Well, this is very close to the end. One more thing has to happen and then I'll probably just do a double update for the next chapter and the Epilogue. Sorry the update took so long. Writer's block sucks so badly. (Damn the sensation that opposes all writing with a vengeance!!) Oh my god, thank you so much reviewers: Love you all! Response:

SetosBlueDragon: First of all, I love what you changed your penname to. It's just awesome! Second I worked extremely hard getting the essence of Kaiba's blindness and his new aspect on life, (you're right he is the best character of Yu-Gi-Oh, no ifs ands or buts about it!-). I did well? YAY!! Thanks!! Kaiba is soft…whoops…I did not mean for him to be…sorry. This is the future part: ENJOY KIND READER!! I loved hearing from you, thank you so much! Oh and sorry it took so long for me to update….like I said: writer's block.

Xaio23: laugh Well, of COURSE Kaiba could protect himself, silly! No, seriously, though, Joey was in an evil gang, yes….wasn't he in the manga? Oh well. I think that's cool don't you?

BlackCharmGirl: Thanks for reviewing! I loved hearing from you again! I tried to make it brutal…yet sweet, (I know that makes no sense, but…). Yes Joey and Seto are friends now. I had to come up with something drastic to make them friends, but it worked out in the end. And, yes, Kaiba is a skinny blind guy. But let us not forget: He's MY skinny blind guy-!

Kidishcaresh: Welcome! Please review this chapter, need to hear your opinion!

CaptainInuYasha777: goes to hug Kaiba with you

Elusia: Kaiba kicks ass wherever he goes, don't you think? LOL Thanks for reviewing! Please continue!

EruditeBountyHunter: I tried to make that sentence wrap up the meaning of the gang scene….like they were friends now and stuff……tell me it worked. I wasn't sure so….thanks for reviewing! Could you let me know what you think of this chapter?

Ninge: Yeah, I know…you're probably thinking, "This girl, talking to me again?!" Sorry! But I just wanted to thank you for reviewing in between updating To Truly See. So thanks!! I appreciate it!!

Setalina Muro: I thank you for your review!!! Hope you liked it!! Yeah, Serenity's cat really was cute, wasn't it? Awww….. I'm really trying with the blindness portrayal. Glad I'm doing a good job!! Thanks again and please review! (Sorry it took so long…)

Disclaimer: Has it occurred to anyone yet that I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh?

Chapter 16: What's It Like?

Memories of the car accident flooded back to me in a rush. "Kaiba? What's it like to be blind?" was the question asked when—no, I should retell this from before that part. I guess you need some background.

The speed of the car wasn't so nauseating this time. I don't know if it was because I had gotten some violence out of my system—the blood from which I still had on my trench coat—or because I was just getting used to it.

"Do you know how to get back to the shop from here, Wheeler?" I asked, a little unsure myself.

His voice answered from somewhere in the dark next to me with confidence, "Yep—see, it's just this turn right here." The car lurched to the right and he emphasized the fact that he knew which way we were going again.

"Good, then." I planned for a silent car ride, but was not indulged.

I had forgotten the whole reason Wheeler and I had gone on this little escapade into gang-hell; it was to talk about Serenity and I. Why had we lost track of that thought? (Oh, it was somewhere between getting lost and beating up a gang, I suppose.) Sometimes there was just too much to sort out and one subconsciously procrastinates in talking about it out loud. I suppose that's what Wheeler and I did.

We were silent for a while, actually, before Wheeler said, "Nice night," suddenly.

"Looking for a kiss?" I asked sarcastically.

"What—no!" Poor flustered Wheeler jumped back away from me in his surprise. "God, Kaiba…no…..it was a conversation starter." I was contributing, wasn't I? I said nothing in defense or response to him. "Don't you know anything about conversation?" he demanded.

"Actually, I know remarkably little."

"Oh, yeah, that's right; you spend all your time with computers and business…" I could feel the sneer plastered across his face mocking me. Useless.

"Well," I said, smiling myself. "Not all my time…anymore, I mean." He knew what I meant, I think.

"Hey. Hey, come on, hey."

"Hey what?" I asked.

"You didn't touch her, did you?" At this, the laughter burned within me. But I had to control it to seem even remotely sane—(at that time, I thought my show of violence with the gang hadn't helped me picture any. It hadn't).

"Wheeler," I said, the smallest hint of my hysteria burning through. "Sometimes when two people love each other very, very much…." I struggled to remain indifferent.

"You didn't," Wheeler said flatly.

"Why the hell do you care?"

"Because she's my sister!"

"You don't own her!" He didn't. Why couldn't he see that Serenity was not as young as Wheeler thought?

I thought back to that day when I beat Wheeler in the duel, (ok….that was a lot of times…well, the most recent one). He was all pissed off because Serenity had neglected to tell him that she had talked to me about my life once before. I don't know why, but that seemed a little possessive of him now—childish, even. Why had this not occurred to me before? I guess because I had seen, (figuratively, of course), another side of Serenity that Wheeler had not. Damn, I thought. How could I explain that to him? It barely made sense to me.

Wheeler was quiet, though. I fancied he was thinking about what I had said, but he was not. "Serenity is my little sister," he told me, unnecessarily. I already knew that. "I'm supposed to be taking care of her, you know how that is, right? You have a little brother…Mokuba."

If all the truth was told, (thank God it was not, however, but if it was), I would have had to say that most of the time I let Mokuba do whatever the hell he wanted as long as he left me alone while I was working. He didn't even have to go to school if he didn't want to.

But the whole truth was not told so instead of saying this I said, "Mokuba is free to do what he wants when I let him." (Which was all the time, as I just said.)

"So is Serenity." I had to say that there was a small hint of grief in his voice. I wondered why.

"Not much, it seems." A thought came to me, what were we talking about? For no reason at all I put my head in my hands and said, "Look, Wheeler, don't be possessive over your little sister."

"I'm not being possessive!" he actually yelled then.

"Oh? Well, just sitting here listening to you makes me sick, you know that?" I had decided that the only way to get through to Wheeler was to be truthful—blunt.

"Yeah, well I really don't care what you think, alright?"

It occurred to me that maybe I had hit a bad spot in Wheeler's life. "Not alright. What's with you and this? Just get over your damned self." This was all happening so fast….it seemed the speed of the car had increased along with the flow of the "conversation". Why were we yelling at each other?

"…..Why does it make you sick, Kaiba?"

I tried to be tactful. "You think you own her life because you want to protect her? Well, you can't. Trust me. One day you think you have everything under control and then you just don't, ok? If you let yourself think your too much in control it only makes it harder to get over the realization. It slaps you, Wheeler, and it hurts a damn lot. Life plays to be nasty. Covering up your sister doesn't help, even though you think it does. So—for goddamn's sake—just GET OVER IT!"

Tactful never was one of my virtues.

What had just happened there? One minute we were talking about the night…..the next I was yelling at him. Was I even talking about Serenity there? Or was I telling him some deep distant thought I had had in the events just after the accident that resurfaced suddenly? Why? What had Wheeler said—there was too much to sort out. Subconsciously, I procrastinated.

There was to be no more talking in Wheeler's car that nice night. I had silenced the both of us.

An unspoken decision was made to neglect telling the others of anything that had happened in the car. What they didn't know couldn't hurt them, right? Plus, I hated to think of the way the night would turn if we started out like, "Well, Wheeler got us involved in a gang fight and then I totally lost my entire goddamn mind in the car on the way back. I'm still trying to collect myself from that, by the way, but how was the tea?" Yeah…no.

Wheeler stopped the car in relatively the same place as when we had left, (I felt as soon as I stepped on the concrete—it felt familiar). He got out of the car almost as soon as he killed the car and did not help me out. I didn't really need his help, but it took longer for me to find the door handle by touch-and-feel. Time consuming, but not horrible.

