~~~Charting a New Course~~~
0735 local (Thursday)
Mount Vernon, VA
Maddie yawned for what seemed to be the hundredth time as she sat crossed-legged on the carpeted floor in the living room of her home. Still in her pajamas, she felt bleary-eyed after reviewing the files that were spread out before her. The one thing she hated doing more than anything was rescheduling appointments, however this was the one time she had to make an exception. When it came to family, she would always make the exception. And she considered her sister's impromptu visit a most important one.
Deborah, who was ten years younger than Maddie, had moved to Florida shortly after her marriage 4 years ago. But having married a dedicated Air Force pilot, she was often left alone when he was deployed, as was the case this time. Except now his deployment, coupled with the threat of conflict in the Middle East, caused her visit to become an urgent one-needing to be with her family. Despite the age difference, they were quite close, with Maddie being the ever protective older sister. She knew what Deb was going through, having married military herself. However, her husband was now retired and working in relative safety as a defense contractor. Understanding her sister's present state of mind, she decided that she needed her undivided attention for the few days that she would be here.
So now she sat here with her appointment book nestled in her lap, putting her charts in order of their Friday appointments. One pile included all of Friday's morning appointments, the other had all the afternoon appointments, with Zoloft curled up between the two. She had the daunting task of deciding who needed to be scheduled for today and who would be fitted into next weeks' schedule. Brushing the hair out of her eyes, Maddie sighed, "Note to self, hire a damn secretary next time." Deciding the hair was becoming annoying, she took the clip out and rearranged it to keep it off her face. "Second note to self, get a haircut," she said, frustrated by how her morning was starting. Her not so silent musings woke Zolly from his nap. The furry feline yawned and stretched his body out between the stacks of charts. His outstretched paws caused both carefully stacked piles to go sprawling across the carpet.
"Zoloft!" Maddie cried, exasperated. "You are NOT my idea of a secretary!"
He looked at Maddie in confusion, wondering what the fuss was. Zolly stood up and meowed loudly before stealthily walking toward her. He then adeptly curled up in her lap on top of the open appointment book. With a chirp and a flick of his tail, he rubbed his head against her arm, as if apologetically.
"That's not going to get you anywhere this time, Mister," she said firmly, attempting to maneuver around the already comfortable creature in her lap. Zolly continued to trill and chirp while he snuggled closer to Maddie, obviously as repentant as a cat could be.
"Okay, okay, I still love you," Maddie said, rubbing his head and giving in to the affections of her persistent cat. "Now please, find somewhere else to nap and maybe we'll go to PetSmart later for some treats, okay?"
As if understanding what she meant, Zolly leapt out of Maddie's lap and ambled toward the sofa, jumping up and making a bed out of one of her chenille pillows.
"Nothing like starting from scratch," she sighed with frustration. She gathered the charts into two piles again, hoping they were in some semblance of order. This was supposed to be her day off. Be that as it may, it did make it easier for her to reschedule some of those appointments for today. One by one she ticked off the names from the morning column, pulling the charts of those she wanted to squeeze in today. Some were easy choices to move to next week, others she made a priority-especially those who were new clients and those who were on the verge of making progress in their therapy.
Moving to the afternoon column in her date book, she stopped when she came to the entry "Mackenzie/Rabb". She had forgotten they were on her schedule for Friday until their names caught her eye. Maddie sat there mulling their situation over for a moment, trying to make the right decision.
In the week the two had been regularly coming to their sessions, they had shown much progress. Maddie chuckled to herself remembering their first session. Their relationship had been so chilly you could have set ice cubes in the room. But with each passing day and each new revelation, they slowly began to put things into perspective, shutting doors and opening windows. She marveled at the unique relationship they had. But despite their unspoken communication, they still seemed to remain blind to what was distinctly in front of them.
