Thank you BlueWater5 and PadmeG!

PearlM21: Indeed a mystery, isn't it? =)

Authors note: So sorry for the big, messy chapter ahead! A lot happens, so I apologise, and you're going to have to endure more of Severus' unhinged anger for a little while longer…Also warning ahead for a brief mention of attempted suicide.

"Strength isn't how well you hide or carry your pain. It's how you wear it with honesty. Strength is owning the darkness, admitting when you barely have the will to carry on. It's letting your vulnerability seep like sweat for all to see. Strength is in the fragility. It is not the absence of breaking; it's living while broken."

– Julia Pauhl

CHAPTER 24: Inner Demons

October 5th, 2002

[Severus Snape]

Sunday did not start off as Severus anticipated.

Despite his persistent nightmares overnight, he had spent most of Sunday morning rudely awakened by a desperate student, who had alerted Severus to mischief conducted by the benevolent Peeves. Peeves figured it would be amusing to set traps upon the first years – one being a young Slytherin – thus Severus was called to unstick them from the floor. The moment Severus had appeared, Peeves floated away laughing manically which had only made him more furious. He was sick and tired of dealing with that petulant spirit and wish there was a way to vanquish him for good. He had better things to do with his time than attempt to pry helpless students from surfaces where they shouldn't be.

And he could have sworn he heard Dawn's subtle chuckle of amusement somewhere down the corridor after his quick burst of anger once the students ran off. Whether they bolted in fright because of his short temper, he couldn't ascertain.

He had crossed paths with Dawn several times already that morning, with the woman snatching the last cinnamon muffin from the table between them during breakfast. She appeared a little gleeful at the time knowing full well he'd been eyeing that for the last ten minutes, but that just further soured his mood. And later he had observed her taking points off an unruly Gryffindor who had been charming paper planes to chase and target a shy young Ravenclaw.

He found it rather irritating that he discovered her there at the library at the same time he decided to rummage the runic directory of the Restricted Section. And this had happened twice in the same week already, and he barely did as much as cast a shadowed glance her way, hoping she wasn't going to bother him during the times when silence was the most comforting. The last thing he desired was another Gryffindor with their nose within his personal space. Irma's deafening shrieks at the first years in the distance were enough to make him wince. He definitely did not miss that voice.

But regardless, Dawn stopped approaching him directly. He wondered what had happened to have Dawn finally develop some common sense and leave him be, but that was a thought for another day. He wanted to spend as little time in the Aurors vicinity as he could. Knowing that people were finally keeping their distance, did help put him a little more at ease and redirect his focus on why he was there. He simply couldn't focus with all the nonsensical chatter and small talk, and his mind was busy enough in those days.

The fewer people he dealt with on a daily basis, the better.

He knew Harry was away at the Potters' home for the weekend spending time with his family, thus Severus chose to remain within the castle grounds. But he knew Harry was set to return that evening, and he couldn't help but think back on their last conversation at the Astronomy Tower.

He had suspected something was deeply wrong. He failed to break into Harry's mind yet again, and he knew that logically, Harry was abysmal at Occlumency. He had tried many times, even before Hogwarts, and the attempts were still unusually unsuccessful. So, it surely could not be it.

Thus, he needed to do a little investigating and he had a thought that initially perhaps his own elixir created these problems as Harry used it long-term. A side effect Severus really did not anticipate with his unique brew. But of course, such effects would never have been detected on a short-term basis. Either he was required to adjust it, or maybe it was Harry's previous blunder – which he specifically warned him about – which had caused such a disastrous effect. Lapses in memory were not something Severus was comfortable seeing in the Gryffindor, as he was as terrible with the past as he was.

Or it could be Occlumency after all. Either way, he needed to figure this out so Harry wouldn't hurt himself further, despite his ignorance about it. He was going to drum it out of that brain of his, no matter what it took.

Harry,

Meet me at the tower. Tonight, at Seven.

Don't be late.

Severus S.

He wrote Harry a quickly scribbled parchment and sent it on its way directly to him in their own little method, once he knew the Gryffindor was due to arrive back to the castle. Admittingly, it was rather handy. It was quick, efficient, and discreet. Last thing he desired was to have someone else pry into his business. Owl posts always posed a bit of a security risk, but at least this simple method put Severus' mind at ease that it was sent directly to the recipient and not in the talon of an unruly owl.

To Severus' surprise, Harry arrived in time for a light pelt of rain upon the roof of the tower where he waited. The Gryffindor appeared drenched and rain-soaked, and Severus' eyes gleamed in amusement at the soggy state of him as he stood by the railing overlooking the lake. Instead, he withdrew his wand and cast a drying charm upon him, instantly drying his clothes, all except his unkempt hair. Now he looked less like a soaked canine.

"Thanks, sir, " Harry mumbled, as he joined Severus at the tower's edge.

After a brief pause, Severus gave Harry a sidewards glance, "How's the little cretin?"

"Teddy, is doing fine, " Harry looked surprised by the question, "He asked me when you can play music with him again."

Severus rolled his eyes, "He still remembers? I was much hoping he didn't."

Harry smiled, fondly, "Yeah, of course, he does. He's always mentioning it. You'd be surprised what kids remember."

Harry turned away and looked out towards the lake – soft rain pelted at its surface. And yet that was all the sound that could be heard. Severus took a few careful glances at the Gryffindor's profile – the emerald eyes, yet again, looked distant. Almost distracted. Disturbed, even. He couldn't quite place it, but the tiredness in his features told him that perhaps his nightmares had since carried him to Hogwarts. That, Severus could relate with. But there had to be something more to it. He knew Harry had his fair share of struggles over time, as he did, but something here was…different. He couldn't quite place it and needed further investigation.

Something had been bothering him for a while now.

Now was a good time as any.

"Harry – Do you remember anything of Black?"

Harry frowned, quite obviously taken aback by a name he rarely hears anymore, "Why do you ask?"

"Enlighten me."

Harry paused for a moment, deep in thought. Something was slowly ticking within the boy's mind, but the cogs failed to turn. He took note of the deeply furrowed brow, focusing his attention on a group of ducks gathering by the lake's edge. The answer was taking far longer than expected, and to Severus, that was indeed worrying. Eventually, Harry looked back into Severus' eyes ever so briefly, until he averted his gaze once again almost shamefully, "I-I don't know. All I can remember is Sirius' bloodied face in my nightmares. And I know that's not how he died. I remember pieces of seeing him at Grimmauld Place, but…Nothing is clear. Severus…I can't really remember, " Suddenly Harry looked back at him, and the sudden pleading gaze was unnerving once those green eyes widened in fright, "…What's happening to me? Why can't I remember?"

Damn it.

Severus contemplated the answer, but he feared he did not have an adequate one to give. Harry was quite obviously suffering from some psychological hindrance from all he has endured from a young age, and now it has begun to take its toll. He looked at Harry carefully, who's eyes now seem to be desperate for some answer to make sense of it all. He could barely make sense of it all, himself.

No, don't say trauma. You could very well make things worse. Harry may not be able to cope with that…Give him time to slowly process it. Have some shred of decency, at least.

Doing his best to keep his own composure, he allowed his own worried expression to soften a little, "I am unsure. But as it seems, it may possibly be as a result of your…past events."

"But – " Harry blinked a few times, " – Why now? I was fine for a while."

"Were you, now? I wouldn't be so certain of that, " Severus retorted rather bluntly, but eventually gave a small sigh once he took note of the deep worry still etched within Harry's features, "Some things simply take a little longer to manifest. What you endured, were not simple things, Harry."

Harry paused for a moment, still quite evidently trying to process what was happening. He looked several shades lighter as if he was going to be sick. But eventually, his breaths grew slightly erratic as the Gryffindor panicked, "W-what do I do? – "

Without thinking too much of it, Severus suddenly reached out and placed both hands on Harry's shoulders, squeezing gently, feeling more comfortable with the gesture over time. He silently marveled at himself for once showing such awkwardness at first, but now since came to welcome it with ease and familiarity. He only hoped the gesture was enough to comfort Harry for a short while, but he was unsure if that would ever be enough. If it didn't comfort Harry, admittingly, it was a small comfort to Severus, too.

"Perhaps ask the Headmistress to borrow the Pensieve if you so wish, " Severus spoke softly, "However I must warn you, that extracting memories from a mind which displays difficulty recalling, may cause them to become skewed and fractured. You may not be satisfied with what you see."

There was what seemed like a small whimper from Harry and a piece of Severus' heart shattered away. Harry stared up at him for a moment, hoping for more of an answer or simply a clarification. And for that moment, he could only see the eleven-year-old boy he once remembered all those years ago. But Severus' heart sunk deeper without a proper solution to give. His own potion was a work in progress, and far from any real positive effect. He himself was suffering the full brunt of it, enduring the negative effects for himself. The downside to being an innovative potions master – one must usually volunteer himself as a lab rat. It was far from seeing any desired effect and was nowhere near ready to be used.

But Severus never removed his hands from Harry's shoulders, "Harry, listen to me very carefully – The mind has natural mechanisms for protecting itself. Blocking certain memories which procure a strong effect and response, is what the mind does to protect you – "

" - But I don't want Sirius blocked from my mind!" Harry was clearly upset.

"Remember what I told you those months ago? The mind is simply protecting you from the grief of losing a loved one. It dulls the memory, to lessen the pain, " Severus answered cautiously, feeling his lips twitch the pain of the statement he knew so well, "Grief and guilt are powerful emotions. Do not underestimate the damage both can do."

"I don't want to lose my memory of him…Or anyone else, " Harry's eyes teared up heavily, "What if I don't get them back?"

"You will, Harry. In time, you will. Hold on to what you can remember, and the rest will slowly make its way back to you, " Severus paused in thought, "I have the dreaded feeling that perhaps overuse of the elixir is what magnified the loss in your memories, to begin with. Powerful events can cause lapses, but the elixir, by relaxing the mind, may have been inhibiting them and sealed them away. Your mishap with them may have been the culprit, and now your mind has been putting up defenses to protect itself."

…And perhaps used Occlumency subconsciously to compensate.

Harry looked a little afraid, "C-can you use Legilimency to search for them?"

Severus knew he could not. He tried, even without his permission. But something was blocking him access, and he could not pierce through his mind. "Harry – I cannot – with a mind like yours, it is treading on delicate ground. One wrong slip and you could permanently lose them. The mind is like a fragile web…I cannot just recklessly plow through it."

Harry closed his eyes briefly, as both stood in silence for several moments. Eventually, Severus slowly removed his hands from his shoulders, causing Harry to open his eyes suddenly as if someone yanked a warm blanket off him on a bitterly cold winter's night. Severus tried to search Harry's distant green eyes again for something more, but he was yet again, unsuccessful.

Surely, he's not using Occlumency? But…How? It just had to be it. What else could it be?

The cruel irony of this was that this was the mask Severus had to wear for so long, sealing away his thoughts and emotions, as if he buried them in his own personal treasure chest. Locked, with the key thrown away. Once he erected his Occlumency shields, keeping his emotions hidden for many agonising years was far too easy. It was the moment it finally broke, which almost consumed him. And prior to his return to Hogwarts, Severus hadn't used it since he faced Voldemort that night of his near-death. He had no need to use it after that, and yet he had no choice to use it once he began teaching again. It was almost like a habit he couldn't break, but keeping his real feelings hidden away was the safest thing he could possibly do for himself. He wanted to preserve whatever shred of dignity and honor he had left and blocked his true heartache and darkness within was the only way he could survive it all. Breaking it all down now would be the end of him. Facing everyone else was hard enough, and thus, masking it all made the days a little easier to bear.

Severus recognised that need within Harry and realised that he was also scared, too. But he didn't want Harry to be that way – not like him. He didn't want the Gryffindor's soul dying inside, just so that everyone else would assume he had it all figured out and managed. Seeing Harry trying to compose himself was almost like a punch in the gut. He hated seeing him in this way, and it wasn't a path he wanted him to take. Harry always wore his heart on his sleeve in true Gryffindor style, despite Severus' annoyance with it, and yet seeing him so dissociative and lost behind those curious green eyes was almost sickeningly unsettling to him.

