Credits and Disclaimer: Special thanks to LadyKoneko, my sister, for serving as my beta and guide for my first fan fiction. I don't own the rights to LAWKI or anything else I mention in the story.

Ch 1: All I Want for Christmas

Ben sat in what he called the music room in his parent's house, a giant office space that contained his mother's piano. A solid Black, gold embossed Steinway. The room felt like a museum, thick white-carpeted floor, and soundproof walls made the room unusually quiet. Ben held his head in his hands in tortured thought: resting his elbows on the large drafting table his parents used to compose sheet music. 'How to do this, how to do this' he mouthed continuously to himself. 'Christmas is about family, how do you convince family you'd like to be alone, well sort of. Not really alone, just with someone besides family'. Ben's face eased into a smile at the idea of spending Christmas alone, alone with Monica Young.

It was that very morning Ben's parents announced that his mom, Amanda, had been selected to play the piano at a Christmas recital in Boston. On live television, she would be accompanying the Boston symphony orchestra. The special "A Christmas in Boston" would air on A&E on Christmas Eve. Ben's parents hated the idea of spending the holidays away from Seattle, but the opportunity and the money were too good to pass up. They made plans for the three to travel to Boston on December 22 and return the day after Christmas.

Ben's face twisted back into torment as he continued to draw a blank on any kind of excuse to use to stay home. "I can't even come up with a reason to get myself out of our plans, let alone approach Miss Young about this." Come to think of it he wasn't even sure she would want to. Getting back together with her had been anything but easy, and both of them had really only started to get over the hurt they'd inflicted upon one another.

Two miles away, in the tiny white bungalow, Monica had a grin that stretched from ear to ear. Her own mother had decided to spend Christmas with her brother in California. "I haven't seen him in the longest time," said her mother over the roaring of a vacuum cleaner. Normally being awakened at five in the morning by the sound of her mother's incessant cleaning would have been enough to enrage Monica for the entire day. 'Ding dong witch is dead, witch is dead' Monica hummed to herself as she opened her closet. Since she obviously wasn't going to get anymore sleep; she might as well get some work done. She selected a royal blue cotton sweater, and knee length black skirt. She completed the ensemble with a thin gold-chained Amethyst necklace. Lip-gloss came next, Ben's favorite color, pearl pink. Monica shouldered her purse and walked to her bug, yet as the cold December air hit, her face began to fall. Surely her mother would insist that she come along, and even if she didn't Ben and his family surely had plans. No maybe this wasn't the opportunity she thought it might be. With great disappointment on her face, and a pain in her heart she set out for school.

Ch2 Chasing Down Monica

Ben was still deeply lost in his own thoughts. The music room was the largest room in the house, and somehow the cavernous, sound-absorbing space was ideal for thinking, at least to him. Yet he still couldn't come up any excuse and he was wearing himself out trying. Just then, he glanced to the corner opposite the piano and he saw it, the object that had brought him and Monica back together. Ben's mind immediately wandered back a month or so.

Ben was still dating Sue at the time, and she was nice enough, but Monica's escapades with his brother had shown him that he suffered from a bit of 'grass is greener' syndrome. Miss Young was slowly but surely becoming forbidden fruit again. The day he decided he wanted Monica back; he'd had a fight with Sue over the meaning of some passage in some book. That was the problem with Sue, he concluded, they always challenged each other too much. Ben hated to admit it but he was starting to think that he and Monica actually got along better. The fight had simply assured him of this fact and set his mind turning. And once that started there was no stopping it, Monica Young held an influence over his brain more powerful than any drug modern chemistry had yet to even dream of. Admitting that he was wrong about Sue left Ben with a tough proposition. Getting Monica back: an act which would surely involve apologizing, almost definitely involved gravelling, and probably many other forms contrition. An emotion which any male looks forward to and handles with the all of the subtlety of yanking one's tooth with a pair of pliers.

