Trowa POV
The tower was completely destroyed after the battle. Much of the main hall, basement, and outside cliff had also been destroyed by both the invading armies and the earthquakes caused by the volcano. Over half of the army was wounded, though, due to Une's careful training and preparations, relatively few were killed.
Sally was swamped. All available hospital beds were full and there weren't enough being brought in for all the patients coming up from the battle. It was for this reason that, only minutes after waking up, I was asked to take Quatre and go to our room, since neither of us had acquired life threatening injuries. Quatre probably would have wanted to stay, since Duo was still unconscious, but Heero was with hi, curled around him like some kind of protective viper. That's actaully what he looked like when I first entered, a snake ready to strike if I made any wrong move. I was told by a young nurse when leaving that he had done that to every person that had entered the room since he had arrived. It seemed that the leftover battle adrenaline combined with concern for his lover had left Heero a little... less than enthusiastic about company. I wisely left him alone. Quietly, I carried Quatre back to our room and put him to bed, then laid down beside him for some well-needed rest.
Quatre woke hours later. As expected, he insisted we race to the hospital to check on Duo. I wasn't surprised to find that Duo's condition had not changed. Sally had said that it could be days before Duo awoke, do to the extent of the injury he received. The sword hadn't pierced anything vital, but it had been deep and had taken a long time for Sally to staunch the bleeding.
Quatre did manage to force Heero to come get something to eat with us, then managed to coerce him into going back to his room for a shower and a change of clothes before leading him back to his lover. It was difficult for Quatre to persuade Heero to come with us, which speaks volumes Heero's dedication and stubbornness when it comes to Duo, but it was obvious that Heero both wanted and needed a shower, a fact that Quatre exploited mercilessly for his advantage. There isn't a lot Quatre won't do for his friends, and forcing them to take care of themselves was something he'd had a lot of practice at.
I wasn't upset that Quatre was focusing most of his energy on Heero. Actually, I was a bit relieved. The repercussions of the fact that Quatre had opened himself to me and I hadn't been able to handle it haunted me. I began to wonder if we were really meant to be together, if Quatre would ever trust me again, if we could ever share a bond or if we were forever cursed to be together but still apart.
I have to wonder if Quatre weren't worried about it, too, because he hounded Heero, asking him if there was anything he needed and trying to be helpful even if Heero wasn't in a most appreciating mood. I think, perhaps, Quatre was trying to distract himself just as much as I was, or maybe more.
I also had another worry to think about. The new moon was coming up and, while it didn't affect me as the full moon did, it did affect me to the same degree. I would have find away to get away from Haven that night and all the next day and perhaps meet up with a pack of wolves for that time period. Somehow, I would have to get away from Quatre and everyone at Haven.
Quatre had to go see Wufei as soon as Heero was once again tucked in beside Duo, drifting into a deep slumber. Quatre could remember the battle with Noventa and, because we had both been knocked unconscious during the battle, was quite worried about his fried though Sally insisted he was fine. We found Wufei sleeping in his room, exhausted, one side taken by the young Chase, the other protected by Treize. All three were sleeping, so we simply backed out silently and closed the door.
We had already seen Une when we talked to Sally, and Relena and Dorothy were also both in the medical wing, Dorothy lecturing Relena to be more careful, so the last person Quatre needed to check in on was Master O. It was odd, I hadn't seen him in the medical wing. I had thought he would have been helping Sally heal the soldiers.
It was Relena who revealed to us, teary-eyed and crestfallen, that Master O had been killed. Quatre couldn't seem to accept it at first, but when he did it seemed that he was going to have a breakdown, so I hurried him back to our room. Quatre holds his friends very dear to him and it hurts him immensely to lose them. Because of his link with the world, he is able to be closer to everyone than most people are to one person, save linked couples. What I'm trying to get across is that when Quatre loses a friend, it's like he's losing a part of himself. It's hard to bear losing a piece of your soul.