There was a time in his life when he constantly berated the boy for it, but now…Now, it just didn't seem right at all. Not for Harry, and especially not now when their enemy has been destroyed.

Controlling emotions at times was one thing but locking them all away entirely could create more damage in the long run. The longer the emotions were sealed, the harder the walls were to break down. He knew this from his own experience when Harry himself chipped away at his own walls he had fortified himself for years. Harry should not be going through it – He had loved ones. Family and friends in abundance and it hurt to see Harry feel so unsafe with himself, that he would risk his relationship with those he knew just to protect himself.

This was not a path Severus desired to see Harry travel down.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to remember them, Severus. And every time I try, I just remember the faces I see when I fall asleep, " Harry spoke quietly, hearing cracks in his voice as he did, "And they are never good."

"Is your wife aware of your fears? Do you confide in her about them?" Severus asked, softly.

Harry blinked in confusion for a moment, almost as if he forgot about Ginny, "I, ugh…Not as often as I should. I don't want to burden her with them, especially because she's in them, too..."

"Don't ignore her concerns, " Severus was also getting increasingly worried for Harry and his emotional state, "Allow her to understand your fears. Keeping it all contained within yourself is unhealthy, especially for you."

Harry frowned, "You did it, though."

"I had no choice, Harry. I had no one and I couldn't trust a single soul except Albus. If I slipped, even for a moment, it would have been my death sentence, " Severus tensed, "You, on the other hand, are no longer gambling with your life. Mrs. Potter has expressed her concerns for you time and time again. Do not make the same wretched mistake I did and push them all away."

The Gryffindor froze for a moment, studying him carefully. A small wave of realisation washed over him as he remembered why, and Severus felt some measure of relief that maybe, Harry was able to see reason. Somewhat.

Harry turned away briefly, and Severus watched as he ran his hands through his usual unruly hair. He appeared frustrated, but Severus continued to observe him methodically. Turning back, Harry bit his lip, "…I-I just don't think I have the strength to deal with it. I just…I just can't."

"In the past, I may have told your to control your emotions and discipline your mind. However, you are allowed to feel. Let it flow, burn, and tremble. Release the emotion as you must, but you are not obliged to linger and remain there. Holding it all back will only hurt you more, and I do not wish that kind of pain upon you, " Severus' own voice wavered slightly, "Do not hurt yourself in this way. If it is something I've learned from you…it's this."

Harry lowered his head, a little shamefully.

"You know what you must do, Harry."

Harry lowered his voice to a whisper, almost scared to speak those words, "I've been dreading that conversation with her for quite some time…I'll talk to her."

"Good. Once upon a time, you would have told me to bugger off and mind my own business."

Harry gave a miserable chuckle, "I haven't spoken to her yet."

"It doesn't matter. I want to ensure you make the right choices, " Severus felt a pang of discomfort within his chest, knowing full well he made all the wrong ones in his past, "And I am relieved to know you are no longer fighting against me on it."

Harry nodded agreeably, "Because I know you're right. And I trust you to remain honest with me, as much as I hate to hear it sometimes."

Severus gave a light, careful smirk, "Just a nudge."

"Thank you, sir."

Severus paused for a moment but decided to add something else that was nagging within the back of his mind, "So you are aware – If you any reason you further require a listening ear…You know where to find me."

"I appreciate that, Severus. Although, you know that works both ways, right?"

"Your problems are far easier to deal with, than my own."

"It still works both ways, though."

"Don't be cheeky."

Severus and Harry remained at the Astronomy Tower, diverting the conversation with mundane talk and it wasn't until the Gryffindor couldn't stop yawning, did Severus ordered Harry to get an early night's rest. Once Harry left his company, he remained standing at the railing looking out beyond the floating clouds drifting low at the foot of the mountains surrounding the castle. He could see a few tentacles from the Giant Squid in the distance touching the lake's surface, but the silence within the grounds was soothing and peaceful to his senses.

He couldn't stop dwelling on Harry's conundrum and why he failed to penetrate his mind. The more he pondered, the more he was convinced that Harry was indeed using Occlumency without effort or awareness of it. Almost as if his mind was using it as a silent defence, blocking certain memories and sealing them away from external forces, such as Severus. And even from Harry himself. It was the only explanation for Harry's dour mood, lapses in memory, and strange nonchalant demeanor. Throughout his time back at Hogwarts, he did notice Harry's mood intermittently change through the days. For the most part, Harry seemed content, not necessarily happy, but he could tell how his mind drifted off sometimes. Almost as if he was trying to remember something specific but couldn't.

Severus was determined to get to the bottom of this somehow, and since Harry's faltering memory regarding Black was concerning, it was definitely higher up on his list of priorities. Not that he gave a damn about Black's memory, but it was most worrying when Harry himself was starting to forget even him. Losing memory of loved ones was the most terrifying thing of all and he himself knew that with experience, those memories begin to fade with time. And Harry was far too young for that to happen to him with all that he had to endure.

On his way back to the dungeons to retreat to his quarters for the night, Severus rounded the corner in time to see Dawn at the door to the kitchens in the darkness. The pale torch alight from the wall beside it was barely enough to illuminate her.

"What on earth are you doing here at this hour?" Severus broke through the silence, with a tad bit of disappointment that she didn't jump at his voice.

Dawn's hand remained on the door handle, once she turned her head to face him with a guilty grin on her face, "Oops. I was hoping this trip was a little more discreet."

"You could have called for a house elf."

The woman shrugged, "I didn't want to bother them." There was a slight pause between them, as Severus eyed the woman suspiciously. But Dawn remained calm and thoughtful, leaving behind a strange smirk in her wake, "Care to join me? Don't let me raid the kitchens on my own."

Severus gave a light frown, allowing his arms to hang limply at his side, "I'm not interested."

"Pomona and I had a midnight chocolate fondue with marshmallows and berries, one time. It was rather glorious, " Dawn's shoulder slumped when his face remained passive, "Oh, come on. Surely, you've done it before, too."

"I haven't."

"Join me for a quick tea. Or coffee. Or bourbon. Whatever you feel like."

"Coffee? Anything but that brown sludge."