Maddie recalled the confused look on Mac's face when she told her she was afraid of finding unconditional love. But watching how Harm showed concern for her during the discussion about her father, she realized that Mac had found that unconditional love in Harm. She probably knew it, but was afraid to acknowledge it. Getting the two of them to acknowledge it would be a challenge, to say the least. That is, if they could get past their fears and put the past behind them.
Idly rolling the pencil between her fingers, Maddie didn't have to give them a second thought. She pulled their chart to the front and taking a post-it note she jotted "11:00 a.m." with a question mark after it and set it aside. Because she had a few more clients to make decisions about, she made up her mind that she would call Mac first, but it would wait until the semi-decent hour of 8:30 a.m.
With a renewed fervor, Maddie continued the rescheduling of her clients. Getting done meant breakfast and a shower, but it also meant another session with Harm and Mac. Despite the fact she tried to distance herself from her clients to keep it professional, she felt a growing bond with them. Besides, she thought, the story of their relationship might become a best seller someday. "The 12 Step Program to Love-JAG Style," Maddie mused out loud with a chuckle before picking up where she left off in her appointment book.
0828 local
Mac's apartment
"Coming!" Mac shouted from the bedroom at the sound of the not-so-gentle knocking on her door. She quickly straightened the pillow on the bed before hurrying to open the door for Harm.
"Hi. You're punctually late, as usual," Mac said holding the door open and watching as he entered the apartment.
"Wouldn't want to be too early otherwise people would start expecting it," Harm replied with a sly smile. "You ready to go?"
"As soon as I get my purse and my shoes," she said walking over to the table to retrieve them from where they were left last night. Slipping on her shoes, Mac made sure she had her keys before turning to leave with Harm. Just as she hit the door, the phone rang.
"Are you expecting any calls?" Harm asked seeing the quizzical look on her face.
"No. I'll just let the machine get it."
"Well, why don't you at least wait to hear who it is first and then we can leave," he suggested. Mac nodded her agreement and waited till the fourth ring, listening as the answering machine picked up. Once her standard announcement played and the machine beeped, a familiar voice came over the speaker.
"Mac? It's Maddie. I was hoping to catch you . . . "
Mac ran over to the phone to take the call before she hung up. She figured that there must be a good reason for it since calling was something she didn't routinely do.
"Maddie-I'm here," she said as she picked up the phone quickly, dropping her purse on the sofa in the process.
"Oh, good, you're there. I didn't wake you, did I?" Maddie inquired.
"No, I've been up a while. What can I do for you?" Mac asked, watching as Harm leaned against the door with his arms crossed, waiting for her.
"I was hoping to move our appointment up from Friday," Maddie continued, "My sister came in from Florida unexpectedly. I decided to take a long weekend and spend some time with her. Rather than postpone our session until next week, I had a free hour to squeeze you both in right around lunch. Would that be okay?"
"Hang on a second, let me check," Mac said before covering the mouthpiece to speak to Harm in a semi-hushed voice. "It's Maddie-she wants to know if we can meet today rather than tomorrow. Is that okay?"
Harm paused, wondering if changing their appointment was the right thing, mainly because of Mac. He didn't want to see her put through the wringer again today like she was yesterday. But Maddie obviously had some underlying reason for wanting to see them sooner than later. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess it's okay. What do you think?"
"It's fine with me," Mac replied casually, "I don't see any reason why we shouldn't change it."
"Then tell her it's alright," Harm said motioning with his hand. For as much as he wanted to say no, he couldn't. Mac truly seemed to be fine with the change in their appointment, so there weren't any grounds for him to have a problem with it either.
Mac uncovered the mouthpiece, "Um, Maddie? That would be okay. What time were you thinking?"
"How about 11:00? That would still give you the rest of the day to do whatever. Do you think that it'll be a problem for Harm? I was planning on calling him after I spoke to you?"
"No, you don't have to. He's right here with me. We were on our way out for breakfast. And 1100 sounds fine." Harm checked his watch and nodded his head, indicating to Mac that he was in fact okay with the time as well.