I took Quatre back to our room, got him into his nightclothes, put him in bed, and curled him against me. It was only then, in my embrace, that he allowed himself to cry. Quatre worries a lot about his image. He knows, because of his boyish looks, that people often think him weak. It's very important for him to prove them wrong, or, at least, not to prove them right. He holds his feeling inside him and, at times like these, they erupt, causing a release of pressure or mental damage, depending on the situation. For Quatre to have allowed me to see him that way spoke volumes of his trust for me. I couldn't help but feel it bittersweet, though, at a time we were getting closer we were still unable to meet minds, something other couples did easily. It preyed on my mind again as Quatre slept peacefully in my arms.
There was no body for us to bury in honor of Master O, so the funeral was more of a memorial than anything. Without physical evidence of his death, though we were all certain he was dead, it was difficult to feel that he was actually gone. It wasn't as though we had laid anything to rest, so many of us still felt that Master O was with us, simply some place else. I wasn't close enough to him to be affect that strongly, but Quatre and Treize and especially Wufei were extremely upset during the service. Treize hadn't even wanted to let Wufei come, since he was still feeling the effects of taking over Master O's spells and the battle with Noventa, but Wufei had been adamant that he be allowed to come, and eventually Treize backed off, allowing that Wufei didn't stay long. The young prince-to-be was also along, clinging tightly to either Wufei or Treize the entire time. The battle had shaken him up quite a bit, but he was handling it well. Heero also stopped down to pay his last respects, but didn't like to be away from Duo, who was still unconscious, so left soon. Relena was one of the most... vocal mourners, sobbing loudly until Dorothy led her into a corner and calmed her for fear that she would begin to hyperventilate.
The actual service might not have helped, but it seemed that talking to the others about Master O helped Quatre quite a bit. He seemed much better when we returned to our room that night so I decided that the service was time well spent.
The next few days would turn out to be very busy for all of us. Beyond the rebuilding that needed to take place, planning for Chase's coronation as prince also had to be handled. Quatre and I weren't able to spend much time together because of this. With Treize and Wufei still recovering from battle, Quatre was called away to make the preparations for the coronation. Meanwhile, with Duo and Heero both out of it, I was the only member of Night Force left, so all responsibilities for that fell to me, along with helping the construction crews with some of their heavier projects when my inhuman strength was needed.
It happened because of this that whenever Quatre would be coming in I would be heading out, and the reverse. We barely saw each other for the next couple of days, and when we did come in for the night we were both dead tired. Of course, some parts of it had to be that neither of us wanted to think or talk about what had happened during the battle. That made it just a little bit easier for me to talk a few extra minutes walking to our room, or leave just a few minutes early for work. Whatever the reason, we successfully managed to avoid talking about our link.
I was able to learn that the full moon would happen in three day's time; five days from the battle with Noventa and four day's from Master I's service. I figured that by that time the construction crews would have a good start on the castle repairs and I would be able to sweep every underground tunnel for people caught because of the earthquake. That would still give me most of the day to get away from Haven. Treize knew my predicament, so I doubted he would stand in my way. I decided it would be best not to worry Quatre about it, so I didn't tell him. I was also a bit worried that Quatre would try and keep me in the castle, as he had last time. Things were different under the new moon, and I couldn't risk that he'd come after me. I concluded that, since our link wasn't open, he wouldn't be able to read my thoughts and know my plan until it was already too late, at which time Treize could tell him where I had gone.
Apparently, though I couldn't read Quatre's thoughts, he was still perfectly able to read mine.
"Trowa! You can't leave! Do you have any idea what's out there? We still don't know if Noventa was working alone, you could be walking straight into an ambush!"
"Quatre, I have to go. I'm a werewolf, the woods are my home, I'll be fine. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
"But why can't you just stay here like last time?"
"It's different this time. I can't stay near people this time, it's too dangerous."
Quatre's face darkened in anger, something I had never seen before, and I wondered just what the hell I had said so wrong.
"You're just running away from this! You won't even talk to me about it!"
We had been fighting about this for hours, ever since I had entered the room hoping to grab a nap and a kiss before leaving. I only had an hour or so before the moon would rise and I needed to leave soon or I wouldn't make it outside the city limits before I started to change.