The morning after he had broke up with Sue, Ben had gone to school early, he was determined to tell Miss Young what was on his mind. Yet when he got to school fate had a cruel surprise waiting for him. He poked his head inside the English classroom; Miss Young was nowhere to be seen. He wandered the halls looking for her, no luck; finally he happened upon Tony, the janitor that had nearly caught them in the supply room when they were first dating. "Do you know where Miss Young is," Ben asked sheepishly? He took an old English paper from his backpack. "I was supposed to give this to her," he lied.

"I think she's with Coach Scott, I saw them in his office not long ago." The reply made Ben's body tense, his face flushed, and suddenly his knuckles went white. Now he began to understand how Dino felt, coach Scott was moving in on new territory, territory that he, Ben, considered sacred.

"Oh okay, I'll check down by the gym." It took every ounce of strength Ben could muster to keep his reply calm and even. Inside his blood was boiling. He placed the paper back in his bag and ran down toward the gym. He slowed as he approached the door to coach Scott's office. In fact he began to sneak like some sort of spy. The door was closed and he couldn't see anything through the frosted glass, 'damn'! Ben placed his backpack on the ground in front of the door and took everything out of it. He scattered papers and books around him so as to look as if he had dropped them, then with his cover in place he began to listen. Behind the door he could hear Miss Young and coach Scott having a conversation, of sorts.

"One of these days my maneuvers are going to be just as good as yours." Monica's voice was soft and sultry.

"I look forward to that pleasure." The sexy reply felt as if it had punched Ben in the stomach.

"Ha ha ha ha ha." Monica's laugh, Monica's beautiful, infectious laugh. Ben couldn't take anymore. He scrambled to pick up his things and ran away, tears in his eyes. There was no way he wanted her back now.

As if the morning hadn't been bad enough, that afternoon Ben had to endure the horror of Miss Young's English class. He buried his head in his desk trying to drown out his mind replaying the conversation he'd overheard. All that came of that however was a daydream: Monica and Coach Scott dancing on stage, Monica and Coach Scott sneaking into the janitor's closet. It was nearly enough to kill him. Miss Young had broken the daydream only once, with some question about Walt Whitman (the class was studying poetry now). "Who in the hell cares," Ben was dazed and blurted without thinking.

"Ben Connor, you know you can't talk like that, I'll see you for detention after school," came Miss Young's terse reply.

That afternoon Ben wandered back into Miss Young's classroom to serve detention. He looked as if even the slightest breeze would knock him over. Miss Young sat at her desk and seemed perfectly content to ignore him. He tried to do likewise, but revulsion was getting the better of him. Finally he looked around and made sure no one else was there, then he got up and shut the classroom door. The sound brought Monica's head up, and her faced twisted into a quizzical what's going on expression.

"Miss Young, Monica, I," Bens voice trailed off.

"Ben, we've done this haven't we, had this talk I mean. You broke it off with me and I have accepted that decision, I gave you a passing grade for the play." Monica was guessing this conversation was to be another assault upon her jealous ways.

Ben swallowed the imaginary tennis ball in his mouth and summoned his courage. "Look I didn't come here to fight with you. We did the battle of the wills thing over the play, I get it, the deck is stacked in your favor. Actually I came here to apologize, or at least I did."

Miss Young's green eyes narrowed to laser points, "Apologize to me?"

"Yes that is before I heard you and Coach Scott in his office this morning. I was actually going to apologize to you, to tell you that I think I'd done some things wrong too. I mean on stage that night I held you and danced with you, and told you that we could do this. I was going to say that I felt like I'd quit on you in some way. But now I find you with Coach Scott. You are flaunting other men in front of me, trying to make me jealous." Ben's tone was angry and accusing.

Ben had wandered over towards Miss Young's desk during his speech. He was now towering over her like a gorilla; he was so much taller than she was, it was intimidating. Monica rose from her chair and stepped back feeling actually slightly threatened by Ben's aggressive posture. Ben just waited patiently, he wasn't threatening her, and Miss Young was clearly contemplating her next response.

"Ben, what I do with my personal life is my business, and coach Scott isn't your brother," Miss Young cringed; it wasn't the response she'd meant. She was actually quite pleased, though his voice was angry Ben had actually just said that he'd wanted to forgive her. "Again, it's not any of your business, but we didn't do anything."

