Heero POV
Duo and I spent awhile playing chess before Sara brought up lunch for us.
Lunch was an awkward affair and I was glad Duo had suggested we eat in the room instead of in the formal dining hall in front of everyone. I had just eaten less than an hour before the meal came and I wasn't really hungry at all. I wasn't used to eating more than a small portion of soup once a day, half an apple had been all I could consume.
Duo, meanwhile, had no problem wolfing down two apples, a peach, and half a pear. Then he was ready to eat again when the food came! And there was so much food for lunch. Two heaping bowls of chicken and biscuits, plus breads, desserts, and wine.
Duo thanked Sara, who had set this whole tray full of food on a small table for two near the door, then seated himself and motioned for me to come sit down before digging in. I sat at the table helplessly and stared at the bowl in front of me. I really wasn't hungry. I nibbled a bit at the food, but that was all I could manage. I didn't want to throw up.
A few moments later, Duo noticed my situation, because he looked up and asked, "Heero, is something wrong?"
I didn't say anything, I simply stared at the meal. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to disappoint Duo by not eating, but I simply couldn't do it.
"Heero, don't you like the food?" he asked again. If only it were that simple. The little that I had eaten had tasted wonderful, probably better than anything else in my life, but it just wasn't possible for me to eat anymore. Just like I couldn't sleep as much as Duo wanted.
I frowned, the only expression I allowed to show on my face. I wanted desperately to stay with Duo. He seemed to... care about me. Me, the killer.
I could feel my anxiety rising by the second. I knew I needed to say something, and soon, but I didn't know what. The tension in my body increased and I could feel the blood pounding in my veins. I thought of running out of the room, anything would be better than having Duo hate me...
And suddenly, Duo was kneeling next to my chair, holding my upper body in a strong embrace. I had been so wrapped up in myself that I hadn't even seen him move. Gently, he pulled me out of the chair and into his lap, wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me to his chest.
"Heero, don't run away from me," he told me and my blood chilled. He knew what I had planned to do. Was he angry? Would he hate me? Was I going to be... punished?
I know that I keep everything I feel hidden and never let it show on my face, part of my training, but somehow Duo could see through that mask into what I was really feeling. And at that time, I was scared. Not really of Duo, but of Duo's feelings and the consequences of my own actions.
"You don't ever have to be afraid of me," Duo said, speaking slowly to try and get through my anxiety, "I will never leave you. I will not allow anything to hurt you. I will never hurt you. Do you understand?"
All I could do was nod against his chest.
"I want you to tell me what was wrong. What brought all this on? I won't judge you and I won't get mad, but I need to know."
Swallowing, I told him, "I-I can't eat anymore. I'm sorry, but..."
"Shh," Duo quieted me before I could go off into an apologetic rambling, but he didn't release me. Instead, he seemed to ponder what I had said. After a little while, he began to speak again.
"I don't want you to have to tiptoe around me like this, Heero. When something's wrong, you have to tell me," he turned to look at me, "I won't lie, I want you to eat some more, but I'm not going to make you eat until you puke. I know you're not used to eating this much or sleeping this much, but that's because you're severely malnourished. I want you to try and stretch your stomach. You'll have to eat until it's uncomfortable, not painful and not until you feel like throwing up, but more than you'd like to eat. You stomach shrank, buddie, you should be able to eat everything that I got today with no problem, but you can't because your stomach isn't big enough. It's making you weak and scattering your thoughts. Or at least, I think it is. You're pretty strong and you seem all together, but still..." Duo trailed off, taking the time to run his fingers through my hair as I continued to plaster myself to his chest. On some level, I had already known everything he was saying, but it was unnerving to hear someone else say it about me.
"We're going to have to get you back into prime condition," Duo said, smiling affectionately, "Which means nothing but sleeping late and eating junk food for you," he teased.
"That doesn't sound too bad," I ventured.
"Hm, you may think that now, but just wait until I have had you tied to a bed for nine hours feeding you nothing but chocolate."
I smirked at that image, it was something that I had never even imagined before.
"Seriously, we're going to have to get your body used to eating and sleeping more than it's used to and you're probably not going to like it."
"It won't... hurt... will it?" I asked timidly, this was starting to sound to much like training for my liking.