"Quatre, I'm sorry, but I have to leave. Whatever it is you want to talk about will have to wait until after I come back. Please, I need you to understand, this is for your own safety. If I don't leave now you could be hurt and I couldn't live with myself if that happened. I'll see you when I get back. Goodbye."
I turned and walked out the door. Or, at least, that was what I intended on doing. I remember turning around, but nothing after that.
I woke up chained to a wall. My previous encounters with this kind of situation told me to stay still and not let them know I was awake until I knew exactly what was going on. I sniffed, my now partually wolf senses lettng me know exactly who was in the room with me and I opened my eyes quickly.
"Quatre!"
Quatre was sitting in a corner of the little cell, which was barely big enough for me to stretch my legs but was long enough for Quatre to sit a good two feet away from me. He jerked a bit when I called his name, but didn't turn to face me.
"I'm sorry," was all he said. I wanted to tell him it was alright, but it wasn't. He needed to leave; I could already feel the moon starting to affect me.
"Get out of here," I told him gruffly, though not harshly. I've never ben able to speak harshly to Quatre, he's always so calm and good natured, it's hard to get made at him.
"I won't leave. That's what I told you on the maganac's ship and I still mean it know," he said quietly, still not looking at me. A part of my heart contracted with affection at the memory, but another part was screaming at him to leave before he got hurt. The screaming part won out.
"This isn't like that! I'm telling you to leave! I knew I wouldn't kill you then, but this... this is different! I'm telling you to get out of here!"
"And I'm telling you I won't!" he yelled, whirling around to face me. "I won't let you run from this without even talking to me about it! I won't let this break us apart! You're closer to me than anyone's ever been before and I... and I..."
Slowly, the anger drained out of him and he sank to the floor, gratefully just beyond my reach. I knew he was weakening and wanted to tell him to leave, but the look in his eyes kept me from saying anything brash, knowing that if I turned him away know I might never see him again.
"You what?" I asked softly, wishing the night was over so I could hold him in my arms.
"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly.
"For what?"
"For not being stronger. For not being able to link with you. For hurting you. For the voices. For..."
He stopped as I laughed ruefully, looking at me with startled, hurt eyes.
"Love," I said, moving so that I was sitting instead of leaning up against the wall, "It isn't your fault. You know that, and I know that you can't control the voices..."
"But I can!" he said, leaning dangerously forward in his burst of emotion, "Or, at least, I could when I was younger, but I've forgotten how. I thought, when you needed me that I'd forget the voices but I couldn't and now you hate me!" he said, tears rimming his eyes, then covered his mouth as though he couldn't believe what he had just said. He went to run for the exit, but in order to get there he had to step over a chain that connected me to the wall. I managed to come back to my senses at just the right moment to pull the chain up and trip him, then pulled him back by his ankle. He wasn't getting away after a confession like that. I pushed him back against the far wall and put myself between him and the door, cutting off his exit. I wasn't reckless enough to hold him in my arms, though I wanted to desperately. Sitting in the corner, his knees pulled up to his chest, he looked so broken an hopeless it almost made me forget my common sense and hold him, but the repercussions of my actions would be to high to ignore, so I simply waited for him to compose himself before asking my questions.
"What are you talking about? I don't understand, explain."
"I..." he hesitated, "I was able to ignore the voices when I was younger, I remember, because I was able to enjoy riding and nature without thousands of voices interrupting me, but I don't remember how I did it anymore. I know... I know my power has grown since I was little, but I thought that I would at least be able to reduce it to save you, but instead I hurt you and you nearly died and... and..." I could see the rugged cliff that Quatre was edging toward was crumbling beneath him and has was soon going to fall. I only wished he had let himself feel all the emotions he had bottled up during the battle at a more convenient time, a time when I could hold and comfort him as I longed to.
"Quatre, " I said softly, leaning as close to him as I dared, "You can't blame yourself for this. You did everything you could to protect me. It was my fault. I wanted to be linked with you so badly that I didn't thnk about what it was doing to you, to not be able to be one with me. You only wanted to protect me, to give me what I wanted. It was selfish of me and I'm sorry. Don't let this tare you apart like this. It's alright; I still love you."