"Then what was all the whispering and giggling," Ben was growing angrier by the second.

"Truth. Truth is we were playing chess." Miss Young almost seemed embarrassed as she said it.

"Wha, playing chess?" Ben's head was spinning, that's what he had gotten so worked up over.

"Look I don't deny that on some level I have been parading other men in front of you. I suppose it's my selfish way of trying to move on. However, Coach Scott and I were just, literally, playing an innocent game of chess. Okay, okay maybe there was some flirting going on, but nothing happened Ben. He always beats me at it and I was playfully asking him how he does it."

There, that was the explanation she'd wanted. She sat back down; Ben suddenly seemed to shrink before her eyes. Her turn to wait while Ben countered with his next words. Ben found himself trying to remain angry, but he couldn't. They were playing a stupid game is all he could think. Ben was silent for nearly ten minutes and the silence began to worry Miss Young. Ben took a heavy breath and broke the tense moment.

"Monica, I meant what I said. I did come here to apologize to you, and I guess now I really do mean it." Ben paused for a moment, his face forming into a positively naughty smile. "In fact I have an idea, would you like to beat Coach Scott?"

Miss Young's turn to have her head spin. Was Ben actually trying to get her back? She thought for nearly as long as he had. Then she broke out into a smile of her own. Electricity shot through Ben's belly as those pretty pink lips smiled back at him.

"I'd love to whip him," Miss Young's voice had softened back into that of a lover.

"Well if there is one thing in this world I can do, its play chess. I can teach you how to wipe the floor with him in no time." Ben was clearly excited and he was about to make an even more brazen offer. "Come over to my house, we have a really nice board there and all kinds of chess books, my dad and I are both nuts about the game."

Miss Young's face turned white, "Ben we can't do that."

"Why, I'll just explain that I'm teaching you to play chess, my dad will buy that."

Miss Young was hit with a sudden surge of pride at how naive Ben was being. It's true she felt as if life was passing her by at times but she was only 23, and she looked good enough that any right-minded parent would believe their 16-year-old son had ulterior motives. "Are you telling me that they won't suspect that you're trying to put some kind of move on me?"

"Swear to god they won't." Ben pleaded with his eyes and Miss Young started to back down. It took another half hour but eventually Miss Young bowed to Ben's wishes. That evening, without knowing it the Connors were introduced to their son's secret past.

Ch 3 Role Reversal

The object in the corner of the music room was an anniversary gift Ben's father had received many years ago. A huge, impeccably conditioned solid marble chess table. The 64 tiles were light gray and dark blue and each one was three inches square. The armies were hand carved in Staunton style1, the white army in Soapstone, the black army in Alabaster. The Kings were a full six inches tall and weighed nearly a pound. Ben walked over and started moving the pieces; he chuckled as he remembered the brash way he'd brought Monica home.

He didn't dare try anything, as his parents really were suspicious. The beauty of the set stole her breath, "how much is this worth," she asked? Ben didn't know for sure, however he felt that ten to twelve thousand was probably a realistic guess. He'd pulled out her chair for her, like a gentleman, and then took his seat, their faces only inches across from one another. Monica placed her delicate hand on a pawn and moved it, "wow, heavy," she complained.

"Okay there are four elements to this game," began Ben. "Force, space, quality, and time." As he instructed, Ben was amazed at how truly intimate this was. Their eyes were constantly meeting, which would cause both to smile at each other. Monica has the world's brightest smile, thought Ben. As moves were made Ben found himself constantly grabbing hold of Monica's hand to correct her. At times he would rise up and pace in circles around the board while he made an important point. He was truly enjoying this.

The lecture proceeded without interruption. Ben remembered how he'd felt giving it. It was a kind of role reversal, he was the teacher and she the student, and there was something about that he found unbearably sexy. For maybe the first time since he'd known her, she had given into his wishes, come into his house on his terms and generally allowed him to lead her. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Monica Young had chosen one heck of a good away of apologizing to him. Monica for her part was attentive, but tense; Ben's dad often came into the room and checked up on them.

