Chapter 3
"They are asleep." Max returned to the living room and sank down on the corner of the couch closest to Logan.
"Good."
"You know, what you told Jason, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but…"
"It's okay, Max."
"Must've been hard for you, huh?"
"I survived." He shrugged.
Max nodded, knowing that he wouldn't want to talk about it anymore. "Do you also wanna go to bed?"
"I guess I should." He checked his watch. "Listen, Max…ahem…my bed is fairly big enough. I don't want you to have to crash on the couch."
She looked up in surprise, her heart suddenly beating twice as fast.
"We're adults…" He continued, slightly uncomfortable.
"Yeah, no big deal…" Max agreed.
Logan grinned at her shyly. "You just come when you're ready."
"Cool, thanks." Max thought that she should have refused the offer, but she hadn't wanted to! She trusted him that nothing would happen that they weren't ready for, but maybe this was a beginning- or maybe he was just being nice and she interpreted something into it that wasn't even there. But there had been something about the way he had looked at her…
Max waited until the sounds from his bathroom and bedroom had ceased. She knew he wanted his privacy; he had always protected it, persistently refusing any invasion, even if it would have been for his own good. She could recall more than a dozen times when she had found Bling sitting in the kitchen, fuming over the stubbornness of his patient and friend.
She had taken her comfortable sweatpants and t-shirt from the guest bedroom where the kids were sleeping tonight earlier and now slid into the smaller bathroom to get changed and ready for bed. Carefully she sneaked into Logan's bedroom, not wanting to wake him in case he was already asleep. But in the darkness she could immediately make out his wide-open eyes. He wasn't wearing his glasses; it made him look younger, more vulnerable.
"I'd say you're welcome to switch on the light, but that's redundant, I guess," Logan whispered.
"I'm pretty okay as it is," Max agreed.
"There is a spare blanket in the closet. I figured it would be easier for you to reach, upper drawer on the left."
Max found it and soon let herself fall backward into the big bed. "Wow, cosy," she sighed.
Logan watched her amused. She sometimes seemed so much like a child.
She wrapped the blanket around her body and adjusted the cushion. It took her a minute to get comfortable.
The only sounds Logan could hear was the rustling of sheets next to him, he kept his eyes closed, harbouring the moment. It had been a while since he had shared his bed- and he had never shared it with someone like Max. In so many ways he loved her more than he had ever loved Val, let alone all his other so-called girlfriends.
He knew that he couldn't lose her, that it would break his heart. But he also knew that he would never get closer than his. That just wasn't how things were supposed to be. Max shouldn't be saddled with a guy like him.
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"Did I already thank you for doing this today?"
"You did, and you don't have to anyway."
She was silent for a moment. "It's just, they seemed so happy, you know."
"Yeah."
"You know, have you ever thought about having one?"
"Having what?"
"A child."
Logan sighed. "I thought about it today, when I watched them," he started in a low voice. "You know, when you are young, you try to imagine what your life will be like ten years in the future, things like that. And I always saw myself with a family, a loving wife, two or three beautiful kids, a dog, a house with a front yard and picket fence." He snorted. "Kitschy, huh?"
"What happened to this dream?"
"The pulse happened, Val happened. It just wasn't the right time, or the right place, or the right wife. And now - it's never been further out of reach than it is now. No use even thinking about it."
Max rolled towards him, watching his face intently in the darkness. She could see deep sadness there, desperation, regret. "You really believe that, don't you?"
His eyes locked on hers in the dim light the snow outside provided, anger now mixing with the previous emotions. "Of course, Max. This is the reality of my life." His voice sounded harsh, but Max knew that he was just trying to hide the pain he really felt.
"It doesn't have to be that way," she whispered.
"Max, don't…"
She gently touched his cheek and caressed it lightly.
He held his breath. What the hell was she doing? Why was she doing it?
"I don't want your pity, Max. You don't have to feel sorry for me." He desperately tried to hold on to his convictions.
"I don't feel sorry for you, you moron," she gave back. She also drew her hand away. "Sorry about that, though. Lousy come on."
"You really meant it?"
"Sure I did. You ever saw me do something or say something I didn't really mean?"
"No, it's just…"
"It's what, Logan?"
"I…I don't understand why you of all people would…"
"Shut up. I don't care about any of your shit. You should have realized that by now. You are the best person I ever met, period."
Logan looked at her for a long moment before he stretched out his hand to caress her cheek like she had done before. "So are you."
Eventually their barriers crumpled and Max slid closer, accepting his embrace and the soft kiss. They both felt that they would have to take it slow so they eventually drifted off to a peaceful sleep in each others arms.
TBC
There is one more chapter left waiting to be posted!