I walked out of the car and felt around with my cane. Wheeler opened the door to the game shop and entered. I heard the hum of voices inside rise upon his entering, (saying things like, "Hey, man! Where's Kaiba?"). That helped me a good deal, for I did not have the façade of Yugi's house memorized. I had to walk along the lawn and I think I crushed some flowers with my cane on my way to the door, but the voices were my guide and following them I ended up inside relatively quickly.

When the door opened, I heard Serenity practically fly over to me. She gave me a hug and quick kiss. With a tiny whisper in my ear she said, "Thank you," and lead my inside.

"Hi, Seto! Have fun?" Mokuba's tiny voice floated around the room in short, excited bursts. I thought, guiltily, about my letting Mokuba run-amok.

"Hi, Mokuba," was my only response. Serenity lead me down to the chair. I felt the presence of all the people that were in the house. I heard their quiet breathing and discomfort in the silence, (reminding myself involuntarily of the gentle hum that had been going on before I entered). It was all caused by me, but I did not feel any guilt.

"So, umm, where did you guys, like, go?" Téa began, unintelligently.

"Nowhere…" Wheeler said quickly.

All other futile attempts at conversation were met with distant replies and soon ceased entirely.

"Well, it really is getting late—isn't tomorrow a school day?" Yugi's grandfather tried after about ten agonizing minutes of silence. Yes! Go the hell way! Yes!

"Oh, yeah! Serenity are you coming with us tomorrow?" Mai asked. Was she? I had stupidly forgotten that Serenity did have to go to school.

"Yeah. I will."

"Why don't you come home with me then, Serenity?" Wheeler asked. I was afraid of that. "It'll be easier to go to school."

I did not protest, even though I was sure I would have had this been two months ago, (that's all it had been since the accident, only two months. It seemed longer, with all the time Lock and I had spent together, but it was not). Serenity had to decide for herself, I would not own her.

Carelessly, (you had to really know Serenity to know that she was faking the confidence, which she was), she said, "No thanks, Joey. I have a ride for tomorrow." But she didn't have one. I said before that I had stopped using my limo since Rollin died, and she would have had to walk. I was confused, but I guess she really did not want to go with Wheeler.

"Oh, ok. In a limo, I guess, right?" Wheeler's grief returned in his voice.

"Nope, I'll just—.." But I never heard what Serenity would just, because right then Yugi asked, "Hey Kaiba? Where did you get that stain on your trench coat?" Damn! I had forgotten…stupid.

Acting dumb, I said, "What stain?" I heard Wheeler curse under his breath.

"It's like red….and stuff."

"Is that blood?" Mai asked.

"It most certainly is not!" Wheeler shouted, the grief gone from his voice.

"It is isn't it?" Serenity knew Wheeler. But then he was easy to read. He practically told them it was blood by his sudden shouting.

"Yep, it is," I said. The laughter that was suppressed in me from before was felt again. I tried to hide it once more. There were a few gasps from Yugi's crowd and Joey cursed again, more loudly this time. Yugi's grandfather was saying things like, "Where did that come from?" in a tired, shocked voice. "Did you get that on your ride with Joey?"

The only people who were not affected by this piece of news were Serenity, Mokuba, myself, (obviously), and Serenity's cat—who had made her presence known by plopping down lazily as soon as I sat. They actually laughed, (well the cat didn't do anything, but they laughed along with me).

Our laughter, (mine was insane, actually), exploded throughout the room. It was unsynchronized and weird, but it really was funny. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Over and again. Serenity giggled her school-girl laugh and Mokuba chuckled hard. I just totally belted. The laughter that was caught up in me just got the better of me.

"Umm….what are you guys laughing at?" Tristan asked. I think he had begun smirking as well, (it probably was infectious). What were we laughing at, anyway?

"I don't know," Mokuba said. "But it was really funny."

"Yeah," I said. "It was." Serenity was still giggling lightly, but she said, "Hmm….sorry guys."

"It's ok!" Yugi was laughing a little when he said this. "I've never seen Kaiba laugh like that before."