However Ben had managed to inject some humor at the end of the night. He got to enjoy the devilish delight of assigning his teacher homework. At the end of the evening Ben went over to a bookshelf and selected the two biggest chess books he could find, each nearing fifteen hundred pages. "Both of these are opening books," he said. "They are categorized by first move made by white; take the time to memorize a few lines." Miss Young raised an eyebrow; you've got to be kidding me she thought. Ben was nearly seizing with delight at the look on her face. "Now Miss Young, I guarantee you that coach Scott knows some of this stuff. So you've got to know it also." He almost fell to the ground with laughter. The look on Miss Young's face was so priceless: she couldn't decide whether his homework gesture was vindictive or sweet. Either way she was trapped into doing the homework or else their cover story might be blown.

They settled into a routine, chess lectures took place on Tuesday evenings. His mother's recitals were on Wednesdays and his parents insisted on being there when Miss Young was. It only took Monica about three weeks to pick up on the game, and they quickly decided she was ready for a rematch with the evil coach Scott. So after the fourth lecture they decided to stop, that way Ben's parents could let their suspicion die. 'See I was just helping my pretty English teacher learn to beat a colleague, nothing to it'. On the night of the final lecture Ben's secret past once again became his secret present.

That night Ben's parents committed their only lapse in vigilance. Around eight that evening, Ben went downstairs to the kitchen to grab a soda. On his way he noticed that both of his parents had fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie. Quiet as a church mouse he crept back to the music room where Monica was still seated at the board. He handed her a glass of water and then they went back to work. Monica was asking something about a particular situation on the board. She started to make a bad move and Ben instinctively grabbed her hand to stop her. With his parents asleep the moment overwhelmed Ben, his face was only inches from hers and he was holding her hand. It hit them both like a bolt of lightning when Ben reached over with his other hand and cupped her neck. Then he lunged across the table and seized her lips with his own. She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him closer. Miss Young finally broke the kiss after what seemed like hours. "I should go, your parents are downstairs." She stood up and pushed in the chair. Ben embraced her and brushed her silky brown hair back behind her ears. Her smile almost made his knees give out, and he'd have sworn his belly was doing summersaults inside him. Monica ended the embrace by gently brushing her lips against his and then letting go. As she walked out of the room Ben made an exaggerated gesture of walking to the board and tipping his king over, 'maybe chess isn't such an innocent game'. The corner of Ben's mouth kinked into a small smirk. He had fallen for her again and this time harder then before.

Ch4 Ben Finds the Answer

Ben returned the chess pieces to their starting squares and left the music room. He was actually beginning to admonish himself. All of the reminiscing he'd been doing wasn't going to get him and Monica together for Christmas. He decided to take what he viewed as the rather extreme step of broaching the subject to his parents. He found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Mom, how would you feel about me staying here while you and dad go to Boston," Ben asked gently but braced for the response?

"Oh no honey!, oh no!, Dino's parents each told us what you three tried to pull when you thought they were going away. Leaving you alone in the house is just to ready a temptation. Parties and girls, we have to be more responsible parents than that."

Ben could see he wasn't going to get anywhere with his mother. Divide and concur he thought, his father would be more receptive. He went into the living room to seek out his dad. "Dad I'd like to stay home while you go to Boston." His dad put the Seattle Times aside. "Now just here me out dad! I could tape the performance I really want to see it. All of our stuff is here, tree, presents and so forth. Also I could watch the house. Mom is worried I'll have a party but if you tell both Dino's and Jonathan's parents that you're going out of town there's no way that could happen."

Ben's dad smiled, "and girls son, how are we supposed to be sure you don't have girls over?"

Ben thought for a minute. "This isn't going to work is it?"

"No it isn't," replied Ben's father. Ben was running out of options fast.

Then the idea just suddenly hit him like a hammer. "Dad I could stay with Dino and his father. That would be okay wouldn't it? That way I could tape the performance, stay and watch the house, I wouldn't be alone, I wouldn't have to travel to Boston where you know I'll be bored except for the performance, and we can have Christmas when you two return."

