~~Adventures in Babysitting~~
1245 Local (Tuesday)
Roberts' Residence
"Come on, Sweetie, Mac will be here soon!" Bud called to his wife upstairs, who, in his opinion, was taking longer to get ready than needed.
"I'll be down in a minute." Harriet replied to him. She had quickly changed out of her uniform into more casual attire for Bud's doctor appointment. She wanted to be completely ready before Mac arrived. It had been killing her since last Thursday to call and ask what was going on with her and Harm. She had heard through the grapevine that the Admiral had sent them to counseling because of their inability to get along. They should have gone for counseling years ago, Harriet thought, especially if it meant getting those two together.
For as much as the appointment change was an inconvenience, it was a good excuse to get Mac over and hopefully dish about what's been going on. Ever since the housewarming party she had longed to have a heart to heart with Mac. But knowing her friend as well as she does, she knew that pushing her into a conversation she didn't want to have could be disastrous. She had decided she would ease into it gently, giving Mac an open door to talk about her situation with Harm.
Harriet heard the doorbell ring and knew, without asking, that Mac had arrived. She hurried down the stairs, hoping to get a few subtle questions in before they had to leave. Mac was already in the kitchen talking to Bud and little AJ when she came downstairs.
"Thank you so much for watching AJ." Harriet said, motioning for Mac to follow her into the foyer. This was her chance for subtle question number one and dammit she was going to ask it.
"It's no problem Harriet," Mac replied, following her friend to the hall closet so she could retrieve her coat.
Carefully broaching the subject, Harriet asked, "So, how are things?"
Mac had an idea that Harriet would try to find out what's going on, and that it wouldn't take long for the 20 questions to begin. Deciding to play clueless, she responded, "What things, Harriet?"
"You know, THINGS!" Harriet whispered, but with emphasis on "things", hoping Mac would catch on.
Mac had wanted to avoid going "there" today. All she wanted was to have a day when she didn't have to talk about her problems with anyone, including her friends. It wasn't that she was being mean; she just wanted some normalcy back in her life. As she was about to tell Harriet that she'd rather not discuss it, Bud came into the foyer, followed by little AJ.
"Harriet let's go! I don't want to be late. You know there's road construction and the traffic will be heavy," Bud said, interrupting them and grabbing Harriet by the arm. He knew she was up to something and wanted to squelch her nosiness before it caused trouble.
Annoyed, Harriet shot Bud a look and then said to Mac quietly, "We can talk when we get back, OK?"
Smiling, Mac nodded her head, grateful for Bud's common sense for wanting to leave early.
"AJ, you be good for Aunt Mac, OK?" Harriet said, hugging her son and kissing his cheek, "Mommy and Daddy will be back soon."
"He'll be fine, Harriet. You better get going before you're late," Mac said quickly ushering her out the door without shutting it. She and AJ watched as the van with his parents pulled away from the house and headed on its way. She breathed a sigh of relief and hoped her own departure would be swift as well-she'd do anything to avoid the discussion of Harm's and her predicament. Looking at the little boy, she was glad he was too young to understand what was going on and ask those questions his mother had become so adept at.
Taking little AJ's hand and going into the family room, Mac asked, "So, big guy, what do you want to do first?"
Same Time
Harm's apartment
Harm cursed the day Webb had left that TV in his apartment. Since he'd been on leave he had found it to be quite the distraction. Being able to watch the news whenever he wanted was great in the beginning, but soon the novelty wore thin. The only thing he found remotely amusing was the O'Reilly Factor. And that was the other thing-the remote. He finally understood the attraction to the little push button thing-he didn't have to move from the sofa. He also realized that daytime TV sucked. With the exception of a little gem of a network called the SPEED Channel, there really was nothing to watch. He actually spent the last 10 minutes surfing, just trying to find something worth wasting the time on. Some of those court TV shows were just too painful to watch. And the soaps, well, enough said.