"Heero! Didn't I just tell you that I wouldn't let anything hurt you? When I said you might not like it, I meant the mental aspects. Someone who was kept as busy as you were is not going to be happy lying in bed doing nothing for most of the day. Now, let's get back to our meal."
I didn't want to let Duo go. That was probably the first time in my life I would have preferred to simply sit on the floor than do something constructive. When Duo released me and moved back to his own side of the table, it left me feeling cold. And alone. It was all I could do to keep myself from walking around the table and curling up in his lap.
I had already eaten so much that my stomach felt like it would explode, so I only managed two more bites. Duo finished his meal, grabbed a book, and pulled me over to curl up with him on the bed.
Duo was right, I hated it. What was the point of lying in bed if I wasn't even tired? To make things worse, Duo was allowed to read a book, but he wouldn't let me look at one, saying, "If I let you have a book to read, you'll do that instead of sleeping. I can put the book down if I feel tired, I really don't think you could."
Eventually, I did drift off, having nothing better to do.
When I woke some time later, Duo was gone. Quickly, I scanned the room and found no trace of him. My stomach plummeted when I realized that he might have went back to where he came from. Quickly, I threw the covers off and slid out of bed. Maybe I could catch him before he left...
My thoughts were interrupted by Duo prancing around the corner in new clothes, presumably the ones the seamstress had made for him.
He looked stunning, decked out in an all black outfit with long sleeves and pants. It was made of silk so it shifted with his graceful movements. It even had a cape that trailed down over his back and obscured the view of his wings and tail. Grinning, he danced over to me and handed me a pile of clothes, then waved and saying, "Get dressed," before bounding back out the door.
I held up the clothes in my hands. The seamstress must have made a mistake. The clothes I held where made of a beautiful satin with a coat of heavy wool underneath for warmth. It was a deep green color, the color of pine needles in the fall. The stitching was so tiny and intricate that it could barely be seen and it had a beautiful set of wings embroidered into the back. It looked like something for a noble, not a lowly servant like me.
I bit my lip, debating whether it would be worse to disobey Duo's order or put on something that was obviously not for me. Before I could even come up with a decision, Duo poked his head back in the room, frowned, and yelled, "Just put it on already!" Then shut the door again. He certainly seemed to have gained some more energy.
I was in motion before I even knew I was moving, discarding my old clothes and donning the new ones. The last thing I wanted was for Duo to get mad at me. As soon as I had the clothes on, I began to revel in the feel of them. The pleasant swishing sound they made when I moved. The fact that they didn't make my skin itch. The warmth of them.
"You done yet?" Duo called from outside. It dawned on me while I was telling him yes that he had been waiting for me to change to come back in, wanting to let me keep my privacy. I just couldn't understand Duo.
Duo made his entrance with Sara in tow.
"Well," he said, casting an arm my way, "How does he look, Sara?"
"He looks wonderful, milord. Simply stunning!" Sara said, a strange gleam coming into her eyes that made me a bit uncomfortable.
"Sara here was just informing me that dinner will be not too far away and we can go down to the main hall and listen to the minstrels before that. What do you think, Heero?"
"If you would like," I told him, not sure what to say. I had never heard a minstrel before and didn't have much interest in them, but if Duo wanted to go so would I.
"Alright then Sara," Duo said, turning back to her, "Would you go prepare us a table and we'll meet you down there in a few minutes? Thanks hon."
Sara smiled and left. It was no wonder the servants liked Duo so much, he treated them like people instead of slaves. He treated me like a person and I was nothing.
"Heero, are you sure you want to go tonight? We could just eat up here."
"I... Duo, I'm not hungry. I'll go with you to see the minstrel, but..."
"What did I tell you? You're not going to want to eat, but you have to. Just try, alright? And, Heero, tell me if you're getting nervous. We'll leave. Don't get yourself so upset that you're about to go into a panic attack. And, above all, try to have some fun."
I nodded and Duo led me out of the room and down the longs halls. Eventually, we reached the banquet hall. The hall was huge and elaborately decorated. It had almost a theater feeling to it, with a large stage in front. Lots of long, square tables were set up in front of the stage in banquet style. All the important people at stronghold and some of the lesser ones were seated at the table. When we entered, the food was just being laid out and a young, red-haired woman was singing an Irish ballad.