Ben's dad sat back on the couch, it was hard to argue with so much logic. "I think first we need to ask Dino's family."

"But if they say yes, then it's okay with you," asked Ben?

"If they say yes I'll, I'll try and talk your mother into it alright."

Ben raced into his room to grab his cell; he was already ringing Dino by the time he got back downstairs. What Ben's dad didn't know was that Dino's dad was already crabbing about having to work on Christmas Eve. Dino had told both Ben and Jonathan about this at least a week ago.

It all happened like magic, or fate or something. Dino's dad agreed that Ben could stay with them. He even let Ben's dad know he was working on Christmas Eve, but Debs and her mother would both be told to check in on the boys. Given the precautions Ben's mother could not raise any meaningful objections and she eventually agreed to the request. Dino and Jonathan would help cover for him, after all they were aware of his secret past/present. Now all he had to do was convince Monica to make a similar effort to get away from her mother. It was going to be an interesting day at school tomorrow.

The next morning Ben felt as if he could cover the mile or so to school in a single step. All morning he kept racing ahead of Dino and Jonathan and then turning and waiting for them to catch up. "Man, what's gotten into you," Jonathan asked?

Ben looked around briefly to make sure they were alone. "I'm back with Miss Young, can you believe it?"

Before he could say anymore Jonathan and Dino tackled him much the same way they did the first time they discovered his secret. "When did this happen," both demanded!

"About a month ago, look, keep quiet you guys. That's why I don't want to go to Boston. It's perfect, Christmas with Miss Young. In fact I'll probably need you guys to help cover for me." Ben finished speaking as they approached the school.

"Count us in, go get em' tiger," both said in unison.

Ben replied with a playful roar has he ran off to get some unnecessary help with his English homework. Ben once again poked his head inside Miss Young's classroom. This time she was there and he once again closed the door behind him. It was so nice not fighting with her anymore; she greeted him with that smile that made him melt. "Ahh look we don't have a lot of time, but I managed to convince my parents to let me stay at Dino's place while they go to Boston, and Dino's dad is working on Christmas Eve!" Ben was talking so fast Miss Young was straining to understand. "I was hoping that you could get away and I could get away, and we could be together for at least awhile."

Miss Young paused long enough to frighten Ben, but them she jumped from behind her desk and attacked him with a hug. The two quickly realized they were in public and ended the embrace. "My mother is leaving too." Monica uncorked a smile so radiant even Ben was sure he hadn't seen it before. "My mother will want me to go with her, but she can't make me."

"Deb's mom will be watching us but I've already thought about how to get away from her."

"Tell." Monica's voice could be so damned alluring when she wanted it to be.

"Hockey, Jonathan, Dino and I will go to that pond not far from school and play ice hockey on Christmas Eve. It'll be easy enough to make an excuse to get away from them." Ben realized almost while the words were coming from his mouth that he'd made a mistake.

Miss Young's eyes narrowed and her face hardened, "Ben I'll ask you again, did you tell your friends about us?"

Ben's stomach twisted into a knot. 'Deny, deny, deny.' "Monica I said I'd do anything, and that I wouldn't tell anyone, I mean that."

"Well, how are you going to get away from your buddies," Miss Young was still probing for deception as she asked?

"Look I can just tell them I'm tired and want to go back to Dino's house. If they come back early, I can even say I went over to my house for awhile just to check on things. Please Monica, all I really want for Christmas is you?" Ben sort of half sang the line.

Monica's face softened into a beaming smile and then laughter at Ben's serenade. 'How is it possible that this 16 year old boy knows how to make me feel this good?' All she could do was shake her head at the thought. Monica nodded final approval, the plan was good, it was very very good. "I'm going to love this Ben."

"So will I." Ben ducked back out of the room just as quickly as he'd entered. Now all he had to do was contain his excitement.