Quatre burst out crying and I wondered just what I had said wrong this time.
"Then why won't you hold me?" Quatre cried, lunging at me. I tried to dodge, but I was so surprised that I didn't move fast enough and Quatre managed to grab a hold of me. The force of Quatre's movement carried him forward and I ended up on my back, with him on lap.
I tried to fight it, but the need was too strong. It was a hunger, like I had never eaten before, a thirst, like I had been in a desert all my life. It was like air, I needed it, I wanted it, and I couldn't stop myself.
I grabbed him and kissed him deeply, forcing my tongue into his mouth, which had opened in surprise. His lips were soft beneath mine and, though he didn't return the kiss, he didn't fight it. I was anxious, though, ready to move from the kiss to more... interesting things and quickly ended it, then flipped us over, putting him on the floor beneath me. He didn't struggle, still too shocked by what was happening. Quickly, before he could recover, I pulled on his shirt, which, luckily, was button down. The buttons came undone one by one as I pulled his shirt off, tossing it away.
He gasped beneath me, even more surprised by my sudden action. I began licking his chest, biting down on his nipples lightly. His skin was beautiful, pale and perfect over his slim frame. His muscles tensed as I moved my tongue over them, contracting under my mouth. I allowed my hand to first circle his bellybutton, then to slide lower, teasing the short hairs that peaked out from the top of his pants, then finally coming to rest over his manhood, which was firm and impatient in my grip. I wondered absently how such a beauty had come to me, but dismissed it as unimportant.
He gasped, groaned, and whimpered under me, but I could tell by the tenseness of his body that he was starting to come to his senses, so I decided I needed to move quicker, no matter how much I would have liked to play longer. He seemed inexperienced, maybe I could get done before he even realized what was going on.
I leaned away from him, quickly yanking off my own shirt, then backed up even more and pulled off his pants, then his own. He was panting, from fear or excitement, I didn't know. He stared at me with startled, confused, and slightly frightened eyes as I put my body over his, rubbing our chests and groins together. His body tensed even more and his eyes went from frightened to scared. I knew he was finally realizing what was going on, but it was too late. I raised his legs over my shoulders and prepared to take him, my heavy, swollen member more than ready for this part of the encounter.
"Trowa don't!" he cried and I froze.
This wasn't just some boy who happened along a the wrong time. This wasn't a merc would give back to me a thousand times what I gave to him. This wasn't some prostitute used to being taken roughly. It was Quatre.
I threw myself to the side, falling heavily on the rough concrete as I made no move to catch myself. I fought every instinct put into me, telling me to grab my mate before he got away.
"Quatre," I ground, holding myself rigid, "Get out of here!"
"Why? Trowa what's going on? And what was all of that? What's happening to you?" Quatre asked, concerned, confused, and scared. I didn't have time to explain because I could feel my control snapping.
"Quatre if you love me you will get the hell out of this cell and lock the door!" I screamed. That served to get him into action, as he got up and ran out of the cell, slamming the door shut behind him. He was almost too late. When I heard the door slam shut, I lost control and tried to chase after him. I was still shackled to the wall, but the restraints didn't hold out on against my inhuman strength and I was soon throwing myself against the bars of my cell, terrifying poor Quatre, who watched from the other side. Eventually, I slumped to the floor, exhausted.
Quatre came to kneel before me, on the other side of the bars. He slipped his hand in and went to wipe the sweat from my brow, but I jerked my head away. It as still too tempting for him to touch me. He looked hurt when I did that, but there was a bit of understanding in his eyes, too.
"Is this why you wanted to leave so badly?" he asked quietly. I nodded silently, but decided that Quatre deserved a better answer.
"It's the new moon's affect on me. During the new moon werewolves... we go into heat. We'll fuck anything in the vicinity, no matter who or what it is. Back there, when I... I didn't even know who you were. I didn't want you to get hurt, and I didn't want you to see me like this so..." I trailed off. He knew the rest.
"How long does this last?"
"Only tonight. It's not like the full moon. It only lasts one night but I can feel the effects for a few days afterwards."
"Would it... Would it help if I had sex with you?"
"No!" I yelled so harshly that Quatre jumped. I calmed myself and tried again. "Don't even think about it Quatre. I don't want our first time to be like this and I don't want to hurt you. If I took you now, I wouldn't even know you. I know I wouldn't be gentle and I won't have my wolf blood tainting you like that. Don't even think about it. No."
"Alright, I understand. In that case, can I get you anything."
"A hooker," I said moodily before I could stop myself. Quatre looked physically sick at the suggestion. "I wasn't serious," I assured, though I had only been half joking.
"What... What did you do when you were with the mercinaries?" Quatre asked hesitantly. Quatre was always hesitant to ask about the mercinaries; he didn't want to remind me of bad memories.
"Sometimes it was the same as the full moon, they'd lock me up. Other times I'd managed to trick one into letting me take him, but that only worked once in a while and usually got me in big trouble afterwards. More often a group of them would take me constantly all night, since I was hard all night anyway. Don't think about trying that either. It took the whole group of them to hold me down and I won't be able to keep from fighting you. It's a werewolf dominance thing; I can't just submit. I- Ah!" I gasped, as a pain hit me deep in my groin. It was like someone had lit my groin on fire and was stomping on it to put the fire out. I curled up in a ball, knowing that the pain would continue for most of the night no matter how many times I came. My body knew the difference between masturbation and sex and wouldn't give me peace until I had mated.
"Trowa! What's wrong?" Quatre asked, inching closer to the bars.
"Get back!" I barked, uncertain of how strong the bars really were. Quatre, thankfully, stepped back and I turned my attention to the battle raging inside me.
I barely even heard when Quatre left, but my body sensed his smell fading and I could barely keep myself from lunging after him. I suppose it was too much for me to think that he wouldn't return and I couldn't help but leap at him when he did. He waited patiently until I settled before approaching. There was a blanket in his arms along with a steaming mug of some strange tea, a kind that my nose couldn't quite place. Quatre was clothed in a loose robe and I realized that I hadn't even thought of where he would go without clothes, since his were scattered in my cell, and realized that he must have sneaked into a bathroom and clothed himself in the robe.
Quietly, Quatre knelt beside me and handed me the tea.
"Drink this," he told me, "It should help you." I drank it all down, being fairly thirsty from all the activity earlier. As I finished, I began to feel odd, a bit out of it. The cup fell from my hands and shattered on the floor, but I didn't have to will to pick it up. The last thing I heard was Quatre opening the cell door, but I was too far gone to care. Whatever he gave me must have been strong, because I was out in the next instant.
I awoke feeling like I had slept a week. My legs and arms felt heavy, my mouth was dry, and my head felt fuzzy. I sat up, shaking my head to clear it, and saw Quatre writing a letter over breakfast at the little table in our room. He saw me move and looked up, then smiled at me.
"Good morning," he said, then set his pen down and stood.
I also went to rise, but found that I couldn't. I looked down to find a heavy chain around each wrist and ankle. The events of the previous night hit me and I fell back against the bed in regret and shock.
"Trowa?" Quatre asked, moving toward the bed, "Is everything alright?" he asked, but stopped before he was within grasping range. He wasn't stupid enough to try and get close to me again, I had made sure of that. I doubted that he would ever trust me again. I couldn't even look at him, I was so afraid of seeing fear or loathing on his face; so afraid he would hate me.
I heard the sound of Quatre retreating, then the sound of him pulling a drawer open, taking something out, and closing it. He approached me again, but I still didn't look at him.
"Hey," he cajoled, "Don't be mad. I just didn't want you to get away last night and I wasn't sure how that potion would affect you, or how long it would work. That's why I tied you up. I can let you loose now, but please don't be mad."
I looked at him in surprise and there was a sincere, soft smile on his face. Gently he unlocked my chains and let me free. I sat up, rubbing my wrist to get rid of the feel of metal on skin.
"I wasn't angry," I told him, "I thought you would be. I tried to rape you..."
