Duo POV

Something poked at my arm, bringing me back form the warm, comfortable sleep I had been in.

"Duo," I recognized Heero's voice, "Duo, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Hmm? Go on..." I moaned, loosening my hold on him so he could get up. His arms were suddenly clasped around me very, very tightly and I gasped, coming fully awake. I looked down at his form pulled tightly against me and the memories came flooding back.

It took me a second to get my head around everything that had happened and when I came back to myself I was sitting up in the bed with Heero sniffling quietly, his head resting on my knees.

"I-I don't have to go that badly," he sniffled and I smiled sadly. Heero's bladder was probably about to burst for him to ask me, especially in this condition.

"Come on," I told him gently, "I'll take you."

Heero had a death-grip on my hand as I led him to the bathroom, like he thought I'd run away as soon as I got the chance or something. It was only a few steps until I stopped in front of the bathroom door.

"Go on, I'll wait right out here for you."

Heero still looked hesitant, keeping his eyes on the floor and a grip on my hand.

"Heero?" I asked after a few minutes of him remaining.

"Y-you'll wait right here?" he asked, sounding meek and uncertain. Damn, this was going to take a bit of getting used to.

"Of course. I promise, I won't move."

Reluctantly, Heero let go of my hand and went into the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click. It was about twenty seconds before a I heard two hasty steps and the door was thrown open again, a very frightened looking Heero standing in the door way.

"Heero? What's wrong?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I knew. Heero looked sheepishly at me, his fear fading for the moment.

"I-I thought I heard you move."

"I'm not going anywhere," I told him and he receded back into the room, again closing the door with a soft click. It was another twenty seconds before I heard a hesitant, "Duo?" from behind the door.

"I'm right here," I called and continued to call every twenty to thirty seconds. It seemed like everything was going fine, until I heard Heero call a shrill and panicked, "Duo!" from inside the room.

I was through the door without a second thought. Heero was sitting in the corner again, knees drawn up to his chest, shaking like a leaf.

"What's wrong?" I asked, bending down with an unnerving sense of dei-ja-vou.

"I-I'm sorry. I c-can't stand it! The walls are crawling with bugs and vermin! I can't stand it! It won't come clean! There are skeletons on the floor and they move when I come near them and..."

Shit! The hallucinogen! I totally forgot that Heero would have hallucinations.

"Shh. It's ok, it's alright."

"Sorry. I'm a pain. You should just let me die."

"I won't let you die, now stop it. You have to be brave, you have to ignore all of it. Just don't even look at it. Come on."

I pulled Heero to his feet, but he wasn't able to ignore the visions. As we walked across the bathroom he would suddenly jump to avoid something or swerve around nothing so he didn't have to step on it. He looked around the room, his eyes darting from place to place. By the time we had traveled the few feet across the bathroom, Heero's fingers were about to puncture a hole right through my skin. I didn't dare say anything, Heero seemed like he was about to break down and start crying again and I didn't want that.

Heero stopped in front of the toilet and, to my utter mortification, didn't even realize, or didn't care, that he hadn't let me go. I averted my eyes and ignored it, we had already seen how badly Heero reacted when he wasn't in skin to skin contact with me. I was really trying to count every leaf on the potted fern in the corner when Heero made the squeaking noise he makes when he's in distress and attempted to back up. He couldn't, since I was right behind him, but it was difficult to see what could make Heero so afraid of a toilet.

"Duo, we have to leave. I can't...it's them!"

"Who?"

"Them! The ones that... they made me... D-Dekim and Barton and I can feel them..."

Shit! The rape. Dammit, no wonder Heero was petrified, having his groin uncovered, even with something as simple as going to the bathroom, must have been terrifying mixed with the drug induced hallucinations.

All I could do was put my arms around Heero's shoulders, put my face right next to his, keeping my eyes closed of course, and hope that the close proximity helped as it had before.

"J-just ignore it Heero. Just pretend it's not there."

God, I felt so helpless.

By the time Heero was finished he was shaking so much that couldn't even get his pants back up. I had to do it for him, but I was passed the point where I could let modesty get in my way. The moment he was fully covered, Heero turned around in my arms and latched onto my neck, the water-works going full blast. Knowing that he needed me to be strong for him was all that kept me from breaking down myself.