"Brown sludge, you say? It's the only thing keeping me sane for the morning classes, I'll have you know, " Eventually, Dawn pushed open the giant door to the kitchens and led the way, with Severus trailing reluctantly behind. She tossed her dark blonde hair from her shoulders and wandered to the overlarge stove in the corner. Withdrawing her wand, she flourished it in the air, when a large teapot and two cups came bursting with a clatter from the cupboards. Tapping her wand against the counter, she busied herself with adding the tea leaves and allowed the teapot to begin to boil. She turned away from the stone and leaned back against the counter. Immediately the scent of warm lemon and honey filled their nostrils.

Unknowingly watching her prepare the tea, Severus raised an eyebrow, "I suspect Minerva roped you into this post?"

"No, I applied on my own will."

Severus' face crinkled distastefully, "Why on earth would you do that?"

She looked amused, as she began pouring the tea, "Why not? Hogwarts has been thrown into chaos since the end of the War, and it needed much repair from an educational and political standpoint. With it being horrendously short-staffed, I volunteered my skillset for the task."

"So, I've heard, " Severus said, bluntly.

"You must be relieved, " Dawn asked casually, as she carefully handed Severus the now-brewed cup of tea. It was then he took notice of a glimmer of silver at her chest, illuminated by the dull candlelight within the room. A small silver locket, as what appeared, engraved, and appeared antique and old. The edges appeared faded as if it was something she grasped religiously.

"Relieved? " Severus stopped and turned to Dawn with a deep frown, diverting his attention from the jewelry, "I beg to differ. How so?"

Dawn shrugged, "Of no longer having to face Voldemort again, and consistently following orders from either side. You were a busy man."

"Well, it was either that or flee the country. Of all the things I am, a coward was never one of them, " Severus took a careful sip of the tea, soon hugging the warmth of the drink close to his chest. It was actually rather soothing, slowly relaxing the nerves that had suddenly built up within him.

"I know that, " Dawn responded, gently, "What I meant was that it's, well…freeing. Isn't it? You can very well make your own decisions without the threat of death no longer looming over your head."

"Oh, the irony, " Severus said dully, knowing full well Dawn had no idea of Riddle's curse that had almost killed him after the War. He almost chuckled at the ridiculousness of what she had said, "I suppose it is somewhat liberating."

"Somewhat?" Dawn gave a small, almost mocking chuckle, "Don't sound too enthusiastic about it."

Severus glared stoically at Dawn, keeping his face dulled and deadpan, "I'm overjoyed."

"Right, " Dawn smirked, "Well, at least you have retained a sense of humor regardless."

"It keeps me from snapping at every human in my path."

"Should I be worried?"

Severus pursed his lips, allowing a small pause to linger. His eyes fleeted from the soft blue ones peering back at him, "Not particularly. Just don't make it a habit to pry. I have enough bloody Gryffindors in my life doing exactly that."

Dawn scrunched up her face, but there was still some ounce of amusement there, "Ouch, alright then. I figured another supportive Gryffindor might actually help."

"Two will suffice, " Severus responded coolly.

"In all seriousness, however – " Dawn paused to study Severus' face until she gave a small shrug. The softness in her face melted and soon turned serious, " – I may not know you like the others, but it can't hurt to make a new friend."

"I'm not a child."

"It's not exactly a novel concept, Severus, " Dawn raised an eyebrow, holding her cup of tea close as if she was seeking warmth from its steam. Her eyes widened suddenly, and she turned back to the counter. She opened up another cupboard to find a large, sealed stack of newly baked chocolate chip cookies. She offered one to him, who immediately shook his head, wondering how much caffeine she has consumed throughout her day for her to be this annoyingly exuberant.

He watched as she sneakily took a biscuit and dipped it into her tea. He could only stare in utter bewilderment, as now he felt distracted by her casual demeanor. Disregarding her abysmal decision to dunk a biscuit in a tea not made for it, which had its own measure of repulsion. He raised his chin, "I was a spy – hardly a concept I was enthusiastic about. It had its limitations."

"Yes. Was, " Dawn reconfirmed, "That time has now passed."

Severus quickly downed the rest of his tea and vanished evidence of his unusual meeting in the kitchens. "Enough chit-chat. Ensure you clean up the remainder of the evidence. Ricket dislikes nighttime rummages – from students or staff."

Dawn smirked and nodded obediently, "I'll clear all traces, rest assured."

"Good, " Severus paused, nodding once, before heading to the kitchen door to depart for the night.

"Have a good evening, Severus, " Dawn called, just as he exited the room.

Severus was close to pausing at the door and responding, but his mind told him otherwise. He went immediately back to his quarters, wondering why he even bothered to engage in conversation with an Auror. It felt strange. He knew there was a time when the likes of her were hunting the likes of him. Comrades lost on both sides, but it was still very hesitant territory for him.

It wasn't as if he loathed her – more just loathing of Aurors in general. He had to attack them out of duty to the Death Eaters, thus not leaving a good reputation behind. Of course, he was playing both sides, but the only one on display was his darker days. He was close to being an Undesirable at one point, but he was glad to leave those days behind.

The thought of no longer playing that role was somewhat comforting to ponder, and the woman reminded him of that.

There was something about Dawn that had him intrigued. There was a familiarity with her that he could not quite place. She was, at times, rather irritating. Far too outgoing than he felt comfortable with, and despite the light-hearted blasé approach to her demeanor, there was a sincere patience underneath that Severus did not expect. Despite all his warnings to her face, she was strangely accepting of that and the space he so needed. Perhaps he didn't expect her to take the cautious approach to him seriously, but regardless, he was a little thankful for that. He didn't like the idea of befriending anyone else, but in order to keep as much peace and sanity intact as possible, he needed to approach his colleagues with a little less harshness.

After all, he was stuck with them for the unforeseeable future. The Auror included.

The following day once classes resumed, there was an incident that caused Severus to yell at one of the younger Gryffindors for hexing a Hufflepuff close to the Transfiguration classrooms. He had deducted twenty points from Gryffindor and angrily berated the girl in front of a mob of students. He had sent the injured Hufflepuff to the Hospital Wing, and he lost his temper so quickly, that he caused this child to start crying. Not intentional, but it happened.

But again, he lost control.