Glancing over at his bookshelf, Harm briefly entertained reading something. But other than his reference books and some journals, he really didn't have anything entertaining there. To tell the truth, if he wasn't reading to do research for a case, he really didn't read all that much. He had started reading one of those military scenario books, but he couldn't stop dissecting all the technical details. After a while, it wasn't even worth reading just for the distraction. He wasn't a history buff like Sturgis. In fact, some of the books he had loaned Harm were collecting dust in the bedroom. It was on his to-do list, he just didn't get around to it. He wished he was like Mac-able to read two or three books at a time. He smiled as he remembered tearing her books in half while they were on the Seahawk as she attempted to pack them before leaving on the COD. Even though that occurred moments before they got word of Bud's injury, it was still a pleasant memory.
He couldn't help but have Mac on his mind. He wondered for the millionth time what she was doing. Calling her was out of the question, especially after his little "breaking and entering" routine from last night. He smiled amusedly remembering the sight of her in her robe-and the shocked look on her face. At least in the midst of his frustration he was able to find some humor-but only after the fact. Hope she doesn't ask me to turn over the emergency key, Harm thought, only slightly worried.
Switching gears, he thought of the appointment with Maddie tomorrow. He was sure she had called Mac by now to set up their next session. If Mac had changed her mind or refused, Maddie would have let him know-at least he hoped so. The prospect of going through counseling alone was far from appealing. Despite the fact that he initially hated the idea, it seemed like it was helping to get a lot out into the open, painful as it was.
Deciding he was bored, Harm gave up on the channel surfing, clicked off the TV and then took the batteries out of the remote. Damned if he'd get addicted again. He wondered what else there was to do; an idea crossed his mind-why not visit Bud and little AJ? With Harriet still at work, they could get some guy-time in. He gave thought to calling first, but had decided against it, knowing Bud usually didn't go anywhere by himself. Harm quickly showered and changed before driving off to the Roberts'.
1330 Local
Roberts' Residence
Bud and Harriet had been gone for 33 minutes and little AJ was already tiring out Mac. Asking a three and a half year old what he wanted to do was a big mistake. With the swiftness of a gazelle, AJ had the Lego's out, along with his Brio' figurines, and ink from markers on his hands-"God knows when THAT happened," sighed Mac. In an attempt to slow him down, Mac put him at the kitchen table with his Play-doh. She wondered when the situation had gotten out of control. The house was beginning to look like FAO Schwartz at Christmas. She hoped that at some point his batteries would run down so she'd be able to straighten up before Bud and Harriet returned. She didn't want them to know that their son got the upper hand on his Godmother.
In the midst trying to fix the Fuzzy-Pumper guy, the doorbell rang. Before Mac could even get out of the kitchen, AJ had run to the door and answered it.
"Uncle Harm!" the little boy shrieked with merriment, as his Godfather lifted him up like an airplane.
Mac spun around to see Harm walking through the hallway from the foyer to the kitchen with little AJ up over his shoulders. She silently wondered if Harriet had set all this up-otherwise why would he have shown up unannounced. Trying to act coolly, Mac continued to tidy up the table with the Play-doh on it.
Harm walked into the kitchen and set the little boy down in the chair at the table. At first he was afraid to say anything, but realized avoidance would only make it worse. "Hi, Mac," he said evenly, "I had no idea you'd be here today."
"Um, Bud's appointment got changed and the sitter wasn't available. Harriet asked me to watch him." Mac replied without meeting his gaze. This was the last place she expected to run into Harm. She was a little nervous. Considering the way counseling had gone on Monday, she wasn't sure what to expect from him, or what he expected from her.
"Looks like you've got your hands full with the little guy," Harm said admiring one of AJ's creations. "You two have been busy."
"He is definitely a busy boy," Mac said awkwardly, at a loss for what to say to Harm.
This wasn't Maddie's office-she couldn't exactly run away. And it wasn't her apartment-if she asked Harm to leave, little AJ would be upset.
Harm noticed her discomfort, knowing he was probably the reason for it. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for keeping things from her, but knew this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it. Deciding to keep the past in the past, at least for today, he said, "Look, why don't you take him upstairs and clean him up, I'll straighten up down here."
Mac was surprised by his gesture, but appreciative nonetheless. Accepting his offer as it was meant, she said "Um, sure Harm. Thanks," with the slightest hint of a smile.