All I could do was pick Heero up and carry him back to the bed. I held him and rubbed his back, talking to him in soft tones until sleep claimed him and even after.

It wasn't long before I heard hushed voices outside my room, but I didn't want to move in case Heero woke up and waking him up wasn't even an option. I didn't have to worry about it long, though, the door opened just a crack and Sally peeked in. I nodded and waved her over, she came in and closed the door barely making a sound. When she spoke, it was in hushed tones.

"Duo, did you get him to drink anything yet?" she whispered and I could only shake my head. "Has he gone to the bathroom lately?" she asked and I felt a deep, belated blush rising to my cheeks. Sally laughed, but managed to keep it quiet. "Don't be embarrassed. Heero's helpless right now with the hallucinations you'll have to help him with just about everything. For now, let's get him to drink something. I'll be back at the twelve hour mark to get another blood sample so I can be sure the toxin is making its way out of his blood."

She then disappeared out into the hallway and came back just a few seconds later with a large glass of water. She set it on the night-stand, then leaned over and gingerly placed her fingers on Heero's forehead.

"For now, just keep him calm and get him to drink something. Be careful he doesn't develop a fever," she told me, then she left. I sighed, the loudest sound I dared to make around the sedately sleeping Heero. Why him? Why did all these bad things have to happen to Heero? And why now, when everything was just starting to look up? And why the hell would he leave the room when he knew what happened last time? I had seen the door, no one had forced their way into the room. Heero had left of his own free will. Why?

Questions encircled my brain, but I put them aside, knowing that finding the answers to the questions would scare Heero, just like everything else.

Heero woke up about an hour later. I was just beginning to toy with the idea of waking him up, since he needed to get some fluids, when his eyelids fluttered and he sat up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you," Heero apologized.

"Don't worry about it, I'm glad you got some sleep. It gave me time to admire you," I half teased. Heero gave me a weird look.

"Why would you want to do that?" he asked.

"Because your beautiful," I told him. I could tell that he didn't believe me, but I didn't want to push the subject. Not yet, anyway. His mind seemed to be a bit clearer, but I wasn't about to push my luck. "Heero, I want you to drink this. Then maybe in a bit we can go get something to eat, it's almost morning."

I reached out and took the glass from the night-stand, moving myself closer to Heero. Heero looked at the glass in my hand with horror written all over his face.

"Duo, I can't drink that," he told me, surprise and disgust in his eyes.

"Why not?"

"I-it's slime! I wont drink it! I won't!" he told me, his voice rising as he backed into the headboard.

"Heero..." What was I supposed to say? How could I tell him that everything he saw, smelled, tasted, or felt was wrong? How could I convince him that this was all an illusion, a petty trick? I had to get him to drink for his health, but what about his mind?

"Heero, you have to drink it. It... It's like medicine. It looks gross and nasty, but it's good for you."

"I won't Duo, no! That's stuff's vile! It's probably toxic!"

"It is not! Heero, you don't have a choice. You have to do this, please, for me."

"Duo... no. I-I can't. I won't. You can't make me!"

"Heero, if you don't drink it I'll... I'll leave!"

We were both silent for a moment, Heero's horror stricken eyes locked onto mine. The color drained from his face and he began to shake. God, what kind of a monster was I?

"Ok," he said quietly, "Ok, I'll do it. Just-just don't leave me alone."

Slowly, Heero took the glass from my hands. He stared at it like it was going to crawl up and bite him for a moment, then shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and chugged the whole thing. I knew it wasn't a good idea for him to drink so fast, but if it looked and tasted like slime to him I knew that he probably wouldn't be able to drink it any slower. Some of it dribbled out the sides of his mouth. Heero finally finished, dropping the glass on the bed. I grabbed him as he hunched over, visibly fighting not to get sick. I held him as he tried to keep from retching, putting the cup aside and laying him down when I was certain he wouldn't throw up.

He was crying again, like he was trying to make up for all the tears he hadn't shed before. I wiped the excess water that had dribbled from the glass off his face along with his tears. I held him and rocked him and finally got him to go back to sleep.

