I'm sitting here, now, diary; just thinking. And every time I close my eyes, Sams' image comes to mind. Guilt...
I hated guilt.
Allow me to explain what you don't know. After the....accident, I ran out of town and didn't intend to return. Of course, you knew that. My secret was out to those who where willing to believe it; the evidence all pointed to me.
The fact their death was at my hands was something I couldn't change, and I thought they'd drop it. I was in a world of trouble.
The last thing I remember before leaving was I had spoken to Jazz.
The exact words where unknown, but everything we'd held inside spilled into the night. Jazz must've known I'd be leaving as soon as possible. She must've iknown/i what I did to those...horrible....Those horrible..
Never mind. I'll continue.
I had a couple of outfits and some things to sell when I was ready to leave. My window was open, and I was enjoying to last taste of moonlight I'd have in my room. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to leave.
The next moment I found myself hovering. My snow white hair was blown into tangles by the brisk wind of late fall, and my green eyes where downcast at the city. I glanced one last time at the moon, and then I grabbed my suitcase with its few possesions and told myself iit was time to go./i
But before I could've gone intangible, I heard a weak voice signal me out.
"D-Danny?"
My eyes went wide, and I turned around and my eyes held a deep regret. I hated keeping secrets from Jazz. She was the only one who ever cared.
I let the suitcase fall to the ground and looked at her, locking gaze with the sea green eyes of the gentle 15 year old girl.
"J-Jazz, I--"
I was silenced when she embraced me; and we where both in silent tears, saying things we where to stubborn to ever admit, and listening to things we'd always wanted to hear. "I care about you," "I'm sorry," "I know everything."; Jazz really knew how to make me feel bad about this.
"I'm sorry, I just need to...get out of here. Tonight."
"I don't understand." Jazz kept saying. "I don't understand."
More silence.
"No one does."
I turned away. "Tell Sam and Tuck I'm sorry."
I disappeared. Quite iliterally/i. And all I could hear as I left where Jazz apologizing for not being a better sister.
She was wrong. She wasn't the reason I left.
I brought this up because something really weird happened when I was shopping at Hot Topic the other day.
I'm not even sure if I understand it.