Summary: Not your normal fluff. Kaoru wakes up from an unpleasant dream, ready to seek Kenshin for consolation when she realizes that he hasn't come home yet. Unbeknownst to her, amber eyes glow in the shadow of her room, waiting to give her a surprise.
Warning: Mild sexual content. Fluff. Angst. Takes place around Seishouhen (slight spoilers). One-shot.
Over and Over Again
Kaoru's eyes snapped open. Her chest was heaving up and down with a force that hurt her ribs. Sweat gathered at her back, forehead, and neck, making her feel feverish. She would have very much liked to fling the heavy blankets aside, but her body was immobilized in fear. Still as a rock she laid, her breathing shallow and pulse fluttering erratically.
Moments after moments of silence passed; she listened as her heartbeat struggled to regain its regular pattern. With a trembling hand, she reached up to her neck, gently grabbing around it as if to make sure it was still in place. A sigh of relief escaped as she slumped back into her futon, feeling more relaxed.
Turning onto her side, she reached across the bed for a comforting presence – but there was none. Another sigh escaped her lips, this time of disappointment.
"Where are you, Kenshin?" She whispered into the cool night.
She closed her eyes, nightmare shoved into the back of her mind as she recalled the last time that she had seen her husband. It had been too long.
I
remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took
right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was
too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
A hiccup bubbled from her chest as she tried to repress a breakdown. It was a difficult task, considering that her eyes were ready to burn with tears for him, her heart ready to twist in agony, worrying over him.
She could easily imagine his expression if he ever saw her like this – dark brows furrowed, eyes hooded with pain as if he was the one to blame; with a voice gentle and laced with concern, he would ask,
"What's the matter, Koiishi?"
Kaoru started. The voice she had imagined in her mind almost sounded real. Her imagination was beginning to frighten her. Maybe she needed a bath. The nightmare had fried her rationale and bathed her in sweat. A bath would definitely help her rid both.
With a grunt, she propelled her sleep-indulged body upward. Her muscles were heavy, her neck stiff, legs shaky. Palm resting on a wall nearby, she waited for her body to awake before attempting to walk.
"Where do you think you're going, love?" A voice growled in her ear. She jumped.
Before she could turn around, strong hands grabbed her waist from behind. A lick dampened the nape of her neck.
"K-Kenshin!" She gasped, startled, heart returning to its erratic beats.
"You never answered my question."
She almost failed to heed his statement as her eyes fluttered close and she sank into the welcoming heat of his body. A familiar contentment flared in her heart when his comforting aura engulfed her. She had longed for this. She lived for this.
I
can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in
your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
Her eyes lazily opened again when he commanded,
"Look at me."
He put a hand under her chin and lifted it toward him so that she could glimpse glowing amber in the dark.
He felt her swallow.
"I was going to the bathhouse to take a bath." She finally answered.
"No, my other question."
"What question are you talking about, Kenshin?" Her confusion was apparent.
"What's the matter with you, Koiishi? I believe that was my question." He breathed into her ear.
She sighed with pleasure before tensing up. He chuckled when he heard her mumbled,
"I thought that was just my imagination."
"Were you fantasizing about me, sweetheart?" His voice now low, husky.
He tightened his hold on her.
"Kenshin no baka." She muttered, suddenly tearful. "Of course I was thinking about you! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to come back? I can never stop thinking of you, worrying over you, wondering what you are doing every minute. I miss you, Kenshin! That's what the matter is, it hurts because I love you so much and you're never home!"
Taken aback, Kenshin loosened his grip on her momentarily. Kaoru did not miss the chance to turn around in his arm. He looked at her, head downcast, bangs shadowing her face, unmistakable tears leaking down her cheeks. His eyes flashed with remorse.
He knew how much his absence hurt her, but she never showed it, never told him, allowing him to keep telling himself that she was all right with it.
"I'm sorry, Koiishi." He knew it was cliché, but he had to say it, "I never meant to hurt you." His words were heavy with emotions.
"Kenshin." she finally decided to look up, enabling him to study her features for the first time in five months. "You don't have to tell me. I know."
