Both Harm and Maddie looked toward the door as Mac strode in-head up, back straight and a smile on her face. During the brief time Maddie had come to know her, she recognized this facade. She could tell Mac was tense and trying her Marine damnedest to hide it. Rather than blow this cover, Maddie greeted her cheerily.
"Hi Mac. Good to see you. Since we're all here, let's get started."
"I'm ready if you are," Mac responded, a little too jovial. Harm regarded her carefully as he followed her into the office. He knew all too well when she was putting her game face on-and this was one of those times. As they walked through the door, Harm gently placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to quietly reassure her that all will be fine-eventually. Mac looked back at him and gave him a truly genuine smile.
Maddie caught the gesture between the two friends out of the corner of her eye. She was pleased to see they were at least getting along. She watched them enter the room and take their usual places on the sofa while she gathered her note pad and file. Zolly, who had been asleep in front of the hearth, peeked out from under his bushy tail to see who was disturbing his nap. A stretch and a yawn later, he was on Mac's lap, eager for attention.
"Zolly!" Maddie said, ready to chastise him for his boldness.
"It's OK, I don't mind," Mac said as the furry creature nestled himself in her lap. She welcomed this distraction. Some of the earlier tension she felt was starting to slowly melt away with the attention she was giving Zolly behind his right ear.
Having reviewed her notes earlier and seeing how tense Mac was today, Maddie decided to take this session a little slower. Their last appointment ended with Mac bolting when Harm came clean about his feelings surrounding her impending marriage. She knew they were walking this tightrope without a net. But, she was afraid that the slightest breeze from the past might make either one of them tumble into the abyss of heartache they were slowly bridging. Watching a distracted Mac sit stiffly on the sofa, Maddie knew she was making the right decision to pull the reins in a little.
"Can I get either of you something to drink before we begin?" she offered before sitting down. Harm declined, but Mac gratefully accepted as Maddie handed her a glass of water.
Getting comfortable in her chair, Maddie drew an uneasy breath. Whatever she said at this moment would set the tone for her client's session. Choosing her words carefully, Maddie began.
"We ended our last session without discussing the homework I had assigned after our first meeting. Why don't we begin with that?"
Harm looked puzzled at first, but then recalled what Maddie was talking about. He was prepared at the last appointment to discuss his "strengths and weaknesses", having had sufficient time to think about them and commit them to memory. They weren't written down but he figured it shouldn't be too hard to recall them. The thought crossed his mind to ask why Maddie wasn't going to continue where they left off last time, after telling Mac how he felt about her marrying Mic. He figured she had a good reason for not discussing it and decided not to bring it up-for the moment.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Mac promptly opened her purse to retrieve her paper. Her movement disturbed Zolly, causing the cat to seek another spot for his nap. He leapt from her lap and crossed the room to his previous spot on the rug in front of the fireplace-content but not happy.
As Mac found her paper Maddie noted it was a little tattered from being man-handled during the last session, but otherwise it seemed to be still readable. Mac was grateful Maddie wasn't beginning the session with a recap of their last venture into the past. Actually she was willing to even discuss the weather if it meant avoiding the whole situation entirely. But, for what it was worth, she could handle discussing strengths and weaknesses right now.
"Your assignment was to list 3 of your strengths and 3 of your weaknesses. How did you both do?" Maddie asked.
"I guess OK," was Mac's response, fiddling with the paper in her lap.
Maddie looked toward Harm who, on the other hand, produced nothing that resembled a paper with words on it. He sat there, cool and collected, arms folded across his chest.
"Harm, were you able to complete the assignment?" Maddie asked.
"Yes I was."
Maddie looked at him bewildered. "Did you forget your paper at home?"
"No I didn't."
Mac was finding this little exchange between Harm and Maddie all too amusing. He was frustrating her just like he frustrates everyone he comes in contact with. He was answering the questions like he was on the witness stand. Mac wondered how long it would take before Maddie threatens bodily harm unless she gets a straight answer.
"OK, then, why don't you start, Harm. What are your three strengths?" Maddie said, her patience waning with every passing second.