Picking AJ up and carrying him upstairs Mac said, "Come on, big guy. Let's go wash you up. Once we're nice and clean, we can have a snack. OK?"
Harm smiled at the sight. He missed spending time with Mac. Although things were a mess right now, he hoped they could eventually get back what they had. The thought of losing Mac to his own stupidity hurt more than he ever imagined. He had to make her understand his motives for not being honest about his feelings for her. But, it would have to wait for a more opportune moment.
While Mac was upstairs with AJ, Harm made quick work of cleaning up the toys, unsure what time Bud and Harriet planned on returning. He didn't want their house looking like a battle zone. Amazing how one small child could turn a house upside down, he chuckled to himself. Contemplating their present dilemma he said aloud, "Amazing how one statement turned our world upside down."
It didn't take Mac long to wash up little AJ. Thankfully the ink from the markers he had on his little fingers was the washable kind. As she descended the staircase carrying him, Harm met her at the bottom and offered to take the boy from her. She obliged, as he wasn't as light as he used to be when he was a baby. Mac watched as he carried him into the family room. Before all the conflict came into play, Mac had often wondered what kind of a father Harm would be, if they ever got together. Watching him with little AJ, she felt like she was getting a glimpse into the future. Unseen, she smiled sweetly at the scene-more of a "if only" kind of expression than one of joy. Reclaiming their friendship had priority at the moment.
The child's laughter broke the spell she was under, reminding Mac that she had promised the little boy a snack. Heading toward the kitchen, she knew Harriet didn't like him to have too many sweets, so she retrieved some fruit and prepared a plate that they all could enjoy. Walking back into the family room, she enjoyed the sight of Harm sitting in the recliner with AJ on his lap, reading him a story. Despite the pleasantness of the scene Mac couldn't help but still feel the heartache from their encounter on Monday. So far Harm hadn't broached the subject, and she wasn't sure if he would. He seemed content being with his Godson and that was good enough for her too. This had become a neutral ground where they could spend time together without snipping at one another.
Little AJ noticed Mac before Harm did and squealed with delight at the sight of his snack. Mac set the plate down on the coffee table in front of Harm and AJ. Feeling a little ill at ease in Harm's presence, Mac began to walk out of the room to find something else to occupy her time.
"Don't go, Mac," Harm said softly, wanting her to stay, yet not wanting her to feel pressured to be with him either. He silently wished he could make all the pain go away with a wave of his hand, and give them happier times. But he was no magician. If they wanted to get back what they had and move their relationship in a new direction, they would have to work at it. And seeing how agonized she was over what had transpired between them, Harm was all the more eager to do what was needed to make it work.
Mac stopped her retreat from the room and turned slowly to meet Harm's gaze. The gentleness of his voice and the softness of his expression told her that he had no intention of revisiting their "issues" from Monday. For that fact she was relieved. They still had the demons of their past to conquer-but not today. However, she still felt oddly uncomfortable in his presence. Was it because some of the residual hurt from his revelation? Or, was it because she finally knew how he felt when she was about to marry Mic? She felt confused by her feelings and having Harm right in front of her surely didn't help matters. His mere presence often distracted her as her heart took over where her brain should be.
Harm watched her carefully. He could sense her conflicting emotions and didn't want to push her into something that she wasn't ready for. Wondering if it were best if he left, for both their sakes, he glanced at his watch and said, "I really should be going." He stood up from the chair and began to cross the room to leave. He knew that running away, for as appealing as it is, doesn't solve anything, but sometimes it's the only recourse.
Now more than ever Mac was unsure of how to handle the situation. Avoiding the discussion was one thing, but avoiding each other was clearly a different ballgame. She missed him-she missed her best friend-despite the tension and the lost opportunities. Yes, she was angry he waited so long to tell her his feelings. And, yes, she didn't want to talk about it, at least today. But, she didn't want him to leave, nonetheless. And it was obvious he was leaving to spare her feelings.
The room was silent except for little AJ munching on his apple. Mac finally found the strength to meet Harm's gaze. She quietly said, "You don't have to leave."
"Are you sure you're OK with me being here?" Harm asked gently.
Her knees were slightly weak as she answered him, "Yes."
