Jack sat in Karen's mansion with the diary in his hand. He came here as solace. It gave him great peace of mind to be surrounded by Karen's wealth. It reminded of everything he ever wanted in life, a spacious home, beautiful clothes, and a man who give him everything he desired.
"Jackie, what have you got there.?' Karen asked curiously as she swilled her martini.
Jack slowly looked up. "Grace's diary." he said.
Usually Karen would run to the book and page through hoping to find any juicy tidbits. In this case, this book could only bring to the surface any haunting secrets that Grace was harboring.
"I see." said Karen.
"You know I am really worried about Will. He is taking this even harder than I thought he would . Now he is blaming himself for her death. Some nonsense about how she was in love with him." Jack explained.
"You didn't know?" Karen asked. "Oh honey, it was so obvious , that's why her and Leo didn't work out."
"But she knew he was gay?" Jack said surprised.
"Gay, smay, when you love someone it doesn't matter. Like I loved my Stan. Even though he couldn't touch his toes." Karen smiled at the memory of her late husband.
"That can't be the only reason that Grace killed herself. I've got to do this to restore Will's sanity and peace of mind." Jack said.
He and Karen sat down and opened the journal. A flower fell out of the folds of the pages.
I am so miserable right now. Leo can't understand why either. He is perfectly happy to sit in this mud infested hut and help the sick. I could never do something like that because I am too shallow and materialistic. When will Leo see right through this fascade? I think I saw him as my last chance at happiness. Let's face it , I am in my mid thirties and still not married.
As I lay in bed and look at him. I realize that he isn't the man I thought he was. He doesn't thrill me in bed or make me feel good.
I am in love , but not with him. When will I stop picturing Will being the one that makes love to me? He takes me in his strong arms and caresses me with those lips. Oh I have got to stop this , it is going to drive me fucking crazy.
Jack dropped the book. Grace did have a problem with Will being gay. She had never got over that terrible revelation that he made to her that one Thanksgiving. She never wanted to leave Will because deep down in her heart she harbored the fact that one day he would be straight.
"Kare, this is amazing. How could anyone live with so many delusions?' Jack wondered puzzled.
"Maybe that is not why she wanted to live." Karen said plainly.