"Well, I had a hard time picking just three."
"Why don't you just tell us the most important ones, then?"
"OK. I am an excellent investigator; I have initiative and am quite perceptive. It's what makes me a successful lawyer."
Mac was in mid-sip of her glass of water as Harm said "perceptive". She struggled to keep the water from going out her nose as she started coughing.
Maddie looked toward Mac as she quickly composed herself. She motioned that she was OK, having noted her silent concern.
She continued, "Harm, those are admirable qualities for a lawyer. But I am interested in Harm the person too-what would you say are his strengths?"
Harm had a confused look on his face. After taking a moment to collect his thoughts he said, "The successful lawyer is what makes the person."
"But, you were a person before you became a lawyer. I want to know what the 'person's' strengths are."
"Well, before I became a lawyer, I was a pilot. So I probably would say . . . . ."
Mac's amusement was turning into annoyance, "Harm, are you even listening to the question?" she said sarcastically, the pitch of her voice rising.
Irritated, he replied, "Yes, I AM listening Mac! And if you would listen, I'm trying to answer the question!"
Struggling to keep from choking him, Mac said, "Fine. Have it your way," punctuating her words with staccato-like effect, then turning her head to face Maddie.
Maddie could only shake her head listening to the two of them bicker. It was like she was counseling an old married couple. They reminded her of her parents and how they would find something in everything to squabble about. Things always turned out OK-but only once they got past the nit-picking.
Deciding to take control of the situation before there was bloodshed, Maddie interrupted by saying, "Harm, let's forget for a moment that you are a lawyer or that you were a pilot. Tell me how you see yourself."
Harm didn't know how to answer that one. He could describe Harm the lawyer in 50 words or less. Harm the person was elusive to him. He never had to think in those terms before.
"Well, I'm a hard worker; I know how to get things done," he paused, not knowing how to progress through this line of questioning. Remembering why they were here in the first place, he added with a smile, "stubborn, maybe."
"Stubborn? Maybe control-freak is a better word," Mac quickly countered.
Before the fireworks erupted again, Maddie interjected, "Why do you think you're stubborn?"
"Maybe stubborn is too strong of a word. What I meant is that I don't back down easily."
Mac started to laugh, just shaking her head. She was trying very hard to control her tongue and in an attempt to suppress her comments, it all came out as a laugh.
Harm looked in her direction and said, "What?"
"Nothing," she chortled.
"Well, obviously you found something amusing in what I said."
Intervening once again, Maddie directed her question to Mac this time, "Mac, something Harm said must have bothered you to cause such a reaction."
Controlling herself, Mac said, "I just found his opinion of himself to be a little off the mark."
"In what way?"
"Yeah, in what way, Mac?" Harm snapped, as Maddie shot him a stay-out-of-it look.
Fully composed, she looked in Harm's direction and said, "Sydney," briefly meeting his gaze and then turning away. She sighed deeply, looking toward the ceiling and then closing her eyes for a split second, as if trying to shut out a memory.
All of a sudden Harm paled. He'd forgotten probably the one and only time he backed down-and it almost cost him dearly. He knew if he closed his eyes he could still hear the ferry and feel the mist of the water. Lost in thought, a far-away look caused his blue eyes to cloud over.
We're not in Washington any more; we're not even on the same continent.
That doesn't change who we are.
Most men would disagree with you.
I know, I disagree with me sometimes too.
But you still can't let go.
Not yet.
Maddie was confused as she watched the looks pass between Harm and Mac-again that silent communication. She could practically hear their wounds opening up again. Try as she may, this taking it slow wasn't going to work today. There were too many ghosts to banish. And right now a very large one was looming in the form of someone or something called Sydney-whoever they or it may be. All of a sudden it dawned on Maddie. In her conversation with AJ he mentioned Australia. Could this Sydney be as in Sydney, Australia? What is the significance of Sydney in their past? Allowing the silence to continue enveloping the room, Maddie attempted to find the safest way to venture this latest journey into the past.
"Tell me what's so significant about Sydney, Mac?" Maddie asked cautiously.
