"The Courting of Uzumaki Naruto"
by The Carpet Shampoo
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor am I intelligent enough to.
Author's Commentary: Sorry about the whole 'uploading the wrong chapter thing'. Usually, I write my very best late at night, hence my chapters get uploaded late too. My mind must have been burnt out completely. But hey, if any of you guys are KH fans and liked what you read, the first 5 or chapters of that story are posted, and under my name too. Check them out, okay? ^^
Chapter 3: The Tournament of Love!
It was the third day now, since spring had hit Konoha village. Naruto blinked and rubbed his eyes sleepily as the first rays of sunlight poked through his window and fell on his face. He opened his clear blue eyes a little wider and saw Gaara hanging from the ceiling over his bed, staring at him. Naruto blinked again, then rolled over, tugging the covers up over his head.
"Just five more minutes Gaara…" Naruto snuggled in closer to the warm blankets and began dozing off again, when suddenly, something clicked in his mind.
Gaara.
Gaara was in his room.
Naruto sprang out of bed with a yell and backed up against the wall.
"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" Gaara expertly flipped down and landed in front of Naruto, smiling creepily and wordlessly pointing to Konohamaru. Naruto looked where he was pointing and saw Konohamaru smiling sheepishly. Naruto's eyes grew wide as he looked around the room.
Neji was calmly seated at the table, looking bored out of his mind and tapping his fingers against the table. Shino sat at the table also, using cups of ramen he'd obviously collected off Naruto's floor and using them to prevent a single bug from walking outside a certain area. Sakura and Ino were both in the kitchen, and unless Naruto's nose served him wrong, they were both cooking. They also both seemed to be having a conversation about who could cook better. Naruto looked around some more and saw Hinata in the corner, her face bright red and her eyes looking down at the ground. They occasionally darted over towards the door as if she was about to run for it. Kiba was seated on the ground watching Akamaru chew on a ramen cup.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE ANY OF YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!" Naruto yelled, glaring at Konohamaru.
"Can you keep it down? Sheesh, I'm trying to sleep…" Naruto glanced over back into the direction of his bed and saw that sometime in the confusion, Shikamaru had lain down in his bed and was quite obviously trying to sleep there. Shikamaru gave Naruto an annoyed look and closed his eyes again.
Gaara watched as Shikamaru fell asleep in Naruto's bed, and then turned to Naruto himself.
"So many people…each one actually believing they have a chance. They don't know that you and I are identical in soul, thus making us soul mates…"
"Oh shut up badger-boy!" Ino leaned out of the kitchen to glare at Gaara, "For your information, Naruto doesn't even like your gender, much less your creepiness." Sakura nodded furiously from behind Ino somewhere.
"Hmph. Naruto may not like my gender, but he can tolerate that more than your ugliness." Gaara retorted calmly.
"Yeah! What he said!" Kiba yelled, jumping to his feet. Sakura stepped out into full view here.
"Oh yeah? Well Ino may be ugly, but at least she doesn't smell like a wet dog!" Ino nodded furiously to agree with Sakura's words, not really seeming to even hear them.
"Well, Kiba may smell like a wet dog, but at least he doesn't look like a man!" Shino shouted back to Ino.
"Ino may look like a man, but at least she doesn't look like a bug!" Sakura shouted back in defense of her friend.
"Shino may look like a bug, but you're all acting like children." Neji retorted calmly, shutting the whole room up. A soft breeze came through the window and fluttered Neji's hair uplifting strands gently and dropping them back into perfect places.
Kiba burped loudly, breaking the silence and starting up the argument again.
"Naruto doesn't even like boys!"
"Naruto doesn't like fat girls either!"
"Naruto doesn't like freaky bug guys either!"
"He doesn't like people who smell!"
"Naruto hates people with pink hair!"
"Naruto hates shrimp!"
Everyone slowly began yelling louder and louder, each voice trying to top the last as they shouted the faults of each other and announced loudly all the things Naruto loved and hated.
