Trying to forget

by youkokurara

Disclaimers, disclaimers. Oh how I hate the.

Chapter 3: One step at a time

Kenshin watched Kaoru carefully from his point at the wash bin, making sure to watch every move she made. Of course he had to think about his plan, if he could even call it that. The question was, exactly how was he going to get her to remember?

He shook his head clear of that thought. Sure, he had jumped headfirst into something he should've been thinking about and planning for. But she was important to him, now more then ever. What if she got pregnant? Once more he brushed the thought aside, there was no reason to believe something like that this early after their night together. He had to stick to the plan and get her to remember.

That only led him back to his first roadblock in the problem: how was he going to get her to remember?

Last night had not been just a one-night stand; he was not that kind of person. He didn't just go on and sleep with someone for the heck of it; instead, he had to care for her. And he loved Kaoru, though he was too drunk to tell her the other night. He cursed his stupidity for that mistake. If he had told her that he loved her, they wouldn't be in this mess.

"It's no wonder she calls you a idiot," Kenshin muttered and he wrung out another piece of cloth. It was all clean, in fact, everything was. There was no more laundry to be done. The red head gave a sigh as he hung up the last piece of clothing on the line. There wouldn't be anymore to do until they were all dry and ready to be folded and put away.

It was too early for lunch, and from the way breakfast went, he didn't know if Kaoru would want to eat lunch anymore. He remembered smiling at her as he laid the breakfast dishes out on the table to eat, and trying to get her attention but she was rather cold, distant. Now that he thought about it, maybe that would be his way. He would have to break that cold exterior she had created to make it seem like she didn't remember.

Yes! That was exactly what he had to do, but how was he going to do it?

"Oro, exactly where I started," he muttered aloud. This was getting him nowhere even if he did have a small part of his plan planned out.

"Kenshin..." Her voice was soft but he caught his name as she spoke it. "Can you please heat the bath for me?"

Her request would usually come after training, but Yahiko was away at the Akabeko that day and Kenshin just nodded his head yes as he went about doing as she asked. At least she was still talking to him, even if it was just asking him to do something for her.

Kaoru went to her room to get a clean kimono to put on after her bath. Even if Yahiko wasn't there for her to beat, she still trained. She was still the assistant master and needed to train more herself to become a master of her style.

Entering the bathhouse she stripped her clothes off and observed her body in the mirror she had bought, another one of those odd western things she bought on a whim. Like the clock she had in her room, but the mirror was for everyone to use, though she doubted that any one but herself really used it.

There were bites and bruises here and there, she remembered with a deep blush that he liked to use his teeth. "Stop that Kaoru! It didn't happen, it didn't happen," Kaoru scowled herself in the mirror, giggling softly at the way she looked when she caught her sight in the mirror.

Washing her hair and body before stepping into the warm water to calm her tired muscles, she wrapped her hair in a towel and slipped into the bath. It was nice and warm, just the way she liked it. Kenshin knew exactly how to please her, in more the one way.

"Stop it!" She hissed, wrapping her arms about her body as the rather naughty thoughts entered her head. This was doing her no good, not at all. Every time she thought about Kenshin she started to feel funny, a good kind of funny, but she didn't want to feel it at all! Kenshin didn't love her, so there was no reason to feel anything for him anymore.

But he was drunk last night, some part of her brain yelled. What if the alcohol just made him forget to say it?

Oh, who would forget to tell the woman they love that they love them while finally taking their...their... Kaoru shook her head violently, trying to rid her mind of the image that came into her head. Kenshin and her and what she remembered of the other night. Viciously, she yelled at the part of her that wanted to defend Kenshin and that he really did care for her.

He had ruined her! There was no way someone would want her for a wife now that she was "ruined" goods. A none virgin wife, though it wasn't as if she had suitors lining up at her front door everyday asking for her hand in marriage. No, there was no one who wanted her as a wife. No one would want a sweaty tomboy who couldn't cook and practiced kendo in her family's dojo.

The dojo grounds was worth more then her.