Dinner would have been excellent. I managed to eat more food than I thought I would and Duo seemed to approve since he smiled at me. I even found that I really enjoyed the performances put on. It seemed that a traveling band of gypsies had stopped by and been hired to perform for a few nights. It would have been a wonderful evening if it weren't for the stares and whispers of the people around us.
Even as I sat there I could feel eyes of the people that lived at stronghold, those seated and those serving. They stared at me, then whispered to one another, wondering why someone like me was dressed in such fine clothing, sitting with someone so much high in class than I. I was so afraid that someone was going to come up to us, point at me, and say, "You don't belong here!"
I think Duo sensed my discomfort, but did nothing because he wanted me to ask. He wanted me to show that I understood that I could ask for things and I would get them. But it was hard for me to break away from my old habits. It hadn't even been a week since Duo found me, I was not accustomed to being treated as anything but a slave.
Either way, when I began to shake Duo decided it was time he took a bathroom break. Making our excuses quietly, he pulled me out of the dining hall and to the bathrooms. Once inside, he put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a deep look.
"Calm down," he told me firmly, then disappeared into one of the stalls. I think those few minutes of being alone helped me more than anything. I hated being alone, but I had been alone for so long that having someone with me all the time was starting to get to me. I just needed some time to sort myself all out.
However, as pathetic as it sounds, I found myself missing Duo before he even came out of the stall.
"Feel better?" he asked me lightly, giving me a once over. I nodded.
"Do you want to go back to the room?" he questioned. I thought it over for a minute. I didn't want to have all those people looking at me again, but I had been enjoying the show and Duo seemed to be having fun.
"If you would like, I would prefer to return to the dining hall," I replied. Duo smiled and lead me back to the hall.
I enjoyed most of the evening, even after we got back. People still gave me looks and glances, but it wasn't anything I couldn't stand knowing Duo was there to protect me. It was one of the best days of my life... until the end.
The performers had just finished their last show of the night and everyone was leaving. Duo and I rose form our chairs and began toward the exit. I felt someone's eyes on me and glanced over my shoulder.
Master J was standing behind me, glaring at me hatefully. My blood ran cold. I was too terrified to do anything more than stare. He had on this long, red jacket and I could have sworn it was covered in blood.
I hadn't been working. I hadn't been pulling my weight. Master J was going to retrain me...
The moment lasted only a second before Duo pulled me away, but it seemed like an eternity. I'm not sure I was capable of choosing a direction to walk in at that time, so it was lucky for me that Duo took the lead. I wasn't even aware when he decided to take a detour going to the room and stop at the kitchen. I was, however, aware when he pulled Sara aside and asked her for some fruit as a snack.
"Sure, milord, it'll just take a minute for me to cut it up..."
"Don't bother. Could you just put a knife on the tray? I'm sure we can cut up the fruit by ourselves."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course! You look a little tired, we'll be out of your hair quicker this way."
Perhaps Duo would want me to cut up the fruit for him. And the room needed tidied up. And Duo's clothes needed washed.
I suddenly understood why Mast- Lord J was so angry. There were plenty of things to do, I simply wasn't doing them. I was being lazy and useless. Maybe if I got them all done, I wouldn't be punished. This thought served to brighten my disposition as I followed Duo to the room.
As soon as we got in the room, I set to work. I straightened out the bed, the rugs on the floors, the draperies. I also put Duo's book back on the shelf and put away the pieces to the game we had played. I even set the fruit on the bedside table in case Duo got hungry at night, but I didn't cut it so it would still be fresh hours later. Maybe I could do enough to make up for my earlier behavior and not be punished.
Duo, on the other hand, had not been enlightened to my epiphany. When I asked him if I should take our clothes down to the river to wash, he had a fit.
"Go to bed Heero! You are not doing laundry in the middle of the night! No! N-O!"
"But Duo, I need to earn my keep. Please?"
"What keep? You are not a slave. You are not a possession. You're a living, breathing person, act like it! Eat, sleep, whatever! It's not normal for you to run around working like this. It's not good for you," Duo said with a finality that seemed to nail in place the lid of my coffin. Taking me by the wrist, Duo dragged me over to the bed and forced me out of my clothes into a soft pair of pants and shirt that he pulled from the drawer.