"Nothing," Mac lied, hoping the subject would be dropped as quickly as she brought it up. She didn't know why she said it, but she did. Maybe subconsciously she needed to say it-to get those feelings off her chest. But now, it wasn't where she wanted to go.
Maddie didn't want to let this subject just drop. But getting them both agitated would only spell disaster for this counseling session. So she made a quick note in her file and then decided to move on when a voice from the other side of the couch broke the silence.
"Maybe it's something we should talk about, Mac," Harm said, his voice low as he stole a glance in her direction. Watching her carefully, he waited for a response. Seeing that she wasn't going to voice any objection, he took over the conversation.
"Australia is where Mic Brumby is from," Harm started.
"Mic Brumby?" Maddie asked trying to make a connection with the name. Harm had mentioned a Bugme in their last session, but it couldn't be the same person-could it?
"Mac's former fiancee." Harm said as Maddie instantly made the Bugme/Brumby correlation. She nodded her head and smiled, trying hard not to snicker as it all came clear to her. Obviously Harm hated this Brumby guy enough that he attached a bizarre albeit funny nickname to him.
"Harm, I don't think we need to go there with this right now." Mac said, wanting to change the subject-fast.
Harm continued, ignoring Mac's comment, "I had been assigned to a case in Sydney that involved the Royal Australian Navy and the U.S. Navy. Brumby had spent some time with our JAG office before returning to Australia-that's how he and Mac met. While I was in Sydney, our CO sent Mac down as well. She met up with me as well as Brumby." Before continuing, he looked at Mac. She has to know where this is leading, he thought to himself. Yet, she quietly sits there.
Mac shifted her position on the sofa, uncomfortable with the direction Harm was taking this session. Although she refused to meet his gaze, she could still feel his eyes on her-waiting for any sort of response from her. She had nothing to offer to the conversation-yet.
"We went for dinner one night while we were there-part work related, part social. We got into a discussion regarding her, um, appearance on the beach with Brumby."
"Appearance?" Maddie asked, confused.
Mac covered her eyes slightly with her hand, knowing exactly where this was going.
"I thought she had gone topless on the beach with Brumby-it's accepted practice there."
As Mac groaned her displeasure with Harm's statement, Maddie was quite astounded. Oh my, this keeps getting better and better, she thought.
"To make a long story short, before we left, she ended up with Brumby's ring."
"Why leave out the most important part, Harm?" Mac said to him with a biting tone. "You can't tell a story and then leave out the most important part."
Maddie set her note pad down and crossed her legs so they were comfortable. This wasn't what I had in mind for today, but I might as well get cozy-this could take a while, she mused, watching the interaction of her clients. She had no intention of breaking their momentum right now. There was the distinct feeling that what happened in Sydney was a closely guarded secret between them. Maddie decided to let them hash it all out unobstructed.
"What part Mac? The part where you took his ring to get back at me?"
"Get BACK at you? For what Harm? For pushing me away? I practically threw myself at you and you pretty much said 'not going there with you'."
"That's NOT how I remember it Mac-not at all," Harm said standing up and crossing the room to the windows.
"Go ahead, Harm. Run. Run away from your feelings-you've gotten quite good at it," Mac said with heat in her voice as she likewise stood, hands on her hips.
"You have no idea what you're saying, Mac," Harm countered, pointing his finger at her for emphasis, "No idea, whatsoever!" Standing on the other side of the room, he watched the ire explode in Mac's eyes as she went into angry Marine-mode.
"Oh, really? Then, enlighten me, please. I'm sure Maddie is just dying to know what the real reason is," she said loudly, motioning to the wide-eyed counselor sitting across the room from them.
"We're supposed to be discussing strengths and weaknesses, and here you are rehashing the past."
"Let's rewind here a little bit, Commander. I distinctly remember not wanting to discuss it. You, on the other hand, couldn't wait to just jump into the fire, could you?"
"I could say the same about you. But, let's clarify a few things first. Number one, I never pushed you away. Number two, I never said that I wouldn't 'go there' with you," Harm said as he began to walk across the room in her direction. "And number three, I distinctly remember saying 'not yet'," he finished, standing mere inches from her, face to face, unflinching from her piercing stare.