He knew his temper had been a bit of a problem ever since his return, and he knew it was something that would have been incredibly challenging for him to face. Harry had seen him angry on multiple occasions, merely because Severus himself was still adjusting to life back within the castle walls. He did his best to cool off in some instances and redirect his anger elsewhere, but such as in this incident, that was not possible. At times, he just didn't know how to handle it.

He didn't realise at the time that a few other people were slowly becoming present, including Harry and Dawn, who were both alerted to the commotion. The last thing he desired was a bloody audience.

Severus averted his eyes briefly and found Harry's green ones – but something within those depths appeared…disappointed. There was no mistaking the slightly disheartened look on his face, and once he realised what that meant, Severus' own heart sunk deeper within his chest.

What the hell am I doing? Severus, you wretched fool…Absolute idiot…

Never in all his years did disappointing the Chosen One, hurt his own soul. It was challenging enough for him to return to Hogwarts to lead the Slytherins to a better way. Whatever that was. But resuming his old anger, appeared familiar at the time. Its dismal, cold tendrils lashing out on someone so young and helpless.

The thought of that now repulsed him. It was an old part of himself that he never hoped to see again.

He watched as the child sniffled as they walked hurriedly away, but it was too late. The tear-stained innocent brown eyes became a permanent fixture in his memory, and all over again, he was reminded of what an utterly pathetic man he still was.

Clenching his jaw, and looking away from Harry, he took off down the corridor in the opposite direction as swiftly as his legs could take him.

He just wanted to be alone for a while.

…And that would be best for everyone.

October 16th, 2002

[Dawn Rheingold]

Early that Wednesday morning, Dawn was called away to an urgent meeting with her team. Much to her dismay, she had no choice but to leave Harry behind to teach the second years in the double morning period. With a quick run-down on the lesson to the Boy Who Lived, she hurried away to the indicated location hidden away in the backstreets of London.

She knew Harry would be more than equipped to teach the class about the Disarming Charm, and if it was one lesson she felt confident handing the complete reigns to, it was that one.

The urgent owl from her superior had told her of another attack, and immediately, a small panic rose within her. Instead of the usual meet at the scene of a bloody crime, there was no mention of a deceased victim. Just a direction to an address. She eventually met Raphael outside of the location, and together, they quietly entered the fold.

A small, cramped, two-story flat located in the south of London was the latest location in their breadcrumb trail. She found Rowan speaking to a young couple in their sitting room – the dark, olive-skinned brunette woman was in tears, with her face buried in the handkerchief she clasped tightly. Her partner, presumably the husband, did his best to console her. Both, however, looked distraught. Suddenly the house felt eerily empty.

At the corner of his eye, Rowan caught sight of Dawn as she entered the family home. Excusing himself politely, he left the couple to themselves and approached Dawn in the adjacent room looking stricken.

Dawn lowered her voice, feeling the room thick with fear and tension, "Rowan…what happened here?"

Once Desmond, Raphael, and Ron eventually joined them, Rowan continued to address the team with all but a solemn look on his face as if they were all standing at a funeral, "This family was attacked barely an hour ago."

"Muggleborn?" Dawn questioned, sternly.

"Muggleborn male, and a half-blood female. Parents. Their child was taken from its bed, with the parents at wand point."

"What?" Dawn stood there, aghast. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. She felt her heart grow heavy.

Rowan continued, despite the disheartened glances in his direction, "Their baby son turned two only last week."

"They've never taken kids before – " Desmond shook his head, in complete disbelief.

"Assuming we are dealing with the same group of people, " Raphael added, looking around to each of them, "It could have been random, who knows?"

"Random? Yeah, sure, in the middle of a Muggle street at a stupid hour of the morning, " Ron cleared his throat, looking worried, "The family alrigh'?"

"Aside from being rather shaken up, they were unharmed. Miraculously, they were able to defend themselves. Unfortunately, at the price of their little one, " Rowan explained rather sombrely. It was an odd sight to see that even her own boss appeared quite visibly shaken up. A man usually so well-composed, faltered even a little. This was not the news either of them expected to hear.

"I've scouted the perimeter, but found nothing suspicious, " Raphael said.

Desmond rolled his eyes, "Of bloody course. Now what?"

"I've contacted the Chief of the Auror Department to deploy constant watch around this area, with a sentry on standby for the family, " Rowan explained firmly, "We cannot leave them defenseless. Not after this."

Dawn swallowed bitterly, feeling ill at the thought, "What could they possibly want?"

Rowan shrugged, appearing just at a loss as they all were, "The figure was shrouded. His face was hidden, and the family didn't recognise his voice. Polyjuice, maybe? A spell? An object?"

A shrouded figure….cloaked? Like the one that attacked me?

Dawn drew in a deep, but shaky breath, "We must keep looking."

She felt quite horribly sickened. A child was taken from the vicinity of his parents. Those who were both held at wand point as the attacker fled with their only child. Something about this did not sit right with her and the more she pondered the thought, the more disgusted she felt. How could anyone think of doing such a thing? It was atrocious…vile. That child now lost, may never get to see its parents again if her team so much as lost sight of their goal. Too much was happening here, and it made her absolutely sick to her stomach.

But what on earth would these people want with a baby?

As she finally departed for home at Hogwarts, she couldn't help but try and piece it all together in her head. Slaughtered Muggleborns. Illusion charms on a grand scale. Stolen children. Possessed magical creatures at the school boundaries. Mysterious cloaked figures.

This was far bigger than they initially perceived this to be, and they needed to figure this out fast before more people were taken….killed….

And the Mark? The new Mark she discovered? She couldn't be sure of what she had seen, but she had nothing to compare it to. It wasn't the Dark Mark, but then again, she hadn't seen one for years. She needed a reference, someone who had it.

…Severus Snape. Of course.

She realised he still bore the Dark Mark, however, faded. But it was still present. She needed to see it up close and after all her years of hunting them down, she was never able to see one again.

But Severus was not an easy man to approach. She found him often defensive, irate, and moody. Understandable given the circumstances, but it made her job a little more difficult. Perhaps he may even have some knowledge that may help them in their endeavor to discover more about this other mysterious group. That is if he even knew anything about it.

She just couldn't be sure.