"Oh," Maddie said shocked, trying desperately to hide the surprised tone of her voice. "Well, I . . . um . . . guess that saves me a phone call." Suddenly she was at a loss for words. So many questions were dancing in her mind-why was Harm at Mac's so early? Or, did he spend the night? Were they making more than progress? Maddie had to shake her head to chase those thoughts away. Mac's voice drew her back from the land of unanswered questions.
"Well, I guess we'll see you at 1100 then. Maddie?"
"I . . . um . . . I'm here. I was just, uh, making note of it," she fibbed, continuing to try to cover up the shock and awe she was experiencing. "So 11:00 it is. I'll see you then. Bye Mac," Maddie said quickly as she hung up the phone. She was desperate to end the conversation before she'd say something to embarrass herself further.
"Well, I'll be damned," she exclaimed, slapping her hand on her knee. Her little shout and the crack of her hand scared Zolly enough to cause the cat to run from the room. Maddie couldn't help herself, though. These two continued to have surprises up their sleeves. If it wasn't crashing F-14's or aborted weddings, it was the breakfast club.
"I wonder where this session's going to take us today. Maybe I won't have to lock them in a room together after all, right Zolly . . . Zolly?" Maddie said, realizing she was having a conversation with herself at the moment, since the other half of her team scampered out of the room in search of a quieter place to nap.
Same time
Mac's Apartment
After hanging up the phone with Maddie, Mac grabbed her purse from where she dropped it on the sofa. She double checked for her keys again before striding over to Harm, who was still stationed by the door.
"So?" he said in more of a question than a statement. He wanted to find an opening to make sure that they were doing the right thing with their appointment. For as fluent as he could be in the courtroom, he sometimes felt that he lacked the right vocabulary when it came to interpersonal relations. Case in point was the little outburst in Judge Sebring's courtroom that got their butts into therapy in the first place. And then of course their "meeting" with the Admiral afterward was, to say the least, tense.
Mac halted her trek through the door of her apartment and turned around to face Harm saying, "What?" her voice equally reflecting the confusion that showed on her face.
"So, what do you think?" Harm queried again, this time putting words together to form a somewhat coherent sentence. He stood there, hands in his pockets, scrutinizing her visually. Trying to read her sometimes was like trying to read the newspaper upside down-it made him dizzy as hell.
"About breakfast? I'm hungry-let's go," she said trying to be funny about it.
"Not about breakfast, about our appointment."
"It's at 1100 like I told you. Now come on, let's go," Mac said, making her way out into the hallway outside her apartment.
"That's not what I meant, Mac. I mean are you okay with having another session so soon," Harm continued with sensitivity. He was getting the distinct impression that she truly didn't understand what he meant. And if she did, she certainly wasn't about to let him know it. But either way, he didn't want her to feel like she was being pushed into anything. This therapy was about both of them, although lately it seemed to be more about Mac.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she countered, wondering where he was going with all this. Looking directly at him, she saw that Harm had that worried look on his face-the kind he gets when something is troubling him deep down and he doesn't know how to talk about it. She had seen that look before-the night she came to him when Mic left-right after Renee' showed up.
Mac sighed and looked away from him, seemingly at a loss for words. She also knew if she looked into those eyes again, all would be lost. She knew where he was going with all this. And it touched her deep in the part of her heart she thought was lost, awakening her soul. So many words were filling her head like 'I'm sorry we're going through this' and 'I couldn't do this without you' to 'Hold me and I know it'll all be alright'. But when she opened her mouth to speak, "I'm really fine with this, Harm," were the only words that made it to the surface of her tongue. Those words lingered in the air around them momentarily before drifting on a breeze out the door.
Harm decided to take her words at face value. Not that it would stop him from worrying about her-that was something inherent for him. He gave Mac a slight smile, before following her out the door, placing his hand gently on her back as she strode in front of him. The sound of the door closing sent a gentle thud echoing in the hall behind them.
0735 local (Thursday)
Mount Vernon, VA
Maddie yawned for what seemed to be the hundredth time as she sat crossed-legged on the carpeted floor in the living room of her home. Still in her pajamas, she felt bleary-eyed after reviewing the files that were spread out before her. The one thing she hated doing more than anything was rescheduling appointments, however this was the one time she had to make an exception. When it came to family, she would always make the exception. And she considered her sister's impromptu visit a most important one.
Deborah, who was ten years younger than Maddie, had moved to Florida shortly after her marriage 4 years ago. But having married a dedicated Air Force pilot, she was often left alone when he was deployed, as was the case this time. Except now his deployment, coupled with the threat of conflict in the Middle East, caused her visit to become an urgent one-needing to be with her family. Despite the age difference, they were quite close, with Maddie being the ever protective older sister. She knew what Deb was going through, having married military herself. However, her husband was now retired and working in relative safety as a defense contractor. Understanding her sister's present state of mind, she decided that she needed her undivided attention for the few days that she would be here.
So now she sat here with her appointment book nestled in her lap, putting her charts in order of their Friday appointments. One pile included all of Friday's morning appointments, the other had all the afternoon appointments, with Zoloft curled up between the two. She had the daunting task of deciding who needed to be scheduled for today and who would be fitted into next weeks' schedule. Brushing the hair out of her eyes, Maddie sighed, "Note to self, hire a damn secretary next time." Deciding the hair was becoming annoying, she took the clip out and rearranged it to keep it off her face. "Second note to self, get a haircut," she said, frustrated by how her morning was starting. Her not so silent musings woke Zolly from his nap. The furry feline yawned and stretched his body out between the stacks of charts. His outstretched paws caused both carefully stacked piles to go sprawling across the carpet.
"Zoloft!" Maddie cried, exasperated. "You are NOT my idea of a secretary!"
He looked at Maddie in confusion, wondering what the fuss was. Zolly stood up and meowed loudly before stealthily walking toward her. He then adeptly curled up in her lap on top of the open appointment book. With a chirp and a flick of his tail, he rubbed his head against her arm, as if apologetically.
"That's not going to get you anywhere this time, Mister," she said firmly, attempting to maneuver around the already comfortable creature in her lap. Zolly continued to trill and chirp while he snuggled closer to Maddie, obviously as repentant as a cat could be.
"Okay, okay, I still love you," Maddie said, rubbing his head and giving in to the affections of her persistent cat. "Now please, find somewhere else to nap and maybe we'll go to PetSmart later for some treats, okay?"
As if understanding what she meant, Zolly leapt out of Maddie's lap and ambled toward the sofa, jumping up and making a bed out of one of her chenille pillows.
"Nothing like starting from scratch," she sighed with frustration. She gathered the charts into two piles again, hoping they were in some semblance of order. This was supposed to be her day off. Be that as it may, it did make it easier for her to reschedule some of those appointments for today. One by one she ticked off the names from the morning column, pulling the charts of those she wanted to squeeze in today. Some were easy choices to move to next week, others she made a priority-especially those who were new clients and those who were on the verge of making progress in their therapy.
Moving to the afternoon column in her date book, she stopped when she came to the entry "Mackenzie/Rabb". She had forgotten they were on her schedule for Friday until their names caught her eye. Maddie sat there mulling their situation over for a moment, trying to make the right decision.
In the week the two had been regularly coming to their sessions, they had shown much progress. Maddie chuckled to herself remembering their first session. Their relationship had been so chilly you could have set ice cubes in the room. But with each passing day and each new revelation, they slowly began to put things into perspective, shutting doors and opening windows. She marveled at the unique relationship they had. But despite their unspoken communication, they still seemed to remain blind to what was distinctly in front of them.