Harm smiled at her softly. He then looked at AJ and tousled his hair, "So what do you want to do first, AJ?" he asked. Mac rolled her eyes-that's what got me into trouble in the first place, she thought.
"How about watching a movie instead?" she offered, trying to dissuade Harm and AJ from creating another flood of toys in the family room.
"Yippee!" AJ exclaimed, running to the shelves to pick something out that Mac was certain he had watched a hundred times. The little boy quickly selected "The Lion King" and handed the movie to Harm. He then ran to get settled with Mac on the sofa. Harm started the movie and then joined them, sitting so that AJ was between him and Mac.
The music swelled as the movie began causing AJ to wriggle with excitement. But it wasn't 24 minutes into the movie that he had fallen asleep-leaning into Mac as she had her arm around him. Five minutes later Harm glanced over and noticed Mac was asleep as well. He got up and retrieved a fleece throw that was folded up inside a basket on the floor. Careful not to wake either one of them, he covered them up and returned to his position on the couch. He embraced the comfortable silence that had fallen between them, even though it was because she was asleep. Having never seen "The Lion King", Harm continued to watch the movie, content at the baby steps they were making.
****
Driving up to their house, Bud and Harriet were surprised to see Harm's SUV parked there next to Mac's car. They certainly didn't expect him to be there, especially with everything that was going on.
After Harriet parked the van, she and Bud opened the door to the home and were greeted with the stillness of a quiet house. They tiptoed inside, gently shutting the door behind them.
Bud whispered to Harriet, "I wonder where everyone is?"
"Maybe AJ has them tied up somewhere," Harriet said, half joking as she hung up her coat.
"Bound and gagged? I hope not."
Harriet peeked around the corner into the family room, and stifled a giggle. She motioned for Bud to look.
On the couch were Harm and Mac-nestled together under the blanket-asleep-with little AJ playing quietly on the floor with his Lego's. The movie credits were rolling on the TV screen.
"So much for our sitter," Bud laughed.
Little AJ suddenly noticed his father and yelled "Daddy!" loud enough to startle Harm and Mac from their little catnap. Mac blinked her eyes and realized where she was and who was next to her under the blanket.
"Bud. Harriet. I must have dozed off. Did you just get here?" she said, standing quickly, slightly embarrassed.
Harm likewise was now fully awake and sitting up on the couch. He acknowledged the Roberts' with a nod of his head and a yawn before standing up.
"Commander, I didn't know you . . ." Bud started to say before Harm interrupted to clarify whatever they were reading into the situation.
"I thought I'd stop by for a visit," Harm said. "I decided to stay to give Mac a hand. I hope you don't mind."
"You know you're always welcome in our house, Harm."
Thinking for a moment, Harriet added, "Would you two like to stay for dinner?"
Automatically Harm replied for both of them, "Sure, we'd love. . ."
"Uh, thanks for the offer, Harriet, but I really need to be going," Mac interjected, cutting Harm off mid-sentence. She didn't want to push the good fortune of getting along today anymore.
Thinking she'd stay for sure, Harriet silently understood Mac's need to leave. Noting her sudden nervousness, she didn't want press the issue. Her earlier eagerness to find out what was going on between them was now shelved indefinitely, no matter how curious she was.
Harm tried hard not to let his disappointment show, but it was apparent to Bud and went unnoticed by Mac, as she was already headed out of the room to gather her things. He sighed, grateful for the little progress they made.
Not wanting to hurt Harriet's feelings, Harm said, "I can stay for dinner if the offer still stands."
"Absolutely," Harriet replied as she followed Mac out into the hallway.
Mac had retrieved her purse and jacket from the foyer closet. She stopped briefly by the family room to say goodbye to little AJ. Stooping down to toddler level, Mac hugged the little boy and kissed his forehead, "I had fun today, big guy. We'll have to play again sometime, OK?"
Standing up, she turned toward Harm and smiled sweetly, "Thanks for your help, Harm."
"I'll see you tomorrow," he replied, a bright smile filling his face. Watching her walk out the door, he exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. Well, she didn't threaten bodily harm, I guess that's a good sign, he thought. There's always tomorrow.