Ch 5 Christmas Eve

In the weeks that they'd been back together Ben was noticing and appreciating several changes in Miss Young. The chess thing had turned out to be more than a away of apologizing. She seemed to be genuinely making an effort to be less controlling of the relationship. They weren't seeing each other as often, but that was because both of them stopped trying to force through every possible meeting. At least from Ben's perspective on the relationship all of this had been an improvement. The sneaking around and lying wasn't gone, but it was kept to a minimum. He was much happier the second time around.

December rolled on until the 24th finally came around. Ben and Dino had stayed up most of the night playing x-box and both were feeling the need to lie down by around ten in the morning. Dino's dad had been gone for an hour already, but he'd warned that Debs and her mother were both told to look in on the boys. Ben dialed Monica on his cell "Hi honey," he said playfully as she picked up.

"Hello sweetheart," she sassed right back. Dino could overhear the conversation and had to bite his lip to keep quiet.

"So what time am I playing hockey?"

"Around three, that way we can have some time before it gets dark. You can't play hockey on a pond once it's dark. By the way Ben you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to this."

"Oh yes I do," came Ben's coy response.

"Very funny, see you Ben."

"Okay we have to play hockey around two-thirty. She'll pick me up at the supermarket around three. It'll take me about fifteen minutes to get there," Ben announced rather loudly to Dino.

"Jesus, lower your voice," commanded Dino.

"This is gonna be so great, I've even got a gift for her."

"What is it," Dino asked?

Ben grabbed his coat and took a small case from the side pocket and handed it to Dino. Inside was a sapphire blue broach in the shape of a butterfly. Dino inspected it ruefully. It was obviously a fairly cheap piece of jewelry but it wasn't unattractive. "It should get ya some," Dino snickered has he handed it back.

"Shut up Dino."

Strangely as soon as Dino had made the remark, that question began to eat at Ben. What would they do? Making out seemed somehow so inappropriate for Christmas. Oh well, he would be with Monica and that would be joy enough, whatever they chose to do.

At the Bungalow across town Monica was preparing as well. She rummaged through her closet and laid out Ben's favorite outfit across the bed, the black spaghetti top, knee length black skirt and pink see-through blouse she'd worn the night she and Ben danced to the CD he'd made for her. Last time she'd also worn pants under the skirt, those would stay in the closet this time. A little leg for Ben, she smiled wickedly at the thought. She looked herself over in the mirror and to her eyes it was not a pretty sight. Getting her mother to leave without her had an absolute war and the way she looked reflected the battle fatigue. Her eyes were red, had bags under them, and her hair was beyond mess it was an outright abomination. She settled in front of the bathroom mirror and spent the next two hours correcting that which her mother had so cruelly destroyed. Finally after putting on Ben's favorite outfit she inspected herself for a second time. Now she was ready to do some killing.

Although the preparations had taken two hours Monica soon realized that it was only noon and she still had about three hours to kill. Wandering around the house with nothing more to do made her think of how empty the house seemed. She didn't even have a Christmas tree. Well, I can kill some time correcting that little problem she thought to herself.

The plan of playing ice hockey worked to perfection. Jonathan had joined Dino and Ben later that morning and at two in the afternoon they all slipped right passed Deb's mother without being noticed. They actually did go to the pond but Ben never put his skates on. He arrived at the supermarket just before three. He was so excited, the store was already closed for Christmas; the parking lot was deserted. Yes the plan had come off perfectly except that three o-clock arrived and Monica didn't.

Ch 6 Sin and Redemption

Ben stood in front of the supermarket building waiting, and waiting, and then waiting some more. Monica never came. After half an hour and several unanswered phone calls Ben genuinely started to worry. He went back to the pond and immediately approached Dino and Jonathan. "She never showed!" Ben was near panic.

"Got spooked somehow, or maybe, maybe she's playing you," Dino always jumped to the worst conclusions.

"No, no, she wouldn't play me; we were really getting along this time."

"Okay, where does she live," asked Jonathan?

"Ten minutes from here by car."

"That means maybe half an hour by foot," Dino chimed.

"I don't think I have a choice."