It was barely morning.

It wasn't even an hour after Heero had gone to sleep before I noticed that his temperature was up and his breathing sounded a bit funny. I cursed under my breath and decided to wake Heero then go get Sally.

"Heero, wake up babe," I called gently. Sleepy blue eyes opened and looked up at me. "Hey babe, how ya feelin?"

"I'm fine," he told me in a raspy voice that told me he was not fine. His voice was hoarse from all that screaming yesterday, he had bags under his eyes even though he had slept most of the night, and he had a fever.

"Heero, I'm going to go get Sally, okay? Stay right here," I told him and moved to get off the bed. I was pretty sure he wouldn't let me just walk off, so I wasn't surprised when he grabbed my hand. I turned back and smiled at him.

"Don't worry, I'm just going to the door, you'll be able to see me the whole time."

I know the kind of trust it took for Heero to let go of me. Although I wished that he would trust me not to run off at all, his trust still touched me in the way only Heero could.

I walked to the door and opened it, Heero fidgeting on the bed behind me. As I hoped, there was a servant in the hall watching the door. I barely had to get the words, "Go get Sally," out of my mouth and he was already down the hall.

It was only a second before Sally was there and I had to wonder why everyone was on such high alert. What, did they think Heero would wig out and try and kill me or something? Unfortunately, the more I thought about the surer I became that they had thought exactly that.

"Duo? Is something wrong?" Sally asked quietly, out of earshot of Heero.

"No, but Heero's got a fever and he's hoarse. Is there anything you can do about that?" I asked just as quietly. Most likely, Heero thought Sally was some kind of three headed monster and was trying to get me to kill him, I didn't want to try and add to that fear.

"Of course, silly," Sally told me smiling as she pulled a red bottle of cough syrup and a spoon out of her satchel.

"Man, you just come prepared for everything, don't you?"I teased.

"Of course. I am a doctor, after all."

And then all the teasing was over. We both knew what a hassle it was going to be to get Heero to take the medicine.

I went over to the bed first, pulling Heero into my lap so he couldn't bolt. Heero latched onto me like he always did. Sally came over and stood by the bed, then poured the medicine into a spoon.

"Heero, I need you to take some more medicine," I told him softly. It probably seemed like I was trying to torture poor Heero, but I couldn't help it. I could tell Heero was more distressed by this situation than the last one.

"Duo I can't! I won't do it! I-it's blood! I can't drink blood! Please don't make me!" he cried, burying his head in my shirt. Of course the medicine had to be red, they couldn't make it blue or purple or anything.

I knew this time that Heero wouldn't willingly take it no matter what I said, so I signaled Sally and wrapped my legs around Heero. As quickly and gently as I could, I grabbed Heero's face and turned him around. Heero gave a gasp and Sally wasted no time forcing the medicine into Heero's mouth. He choked and sputtered, but most of the medicine went down. I released him as soon as Sally had given him the medicine, allowing him to turn around and bury into my chest as hard sobs wracked his small body. Sally, put the spoon and medicine on the night-stand, then refilled the glass and left it there too.

"Duo, in two hours I'll have to come take blood from Heero to make sure there aren't any side-effects of the drug," she told me softly. Heero shuddered as she spoke, but seemed to calm a bit after she left.

I think I started talking to Heero about making plans to reassure myself more than him. I'm not afraid to admit it. I was scared. I was so afraid that I would lose Heero, that this terrified child would never give way to the strong, independent person Heero had been. I knew that what Heero was showing now was a part of him, a part that had never been properly nurtured, and I was glad I was able to see it. To reassure the child Heero had never been. To watch Heero show fear and all the other emotions that he normally couldn't. But I didn't want Heero trapped in that dark, demonic world of horror forever. I wanted to be able to show him the good things in life. On some level, I was afraid I'd never get the chance.

"Heero?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember that waterfall I told you about earlier?"

"Yes."

"Once this is all over I'm going to take you to see it. We'll spend the whole day just looking at the waterfall and swimming at the bottom of it."

"...Promise?"

"I promise."

Slowly, tired by the recent events and the drugs, Heero slipped back to sleep, cradled in my arms.