1245 Local (Tuesday)
Roberts' Residence
"Come on, Sweetie, Mac will be here soon!" Bud called to his wife upstairs, who, in his opinion, was taking longer to get ready than needed.
"I'll be down in a minute." Harriet replied to him. She had quickly changed out of her uniform into more casual attire for Bud's doctor appointment. She wanted to be completely ready before Mac arrived. It had been killing her since last Thursday to call and ask what was going on with her and Harm. She had heard through the grapevine that the Admiral had sent them to counseling because of their inability to get along. They should have gone for counseling years ago, Harriet thought, especially if it meant getting those two together.
For as much as the appointment change was an inconvenience, it was a good excuse to get Mac over and hopefully dish about what's been going on. Ever since the housewarming party she had longed to have a heart to heart with Mac. But knowing her friend as well as she does, she knew that pushing her into a conversation she didn't want to have could be disastrous. She had decided she would ease into it gently, giving Mac an open door to talk about her situation with Harm.
Harriet heard the doorbell ring and knew, without asking, that Mac had arrived. She hurried down the stairs, hoping to get a few subtle questions in before they had to leave. Mac was already in the kitchen talking to Bud and little AJ when she came downstairs.
"Thank you so much for watching AJ." Harriet said, motioning for Mac to follow her into the foyer. This was her chance for subtle question number one and dammit she was going to ask it.
"It's no problem Harriet," Mac replied, following her friend to the hall closet so she could retrieve her coat.
Carefully broaching the subject, Harriet asked, "So, how are things?"
Mac had an idea that Harriet would try to find out what's going on, and that it wouldn't take long for the 20 questions to begin. Deciding to play clueless, she responded, "What things, Harriet?"
"You know, THINGS!" Harriet whispered, but with emphasis on "things", hoping Mac would catch on.
Mac had wanted to avoid going "there" today. All she wanted was to have a day when she didn't have to talk about her problems with anyone, including her friends. It wasn't that she was being mean; she just wanted some normalcy back in her life. As she was about to tell Harriet that she'd rather not discuss it, Bud came into the foyer, followed by little AJ.
"Harriet let's go! I don't want to be late. You know there's road construction and the traffic will be heavy," Bud said, interrupting them and grabbing Harriet by the arm. He knew she was up to something and wanted to squelch her nosiness before it caused trouble.
Annoyed, Harriet shot Bud a look and then said to Mac quietly, "We can talk when we get back, OK?"
Smiling, Mac nodded her head, grateful for Bud's common sense for wanting to leave early.
"AJ, you be good for Aunt Mac, OK?" Harriet said, hugging her son and kissing his cheek, "Mommy and Daddy will be back soon."
"He'll be fine, Harriet. You better get going before you're late," Mac said quickly ushering her out the door without shutting it. She and AJ watched as the van with his parents pulled away from the house and headed on its way. She breathed a sigh of relief and hoped her own departure would be swift as well-she'd do anything to avoid the discussion of Harm's and her predicament. Looking at the little boy, she was glad he was too young to understand what was going on and ask those questions his mother had become so adept at.
Taking little AJ's hand and going into the family room, Mac asked, "So, big guy, what do you want to do first?"
Same Time
Harm's apartment
Harm cursed the day Webb had left that TV in his apartment. Since he'd been on leave he had found it to be quite the distraction. Being able to watch the news whenever he wanted was great in the beginning, but soon the novelty wore thin. The only thing he found remotely amusing was the O'Reilly Factor. And that was the other thing-the remote. He finally understood the attraction to the little push button thing-he didn't have to move from the sofa. He also realized that daytime TV sucked. With the exception of a little gem of a network called the SPEED Channel, there really was nothing to watch. He actually spent the last 10 minutes surfing, just trying to find something worth wasting the time on. Some of those court TV shows were just too painful to watch. And the soaps, well, enough said.