There had to be some way for me to make him let me go.
"Duo, I need to go..."
"No."
"But I want..."
"No."
"Can't I just..."
"Not a chance. Go to sleep," Duo said, pushing me toward the bed.
It went against all my training to push back the way I did, but I had to do it. I had to please Lord J. Duo seemed surprised when I resisted. He frowned in confusion and paused for a moment, then leaned against me lightly, testing my strength. The next time he tried to push me to the bed, he easily over powered me. Climbing onto the bed with me, he pinned me to the mattress.
"Heero, I told you when we started this you weren't going to like being inactive. But it's only for a month or two, until we get your strength back..."
All I could think was,A month or two?! That's how long he plans to make me do this? Lord J will retrain me at least twenty times!
I wasn't even thinking when I pushed Duo off of me, but I must have surprised Duo with my strength, because he fell backwards onto the bedside table. I watched as he hit the table and it gave out under his weight, dropping both him and the tray of fruit onto the ground. I watched the knife cut through the palm of his hand and up his wrist. Watched the deep red blood begin to fall onto the carpet with a steady drip.
The next thing I knew, I was running down a hall. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recognized it as the hall that led to my room and automatically began searching for a place to hide. Quickly, I found my little crevice that I often used to hide from Dekim and Barton. I found it almost ironic that I was now using it to hide from Duo.
I can't tell you how long I hid there, cowering in that tiny space between the beams and the ceiling. Maybe I was waiting for hell hounds to come racing down the hallway and gobble me up. Perhaps I thought the floor would open and swallow me. Maybe I thought I would simply fall into the pits of hell for what I did.
It had happened before.
It might have been an hour or it might have been only fifteen minutes later when I heard Duo's voice calling for me. He seemed like he was trying to calm and cajole me instead of being angry and threatening like I had thought it would be.
As he came closer, I could see a scrap of cloth tied loosely around his wrist. Looking closer, I could see that the cloth had been torn from his shirt and the knot in the make-shift bandage was coming apart quickly.
I could also see blood through the dark material.
I shrank back into my hole as Duo neared me. I tried to keep my breathing shallow so he couldn't hear me. The clap of his bare feet hitting the stone floor echoed through the passage.
Duo stopped right in front of where I was hiding and looked up. I could barely see the top of his head turn so he could see the place where I was.
"Heero?" he questioned calmly. All I could do was move forward where he could see me. Our eyes met and he didn't look angry, but I couldn't understand how he could not be angry with me. I was a bad slave. I was lazy. I never listened to his orders. I hurt him.
"Heero, come down," Duo told me, calmly but determinedly, as though if I didn't come down he would come up an get me.
Usually when I was leaving my hole, I'd just jump the few feet to the ground, but Duo was in my way that time. When he saw me making hesitant movements to try and get down, he reached up his arms. I leaned forward precariously and put my hands on his shoulders. Duo then pulled me out of the hole and gently placed me on the ground, keeping me tight against his chest.
At first, I thought this might have been because he didn't want me to run away. Or maybe he wanted me within hitting range. Or maybe he just wanted to yell at me. The point is, I was on edge, ready to try and counter-balance for any blows I received, my heart in my throat.
Gradually, I realized that Duo wasn't making any aggressive moves and my heart rate slowed down to normal. I dared peek at him under my bangs, but he had me cuddled against his chest so there wasn't much I could see. Absently, Duo ran his hands along my back in a calming gesture. I was starting to drift off right there on my feet when Duo's bandage brushed my elbow. I shot back to attention.
"Duo, I'm so-..."
"Shh. Well talk about this later. You're about to fall asleep on your feet."
"But-..."
"Hush. No more talking."
Then suddenly my feet were no longer on the ground. I grabbed for the nearest object and clutched it to me. It wasn't until I felt the sway of movement that I opened my eyes to see that I was clutching Duo's neck.
"Easy, Heero, I'm not going to drop you," he soothed as I registered that he was carrying me.
Duo carried me all the way back to the room and into bed. He literally pulled back the covers and put me into the bed, then pulled the covers back up before sliding into bed on the other side. He wouldn't let me say a word, hushing me every time I tried to apologize. All I could do was let him pull me tight against his chest, let him cuddle and protect me all through the night.