"The Courting of Uzumaki Naruto"
By The Carpet Shampoo
Disclaimer: Feh…
Author's Commentary: Whee! I'm back, finally with a bit of inspiration. BTW, I'm totally open to writing anything, did I ever mention that? I love Naruto x Sasuke to pieces, but there are so many fans of so many different couples! I've already got out a Naruto x Gaara fic, but is there any other couple anyone really wants to see? Fans of all couples are reading this, so I figure it's a good place to ask.
Fics currently in Progress: "Grave of Roses" SasuNaru "Sasuke Lovers Anonymous" prolly SasuNaru, "Monster" GaaraNaru "Maybe Tomorrow" NaruHina Some of this stuff though may never make it, I'm sad to say. I don't particularly care for NaruSaku…but there seems to be such a big fandom for it! I might just have to write one…I have an idea, but would anyone be interested in reading it if I wrote?
Chapter 7: That's when things got dirty…
"UZUMAKI NARUTO HOW DARE YOU SKIP OUR DATE?!"
Yes, that was what Naruto up from a nice evening nap after a long mission all day. Sakura, his pink-haired teammate, in his room, screaming. He had been asleep but five minutes when the yelling began, and he found himself trying very hard not to doze off during her lecture.
~Interlude: Sasuke~
This whole incident had began this morning. As suddenly as the young ninjas of Konoha had discovered they had fallen in love with the golden haired boy known as Uzumaki Naruto, they had overnight all come to a similar conclusion. They were not going to win this competition if they did not play fair. And with this sudden revelation, the courting of Uzumaki Naruto became a whole new game to the young ninjas.
The genius of Konoha, Uchiha Sasuke, however, had long come to this conclusion however.
Uchiha Sasuke sat over his desk, stacks and stacks of shojo manga and romance novels scattered about. He flipped through yet another romance novel, glancing over the words as he did so. He scribbled down something on a small piece of parchment, then leaned back and sighed.
His plan couldn't have gone anymore perfectly, and yet, it couldn't have gone any worse. There was no way he was lowering himself to become part of some stupid competition just for a shot at a date with Naruto. So Sasuke decided it would just be easier to sabotage the competition.
Sakura had always been dear to him as a teammate, but Sasuke had been around Naruto long enough to know that Naruto liked the pink-haired girl. So, Sakura was the first date Sasuke decided to ruin.
He had started by finding out when Naruto's date with Sakura was. Then the day before the date, Sasuke told Naruto they had a mission together the next day. Naruto fell for it like a charm, and Step One was complete.
Step Two was staging a mission. Sasuke told Naruto their mission was to find four lost chickens that belonged to some lady. They were rumored to be lost near Konoha. What Naruto didn't know, was that Sasuke had released the chickens himself. He told Naruto that the chickens had collars on (which had been a terribly hard task, even for Sasuke), each numbering the chickens. So they had chicken number 1, chicken number 2, and chicken number 4. Just a little precaution Sasuke took to ensure they'd search all day.
And by searching all day, Naruto had completely missed the date he and Sakura were supposed to go on. But Naruto had been so busy making chicken noises, he failed to realize the fact that he should be taking advantage of his time alone with Sasuke. Sasuke supposed all plans couldn't go perfectly.
~End Interlude~
"Wha..? But Sakura-chan, I was on a mission all day…I didn't have time for a date. Sasuke said that we had a mission and I went…"
"Sasuke…he must be mad that I don't love him anymore and he's trying to sabotage this whole thing for me!" (Somewhere, Sasuke sneezed).
Naruto nodded, relieved someone agreed with him and he wasn't just imagining the whole Sasuke trying to sabotage the competition. But there was a more important problem here at hand. How on Earth was Naruto supposed to make this up to Sakura?
"Um…Sakura-chan?"
"What is it Naruto?" the pink haired girl snapped back.
"Would you um…like to go on a date with me?" Sakura stared at Naruto, wondering for a moment if he was serious. Finally she shrugged and nodded.
"Why not?" Naruto brightened up immediately. He grabbed his wallet, shoved it in his pocket, all his earlier tiredness seemingly forgotten.
"Come on Sakura-chan, let's go!" Naruto grabbed the pink haired girl and, rather ungracefully, dragged her out the door.
"All right Lee, now you know the plan right?"
"I know it Shino, but it just doesn't seem right to me…" Shino looked surprised, not that you could really tell being that he was wearing his sunglasses and his collar was up so high.