On the following afternoon, she sought out Severus after another run-in with one of his students, Cyrus Hastwell. A Slytherin she had concerning encounters with before and she needed to confront him about it. She had discovered Cyrus, yet again, covered with cuts and bruises. Despite teaching him the Shield Charm, it was still not enough. Somehow, those Gryffindors found a way. Detentions after detention and points taken could not deter the infamous vicious pair. Her own anger over this situation was enough to seek the man out herself. She wasn't sure what he knew but seeing how the child was resistant to the help of other staff, she highly doubted Cyrus would ever confront his own Head of House about it.

With determination to get to the bottom of this, Dawn arrived at the door to Severus' office and rapt on the dark wooden door several times until she heard a grumble on the other side. Eventually, the door swung open to reveal the man himself, looking visibly bothered by the intrusion.

Dawn, however, remained fortified and serious, "Severus, we need to talk."

"Not the most opportune time."

"It's highly important, and it cannot wait, " Dawn drew in a deep breath, "This is in regard to one of your students, Cyrus Hastwell."

"If it is my student, then they should not be a matter of yours."

"It is when I seem to be catching your student looking worse for wear. I daresay he has ever approached you about it?"

Severus stared at her blankly, seemingly as if he was trying to remember the child's face, "No, he has not."

"Then allow me inside, so we can talk about this. Privately, please."

With a pause and a stiffened jaw, Severus stepped aside allowing Dawn to enter his cold, damp office. Despite the fireplace on one side, it was still not enough warmth to dissolve the frost she seemed to feel upon her skin, regardless of the layers she was wearing. She had only ever seen this office on a few occasions when it was occupied by Horace. But since the exchange of Professors, it adopted a different, cramped feel. Books were stacked in all directions on the bookshelf on one side, giving Dawn the urge to properly put them back into order. The cabinet full of various potion vials and ingredients occupied the glass cabinet on the other side. An old bearskin rug lay on the stone floor in its center, which may very well have been left behind by Horace. A scent of peppermint tea invigorated her senses, from the dormant cup on the corner of his desk beside the messy stack of half-graded essays.

A month and a half into his return, Severus had already settled back into what she presumed, was his office prior to the Headmaster position that was forced upon him.

Severus took a seat at his desk, with Dawn taking the adjacent one. She clicked her tongue and began to question him almost immediately, "What do you know of him? Cyrus?"

The man gave a light frown, "He is exceptional at Transfiguration, but his grades have been plummeting in Potions, Charms, and Defence. He is already failed Runes and Arithmancy."

There was a long heavy pause, before Dawn responded, "…Is that it?"

Severus gave her a strange look, "What else am I supposed to know? His favorite dessert?"

"Severus…"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, "What?"

"Do you want to know the state I often find him in?" Dawn didn't even wait for Severus to answer before she continued, "I catch him after hours, nursing a broken limb, lacerations, and bruises from whatever skin I could see. One day, Pomona caught him crying in the library. Filius has tried to have words with him, but he is heavily withdrawn. He sits alone with his friends, but he never engages with them…I'll bet you a galleon you didn't know that."

"Surely you have better things to do than to spy on my students."

Dawn frowned angrily, "Severus, wake up! Two of my own have been targeting him from the moment he stepped foot at Hogwarts. The twin's parents are high up in the Ministry – Rich purebloods who have quite a powerful footing within the Department of Education. They are untouchable and they know it. Believe me, Minerva and myself have tried to discipline, but it falls on deaf ears.

Something behind Severus' eyes seemed to dim and grow cold. His gaze flashed and changed into a slowly developing fury, "…What of Mr. Hastwell?"

"His parents are not at all phased by it, no matter how many times they have been informed. Being a strong Slytherin family, they see it as a form of discipline and strength-building. Unravel that logic, Severus. That child is suffering."

Severus appeared to slowly close his eyes as if seeing Dawn's blue ones were too much for him to bear. He appeared conflicted and although he was able to maintain most of his composure, the twitch of the man's lips and the mad flashing of his eyes once they opened told a different story.

But Dawn continued far softer in tone, allowing her own sudden rage to simmer, "Do not ignore him, Severus. I don't want you making the same mistake Horace did."

"I forbid you to compare me to that bumbling, self-entitled fool."

"Then do things differently. Cyrus - those kids - need your guidance, Severus. You're the only one who understands them, and likely the only one they can trust."

"I don't coddle."

"No one is asking you to. Simply ensure they feel comfortable and safe with you enough, so they have someone to confide in. Stop scaring them away, for one, " Dawn paused, drawing in a deep breath before she continued more quietly, but she couldn't help the trembling within her voice as her heart spoke for her, "Most of those Slytherins are in a very bad place. The first year after the War ended, we nearly lost one. A second-year boy. Pomona spotted him standing at the railing of the Astronomy Tower from below - she called for help, and Minerva was close by and was able to talk him down. She still blames herself for not doing more, you know. Eventually, the boy's mother took him home, and he never returned to Hogwarts. His father was a Death Eater, who infiltrated the Ministry. Since then, I've had to enforce charmed precautionary measures there upon the tower. You don't want to know how many times I've caught students trying to go, and this isn't even limited to Slytherins. It's horrible, Severus, you have no idea. My heart breaks for them."

Severus, although stoic, appeared to sway rather subtly where he sat. Dawn noticed something behind his eyes that had flickered as if a light was trying to turn on. She saw the man's lips twitch again, and Dawn knew she had struck a nerve. But Severus needed to know. He needed to wake up to the bigger picture around him and realise that things are far worse than he initially perceived it to be. It was also partly why Minerva was so run down and beaten by something she could not control for fear of being scrutinized by the Ministry as to the Gryffindor's parents and the other staff would much rather keep their jobs.

Without much as a light blink, Severus finally spoke in a quiet voice she had never heard usher from him before. It was almost in a whisper, and she had to strain her ears just to make it audible, "…Thank you for informing me."

Dawn nodded, "You of all people need to know. Try and reach out to him, please. There is only so much a non-Slytherin staff member can do for him. Believe me, most of us have tried."