"Hi Mac. Good to see you. Since we're all here, let's get started."
"I'm ready if you are," Mac responded, a little too jovial. Harm regarded her carefully as he followed her into the office. He knew all too well when she was putting her game face on-and this was one of those times. As they walked through the door, Harm gently placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to quietly reassure her that all will be fine-eventually. Mac looked back at him and gave him a truly genuine smile.
Maddie caught the gesture between the two friends out of the corner of her eye. She was pleased to see they were at least getting along. She watched them enter the room and take their usual places on the sofa while she gathered her note pad and file. Zolly, who had been asleep in front of the hearth, peeked out from under his bushy tail to see who was disturbing his nap. A stretch and a yawn later, he was on Mac's lap, eager for attention.
"Zolly!" Maddie said, ready to chastise him for his boldness.
"It's OK, I don't mind," Mac said as the furry creature nestled himself in her lap. She welcomed this distraction. Some of the earlier tension she felt was starting to slowly melt away with the attention she was giving Zolly behind his right ear.
Having reviewed her notes earlier and seeing how tense Mac was today, Maddie decided to take this session a little slower. Their last appointment ended with Mac bolting when Harm came clean about his feelings surrounding her impending marriage. She knew they were walking this tightrope without a net. But, she was afraid that the slightest breeze from the past might make either one of them tumble into the abyss of heartache they were slowly bridging. Watching a distracted Mac sit stiffly on the sofa, Maddie knew she was making the right decision to pull the reins in a little.
"Can I get either of you something to drink before we begin?" she offered before sitting down. Harm declined, but Mac gratefully accepted as Maddie handed her a glass of water.
Getting comfortable in her chair, Maddie drew an uneasy breath. Whatever she said at this moment would set the tone for her client's session. Choosing her words carefully, Maddie began.
"We ended our last session without discussing the homework I had assigned after our first meeting. Why don't we begin with that?"
Harm looked puzzled at first, but then recalled what Maddie was talking about. He was prepared at the last appointment to discuss his "strengths and weaknesses", having had sufficient time to think about them and commit them to memory. They weren't written down but he figured it shouldn't be too hard to recall them. The thought crossed his mind to ask why Maddie wasn't going to continue where they left off last time, after telling Mac how he felt about her marrying Mic. He figured she had a good reason for not discussing it and decided not to bring it up-for the moment.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Mac promptly opened her purse to retrieve her paper. Her movement disturbed Zolly, causing the cat to seek another spot for his nap. He leapt from her lap and crossed the room to his previous spot on the rug in front of the fireplace-content but not happy.
As Mac found her paper Maddie noted it was a little tattered from being man-handled during the last session, but otherwise it seemed to be still readable. Mac was grateful Maddie wasn't beginning the session with a recap of their last venture into the past. Actually she was willing to even discuss the weather if it meant avoiding the whole situation entirely. But, for what it was worth, she could handle discussing strengths and weaknesses right now.
"Your assignment was to list 3 of your strengths and 3 of your weaknesses. How did you both do?" Maddie asked.
"I guess OK," was Mac's response, fiddling with the paper in her lap.
Maddie looked toward Harm who, on the other hand, produced nothing that resembled a paper with words on it. He sat there, cool and collected, arms folded across his chest.
"Harm, were you able to complete the assignment?" Maddie asked.
"Yes I was."
Maddie looked at him bewildered. "Did you forget your paper at home?"
"No I didn't."
Mac was finding this little exchange between Harm and Maddie all too amusing. He was frustrating her just like he frustrates everyone he comes in contact with. He was answering the questions like he was on the witness stand. Mac wondered how long it would take before Maddie threatens bodily harm unless she gets a straight answer.
"OK, then, why don't you start, Harm. What are your three strengths?" Maddie said, her patience waning with every passing second.
"Well, I had a hard time picking just three."
"Why don't you just tell us the most important ones, then?"
"OK. I am an excellent investigator; I have initiative and am quite perceptive. It's what makes me a successful lawyer."
Mac was in mid-sip of her glass of water as Harm said "perceptive". She struggled to keep the water from going out her nose as she started coughing.
Maddie looked toward Mac as she quickly composed herself. She motioned that she was OK, having noted her silent concern.
She continued, "Harm, those are admirable qualities for a lawyer. But I am interested in Harm the person too-what would you say are his strengths?"
Harm had a confused look on his face. After taking a moment to collect his thoughts he said, "The successful lawyer is what makes the person."
"But, you were a person before you became a lawyer. I want to know what the 'person's' strengths are."
"Well, before I became a lawyer, I was a pilot. So I probably would say . . . . ."
Mac's amusement was turning into annoyance, "Harm, are you even listening to the question?" she said sarcastically, the pitch of her voice rising.
Irritated, he replied, "Yes, I AM listening Mac! And if you would listen, I'm trying to answer the question!"
Struggling to keep from choking him, Mac said, "Fine. Have it your way," punctuating her words with staccato-like effect, then turning her head to face Maddie.
Maddie could only shake her head listening to the two of them bicker. It was like she was counseling an old married couple. They reminded her of her parents and how they would find something in everything to squabble about. Things always turned out OK-but only once they got past the nit-picking.
Deciding to take control of the situation before there was bloodshed, Maddie interrupted by saying, "Harm, let's forget for a moment that you are a lawyer or that you were a pilot. Tell me how you see yourself."
Harm didn't know how to answer that one. He could describe Harm the lawyer in 50 words or less. Harm the person was elusive to him. He never had to think in those terms before.
"Well, I'm a hard worker; I know how to get things done," he paused, not knowing how to progress through this line of questioning. Remembering why they were here in the first place, he added with a smile, "stubborn, maybe."
"Stubborn? Maybe control-freak is a better word," Mac quickly countered.
Before the fireworks erupted again, Maddie interjected, "Why do you think you're stubborn?"
"Maybe stubborn is too strong of a word. What I meant is that I don't back down easily."
Mac started to laugh, just shaking her head. She was trying very hard to control her tongue and in an attempt to suppress her comments, it all came out as a laugh.
Harm looked in her direction and said, "What?"
"Nothing," she chortled.
"Well, obviously you found something amusing in what I said."
Intervening once again, Maddie directed her question to Mac this time, "Mac, something Harm said must have bothered you to cause such a reaction."
Controlling herself, Mac said, "I just found his opinion of himself to be a little off the mark."
"In what way?"
"Yeah, in what way, Mac?" Harm snapped, as Maddie shot him a stay-out-of-it look.
Fully composed, she looked in Harm's direction and said, "Sydney," briefly meeting his gaze and then turning away. She sighed deeply, looking toward the ceiling and then closing her eyes for a split second, as if trying to shut out a memory.
All of a sudden Harm paled. He'd forgotten probably the one and only time he backed down-and it almost cost him dearly. He knew if he closed his eyes he could still hear the ferry and feel the mist of the water. Lost in thought, a far-away look caused his blue eyes to cloud over.
We're not in Washington any more; we're not even on the same continent.
That doesn't change who we are.
Most men would disagree with you.
I know, I disagree with me sometimes too.
But you still can't let go.
Not yet.
Maddie was confused as she watched the looks pass between Harm and Mac-again that silent communication. She could practically hear their wounds opening up again. Try as she may, this taking it slow wasn't going to work today. There were too many ghosts to banish. And right now a very large one was looming in the form of someone or something called Sydney-whoever they or it may be. All of a sudden it dawned on Maddie. In her conversation with AJ he mentioned Australia. Could this Sydney be as in Sydney, Australia? What is the significance of Sydney in their past? Allowing the silence to continue enveloping the room, Maddie attempted to find the safest way to venture this latest journey into the past.
"Tell me what's so significant about Sydney, Mac?" Maddie asked cautiously.
"Nothing," Mac lied, hoping the subject would be dropped as quickly as she brought it up. She didn't know why she said it, but she did. Maybe subconsciously she needed to say it-to get those feelings off her chest. But now, it wasn't where she wanted to go.