"Okay let's go, it'll pretty much kill the day but we can get there and back before Deb's mom notices," Dino always wanted to take direct action.

"Are you crazy, what if she is at home, I can't show up with you two?"

"Look we all have to stay together, otherwise Deb or her mom might find out," Jonathan said.

Ben realized he had no choice and the three set out on the long walk to Monica's bungalow. An hour later Jonathan and Dino ducked in the bushes across the street while Ben surveyed the house. The interior was completely dark and there was no sign of the yellow bug. Ben crept around to the back door and saw Monica's mobile lying on the kitchen table. Ben came back across the street and joined his friends. Deciding there was nothing they could do, the three started back toward Dino's apartment. They debated what might have happened all the way.

Monica sat behind the wheel of her bug, sobbing uncontrollably. The windows were all frosted over and she could see her breath in the car now. She wiped the tears only to get a look at her watch, 6:08PM. She was a good twenty miles outside of Seattle and her years of bad driving had finally caught up with her. She looked in the rearview mirror at the Christmas tree she'd bought and chopped down herself. It was now laying a good twenty feet behind the bug, in the center median ditch of Interstate 5. Miss Young looked behind her at the shopping bags full of lights, ornaments, and garland she'd bought for the tree; most of it was broken now. The bug had careened quite hard into the ditch. For some stupid reason she tried the key again, the engine whined weakly but wouldn't catch. Even if it did start she wouldn't have been able to move. Being alone with only her thoughts was nothing new to Monica Young. It had always seemed to be this way for her. She always wanted what life and common sense told her was just outside her reach, and loneliness seemed to be her punishment for being optimistic enough to try and get it anyway. 'God, are you punishing me again. The heart wants what it wants; you can't blame me for that. I'm not a bad person I enjoy teaching, helping people write and communicate better. Ben is what I want, and I think he wants me, and' her thoughts suddenly stopped as she finally saw the amber lights of a tow truck.

For Ben and his friends the walk back to Dino's was nothing short of surreal. Dino and Jonathan kept oscillating between giving support and putting ideas in Ben's head. As the trio approached the apartment complex they sloshed snow on their equipment and skates to maintain the disguise. The evening passed slowly, Dino's father came back from work and Deb and her mother showed up for dinner. All three boys, but Ben in particular had trouble hiding the fact that something was wrong. Ben's soft heart couldn't help but worry, and his brain, thanks to Dino and Jonathan, couldn't help but speculate about what might have happened.

While all of them were seated at dinner Ben's cell vibrated in his pocket. He discretely pulled it out enough to see the display, Miss Young was calling. Oh god not now, not now! There was no privacy to be had in this small apartment; there was absolutely no way he could take the call. Monica let the phone ring until voice mail picked up. When Ben didn't answer she turned and threw her own mobile against the kitchen wall with enough velocity to impress any major league scout. The phone immediately shattered into thousands of pieces. Seconds later the thought hit her: OH MY GAWD BEN CAN'T CALL ME NOW! Monica collapsed on her bed sobbing worse than ever before.

Ben had one more trick up his sleeve. He realized that his mother's concert was over and he'd set up to tape it back at his own house. Asking the group if they'd like to see it was enough of an excuse to get some privacy. Dino's dad insisted on driving them over, but Ben could pop inside under the pretext of grabbing the tape. It would be enough privacy for at least a short phone call. Ben dialed her number but the mystery only deepened. He got no rings, no voicemail, nothing but a recorded message. "We're sorry, this wireless customer is unreachable at the moment; please try your call again later." Ben looked positively dejected as he came back out to the waiting Orange Volkswagen. There was absolutely nothing more he could do. The evening and eventually the night passed without contact from Miss Young.

Christmas day started out to be more of a disaster than Christmas Eve. It was spent at Dino's mother's house. Ben felt like a spectator at some sort of strange sporting event: watching Dino's broken family pretend to enjoy Christmas with each other. If that wasn't enough he had secretly dialed Miss Young at least six times and got the same recorded message.