The man leaned forward onto his desk, seemingly staring at a piece of blank parchment. She wasn't sure what to make of his reaction, but from what she could gather, he appeared very disturbed by what she had told him. His brows crinkled together and as he leaned forward, curtains of his limp black hair fell on the sides of his face obscuring those dark eyes of his.

"I'll look into it, " Severus mumbled, but he was now avoiding her gaze.

"Please do. If you were in his position, you'd want someone to support and understand you, too."

Severus' eyes suddenly shot up at Dawn, with his feeble attempts to speak in response. But no word could come out of his mouth. Instead, he gave a single, hesitant nod.

Dawn frown concerningly at the man losing some semblance of composure before him, "Severus, are you alright?"

He nodded again, but she didn't seem very convinced of that.

Dawn rose up from her chair, politely excused herself, and slowly departed the man's vicinity.

And it wasn't until she had closed the door behind her, did she hear a single shattering of glass.

Mr. Hastwell wasn't the only Slytherin who needed help.

October 18th, 2002

[Harry Potter]

Teaching the second years on his own, was quite a personal accomplishment. After Dawn's hasty dash out of school grounds, he was effectively thrown into the deep in order to take over their lesson on Disarming. Harry was however grateful that the lesson was in familiar territory and all he could think back on was the time he taught the DA during their practice lessons.

It was more of a shock to anyone, and he taught the class without a single mishap. He felt confident and was relieved he did not make a fool of himself before his students. But even more so, the students were attentive and listened to his every word. He was able to carry the class in time for the end of the period, and if he wasn't surrounded by young witches and wizards, he would have yelled in delight. Instead, he spent lunchtime in the Great Hall talking about it to Neville who was quite obviously proud of him. Of course, Neville was already far ahead and teaching classes already on his own. But for Harry, this felt different.

It felt like he was finally moving forward and learning to stand on his own two feet. He was so excited by that fact, that he had sent Ginny a letter shortly after the class had finished. Ginny had responded back shortly after that saying how proud she was of him and that further elevated his own confidence in his abilities.

But given the successful run of the class, Harry couldn't help but relay his conversation with Severus within his mind. Occlumency? Surely not. It wasn't possible. He was horrible at it. But then on the subject of Sirius and with a sickening realisation, he found difficulty in remembering his voice. His face. The kindness in his features as he talked about Harry living with him as a family. The dignified power in his words when he told Harry about the Black family tree, and he couldn't even remember what he had said to him. But as he struggled to remember, even that conversation was fading. It couldn't be true. It just...couldn't.

But then again, he couldn't help but think back on Severus' words and how he was made aware of Harry's struggles with his nightmares. He knew he had to talk to Ginny about it, but the thought of it scared him. How does one tell their wife that all they see is their mangled, bleeding corpses? Ginny was already aware of how distorted those nightmares were and time and time again she had told them that they were not real. But Ginny was also aware of his memory lapses and her constant concern over them. He never wanted to forget the little things like names and birthdays and faces of those long since passed. He just couldn't cope with that, and he had to wonder how much worse it could potentially get.

Severus had a point – was it his past hardships causing such stress on his mind? Was it truly his mind shielding him from the pain embedded within him?

But how could it? How could he relax his mind and regain those lost memories? Harry felt like a part of himself was lost.

He knew Severus would try and help him. He appeared to be the only one who could, and ironically, he was the only person he truly trusted with such a delicate aspect of his mind. His memories. Severus had seen so many of them and vice versa. So much, so that the pair of them seemingly bonded with that connection and familiarity. He trusted Severus with his own mind, more than he trusted himself.

Out of his own concern, he tried his best to try and recall Sirius' face…Even Remus'…But to no avail. Tonks, Fred…Even their faces faded from his mind, and he even forgot the sound of their voices. He just couldn't fathom why this was happening, and it hurt to lose something so precious within his heart. Sometimes even the crippling nightmares only burned the bloody images in his mind, and that made him upset that he didn't want to remember them in that way.

Harry had made the mistake of bringing the Resurrection Stone with him, for fear of leaving it out of sight. Such a precious artifact should not be left alone. During his last visit home, Ginny had suggested leaving it behind but out of a fierce protectiveness, he just couldn't part with it. The Stone was almost like a safety net – he knew that it was always within arm's reach and did not want it falling into the wrong hands. There was something oddly alluring about such a powerful artifact, that even mesmerized him. He knew its dangers. And he knew the repercussions of that. But he still couldn't leave it behind.

But it was so painfully tempting and he wanted to use it out of small spite of Severus to prove to him that he wasn't truly losing his memories of them.

There just had to be another solution. Another way.

That Friday afternoon he was finally able to see Dawn since her hurried departure that morning, but something about her seemed rather disturbed. Her usual soft features were strained, and she appeared to be a little more snappy than usual. As if her mood was tainted that day, Harry tried to avoid telling her about his successful class in the morning until she seemed a little more herself. She was awfully quiet as she passed Harry in the corridors and during their teaching of the Fourth years in the afternoon, she continued as if nothing were wrong.

But something was wrong.

He had to wonder what called her away so suddenly. The woman appeared saddened behind those usually warm eyes when she returned, but he was reluctant to ask him about it. Auror business or not…He couldn't help but wonder. The thought alone was clawing at his insides, burning to know.

Once that class had finished, he quietly excused himself from Dawn's company and sent an owl to Ginny to let him know of his intended visit home over the weekend. He had to talk to her. He wanted to talk to her.

After dinner in the Great Hall came to an end, Harry and Severus walked out together watching as Dawn made a quick dash around them and disappeared down the corridor earning a grunt of disapproval from the Bloody Baron floating near the window. But as the pair rounded the corner, both he and Severus looked at each other sharply as a loud echoing thud could be heard close to the library. Severus and Harry soon dashed to where they began to hear the commotion and as they drew nearer, they could hear the sudden shouting from several other students.

And what Harry saw, sickened him.

Cyrus Hastwell, a Fifth Year Slytherin, was being physically attacked by the infamous Gryffindor Campbell twins. The Slytherin soon slid to the floor covered in blood which was dripping from the child's temple. His wand lay dormant much too far from him, likely in his desperate bid to use it. The twins laughed as the Slytherin cowered on the floor, gritting his teeth, enduring the onslaught. A few students were gathered around, some cheering, but many were yelling at the twins to stop.