"I SAID QUIET!" Everyone fell silent and looked over at a very annoyed Shikamaru.
"Must you all be so loud? I'm trying to sleep, Sakura and Ino, you've both burnt the food you were cooking for Naruto – " The girls disappeared in the kitchen quickly " – and yes, Kiba you do smell like a dog, Hinata, no one can see you there, Gaara you're weird, Shino you're dumb, and Neji, you look like a girl. There, we're all insulted equally, let's just be quiet now."
"Actually, while everyone's quiet…I have a plan for deciding who gets to win Naruto's heart."
"Don't I get any say in this?" asked Naruto stepping forwards slightly.
"Nope! I've already made up a plan!"
"Is it a fighting tournament?" Gaara asked hopefully, looking around at all the other ninjas. Neji looked mildly interested at that concept, Hinata looked terrified, Shino continued playing with his bug.
"No, not a fighting tournament…but it is a tournament of sorts. We'll gather up some judges, and over the course of several days, you will be judged and critiqued by how romantic you are. The most romantic will win the tournament and Naruto. Who's in?" Gaara thought the whole concept over for a minute and then nodded slowly.
"I'll join in…as I'm sure Naruto wants me too…" Gaara smiled creepily again before reaching out and taking Naruto's hand. He kissed it once, then disappeared before Naruto could retaliate.
Sakura stepped forward. "As the only one Naruto's ever admitted to liking, I'm an obvious contestant for this contest." Ino pushed in front of her. "And because I have to show the whole world I'm better than Sakura, I'm in too!" She smirked back at Sakura before sauntering off out of Naruto's apartment. Sakura growled and followed in hot pursuit.
Kiba grinned and gave Naruto a thumbs up. "Of course I'm in! Akamaru and I will come up with the best plans!"
"Your dog does your thinking for you? I'm not surprised…Count me in." Neji added.
"Me too," said Shino. Naruto glanced over at Hinata who blushed and nodded furiously before scampering out, pushing in front of Neji, Shino and Kiba to leave. Naruto looked at Shikamaru, who seemed to be dozing off on his bed.
"Troublesome, yes…" Shikamaru said opening one eye, "but I suppose I'll do it…after all, I spent the energy coming here, might as well see it through at this point." Shikamaru pulled himself out of Naruto's bed and slowly walked off. Naruto sighed and went outside to get some much needed fresh air. Konohamaru followed obediently.
"By the way Naruto, some people have already volunteered to judge. Kakashi said he should do it since he's your teacher, Iruka-sensei said that he should since he knows you best, and some weird creepy guy with huge eyebrows said since he was the most romantic, he should judge too. His little clone agreed with him, so I figured, why not? The three of them will be judging, if that's all right."
"S'pose that's fine…" Naruto bent down, seeing an envelope laying on the ground. Another one…? He looked around, but only saw Kiba and Akamaru there.
"Did you drop this?" he called out, waving the envelope.
"Didn't even see it there…Maybe Shikamaru did, he was the only one to leave after me. Or could have been Hinata in all her rush." Naruto shrugged and opened it up, holding it higher this time so Konohamaru couldn't read it.
My dear Naruto…
I see the cherry blossoms in bloom and I think of you. The blossoms remind me of you in a way, one that I cannot explain. Perhaps because they are the most beautiful flower of the most beautiful season, so rare and delicate. Like them, you my Naruto are the best of the best, the beautiful of the beautiful, and you deserved to be celebrated, as we celebrate the cherry blossom each year for all the wonder it brings. My Naruto, I look forward to seeing you at the cherry blossom festival this year. It seems best that I reveal my self then, don't you agree?
-Your secret admirer
Naruto blushed furiously and shoved the letter in his pocket.
Who the heck is sending these…?
Author's Commentary: This chapter falls just slightly shorter than the others, but that's because I can't really go further in the story without getting into the next part of the story, which is, as you know, the main plot. Sorry again for the confusion on Chapter 2, I hope the early gift of Chapter 3 makes up for any inconvenience.