Name: What No One Knew

By: Softballsweeti11

Disclaimer: "Well, I must say Mrs. Rowling, I absolutely adore your books, and I'm quite sad that I don't own them! So, tea next Saturday? Yes? Smashing. Toodles!"

Summary: (Set in the marauders' 7th year) Marauders- Peter, Remus, Sirius, and James, but there was another, one other, Head Girl and James's best friend, Lily Evans. And though James doesn't realize, Lily is desperately in love with him, though he remains oblivious to her secret pine for him. Britney, James' girlfriend on the other hand, has definitely noticed this. Being the wench she is; she of course retaliates.

A/N the songs are in italics. The first one is My Immortal by Evanescence and the last one is Tourniquet by Evanescence.

Chapter 12

The Life of Lily

Two months after Lily found out the Marauder's secret

"James, can I talk to you? Just a moment…" Lily said, trying to pull him away from the rest of Marauders and out of the common room.

"Yes, Lily, you wanted to say something?" He said, as Lily was just standing there, very nervous.

She looked hesitant, but eventually she came to and blurted out, as though trying to get it over with, "I can't be with you anymore James. I can't love you. Bye." She took advantage of his shocked state and ran away. James just stared at where she was standing before and therefore missed the silent tears running down Lily's face as she left. He absent-mindedly patted the pocket of his pants where there was a small box hidden away, and walked back to the common room, not noticing as he pummeled through a group of first years on the way back.

Lily tried to compose herself as she walked down the tunnel to Hogsmeade.

Don't cry. You can't let the premonition come true. What would grandmamma say if she were alive? 'You can change the future; it rests upon your choices.' You can't let James die, you did the right thing. You have this gift for a reason, you have to save James. If you really love him, you'll let him go.

Each minute of each passing day seemed pointless to James. Without Lily in his life, it all meant nothing. The only thought that kept him going, was the thought of the marauders, the only ones he had left. Lily wouldn't even look him in the eye, and all attempts to win her back, or get her to go out with him again were pointless too. His heart was beyond broken, it was shattered. And the only who could fix it, the only one who held all the pieces, was Lily. Lily can't love me? What's that's supposed to mean? Is there something wrong with her? Is there something wrong with me? He summoned the Library's book of reference. As he got it, he began to search under Lily Evans, but it came up empty. After trying Evans, Lily, and getting no response, he started to page through the book for her picture. After a couple of minutes of searching, he came across her picture, but it wasn't her name. He knew that he couldn't have mistaken her picture for someone else's, no one else had that particular shade of color in their eyes, nor paired with the flaming red hair. The name that was there was Lily Trelawney.

The card read:

Birth Name: Lily Trelawney

Date of Birth: January 15, 1960

Gender: Female

Birth Parents: Luci Trelawney(1930-1960)

Robert Trelawney(1930-1961)

Sibling/Siblings: Sibyl Trelawney

Legal Guardians: Jim Evans (uncle)

Carol Evans (aunt)

Sibling/Siblings: Petunia Evans (cousin)

Bio: Luci Trelawney died giving birth to Lily and Robert Trelawney committed suicide shortly after his wife's death. Lily Trelawney was taken in to live with her cousin and her family after their deaths and lost contact with her sister, who was sent to live with another relative. Lily and her sister are the last remaining seers of the Trelawney family, and are descendants of the great seer Cassandra Trelawney, their grandmother. Her name was changed to Lily Evans later on in the year.

James ran back to the common room to see Lily reading on a small red couch. "Why? Why can't you be with me?" he asked her.

Lily was amazed at the straightforwardness of it all. But she knew what she had to do. She calmly answered, "I just can't, it's confusing."

"CONFUSING! DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT 'CONFUSING'!"

By now the whole common room was watching with bated breath. "You want to know why, James?" she asked as she stood up to get to her full height. "Because I don't love you, and I can't believe you ever thought I did." She fought to keep back the tears that were welling up in her eyes, and to keep her cold mask on through her flat-out lie. "Get over yourself, accept it and move on. We're over." Everyone in the room had their jaws scraping against the floor by now, everyone thought that they would never break up, after all, they were Lily and James, the perfect couple.

Once outside, Lily allowed the tears to fall, and then she ran, she ran as fast as she could.

"LILY!" she heard James shout from behind her.

She ran faster.

But it was useless, as he was much faster than her, and was slowly but surely catching up to her. She saw the charms classroom and hurriedly shut the door behind her and cast some charms to keep James out. But she had nowhere to go, she was too high up, so she couldn't jump down out the window, so she ran to Professor Flitwick's office. From there she could take the route to the library. She ran inside and out the other door that led to the secret passage to the library. As she emerged, she ran back to the common room as fast as her legs could take her and up into her dorm. She thought that she was safe because no boys were allowed up the stairs to the girls' dorms, but the marauders figured out how to get past that. So when James came back to the empty common room, he cast the charm on himself and ran up the stairs to the 7th year girl's dorm. He burst open the door in a flash of bright green light. Lily, on the other side saw the green light and it reminded her of a vision she once saw where she had to protect a child, apparently hers, when a cloaked figure with blood-red eyes burst open the door and killed her in a flash of green light. The memories came back and started to haunt her in her consciousness. She let out a blood-curdling scream and curled up into a small ball in the corner of the room whimpering "NO! Just go1 go away! Leave me ALONE! Please….please just leave me alone…please….please….no, please!" as she thought of the figure cloaked in black that came to kill he child and herself. James however saw it as though he had scared Lily that much and she wanted him to go away. James felt wetness at his eyes that he hadn't felt for a very long time, and as the tears threatened to fall, he turned and left the common room, feeling numb all over.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Lily left after a while, and no one could find James, even with the Marauder's Map, so his friends thought that he must have gone to Hogsmeade.

Lily ran to the Astronomy Tower, the tallest tower in Hogwarts, after spending some time in the Hogwarts Library, her safe place. When night came, she snuck out of her dorms and ran to the astronomy tower, while being wary of being caught. For a while she just stood at the edge. The icy wind was constantly thrashing against her skin, but she didn't feel it. She looked out into the darkness of her surroundings and thought, how very like my life, dark. It consumes everything; it overtakes even the biggest mountain. You can't hide from it. It overwhelms the will of consciousness. It's frightening how something so plain, so normal, so blank like the blackness can be so powerful. The battle inside my mind rages, I can feel it. There's still a part of me that wants to remain in this world, to see life as it is being lived. But then there's the part of me that just wants to disappear, to give in to the black. But no matter how hard the mountain tries, it will always be overtaken by the darkness of the night, for even the moon, the last light, the last hope, goes out...

She jumped, and this time, no one was there to catch her...

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

I want to die!!!

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide