"The Courting of Uzumaki Naruto"
by the Carpet Shampoo
Author's Commentary: Yeah, I can't believe its updated either…
All right guys. If there's one thing that bugs me, its an author who goes 'This chappie is crap, plz read anyway!' Ok…if its crap, why post it? I didn't want to just B.S. a chapter, just to get an update done. My muse went on vacation. An extended vacation. But just today, she came back, whispering some all new ideas for this story. Sorry to make you wait, but who wants to read crap?
Chapter 13: The greatest rescue mission of all time
"All right…" Shikamaru stood before the genin's and looked each one over. It was their first night out, "Who's going to stand watch?"
Gaara of the Sand stood up. "I will."
"I'll take over after him!" Kiba burst in, secretly feeling he should be the leader over Shikamaru.
"I don't sleep. So even if you did take over, it would be rather pointless, as I would still be sitting awake."
"Oh yeah sand-boy? Well, maybe someone should keep guard to make sure you don't pull anything funny!" Kiba grinned. This midget redhead may have looked tough during the chuunin exams, but since he'd been hanging around Konoha, Kiba hadn't seen him try anything. Time to let him know who was really in charge around here.
Gaara appeared not to hear him. He simply sat down by the small fire and stared out in the darkness. The air around him seemed to shift uncomfortably, and Shikamaru noted the small bits of sand flying around, poised for attack.
Kiba stuck his tongue out at Gaara then went to the opposite side of the fire. He laid down on the ground, opening up his jacket enough so that Akamaru could crawl inside and sleep there. The two of them spoke briefly…Akamaru let out a soft bark, and Kiba responded by murmuring softly to him. Shikamaru watched it for a moment. If he didn't know better, he'd say it was some sort of touching, loving good night. Kiba sure was one weird kid.
He turned his eyes on Shino instead. He was crouched near the outside, sitting up against the tree. Shikamaru took a step towards him when Hinata jumped in front of him.
"Shino's sleeping!" she whispered, holding up her hands to stop Shikamaru. The shadow user raised his eyebrows and looked over at Shino. The guy still had his sunglasses on, and collar pulled up high. He looked exactly the same as he did when he was awake.
Hinata smiled serenely. "We're teammates…we know a lot about each other and – oh dear, all the talking must of woke him up. Sorry Shino, we'll be quiet." Hinata glared at Shikamaru, for a moment before turning back to Shino, who was still sitting quietly in the corner. He hadn't moved at all.
"What's that Shino? Oh! Good night to you too…." She paused for a moment here, as if Shino was actually saying something. Which as hard as Shikamaru tried, he could hear nothing. "Sweet dreams to you too." She smiled back at Shikamaru. "He's gone back to sleep." Shikamaru decided then that it wasn't just Kiba – the entire team was downright odd.
Meanwhile…
"I saw him first, so he's my pretty little blond boy!"
"You could of never captured him without my help."
"I don't care! I want Naruto. You can have Sasuke since he's here anyway."
"What would I want with Sasuke? He's my little brother. I can have him anytime I want. Besides, I thought you wanted Sasuke. You sent that whole thing to go get him and gave him a curse seal and everything."
"But I changed my mind…Now I want Naruto…"
"Wait, Sasuke's here?" Naruto's voice cut in and the two older men turned and looked at him.
"Yeah…he came to rescue you. Got caught about five minutes of being here. He's right over…hm…where'd he go?" Orochimaru looked around, clearly confused. Itachi glared at him.
"You were supposed to be watching him!" Itachi accused.
"I was watching Naruto, you were supposed to watch Sasuke!"
"I was watching Naruto!"
"Oh yeah, that's right…I was supposed to be watching Sasuke, huh?" Orochimaru said with a sudden look of remembrance.
"You idiot…We need to find him before he goes and gets help!"
"I'm an idiot? You're an idiot, idiot!"
It was at this point Naruto noticed he wasn't tied up or anything so he stood up slowly and began walking away. Before he could reach a safe escape point, Kabuto was standing there.
"Now now…no escaping from Orochimaru-sama."
"Good work Kabuto! Now, move my arms so I'm hugging him!" Naruto panicked and did the first move that came to mind.
"Sexy no Jutsu!" It probably wasn't the best move ever but…
Itachi turned away, looking bored. Women didn't interest him. Orochimaru wasn't interested either. Naruto's female form looked too old for his taste anyway. Kabuto however, promptly fainted dead away. Naruto ran for it. Hah…and to think Iruka told him this was a useless move…
Naruto paused at an intersection. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" He created three clones of himself. One went down the trail to his right, one went down the trail to his left, he ran forward and the final clone remained standing there to distract Orochimaru and Itachi.
The clone that ran down the right reached a dead end and disappeared. The one that ran down the left ran smack dab into Sasuke, who had (though he would never admit it) gotten lost in here. The clone knew Naruto was looking for Sasuke, so it reached out and grabbed Sasuke's hand, and running him back towards the direction it came from.
Itachi hadn't bothered to move, and just sent Kisame out to find Naruto. The shark ninja grabbed the Naruto clone still waiting in the intersection and dragged it back to Itachi. Just as he was reaching the room Itachi was in, Sasuke and another Naruto clone, still hand in hand went running down the hallway following the original Naruto.
The real Naruto had taken a wrong turn down at the end of the hallway and was now turning around. Sasuke and the Naruto clone made no such mistake and ran right out through the exit and…
…ran smack in their rescuers, who had just finished off the last of the guards. Hinata glanced at the two of them and blushed a deep red, turning away…and turning…and turning…until at last she managed to position them in her blind angle. Sasuke was panting and looking red in the face from running so much, and when they crashed, he'd landed on top of the Naruto clone. Everyone stared for a moment, then the real Naruto ran out, un-doing the jutsu and causing Sasuke (who was still sitting on the clone) to crash to the ground.
Kiba was the only one who could find words.
"Haha! Sasuke got laid by Naruto's clone!"
Author's Commentary: All right! Now let's hope people are still reading this fic!