Their eyes met under the sliver of moonlight; an understanding and undeniable passion passed between the two.
He put his arms around her again, this time gentle instead of possessive, eyes a dark hue of blue. Fingers tilting her chin upward, he lowered his face onto hers, their lips moving against each other's in an exotic dance. Her hand weaved into his hair as his rested on her shoulder, pushing off the piece of yukata that covered her skin there. His hair tie had long fallen victim to Kaoru's exploring hands and was thrown into an unseen corner, never to be found. Blood-red hair scattered across his shoulders, falling before his face. He paid them no mind – his own hands were busy exploring, brushing across her arm, cupping the side of her breast, supporting her back. He groaned as he felt her warm lips nibble on his earlobe, small hands clawing at the opening of his gi. The woman was driving him off the edge!
Amber sparked in his eyes once more; he pulled her closer to him, angling her head to the side. He sensually licked across his lips as he scanned her exposed neck, knowing that she was watching him from the corner of her eyes. His head ascended her bare shoulder blade instead, lips softly biting the skin there, leaving marks of his presence on her.
She whimpered. An endearing sound to his ears.
He kissed down her neck, replacing biting with sucking and licking once he arrived at her chest. He did things with his tongue and fingers that left Kaoru's whole body flushing.
"Kenshin, bring me to bed." Even in her haze of pleasure, she realized that standing up against the wall was not exactly a comfortable position for either of them.
"What's wrong with standing here?" Kenshin asked, mischief clear in his voice. He was rewarded with a swat on his head.
"I said, bring me to bed."
"Maa, maa, calm down, Kaoru-dono. Sessha will bring you to your bed, that he will."
Kaoru giggled as her husband feigned innocence behind her rurouni persona. Moments like this really reminded her of their first encounter ten years ago.
So much had changed since then… Her thoughts were cut off as she was unceremoniously dumped onto her futon.
"Hey!"
Her next words were cut off as Kenshin gave her a feral smile.
It was going to be a busy night.
-
Kaoru rubbed her eyes and reached across her bed for a comfortable presence.
No one. Not even a tinge of warmth lingered in the spot next to hers.
She wasn't surprised. No other presence had accompanied her in bed for the last five months. But last night…
It must have been a dream.
A wonderfully pleasant dream that would leave her crying in its memories. Like always.
Cause
its on in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay
it over and over again
And I can't take it I can't shake it
Pitter-patters suddenly sounded at her ears. For a moment, she was hopeful that maybe it hadn't been a dream after all – until she realized that the sounds were not from footfalls, but raindrops.
She finally allowed the tears to spillover. If the heavens were crying, then she would cry with them. The droplets from her eyes soaked the pillow easily. She sobbed until her hand was clenching her heart, her body shaking from unsuppressed agony. Memories of his touch poured out from the corner of her eyes. It wasn't enough. She could never forget.
Now
that I've realizes that I'm going down
From all this pain
you've put me through
Every time I close my eyes I like it
I
can't go on not loving you
"Kaoru!"
As if her name was a spell word, her sobs waned instantly, though tears continued to escape her eyes, unimpeded.
"Why are you crying?"
She had many answers to that question. She cried because she thought last night was just a dream, because it hurt her to think about him leaving again, because it hurt him to think about leaving again, because their son would grow up without getting to know his father, because it was impossible for him to always stay by their sides, but most of all, because he never told her the six words that she needed to hear; even now, as he was cradling her in his arms, smoothing her hair, murmuring words of comfort into her ear, he wouldn't say those words: I will never leave you again.
She knew, of course, that he would never say them. He would leave again. Maybe an hour from now, maybe a day, or even a week or a month, but the results were the same. At the end, he would just end up breaking her, mending her, over and over again.
-Fin
A/N: I hope you guys like this one-shot. I don't usually do these, but this one just popped into my head. Its angst and not so happy ending are also things that surprise me because I'm such a sucker for romance and fluff. Anyway, please, please review. My encouragements come from reviews (which I meant by comments or constructive criticisms). Flames are rather pointless, but you are entitled to your opinions. Anyway, Happy New Year, everyone!