Glancing over at his bookshelf, Harm briefly entertained reading something. But other than his reference books and some journals, he really didn't have anything entertaining there. To tell the truth, if he wasn't reading to do research for a case, he really didn't read all that much. He had started reading one of those military scenario books, but he couldn't stop dissecting all the technical details. After a while, it wasn't even worth reading just for the distraction. He wasn't a history buff like Sturgis. In fact, some of the books he had loaned Harm were collecting dust in the bedroom. It was on his to-do list, he just didn't get around to it. He wished he was like Mac-able to read two or three books at a time. He smiled as he remembered tearing her books in half while they were on the Seahawk as she attempted to pack them before leaving on the COD. Even though that occurred moments before they got word of Bud's injury, it was still a pleasant memory.
He couldn't help but have Mac on his mind. He wondered for the millionth time what she was doing. Calling her was out of the question, especially after his little "breaking and entering" routine from last night. He smiled amusedly remembering the sight of her in her robe-and the shocked look on her face. At least in the midst of his frustration he was able to find some humor-but only after the fact. Hope she doesn't ask me to turn over the emergency key, Harm thought, only slightly worried.
Switching gears, he thought of the appointment with Maddie tomorrow. He was sure she had called Mac by now to set up their next session. If Mac had changed her mind or refused, Maddie would have let him know-at least he hoped so. The prospect of going through counseling alone was far from appealing. Despite the fact that he initially hated the idea, it seemed like it was helping to get a lot out into the open, painful as it was.
Deciding he was bored, Harm gave up on the channel surfing, clicked off the TV and then took the batteries out of the remote. Damned if he'd get addicted again. He wondered what else there was to do; an idea crossed his mind-why not visit Bud and little AJ? With Harriet still at work, they could get some guy-time in. He gave thought to calling first, but had decided against it, knowing Bud usually didn't go anywhere by himself. Harm quickly showered and changed before driving off to the Roberts'.
1330 Local
Roberts' Residence
Bud and Harriet had been gone for 33 minutes and little AJ was already tiring out Mac. Asking a three and a half year old what he wanted to do was a big mistake. With the swiftness of a gazelle, AJ had the Lego's out, along with his Brio' figurines, and ink from markers on his hands-"God knows when THAT happened," sighed Mac. In an attempt to slow him down, Mac put him at the kitchen table with his Play-doh. She wondered when the situation had gotten out of control. The house was beginning to look like FAO Schwartz at Christmas. She hoped that at some point his batteries would run down so she'd be able to straighten up before Bud and Harriet returned. She didn't want them to know that their son got the upper hand on his Godmother.
In the midst trying to fix the Fuzzy-Pumper guy, the doorbell rang. Before Mac could even get out of the kitchen, AJ had run to the door and answered it.
"Uncle Harm!" the little boy shrieked with merriment, as his Godfather lifted him up like an airplane.
Mac spun around to see Harm walking through the hallway from the foyer to the kitchen with little AJ up over his shoulders. She silently wondered if Harriet had set all this up-otherwise why would he have shown up unannounced. Trying to act coolly, Mac continued to tidy up the table with the Play-doh on it.
Harm walked into the kitchen and set the little boy down in the chair at the table. At first he was afraid to say anything, but realized avoidance would only make it worse. "Hi, Mac," he said evenly, "I had no idea you'd be here today."
"Um, Bud's appointment got changed and the sitter wasn't available. Harriet asked me to watch him." Mac replied without meeting his gaze. This was the last place she expected to run into Harm. She was a little nervous. Considering the way counseling had gone on Monday, she wasn't sure what to expect from him, or what he expected from her.
"Looks like you've got your hands full with the little guy," Harm said admiring one of AJ's creations. "You two have been busy."
"He is definitely a busy boy," Mac said awkwardly, at a loss for what to say to Harm.
This wasn't Maddie's office-she couldn't exactly run away. And it wasn't her apartment-if she asked Harm to leave, little AJ would be upset.
Harm noticed her discomfort, knowing he was probably the reason for it. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for keeping things from her, but knew this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it. Deciding to keep the past in the past, at least for today, he said, "Look, why don't you take him upstairs and clean him up, I'll straighten up down here."
Mac was surprised by his gesture, but appreciative nonetheless. Accepting his offer as it was meant, she said "Um, sure Harm. Thanks," with the slightest hint of a smile.