It was utter chaos.

Immediately the corridor fell silent as Harry and Severus hastily stepped in between them. Their presence alone was enough to silence them. Well, mainly Severus'.

"Mr. Hastwell, pick yourself up, and head to the Infirmary at once, " Severus commanded with seething anger, but the young Slytherin was sluggish to move. Harry could see Severus' fist clenched tightly beside him and his lips curled into a dangerous sneer.

With Severus occupied with his student, Harry turned and shouted angrily at the Gryffindors. His blood seemed to boil beneath his skin, and he tried so desperately to keep it together, "Eleanor and Elliott – you're both getting detention. Make it twice a week for a month!"

The twins started to protest, "But – "

"Don't you dare try and get out of it. I know what I saw."

"It's all his fault! " Eleanor turned her nose towards the bloodied Slytherin, as if the mere sight of him repulsed her, "You can't do this!"

"Yeah? Try me. Detention – First one Sunday night. I don't care what your plans are, you see me in mine – er, Professor Rheingold's office. Seven o'clock, " Harry persisted as his voice rose, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction with dishing out his first ever detention.

It was definitely a day of firsts.

Severus looked at Harry as if he just grew fins. He was just as surprised as he was, and the look the man gave him in return seemed like that of somewhat bewilderment at Harry's attempt to control the situation. Despite the chaos of it all, Severus gave a small nod in Harry's direction, clearly looking a little pleased with him finally stepping into the authoritative role. Harry marveled even at himself for even doing such a thing, even though he had to constantly remind himself that he was a Professor now, and no longer a student. He had deducted points before, but detentions? That was a first for him.

Drawing in a deep breath in his bid to manage his own outburst, Harry turned back to the twins, "Twenty points each from Gryffindor, and head back to your dormitory at once." He heard a few grumbles from the other Gryffindors in the crowd, but he didn't care. They needed to learn and if he was going to reprimand his own, then so be it.

But once Severus tried to approach the Slytherin, the boy seemed to recoil. He shook away the offered hand and tried to stand up on his own, clearly shaky on his feet. Severus tried again and the boy stepped away. Cyrus' eyes cast downwards, not wanting to meet Severus' disarmed gaze. He looked frightened.

Clicking his tongue, a little impatiently, Severus continued, "Allow me to escort you to the Hospital Wing."

The boy shook his head, seemingly not wanting anything to do with his own Head of House.

As Severus moved to speak again, Harry approached the Slytherin instead, "Mr. Hastwell, I'll take you." Mr. Hastwell initially looked repelled, but one more almost repulsed glance at Severus and the boy eventually nodded at Harry.

"Well, enjoy the show? Get back to your dormitories, now!" Severus bellowed at the crowd, clearly angry at the situation and the mere idea of one of his own rejected him. He could tell the man was angry, but there was a wound behind those dark eyes that Harry could not ignore. The crowd cowered slightly until they slowly began to disperse, hearing a few whispers as he disappeared.

Harry was able to finally meet Severus' stunned gaze and without another word, he walked with the boy all the way to the Hospital Wing leaving Severus behind to deal with the remainder of the crowd.

Mr. Hastwell said nothing as they walked, except for the odd whimper in pain. The boy looked defeated, yet furious. There was a fire burning within him that Harry could sense, but he remained quiet, so he didn't have to endure his wrath. Once they reached the Hospital Wing, he was immediately attended to by the Healers who did not deem him healthy or safe enough to return to his Common Room that night. Harry would have forbidden him to leave until the following day, anyway. So, he was to stay overnight for observation and mending of his fractured, displaced shoulder.

Harry didn't leave the boy's side, despite one of the Healers urging him to go and leave them to look after him. But he couldn't bring himself to go, as all he could think about was the memory Harry had witnessed in Severus' Pensieve and the pain and anger that flashed within his eyes on the night he threw him out of his office, to see that identical expression when he had seen Severus only moments ago. He didn't want to think about his father at that time, but it was all he was reminded of. Perhaps Severus thought the same way, too. Harry was angry for him.

Eventually, once the Healers had finished their observation rounds, Harry approached the young Slytherin hidden away behind the partition. The boy looked gaunt and disheveled. His right arm rested in a sling, with light scarring on his face. He looked grim, and still visibly shaken. But the moment he saw Harry, he turned his lip upwards to a small sneer. He obviously did not want any visitors but said nothing.

Harry knew he couldn't turn back but instead lowered himself slowly to the chair beside him. With the softest voice he could muster, he broke the silence, "Mr. Hastwell – Cyrus - you need to talk about this with your Head of House."

"I don't want to talk with Snape – "

" – Professor Snape."

"Whatever. I just don't, okay?"

"Why not?"

The Slytherin shook his head, "I just…don't. He won't understand."

Harry leaned forward onto his knees, "If there is one person who would understand the most, it would be him. Seek him out. You don't know until you try."

"I…can't. Please, I don't want to, " His voice droned on, with a pleading gaze.

"You can't ignore this. We can't ignore this, " Harry felt his body tense up, "Why are they doing this to you?"

Hastwell scrunched up his face, trying to recall, "They've always hated me. Usually, their reasons change depending on their mood. Today was because I simply looked amused at Elliott in Charms class when he messed up a spell."

"We're going to figure this out."

"It doesn't matter, " Hastwell looked away.

"Yes, it does, " He couldn't bear to see the disheartening defeat in the student, "Those two are hurting you…This can't keep happening."

"I've put up with it for five years…What's another two more?"

"You need to stop thinking that way. Go see Professor Snape. He needs to be aware of this, properly, and from you."

"Just another teacher who doesn't want to deal with it. Same with all the rest, " Hastwell said, glumly. He truly looked defeated.

"You don't know him…He is not Professor Slughorn. Please, go see him in his office, " Harry's voice softened again, "We'll figure out a solution, alright? Trust me, we won't give up."

A small light seemed to flash behind the boy's eyes, and lazily meeting Harry's gaze, he gave a weak nod. He didn't appear as if he believed it, but Harry had to.

This can't go on and he was determined not to see history repeating itself.

He just had to at least try.