"It was my own fault. You warned me, but I didn't listen. I kidnapped you, chained you up, locked you in a prison. I know what you are, and I knew better than to try that. I was just so scared that you would run away from me and I'd never see you again... But that's no excuse. I would have deserved what I had got if you had-"
"Don't say that!" I yelled grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a little shake. "It's not true. No one deserves that, especially not you. Can we... I just want to put this thing behind us. I came so close to taking you when you didn't want me... it makes me feel like, like one of the mercs. I hate it."
"But I did want you," Quatre said softly, a small blush on his face. "That's why it took me so long to push you off. I thought, maybe, if I let you take me you'd forget about the whole link thing and be happy with just that. Besides, you're beautiful and what you were doing felt so good... but I didn't want either of use to regret our first time together, so I had to stop you."
"You... wanted me?" I asked uncertainly. Quatre smiled and nodded. The thought went right to my groin and I blushed. Quatre laughed and in a moment we were both laughing. It felt like everything was right again.
"So," Quatre asked in a serious voice once we had calmed, "the new moon's affect on you only lasts one night, right? So if I asked you to make love to me today you'd be the one answering, and not you werewolf blood, right?"
I nodded carefully, not sure where this was going and not wanting to bear the disappointment of assuming wrong. I needn't have worried as Quatre moved in for a deep kiss a second later, settling himself on my lap. We kissed until both of us needed to breathe so badly that we had to break away.
"Trowa," Quatre said, still trying to catch his breath, "will you make love to me?"
I nodded mutely and pulled him in for another kiss while pulling off his robe. Underneath his robe he was naked, and since I had awakened naked except for a blanket we were both naked in a matter of seconds.
We explored each other. We took our time, trying to see who could get the most reactions and who was the most sensitive. It wasn't quick and to the point like it had been before. It was relaxed, laid back, like eating together or swimming together. It was something to be done at leisure, to be enjoyed. Mouths and hands ended up exploring regions that had otherwise been restricted. Unknown places became memorized, sounds never heard before became a prize won by careful touches.
Of course, it didn't stay that way. As our arousal increased, so did our speed and we were soon moving against each other, groaning until at last, by some silent signal, we began to prepare to become one.
Quatre ended up on bottom. Again that silent language put him there, as neither of us realized until much later who was where. At the time, it really didn't matter to either of us as long as we became joined as soon as possible. I used the lotion from the night stand as lube to stretch Quatre's muscles, moving my digits in and out of him rhythmically until he couldn't stand it anymore and cried out for me. Only then did I lube myself and slowly enter his tight body. He gasped at the feeling and thrust himself down on me, alleviating the notion that I was hurting him. Soon I was fully inside of him and we were both at the limit of our endurance. We began to move together, slamming together powerfully only to pull apart and slam together again. We became one in that moment, our minds and bodies meeting to share everything and hide nothing. Our pleasure's were multiplied by feeling the pleasure and love of the other and it overwhelmed me, causing me to climax. I screamed Quatre's name as I came and he came only a moment later, screaming my name in return, milking my arousal with his climax. I managed to pull out of him and lie beside him, pulling the blankets over our two cuddled forms.
I was so exhausted that it took me a while to realize what exactly had happened while we were making love, but when I did I was overjoyed.
Quatre, I called over our link.
Hmm? he responded sleepily.
Love, listen, I told him, smiling softly. I felt his mind realize what had just happened as he sat up, his eyes open wide. I had only a second to enjoy the feeling before the emotions returned and I winced. Quatre quickly closed our link.
"It seems that you only need to be distracted to forget about the emotions," I said, smiling at him. He smiled back, though I could see the disappointment there.
"It was an awfully good distraction," he replied, "And you seem to be getting more used to them; you didn't scream this time."
"So I am," I said, a bit surprised that I had not thought of trying to get myself used to the emotions, "Perhaps we just need to work at it a bit more."
"And perhaps if we don't let you get to such a high stage of need you won't be so desperate at the new moon."
"Maybe, but it will require a lot of work."
"All the more time to practice linking," he told me. We were both ginning from ear to ear as we settled down to get some sleep. We both knew for sure that, whatever tomorrow might bring, we were together forever.