"Lee…you already agreed to this. We need to sabotage Sakura and Naruto's date. That way, you can have Sakura, and I get Naruto."
"I know Shino, I know…but still, putting bugs in Sakura's ramen seems a little extreme…why not put them in Naruto's ramen instead?"
"Because Naruto wouldn't notice and he would eat them."
"Oh…I guess you're right. But why do I have to do this Shino? They're your bugs, you put them in the ramen!"
"You're the only one fast enough!"
"All right…" And with that Lee was off. Shino remained behind to pray for the souls of the bugs that were to be sacrificed in the name of love.
"AIEEE! There's a BUG in this ramen!" Sakura jumped up and away from the bowl of ramen, shuddering all over from the bug that had made its way into her food. Naruto casually leaned over, picked the bug out and examined it between his chopsticks.
"Oi, Sakura-chan, come here and look at this."
"NO! I'm not getting near that gross little thing!"
"I think this is one of Shino's bugs…"
"Shino's bugs…you mean, more sabotage?"
"That's what I'm thinking…The ramen bar is way too good of a restaurant to let bugs get in the food!" Naruto released the ramen covered bug then checked to make sure Sakura's food had no more bugs in it.
"No more," reported Naruto, "so you can go ahead and keep eating Sakura." Sakura looked positively disgusted as Naruto offered her the ramen again.
"I think I've lost my appetite…"
"Suit yourself!" Naruto said with a grin as he ate what remained of Sakura's ramen. Sakura just shook her head. Boys could be so gross sometimes. Sakura started back towards her seat.
Or rather, she tried to anyway.
Lee returned to Shino and the two of them sat and watched Naruto and Sakura's date from a distance.
"Quick Lee! Gaara's already on step two! Kiba's going to be moving in any second now and you need to be down there for step four!" Lee blinked and turned, his own eyes confirming what Shino's saw as he took off back towards Sakura.
Sakura meanwhile was struggling with the fact her feet had been trapped by what appeared a good amount of sand.
"Naruto! Naruto….help me out here!" The blond ninja looked up from Sakura's ramen to notice what was going on. He noticed Gaara standing a few feet away, not even bothering to conceal himself as the sand poured out from the gourd in his back. Naruto moved to help Sakura when something small darted around by his feet. Naruto blinked and looked up to see Akamaru sitting a few feet away with a rope in his mouth. Naruto looked down to see that when the puppy had been running around, it had been looping the rope around Naruto's legs.
"Why you…" Naruto moved towards the puppy, who suddenly yanked hard on the rope, causing it to tighten around Naruto's legs suddenly. Naruto crashed right down into the ground. Naruto looked around and thought he saw Kiba in the shadows, no doubt holding the other end of the rope that was so tightly binding Naruto.
Naruto could only watch helplessly as Ino showed up with Hinata and Neji. She used her favorite jutsu to take over Sakura's mind. Naruto blinked as Sakura signaled to Gaara, who released the bonds, then took off running with Sakura's body. Hinata mumbled a quick apology to Naruto, then she and Neji carried off Ino's body to a safer location.
Gaara walked over and taking full advantage of the tied-up Naruto, planted a soft kiss on the boy's forehead before strolling off casually as if nothing had happened. Akamaru barked and ran off, but Naruto still found himself tangled up in the ropes.
"Hold still…I'll get you out. How stupid can you get, getting all tangled up in a rope like this?" Naruto looked back to see Sasuke untangling the ropes from Naruto's feet.
"Hey Shino, what's Uchiha doing down there?" Neji asked, still supporting Ino's limp form on his back.
"Yeah, Uchiha Sasuke was not part of your plan, was he?" Gaara added. Shino shook his head and sighed.
"Who cares about Uchiha? Mission: Sabotage Sakura's date has been successful."
Iruka sighed from the rooftop as he and the silver-haired jounin Kakashi watched the scene from below.
"I guess we'll be deducting points from everyone except Shikamaru and Sakura, huh?"
Kakashi shook his head.
"Nah…We need to deduct points from Shikamaru too. He's not here now, but this sort of plan has his name written all over it."
Iruka sighed. This was so weird.
Author's Commentary: I hope people are still reading this…NaruSaku fans, I apologize for their date going so badly, but it was needed for plot device! GaaraNaru fans who are reading my other fic "Monster" look for the next chapter really soon, ok?