I just realized my mistake. I had let my guard down. Dammit.

"Yeah, well Kaiba has kind of changed," Mai said. "I noticed it when you walked in. There was just something different about you."

"I'm blind." I just stated it bluntly. I had gotten used to the embarrassment, (shame?), of admitting it, so I just did it naturally.

"Well, yeah, but there's something else. I don't know…."

"Yeah, you're, like, nicer now," Tristan said.

"I like the change in you, Kaiba," Yugi said. Now I was really confused. Wasn't he the one telling me what an ass I was when we were sitting here before hand? I remembered him saying, "Do you understand that at all, Kaiba?" "No." "I didn't think so." Why had he changed his mind?

I was about to mention this when he said, "Even though you still are a jerk….at least you're a nice jerk."

I squinted my poor eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Serenity said. "That's just like you, Seto. Just like the fact that you have blood on your trench coat and you're just wearing it like it's normal or something…" she began giggling horrendously at the end, again.

"What…am…I…missing?" Confusion did not taste very good in my mouth.

"We're still friends, Kaiba."

"We never were friends, Yugi."

"Yes we were. That's why I visited you in the hospital that time, Seto. I wanted you to realize that, but….you didn't. Oh well. It doesn't matter. Just forget about it, ok?"

"Wait, forget about what? What are you talking about?"

Some impatient sighs sounded. What the hell? "Why always me?" I asked. Some people laughed. I was so confused, (as I'm sure you are, right now, as I tell you this).

"Because you're special, Seto," Serenity put her arm around me and kissed me. I raised an eyebrow and said, "It's good to be special, I suppose." I hadn't meant to be funny, but somehow they all laughed—even Joey.

Once silence reigned again, I was left with the events of the night in my head. Memories of the car accident flooded back to me in a rush for the same inexplicable reason as before.

Suddenly, Joey asked, "Kaiba, what's it like to be blind?" Everyone got even quieter.

How to answer this? What was it like to be blind to a person who could see? I mean, how could you describe to them the feeling….

"There's no short or simple answer to that question, Wheeler."

"Then give us the long version," Téa said. I wondered why Serenity was not answering, (after all, didn't she know?). But just like I had given her the space with Wheeler, she gave me the space with this question.

"Well, it's like being trapped sometimes, Wheeler. You're in the dark, after all. No one's there with you. Shadows are cast in your mind as you think you are all alone, even when you're not.

"But sometimes it's like being at peace. Nothing's in front of you. I mean it takes a while to feel like this, but you feel it…eventually.

"And there are times when you feel dead. After all, you can't see anything so what is life? The trapped feeling because hard and, you just don't want to consider things, anymore." I let myself go. "But for me, being blind is life. So, yes, it's hard, but like all other things, you have to live with it. Start over with it."

"That was a good answer, Kaiba," Wheeler said.

"Well, we better be going," Serenity said after a moment's silence. "It's way past Mokuba's bedtime."

"I'm not tired!" Mokuba protested. As if on cue, he yawned heartily.

I smiled and said, "Good-bye." The farewells were said and then we left just as we came in—together.

They never did ask me where I had gotten the blood from. Unless Wheeler told them, I don't think they ever knew.

After we had successfully brought Mokuba to bed, (quite an easy task, I promised to hold up his bedtime maybe a little stronger to attempt some kind of discipline), Serenity and I lay in bed together.

"That was weird," I said.

"It was cool! I liked your description of being blind. It was true—pure truth."

"You thought so?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, I guess you would know, eh?"

"Oh yeah."

Fricky was lying in between Serenity and I as if she had lain there all her life. I smoothed her fur lightly and said, "Speaking of speeches, the Stage Awards are coming up."

"And what are those?" She asked sleepily.

Not wanting to disturb her sleep pattern, I said, "Nothing, Serenity. Just sleep." I felt around for her face and when I found it, I stroke it gently until her breathing smoothed out in sleep.

However, the awards were actually not nothing. They were something. And that's where my story ends.