Picking AJ up and carrying him upstairs Mac said, "Come on, big guy. Let's go wash you up. Once we're nice and clean, we can have a snack. OK?"
Harm smiled at the sight. He missed spending time with Mac. Although things were a mess right now, he hoped they could eventually get back what they had. The thought of losing Mac to his own stupidity hurt more than he ever imagined. He had to make her understand his motives for not being honest about his feelings for her. But, it would have to wait for a more opportune moment.
While Mac was upstairs with AJ, Harm made quick work of cleaning up the toys, unsure what time Bud and Harriet planned on returning. He didn't want their house looking like a battle zone. Amazing how one small child could turn a house upside down, he chuckled to himself. Contemplating their present dilemma he said aloud, "Amazing how one statement turned our world upside down."
It didn't take Mac long to wash up little AJ. Thankfully the ink from the markers he had on his little fingers was the washable kind. As she descended the staircase carrying him, Harm met her at the bottom and offered to take the boy from her. She obliged, as he wasn't as light as he used to be when he was a baby. Mac watched as he carried him into the family room. Before all the conflict came into play, Mac had often wondered what kind of a father Harm would be, if they ever got together. Watching him with little AJ, she felt like she was getting a glimpse into the future. Unseen, she smiled sweetly at the scene-more of a "if only" kind of expression than one of joy. Reclaiming their friendship had priority at the moment.
The child's laughter broke the spell she was under, reminding Mac that she had promised the little boy a snack. Heading toward the kitchen, she knew Harriet didn't like him to have too many sweets, so she retrieved some fruit and prepared a plate that they all could enjoy. Walking back into the family room, she enjoyed the sight of Harm sitting in the recliner with AJ on his lap, reading him a story. Despite the pleasantness of the scene Mac couldn't help but still feel the heartache from their encounter on Monday. So far Harm hadn't broached the subject, and she wasn't sure if he would. He seemed content being with his Godson and that was good enough for her too. This had become a neutral ground where they could spend time together without snipping at one another.
Little AJ noticed Mac before Harm did and squealed with delight at the sight of his snack. Mac set the plate down on the coffee table in front of Harm and AJ. Feeling a little ill at ease in Harm's presence, Mac began to walk out of the room to find something else to occupy her time.
"Don't go, Mac," Harm said softly, wanting her to stay, yet not wanting her to feel pressured to be with him either. He silently wished he could make all the pain go away with a wave of his hand, and give them happier times. But he was no magician. If they wanted to get back what they had and move their relationship in a new direction, they would have to work at it. And seeing how agonized she was over what had transpired between them, Harm was all the more eager to do what was needed to make it work.
Mac stopped her retreat from the room and turned slowly to meet Harm's gaze. The gentleness of his voice and the softness of his expression told her that he had no intention of revisiting their "issues" from Monday. For that fact she was relieved. They still had the demons of their past to conquer-but not today. However, she still felt oddly uncomfortable in his presence. Was it because some of the residual hurt from his revelation? Or, was it because she finally knew how he felt when she was about to marry Mic? She felt confused by her feelings and having Harm right in front of her surely didn't help matters. His mere presence often distracted her as her heart took over where her brain should be.
Harm watched her carefully. He could sense her conflicting emotions and didn't want to push her into something that she wasn't ready for. Wondering if it were best if he left, for both their sakes, he glanced at his watch and said, "I really should be going." He stood up from the chair and began to cross the room to leave. He knew that running away, for as appealing as it is, doesn't solve anything, but sometimes it's the only recourse.
Now more than ever Mac was unsure of how to handle the situation. Avoiding the discussion was one thing, but avoiding each other was clearly a different ballgame. She missed him-she missed her best friend-despite the tension and the lost opportunities. Yes, she was angry he waited so long to tell her his feelings. And, yes, she didn't want to talk about it, at least today. But, she didn't want him to leave, nonetheless. And it was obvious he was leaving to spare her feelings.
The room was silent except for little AJ munching on his apple. Mac finally found the strength to meet Harm's gaze. She quietly said, "You don't have to leave."
"Are you sure you're OK with me being here?" Harm asked gently.
Her knees were slightly weak as she answered him, "Yes."