Maddie recalled the confused look on Mac's face when she told her she was afraid of finding unconditional love. But watching how Harm showed concern for her during the discussion about her father, she realized that Mac had found that unconditional love in Harm. She probably knew it, but was afraid to acknowledge it. Getting the two of them to acknowledge it would be a challenge, to say the least. That is, if they could get past their fears and put the past behind them.
Idly rolling the pencil between her fingers, Maddie didn't have to give them a second thought. She pulled their chart to the front and taking a post-it note she jotted "11:00 a.m." with a question mark after it and set it aside. Because she had a few more clients to make decisions about, she made up her mind that she would call Mac first, but it would wait until the semi-decent hour of 8:30 a.m.
With a renewed fervor, Maddie continued the rescheduling of her clients. Getting done meant breakfast and a shower, but it also meant another session with Harm and Mac. Despite the fact she tried to distance herself from her clients to keep it professional, she felt a growing bond with them. Besides, she thought, the story of their relationship might become a best seller someday. "The 12 Step Program to Love-JAG Style," Maddie mused out loud with a chuckle before picking up where she left off in her appointment book.
0828 local
Mac's apartment
"Coming!" Mac shouted from the bedroom at the sound of the not-so-gentle knocking on her door. She quickly straightened the pillow on the bed before hurrying to open the door for Harm.
"Hi. You're punctually late, as usual," Mac said holding the door open and watching as he entered the apartment.
"Wouldn't want to be too early otherwise people would start expecting it," Harm replied with a sly smile. "You ready to go?"
"As soon as I get my purse and my shoes," she said walking over to the table to retrieve them from where they were left last night. Slipping on her shoes, Mac made sure she had her keys before turning to leave with Harm. Just as she hit the door, the phone rang.
"Are you expecting any calls?" Harm asked seeing the quizzical look on her face.
"No. I'll just let the machine get it."
"Well, why don't you at least wait to hear who it is first and then we can leave," he suggested. Mac nodded her agreement and waited till the fourth ring, listening as the answering machine picked up. Once her standard announcement played and the machine beeped, a familiar voice came over the speaker.
"Mac? It's Maddie. I was hoping to catch you . . . "
Mac ran over to the phone to take the call before she hung up. She figured that there must be a good reason for it since calling was something she didn't routinely do.
"Maddie-I'm here," she said as she picked up the phone quickly, dropping her purse on the sofa in the process.
"Oh, good, you're there. I didn't wake you, did I?" Maddie inquired.
"No, I've been up a while. What can I do for you?" Mac asked, watching as Harm leaned against the door with his arms crossed, waiting for her.
"I was hoping to move our appointment up from Friday," Maddie continued, "My sister came in from Florida unexpectedly. I decided to take a long weekend and spend some time with her. Rather than postpone our session until next week, I had a free hour to squeeze you both in right around lunch. Would that be okay?"
"Hang on a second, let me check," Mac said before covering the mouthpiece to speak to Harm in a semi-hushed voice. "It's Maddie-she wants to know if we can meet today rather than tomorrow. Is that okay?"
Harm paused, wondering if changing their appointment was the right thing, mainly because of Mac. He didn't want to see her put through the wringer again today like she was yesterday. But Maddie obviously had some underlying reason for wanting to see them sooner than later. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess it's okay. What do you think?"
"It's fine with me," Mac replied casually, "I don't see any reason why we shouldn't change it."
"Then tell her it's alright," Harm said motioning with his hand. For as much as he wanted to say no, he couldn't. Mac truly seemed to be fine with the change in their appointment, so there weren't any grounds for him to have a problem with it either.
Mac uncovered the mouthpiece, "Um, Maddie? That would be okay. What time were you thinking?"
"How about 11:00? That would still give you the rest of the day to do whatever. Do you think that it'll be a problem for Harm? I was planning on calling him after I spoke to you?"
"No, you don't have to. He's right here with me. We were on our way out for breakfast. And 1100 sounds fine." Harm checked his watch and nodded his head, indicating to Mac that he was in fact okay with the time as well.
