"I don't understand why you have to go away to school, Pacey. What's wrong with State?"

"I didn't get a scholarship to State. You did. And you only want me to go so you'll have someone to insult everyday." Pacey winked at her as he loaded the boxes into the back of his truck.

"It would save me a lot of time on developing relationships," she remarked, sarcasm dripping from her words. "But I'm serious, Pacey. Why are you going away? It's always been you and me. The outcasts against the world."

"Jo, in case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly outcasts anymore. You graduated at the top of our class, and I got an athletic scholarship to Ohio State. You know I've always wanted to play with the Buckeyes. This is my chance to be something more. And you've got the world at your fingertips now, Jo. You're going to be a teacher. There's nothing better than that." Pacey gave her a mocking smile. "Or so I've heard."

"Pacey, I know this is going to surprise you, but I'm going to miss you." She looked at her shoes, tears filling her eyes. "A lot."

He pulled her into a hug. "Jo, you're not getting rid of me, and I'm not pushing you away, either. I mean, you're driving down with me and staying for a week, and then we're heading to Lansing for your first week. Classes don't start for another month, we have time."

Joey shook her head. "This doesn't feel right."

"Joey," Pacey murmured, but stopped when she held up a hand.

"I know you don't put much faith into my feelings of doom, but I do. When this finality feeling washes over me, I don't dismiss it. Something is ending, and I'm terrified." Joey felt a tear slip from her eye and make its way down her face.

Pacey brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. "I will not willingly let you fade out of my life, Josephine Potter. You've meant, and mean, more to me than you'll ever know." His hand tangled in her hair when he slipped it behind her neck. Softly, slowly, he pressed his lips to hers. It was gentle, and full of more emotion than she was capable of dealing with. "Jo, you're special to me. I'm not letting you go."

Joey could only look at him, knowing that if she lost him, it would be her doing.

----

Joey leaned back on her pillow and pushed the memory out of her mind. It had been popping up at the most inopportune times lately, and she knew exactly why. Pacey had called a week ago, to tell her all about his new girlfriend. His girlfriend, who he'd been seeing for the last seven months. Apparently, she had created the moon and the stars, and she was supposed to be just as thrilled by this as Pacey was.

He'd just have to forgive her if she hadn't danced around the room when she'd heard the news.

It wasn't as if she didn't want Pacey to be happy. She wanted that more than anything. She had just thought, that with that kiss, there was a promise of more for the two of them.

But she'd been wrong. Again.

So, instead of meeting him at home on the holidays, she stayed at school, lying about huge projects. She came home only when necessary, and she always made sure he was in Ohio when she did go home.

"Jo, there's a party at the Kappa house. You game?" Joey's suitemate, Miranda stepped through the threshold into Joey's room, and began picking through her closet.

"Who's all going with you?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbows. "My red tank top is still in your room, if that's what you're looking for."

Miranda grinned at her. "That's right. Remind me to yell at you about that."

"Maybe later. I'll get dressed and meet you guys down stairs, okay? I have to make a phone call."

"Yeah, no problem. My black skirt is hanging up in the bathroom if you're interested." Miranda winked at her, and sashayed out of the room.

Joey grabbed her cell phone off her desk, and pressed the all too familiar speed dial button. It rang twice, like it always did, and then someone picked up.

"Hello?" a sugary female voice came through the phone, shocking Joey to the core. What was she doing answering his cell phone? "Hello?"

"Sorry, wrong number," she muttered quickly before flipping the phone shut. "I'm not calling back," she said to his picture. "I won't do this anymore."

Joey quickly dressed in a hot pink halter and Miranda's black skirt. She'd developed quite the reputation at college, and at this moment, it didn't bother her one bit. Getting blitzed tonight would make Pacey drift away to a part of her mind that couldn't touch her when she was high. She'd leave him behind for a few hours and replace him with someone she wouldn't remember the next day.

She knew it wasn't a healthy cycle, but it worked. And it worked well. And slowly, day-by-day, it was getting easier and easier to leave Pacey behind for good.

----

"Who called?" Pacey asked, climbing back into the car, two coffee cups in hand.

"Wrong number."

"Let me see."

Courtney handed him the phone, taking the coffee from him. "It was a girl. Sounded kind of like that one chick that used to call you all the time. What was her name? Johnny?"

Pacey bit back a sharp retort. He was beginning to think that the reason Joey didn't call anymore was because Courtney found it necessary to answer all of his phones. "Her name is Joey."

"How butch."

"Shut up." Pacey pressed the button to view his missed calls, and he wanted to punch something, or someone when he saw that it had been her. "What did you say to her?"

"I didn't say anything to her. All I did was answer the phone. After I said hello, she grunted into the phone and hung up."

"Courtney, get out of the car."

"Excuse me?" Her blue eyes burned into his, her cheeks turning dark crimson. She was a gorgeous girl. Luscious, even. However, that wasn't the recipe for spectacular personality.

"You heard me. Your apartment is only three blocks from here. Get out of the car, and go home. I don't need this shit right now."

"Look, Pacey, just because your stupid little whore of a best friend can't deal with the fact that you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you can be an ass to me," she spat through clenched teeth.

"This has nothing to do with Joey."

"I have friends, Pacey. Friends who go to school with her. I've heard things. Drugs, parties, guys. She's obviously not the same person she used to be."

"Shut up and get out."

Courtney gave him a baleful glance. "I'll be by for my stuff tomorrow. Go visit her, Pacey. You'll see."

"Get out."

Courtney climbed out of the car and walked way, pausing only to dump her coffee on the passenger side door. She flipped him off before charging down the street towards her building.

Pacey paid her no attention, focusing on his phone, and wondering if he should call her or not. It was Friday, so she was probably holed up in her room studying.

"Go visit her, Pacey." Courtney's voice taunted him. He knew Joey had changed since they went off to college, but he wouldn't even pretend to believe that it could be anything as horrible as what Courtney had just accused her of.

He tried her cell phone, getting only her voicemail. "Hey, it's Jo. You know what to do. I'll get back to ya." He hit the end button without leaving a message, knowing that she wouldn't call him back. He'd been an ass where she was concerned lately. He knew that her classes weren't going well. He'd heard that much from Bessie. And he knew that Joey wouldn't tell him if she was struggling, because she had too much pride.

He'd go visit her. Purely to assure himself that she was safe, that she was okay. That she was still there.

Because she had to be.

He didn't know what he would do if he lost her.