Sighing she sunk lower in the bath, emptying her head of any thoughts as she did so. This was a time for her to relax; she could degrade herself at another time.

"Kaoru-dono, how is the bath?" Kenshin called from outside the window. He was always worrying about her, she shook her head sadly.

Well, if he was always worrying about you why did he sleep with you? Was it her, or was she gaining voices inside her head? Kenshin repeated his question in a louder, more concerned voice when she didn't reply right away.

"Oh, yes, the Kenshin is fine water."

A dark blush spread over her body as she fumbled up her words. What was going on with her? So the man was worried about her, he was always worried about her. The defenseless woman needed protection after all. The words struck home.

Defenseless that's what she was. Every time she was captured by one of Kenshin's enemies she had to be rescued by Kenshin and her other friends. She couldn't defend herself. And she was supposed to be strong enough to defend herself, to make sure her family style and words lived on into the future.

Tears started to fall, mixing with the bath water as they did so. She was crying, she was weak.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin laid his ear against the wooden wall, listening to her breathing, to her soft sobs...she was crying?

"Kaoru-dono? Are you all right?"

The only response he got was more tears as she broke down crying. She let everything fall away, let all her problems and trouble leave her with each drop of water.

The red head, on the other hand, was already at the bath house door, opening it with no warning and closing it just as suddenly. He saw her sobbing in the bathtub, her shoulders shaking with the force, her tears following in a steady river down her face and into the bath water below.

It pained him to see her like this. Where had the independent, strong woman he had grown to love? Walking quickly to her side he grasped her around the waist, not caring for his gi as the sleeves became soaked with water, and hoisted her out of the water and onto the bathroom floor where he promptly covered her with a towel.

Kaoru kept crying as he wrapped her into a tight hug, crushing her body into his own, trying to relieve her of her pain and sorrow. All the while to wondered about why she was acting as she was. He prayed it had nothing to do with the other night. He wanted to make everything surrounding it all right. He needed her to forgive him and accept his love as the real thing...

"Everything will be all right, Kaoru," He whispered softly in her ear, "I will always be there for you..."

His heart was pounding in his chest, his hands were sweating. He was nervous, so very nervous, but he had to be strong. Kenshin needed to get this out into the open; he needed to tell her he cared.

"Because I love you."

A record of 1,456 words! I'm doing very well in getting the chapters long and all, but not so good on the updating...Oh well, as long as it gets updated right? Right now there are two people standing outside my house and I think they are cousins...but...I don't know...yeah...family, gotta love em. They're picking my sister up and tomorrow we're all going to a wedding. Ah, how joyous are the events when you hardly know five people by their names on your own.

It's a cliffhanger! I like it, don't you? I knew it would be the perfect place to leave you all hanging for more. As for the next chapter, I'll start it as soon as I can. And on a side note, there will be some lime later on, but not full on lemon. I'm not a very good lemon author, so don't expect much in that category except for cheesy fluff. Yeah, I can see my beta reader rolling her eyes. I love you too, MoMo-ChAn, and thank you for proofreading this for me.

And yes, Kaoru is OOC, but she'll get back to her regular self in later chapters, this chapter center's more on her breaking down and not the rise back from the ashes. There's a quote I got that idea from, though I can't remember what the quote was... Think of a phoenix as well.

Carrie the Open Minded: ...mentioning in other fics? Who would want to be, really? I would rather remain anonymous. But I'm a very closed person.

Rokushin: Eh, he'll get inventive as well as desperate as time goes by, though you really can't tell from this chapter.

gaby (hyatt: Interesting name. Thank you for your review and Kaoru will get stronger as time goes by.

Shiomei: So would I, so would I. Too bad I'm the one writing it, so I can't quite do so. But I'll try my best to make it good.

Alea Seikou: Oh man, I think I'm crying... I am very glad that you like the way this fic is turning, with all the "real world" concepts. Back then, and some time after--I don't know when the idea really stopped happening--the first person a woman slept with was her husband, prostitutes were the exception, but they weren't seen in a very good light either.

Thank you for all your support, and I hope this chapter inspires you to want more.