"Oh," Maddie said shocked, trying desperately to hide the surprised tone of her voice. "Well, I . . . um . . . guess that saves me a phone call." Suddenly she was at a loss for words. So many questions were dancing in her mind-why was Harm at Mac's so early? Or, did he spend the night? Were they making more than progress? Maddie had to shake her head to chase those thoughts away. Mac's voice drew her back from the land of unanswered questions.
"Well, I guess we'll see you at 1100 then. Maddie?"
"I . . . um . . . I'm here. I was just, uh, making note of it," she fibbed, continuing to try to cover up the shock and awe she was experiencing. "So 11:00 it is. I'll see you then. Bye Mac," Maddie said quickly as she hung up the phone. She was desperate to end the conversation before she'd say something to embarrass herself further.
"Well, I'll be damned," she exclaimed, slapping her hand on her knee. Her little shout and the crack of her hand scared Zolly enough to cause the cat to run from the room. Maddie couldn't help herself, though. These two continued to have surprises up their sleeves. If it wasn't crashing F-14's or aborted weddings, it was the breakfast club.
"I wonder where this session's going to take us today. Maybe I won't have to lock them in a room together after all, right Zolly . . . Zolly?" Maddie said, realizing she was having a conversation with herself at the moment, since the other half of her team scampered out of the room in search of a quieter place to nap.
Same time
Mac's Apartment
After hanging up the phone with Maddie, Mac grabbed her purse from where she dropped it on the sofa. She double checked for her keys again before striding over to Harm, who was still stationed by the door.
"So?" he said in more of a question than a statement. He wanted to find an opening to make sure that they were doing the right thing with their appointment. For as fluent as he could be in the courtroom, he sometimes felt that he lacked the right vocabulary when it came to interpersonal relations. Case in point was the little outburst in Judge Sebring's courtroom that got their butts into therapy in the first place. And then of course their "meeting" with the Admiral afterward was, to say the least, tense.
Mac halted her trek through the door of her apartment and turned around to face Harm saying, "What?" her voice equally reflecting the confusion that showed on her face.
"So, what do you think?" Harm queried again, this time putting words together to form a somewhat coherent sentence. He stood there, hands in his pockets, scrutinizing her visually. Trying to read her sometimes was like trying to read the newspaper upside down-it made him dizzy as hell.
"About breakfast? I'm hungry-let's go," she said trying to be funny about it.
"Not about breakfast, about our appointment."
"It's at 1100 like I told you. Now come on, let's go," Mac said, making her way out into the hallway outside her apartment.
"That's not what I meant, Mac. I mean are you okay with having another session so soon," Harm continued with sensitivity. He was getting the distinct impression that she truly didn't understand what he meant. And if she did, she certainly wasn't about to let him know it. But either way, he didn't want her to feel like she was being pushed into anything. This therapy was about both of them, although lately it seemed to be more about Mac.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she countered, wondering where he was going with all this. Looking directly at him, she saw that Harm had that worried look on his face-the kind he gets when something is troubling him deep down and he doesn't know how to talk about it. She had seen that look before-the night she came to him when Mic left-right after Renee' showed up.
Mac sighed and looked away from him, seemingly at a loss for words. She also knew if she looked into those eyes again, all would be lost. She knew where he was going with all this. And it touched her deep in the part of her heart she thought was lost, awakening her soul. So many words were filling her head like 'I'm sorry we're going through this' and 'I couldn't do this without you' to 'Hold me and I know it'll all be alright'. But when she opened her mouth to speak, "I'm really fine with this, Harm," were the only words that made it to the surface of her tongue. Those words lingered in the air around them momentarily before drifting on a breeze out the door.
Harm decided to take her words at face value. Not that it would stop him from worrying about her-that was something inherent for him. He gave Mac a slight smile, before following her out the door, placing his hand gently on her back as she strode in front of him. The sound of the door closing sent a gentle thud echoing in the hall behind them.