Kitty and the Rocktumbler
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "Oh my god! Space Aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!"
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ACT TWELVE - Bonding.
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We get to the breakfast table, where Lance and Kitty are having porridge. Lance is slurping it up very messily, while Kitty watches in disgust. Jamie nudges a spoon towards Lance, who tries to eat his porridge with it, to no avail. Kitty ends up lifting her bowl and they eat it by sipping the bowls. We then fade to the garden, where they are trying to feed the birds. Kitty thinks in a singing voice as she watches him.
There's something sweet
And almost kind
But he was mean
And he was coarse and unrefined
But now he's dear
And so unsure
I wonder why I didn't see it there before
After much seed-throwing, they finally get some birds into Lance's claws, who also sing-thinks.
"This sing-thinking is giving me a headache", mutters Xavier as Lance sing-thinks.
She glanced this way
I thought I saw
And when we touched
She didn't shudder at my paw
No it can't be
I'll just ignore
But then she's never looked at me that way before
Kitty ducks behind a tree, trying to figure out what is up with her, while she sing-thinks.
"If you don't stop this, I'll 'shut off' all your minds!!!", screams Xavier.
New and a bit alarming
Who'd have ever thought that this could be?
True, that he's no Prince Charming
But there's something in him that I simply didn't see
Suddenly, Kitty and Lance slump to the floor as Xavier turns off their minds for a while. The objects watch as he wheels off, manically laughing.
Well who'd have thought?, sings Pietro.
Well bless my soul, sings Hank.
And who'd have known?, sings Todd.
Well who indeed?, form Hank
And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?, sings Pietro
It's so peculiar, agrees Hank.
And then they all decide to sing together......
We'll wait and see
A few days more
There may be something there that wasn't there before
We cut to where Lance and Kitty are reading in front of a roaring fireplace
Yeah, perhaps there's somethin' there that wasn't there before, sings Todd from where he and the other objects are hiding behind a door.
"What?", asks Jamie, confused.
There may be something there that wasn't there before, sings Hank, ignoring Jamie.
"What's there mamma?", asks Jamie again.
"I'll tell you when you're older", replies Hank
"Grown-ups ALWAYS say that!", shoutes Jamie, "when am I gonna BE 'older'?!!"
We move on a while and we see Lance getting washed in a tub ready for a night with Kitty.
"Tonight is the night!", says Pietro, then grimaces, "why do I have to be in the same room as naked Lance?"
"Alot of fangirls would KILL to be in your position, Mister", says Kurt,
"I'm not sure I can do this", mutters Lance from the tub, wanting to move the conversation form the fangirls who stalk him.
"Don't be a wuss, Wuss!", snaps Pietro, "You must be bold, daring!".
"Bold, daring", says Lance as he leaves the tub, shaking himself dry, trying to hide parts of his anatomy from the rabid fangirls.
"There will be music", says Pietro, "Romantic candelight, provided by myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love".
"Yes", says Lance, then falters, "I..I..I no, I can't".
"Oh no you don't, I want my legs back", snaps Pietro, smacking him across the head, "You care for the girl, don't you?".
"More than anything", whispers Lance as Storm, a coat rack, starts to manically clip his fur with scissors.
"Then you must tell her", says Pietro, winces as Storm finishes, "Voilla, you look so..so....".
Lance sees himself in the mirror, dolled out in bows and pig-tails
"Stupid", mutters Lance.
"Well, that's the last time I waste my fashion sense on YOU", snorts Storm,.
"Not quite the word I was looking for...okay, maybe it was", shrugs Pietro, "Perhaps a little more off the top?".
Storm moodily fixes it as Todd enters, clearing his throat.
"Ahem, ahem, ahem, your lady awaits", he smiles.
Lance and Kitty meet up at the staircase, all dressed up and head off into the ballroom
"Yeah, my big number, baby!", grins Hank, begining to sing.
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends unexpectedly
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the....
Beast stops
"That's not right...", he murmers, "Todd Fan, Kitty and the Rocktumbler don't fit in the lyrics! Somebody didn't plan ahead!"
Kurt 'ports in, whispers in Hank's ear, who sighs, waving for Kurt to go away
"Fine", he mutters.
We see Kitty and Lance dancing in the ballroom as Hank continues to sing.
Ever just the same
Ever a suprise
Ever as before, ever just as sure
As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bittersweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong
Certain as the sun
Rising n the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
La de da de da
He looks at Kurt who gives him a tumbs-up
"God, that;'s degreading", he groans as he sings.
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
La de da de da
He pushes a half-asleep Jamie along
"Off to the cuboard with you now, Jamie", he says, "It's past your bedtime"
We watch Jamie hop off, muttering about child labour laws and putting children in cupboards.
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Another chappie done and dusted. Please do review. Until next time...