Harm smiled at her softly. He then looked at AJ and tousled his hair, "So what do you want to do first, AJ?" he asked. Mac rolled her eyes-that's what got me into trouble in the first place, she thought.
"How about watching a movie instead?" she offered, trying to dissuade Harm and AJ from creating another flood of toys in the family room.
"Yippee!" AJ exclaimed, running to the shelves to pick something out that Mac was certain he had watched a hundred times. The little boy quickly selected "The Lion King" and handed the movie to Harm. He then ran to get settled with Mac on the sofa. Harm started the movie and then joined them, sitting so that AJ was between him and Mac.
The music swelled as the movie began causing AJ to wriggle with excitement. But it wasn't 24 minutes into the movie that he had fallen asleep-leaning into Mac as she had her arm around him. Five minutes later Harm glanced over and noticed Mac was asleep as well. He got up and retrieved a fleece throw that was folded up inside a basket on the floor. Careful not to wake either one of them, he covered them up and returned to his position on the couch. He embraced the comfortable silence that had fallen between them, even though it was because she was asleep. Having never seen "The Lion King", Harm continued to watch the movie, content at the baby steps they were making.
****
Driving up to their house, Bud and Harriet were surprised to see Harm's SUV parked there next to Mac's car. They certainly didn't expect him to be there, especially with everything that was going on.
After Harriet parked the van, she and Bud opened the door to the home and were greeted with the stillness of a quiet house. They tiptoed inside, gently shutting the door behind them.
Bud whispered to Harriet, "I wonder where everyone is?"
"Maybe AJ has them tied up somewhere," Harriet said, half joking as she hung up her coat.
"Bound and gagged? I hope not."
Harriet peeked around the corner into the family room, and stifled a giggle. She motioned for Bud to look.
On the couch were Harm and Mac-nestled together under the blanket-asleep-with little AJ playing quietly on the floor with his Lego's. The movie credits were rolling on the TV screen.
"So much for our sitter," Bud laughed.
Little AJ suddenly noticed his father and yelled "Daddy!" loud enough to startle Harm and Mac from their little catnap. Mac blinked her eyes and realized where she was and who was next to her under the blanket.
"Bud. Harriet. I must have dozed off. Did you just get here?" she said, standing quickly, slightly embarrassed.
Harm likewise was now fully awake and sitting up on the couch. He acknowledged the Roberts' with a nod of his head and a yawn before standing up.
"Commander, I didn't know you . . ." Bud started to say before Harm interrupted to clarify whatever they were reading into the situation.
"I thought I'd stop by for a visit," Harm said. "I decided to stay to give Mac a hand. I hope you don't mind."
"You know you're always welcome in our house, Harm."
Thinking for a moment, Harriet added, "Would you two like to stay for dinner?"
Automatically Harm replied for both of them, "Sure, we'd love. . ."
"Uh, thanks for the offer, Harriet, but I really need to be going," Mac interjected, cutting Harm off mid-sentence. She didn't want to push the good fortune of getting along today anymore.
Thinking she'd stay for sure, Harriet silently understood Mac's need to leave. Noting her sudden nervousness, she didn't want press the issue. Her earlier eagerness to find out what was going on between them was now shelved indefinitely, no matter how curious she was.
Harm tried hard not to let his disappointment show, but it was apparent to Bud and went unnoticed by Mac, as she was already headed out of the room to gather her things. He sighed, grateful for the little progress they made.
Not wanting to hurt Harriet's feelings, Harm said, "I can stay for dinner if the offer still stands."
"Absolutely," Harriet replied as she followed Mac out into the hallway.
Mac had retrieved her purse and jacket from the foyer closet. She stopped briefly by the family room to say goodbye to little AJ. Stooping down to toddler level, Mac hugged the little boy and kissed his forehead, "I had fun today, big guy. We'll have to play again sometime, OK?"
Standing up, she turned toward Harm and smiled sweetly, "Thanks for your help, Harm."
"I'll see you tomorrow," he replied, a bright smile filling his face. Watching her walk out the door, he exhaled and ran his hand through his hair. Well, she didn't threaten bodily harm, I guess that's a good sign, he thought. There's always tomorrow.