Chapter Three

She had been back three months. Three months in which she was rapidly brought up-to-date on the cases…and plunged right back into her normal work load as if she had never left. On her first day back, Garret had grabbed her and hugged her, planted a platonic kiss on her forehead and pushed her toward autopsy. Nothing much had changed since. Except that due to her extra training, she got a promotion and a raise in pay. She hadn't asked for it, but it was waiting on her when she got back.

Nigel had been right. Few things had really changed. Lily and Bug were definitely a couple. It was fun to watch Bug watch Lily when he thought no one was watching him. It was sweet to see him come up behind her and put his arms around her waist. Nigel would laugh, and Jordan would join in, but was vaguely aware that something was missing in her life…it wasn't necessarily a man, it was just that there was a void there she couldn't put her finger on.

She did see Rene in Garret's office quite a bit, and not all of her visits concerned the district attorney's office. Jordan had been back about a week when she came in Garret's office late one evening and found Rene and the baby with him. Jordan nearly gasped when she saw the infant. Nigel had been right. The baby had Garret's eyes….huge brown ones in his tiny face. Rene was holding the baby when Jordan entered the office. "Oh, wow," she had said.

"His name is Michael…Mikey for short right now," Rene said.

On impulse, Jordan had held out her arms. "Can I hold him?" Rene had given her a quizzical look, but handed her son over to the ME. Jordan ohhed and ahhed over him. She handed him back to Rene with a certain amount of regret, a feeling that had surprised her.

Woody and she had worked together on a few cases. True to his word, he mainly worked with Sydney right now, an ME whom Jordan found to be bright and capable, but a little too eager. She did catch a few of his homicides when she was on call or on rotation. They worked together like they had always…well. Jordan congratulated herself on her professionalism and friendliness with the detective, but was a little disappointed when they didn't go out for drinks like they used to at the end of a case. She told herself that was to be expected. Other than that, she saw little of Woody.

She found a townhouse to rent, not far from her old apartment on Pearle Street. She talked Nigel into helping her move in…her dad wasn't able to, Bug was too caught up with Lily, and Woody was no longer an option. He had agreed…but on one condition….she buy the beers after the move. She said yes, but only if he would consent to drinking at her new town house and then sleeping it off on the couch. "Of course, love," he had replied.

As moves went, it was simple and painless. Jordan had her bedroom furniture to move…and a few other pieces and that was it. The second bedroom in the townhouse was empty. She managed to fill part of the living room, the dining area and the kitchen, along with the master bedroom. She and Nigel got it done in a day.

They were drinking the beers in the living room. He was lying on the couch and she was sitting on the floor beside of him. Nigel had consumed just enough beers to be honest. "Jordan," he asked, "are you really over him?"

"Him who?" she replied. She had quite a few beers in her by this time, too.

"You know….Woody."

"Woody….Woody….Woody, who?" she asked in jest.

"Now Jordan. Be honest with me. Let's play twenty questions. I'll ask the questions and you answer them first…and then you can ask me questions …"

"That's not fair…I should go first…"

"Nope. I helped you move. I'm the guest. I go first. So….are you really over Woodrow? Be honest."

Jordan sighed and sobered up just a little. "I think so….I don't know for sure. Time will tell. It's easier than I expected…coming back and working with him. We did say we would stay friends."

"So are you going to date anyone else?"

"I don't know. I've been too busy to think about it. It's not really my top priority right now, Nige."

"Men are not your top priority. What a shame. What is tops on your list right now, love?"

"It's hard to tell…I came back from Atlanta different, Nige. I've settled the scores with my past. I've stopped worrying about my mother's murder. I'm ready to go on with my life, but I don't know what that means right now. I used to think it meant my job…and as much as I love it, that's not it either."

"You need more than your job, Jordan. You're ready to be a complete person now. You need something else that fulfills you."

"Like what…and please, don't say a man."

"No…no…you can't find fulfillment in a person like that. You need a cause….that's it…something you want to devote your time to that isn't work related. Something that will help you feel complete."

"Such as?"

"I don't know, love. There are dozens of just and noble causes out there that would cry for your attention…adult literacy, mentoring children, helping senior citizens, animals….the non profit section in the phone book is full of wonderful organizations such as these."

Jordan thought for a moment. When she was younger, she would fill her spare time with friends and parties. Then, she went through the time when her mother's murder obsessed her. She was over both of those hurdles now. Maybe Nigel was right. Maybe she needed a "just and noble cause" to fulfill the other half of her. "I think you're right," she told him.

"Of course I'm right," Nigel replied, sounding just a little sleepy. He was dozing off on the couch. Jordan pulled the throw over him and turned off the light. She went into her kitchen and flipped to the yellow pages and scanned the non profits. There were a few that interested her. She would begin making phone calls tomorrow.

She phoned six non profits and actually went to visit two of them. They were good organizations…well structured and doing wonderful work. But she hadn't found one she could really feel good about volunteering at…one she wouldn't mind giving a substantial amount of her time and perhaps her money to. And Jordan knew exactly why she was going through this process. Part of the reason was to find something else to fill the void in her life. But the other part of the reason was a little more complicated.

It was for a sense of redemption.

She had screwed up her life. She knew it. Despite the good work she did as an ME, she had blown it as a person. She had alienated all of her friends at one time or another, with rifts so big between them that her relationships with them had never fully recovered. Even hers and Nigel's. She had successfully run her dad out of Boston… she feared that they would never regain what they once had as father and daughter. And she had practically pushed the one man she loved into another woman's arms…and he had never recovered from it. She had a hard time looking all of these people in the face.

She had an even harder time looking herself in the eyes every morning in the mirror. So many titles hung over her…adulteress, flirt, tease, uncaring, inconsiderate….she felt she wore them all the a Scarlet Letter on her chest. The good work she now wanted to do as ME and a person wouldn't erase these titles, but may help to ease her conscious and make the Scarlet Letter perhaps take on a different meaning, just as it had for Hester Prynne.