Having cried herself to sleep, Miss Young awoke Christmas morning with a final idea. Her salvation was a pay phone at the gas station only a few blocks from her house. She dialed Ben's cell: 'please lord let him pick up'.

Ben immediately excused himself from Dino's family and walked upstairs. "Hello."

"Ben, of my good lord thank you!" Monica was speaking through tears as Ben answered.

"Monica." Saying her name he released all the emotions of the yesterday in his voice.

"I ran my car off the road Ben, I, I wanted to get a tree and I got one but I ran off the road."

"So everything is alright, your alright I mean. God you have no idea how much I've worried. I thought about you, wanted to be with you so much."

"Ben I've done nothing but cry since yesterday afternoon, I can't believe I screwed up this badly." Ben could hear her sobbing through the phone.

"What happened to your cell," Ben asked?

"I, I broke it, when you didn't pick up last night, why didn't you pick up?"

"I couldn't, I was having dinner with everybody, Jonathan, Dino, Debs, absolutely everybody, there was no privacy. Monica I wanted to be with you more than anything, I was at the store expecting to be picked up, you have to believe that."

"I do, I do, I wanted this more than anything too Ben, please believe me."

"To continue this call please deposit another 60 cents." An electronic recording shattered their conversation.

Ben hung up shaking his head and Miss Young slammed the receiver back into the cradle. She didn't have another 60 cents. She walked home feeling dejected at having ruined their plans but confident that the relationship would remain intact. Ben's soft heart ran over when he thought about what she had been doing. After all she had done all of that for him, for the two of them. If she could make such an effort so could he. Ben grabbed his coat and ran back downstairs, purposely not allowing himself time for a rational thought about what he'd decided to do. "I'm going to my house for awhile, be back in an hour or so." Ben announced to Dino's entire family.

"Ben, what, why?" Dino's father asked; but Ben was already out the door and didn't hear him. Dino on the other hand gave a knowing glance just as Ben left.

"Dad its okay he probably just wants to get some music or video games or something. We're not exactly good company right now." Dino rescued his friend.

"I suppose your right." Dino's father was fooled.

At his house Ben ransacked the basement looking for something. When he found it he headed towards the bungalow. Ben arrived at Monica's house in about twenty minutes. He placed his gift and the small Christmas tree he'd retrieved from his basement on her front porch and rang the bell. Ben ran across the street and ducked into the bushes opposite the house. Monica appeared at the door moments later and her heart leapt as she scooped up the offerings. She was still wearing Ben's favorite outfit from yesterday. Ben advanced across the street and stood by her mailbox. As soon as she looked around she spotted him. He ran up the steps towards her and swept her inside the house with one arm. He literally picked her up off her feet as he hugged her. "Put me down," she giggled. Ben placed her on the ground in front of him and centered her face with his hands. He loved and wanted to take in everything about her. The silky brown hair got pushed behind her ears again so he could better see her face. Deep green eyes, ski jump nose, and gorgeous pink lips smiling back at him. The smell of her perfume, her hair, and her skin: it was all right there in front of him. She placed her hand squarely on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to hers. Neither one could tell how long the embrace lasted. When it did break Ben looked down to see she had already put the broach on. They kissed for a second time as a song came on the radio.

"The heart won't lie, sometimes life gets in the way, but there's one thing that won't change I know, I've tried. The heart won't lie." The oddity of Vince Gill and Reba McEntire on Christmas or that somehow Monica's radio was tuned to a country station escaped both of them. Ben grabbed Monica's waist and pulled her to him, she rested her head on his shoulder and they started slow dancing. "I love you Ben Connor." Monica looked up into his large brown eyes.

"I love you too, Monica. God willing it will be me that takes that Miss off your name someday."

Monica didn't answer, she just nestled her head against Ben's shoulder as they continued dancing. The dance only lasted half an hour before Ben had to leave. Still, it was the most satisfying half hour the two had ever spent together.

1 For those who may not be familiar with chess, Staunton is the most common form of carved chess piece. It describes the general appearance of the pieces. In Staunton carving, the rook is made to look like a castle tower, the knight a horse's head, and so forth.

16