Maddie didn't want to let this subject just drop. But getting them both agitated would only spell disaster for this counseling session. So she made a quick note in her file and then decided to move on when a voice from the other side of the couch broke the silence.
"Maybe it's something we should talk about, Mac," Harm said, his voice low as he stole a glance in her direction. Watching her carefully, he waited for a response. Seeing that she wasn't going to voice any objection, he took over the conversation.
"Australia is where Mic Brumby is from," Harm started.
"Mic Brumby?" Maddie asked trying to make a connection with the name. Harm had mentioned a Bugme in their last session, but it couldn't be the same person-could it?
"Mac's former fiancee." Harm said as Maddie instantly made the Bugme/Brumby correlation. She nodded her head and smiled, trying hard not to snicker as it all came clear to her. Obviously Harm hated this Brumby guy enough that he attached a bizarre albeit funny nickname to him.
"Harm, I don't think we need to go there with this right now." Mac said, wanting to change the subject-fast.
Harm continued, ignoring Mac's comment, "I had been assigned to a case in Sydney that involved the Royal Australian Navy and the U.S. Navy. Brumby had spent some time with our JAG office before returning to Australia-that's how he and Mac met. While I was in Sydney, our CO sent Mac down as well. She met up with me as well as Brumby." Before continuing, he looked at Mac. She has to know where this is leading, he thought to himself. Yet, she quietly sits there.
Mac shifted her position on the sofa, uncomfortable with the direction Harm was taking this session. Although she refused to meet his gaze, she could still feel his eyes on her-waiting for any sort of response from her. She had nothing to offer to the conversation-yet.
"We went for dinner one night while we were there-part work related, part social. We got into a discussion regarding her, um, appearance on the beach with Brumby."
"Appearance?" Maddie asked, confused.
Mac covered her eyes slightly with her hand, knowing exactly where this was going.
"I thought she had gone topless on the beach with Brumby-it's accepted practice there."
As Mac groaned her displeasure with Harm's statement, Maddie was quite astounded. Oh my, this keeps getting better and better, she thought.
"To make a long story short, before we left, she ended up with Brumby's ring."
"Why leave out the most important part, Harm?" Mac said to him with a biting tone. "You can't tell a story and then leave out the most important part."
Maddie set her note pad down and crossed her legs so they were comfortable. This wasn't what I had in mind for today, but I might as well get cozy-this could take a while, she mused, watching the interaction of her clients. She had no intention of breaking their momentum right now. There was the distinct feeling that what happened in Sydney was a closely guarded secret between them. Maddie decided to let them hash it all out unobstructed.
"What part Mac? The part where you took his ring to get back at me?"
"Get BACK at you? For what Harm? For pushing me away? I practically threw myself at you and you pretty much said 'not going there with you'."
"That's NOT how I remember it Mac-not at all," Harm said standing up and crossing the room to the windows.
"Go ahead, Harm. Run. Run away from your feelings-you've gotten quite good at it," Mac said with heat in her voice as she likewise stood, hands on her hips.
"You have no idea what you're saying, Mac," Harm countered, pointing his finger at her for emphasis, "No idea, whatsoever!" Standing on the other side of the room, he watched the ire explode in Mac's eyes as she went into angry Marine-mode.
"Oh, really? Then, enlighten me, please. I'm sure Maddie is just dying to know what the real reason is," she said loudly, motioning to the wide-eyed counselor sitting across the room from them.
"We're supposed to be discussing strengths and weaknesses, and here you are rehashing the past."
"Let's rewind here a little bit, Commander. I distinctly remember not wanting to discuss it. You, on the other hand, couldn't wait to just jump into the fire, could you?"
"I could say the same about you. But, let's clarify a few things first. Number one, I never pushed you away. Number two, I never said that I wouldn't 'go there' with you," Harm said as he began to walk across the room in her direction. "And number three, I distinctly remember saying 'not yet'," he finished, standing mere inches from her, face to face, unflinching from her piercing stare.