Disclaimer: I don't own Will and Grace. It belongs to KoMut. I also don't own "Missing." It belongs to Evanescence.
A/N: The story isn't exactly going to go by the lyrics. In fact, I threw the song in just because it has the same theme as the story. Enjoy.
A/N #2: I have an unhealthy obsession with Evanescence.
Summary: When Will tells Grace that he and Vince are going to get married, feelings she thought she buried resurface, so she leaves.
Genres: Drama/Romance/Angst
Will,
I'm sorry to do this to you, but I can't give you away at your wedding like we'd discussed. I think it's best that we don't see or speak to each other anymore. I'm moving out of the city. I'd tell you why I'm doing this, but I think it's best that you don't know. Please understand, this is something I need to do.
Vince is a very lucky man to have you, Will. You're going to be very happy with him. I wish you both many years of happiness. Consider this a wedding present.
Good-bye Will.
-Grace
Grace left her note on the table where Will would definitely see it when he woke up and then grabbed the bags she'd packed earlier and tiptoed quietly at the door.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
I should've brought an umbrella, Grace thought as she made her way up to the corner of Amsterdam Avenue. Rain was pouring, drenching her with every step and she was walking with four heavy suitcases.
For a moment, Grace reconsidered going back to Will's apartment. It was really unfair for her to do this to him, especially when his special day was finally coming up. Besides, he said it would mean everything to him if she gave him away.
No, Grace shook her head and kept walking. This was for the best. All these years she'd been holding him back from having a real relationship. She recalled how Vince almost dumped Will when she was crying over her divorce.
It was all my fault Grace thought. Since she'd moved into his apartment, she'd made sure that he was there for her whenever she needed him without having a social life of his own.
She knew Will would be upset and angry that she walked out on him, but in time he would be happy that she wouldn't there to disrupt his life. It's the best wedding present I can give him, Grace thought as she signaled a cab.
Besides, she wasn't just doing this for him. She was doing this for herself as well.
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Earlier that night, Grace had been sitting at home alone watching TV when Will had walked through the door with a huge grin on his face.
"What are you smiling about?" Grace had asked.
"Come in here and sit down," Will had said, excidedly.
Grace sat down on the living room couch and the bottom of the earth had fallen out when she'd heard these words:
"Vince asked me to marry him and I said yes."
It was the biggest acting job Grace had ever done when she screamed, jumped in his arms, hugged him, and pretended to be really happy for him when he gave her every detail about the night.
"Gracie, will you give me away?" Will had asked before they went to bed.
"I would be glad to," Grace had replied.
When he went into his bedroom, Grace had gone out on the terrace and felt tears coming on and once again she realized that she was still in love with Will and was never over him. That was when she decided to leave.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Why is it that you can never get a cab when you need one? Grace thought, frustrated. She remembered the night when she found out about Will's hetero rebound sex. She'd been so upset when she found out that she dismissed cabs who offered her rides. She told Will that she was upset because she thought that she was the one who turned him gay.
"It could've been awful with me," she'd said. "Why couldn't you make it awful with me?"
"Because I loved you," Will had replied. "I cared about you. I didn't want to put you through that. I needed to try it with someone I didn't love."
Grace had accepted that, but when she got home, she cried herself to sleep. The words Will had said stuck in her brain and it only made her wish more than ever that it was her he'd slept with.
When she met Leo, she never even thought about Will. But, when she'd met Leo's ex, Diane, and found out that she was Will's rebound girl, her anger flared once again. She hated Diane. She wanted to strangle her with her bare hands and she almost did.
While lying next to Leo that night, she wondered why she got so upset at the fact that Diane slept with Will, but wasn't jealous that this woman had actually shared an apartment with her husband. Then it was clear: she still loved Will.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Finally, a cab pulled up. Grace signaled the driver to open the trunk so she could put her bags in there and then sat in the back. Once she closed the door, the driver drove down Amsterdam. Grace stared out the window at the pouring rain thinking about when she broke up with Danny for good.
She'd blamed Will for making her think it was a bad idea. He didn't do anything, but it was because of him that she didn't get married. She was in denial at the time, but in the back of her mind she knew she was still in love with him and that was why she blamed him.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
She remembered when she talked to Vince's "Grace," Nadine after she burst out that she hated Will.
"You will never have him," Grace had said firmly.
That was what she said to herself all the time, but she never dared to say it out loud. Not only was she saying that to Nadine, but she was saying that to herself as well. Like Nadine, she'd hoped that Will being gay was just a phase, but when she said those words out loud, she knew it wasn't a phase.
When Nadine walked into the coffee shop, Grace considered sharing this with Nadine. After all, Nadine was thinking the exact same things she was. But, Grace wanted to help Will, so she said what she said.
"Lady, where am I taking you?" the driver asked.
Where is he taking me? Grace thought. She hadn't thought this out properly. Now she was homeless.
"I don't know," Grace replied. "Just drive around until I figure it out."
"I don't give joy rides, lady," the driver said. "So, either figure out where you want to go, or get out."
Grace ignored that comment and tried to think of where she could go. She had to go somewhere where Will couldn't find her. She couldn't go to Jack and Karen's. Those were the first places he'd look. She couldn't hide in her office. That's the second place she looked. But, she had to go somewhere.
"Park Avenue and 59th street, please," Grace said in a grim tone.
She looked behind her at the disappearing awning of where the apartment was. She couldn't believe she was leaving Will like this. She couldn't believe she would be spending the rest of her life without him. This is for the best, she told herself. Now you can finally accept the fact that he's gay and move on. Besides, deep down, this is what Will wants.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something…...
Grace grabbed her four heavy bags and knocked on the door of Karen's apartment. She probably could hide from Will, but Karen had a big mouth that could sell her out to him. The door opened and Grace was staring into the face of Rosario.
"Hi, Rosario," Grace said.
"If you want to see Miss Karen, she's asleep," Rosario said, her Spanish accentmonotone.
"Good," Grace said. "I don't want to bother her, I-"
"Rosie?" Karen's high squeaky voice said from upstairs. "Who's at the door? Is it one of your poker buddies from Mexico?"
"Lady, for the fiftieth time, I'm from El Salvador!" Rosario shouted back.
Karen walked into the room wearing a black negligee and a matching silk robe with (what else?) a martini glass in her hand. She took one look at Grace and her eyes widened in horror.
"Rosario, what have you done to Grace?" she screeched. "You made her look like one of Satan's minions!"
"She's wet, Count Drunk-ula!" Rosario yelled back.
Grace rolled her eyes as Rosario and Karen engaged in yet another round of bickering.
"You're the best," Karen said. "Now get some sleep. I need you to wake up early and scrub the floors until they're extra shiny."
Rosario walked out of the room muttering under her breath leaving Karen and Grace alone.
"Honey, what's this?" Karen asked, gesturing wildly. "What's going on? What's happening here?"
"I was in the rain trying to get a cab," Grace answered.
"Why would you be dumb enough to do that?" Karen asked.
"Because I forgot an umbrella," Grace said. "Look, I'm just going to get to the point so you can get back to bobbing for pills."
I can't tell her the truth, Grace thought. I have to lie. But, she couldn't lie to Karen. Karen was her female best friend. But, on the other hand, Karen wasn't exactly a decent person, so she would be easy to lie to.
"Will and I got in a fight," Grace lied. "It was pretty big and I need to move out. I need a place to stay until I figure out where to go."
"Honey, I'm not letting you stay here," Karen said. "The last time I let you stay, you turned into one of those lazy rich people who wouldn't do a hard day's work."
Like you? Grace thought.
"Do you still have that room booked for when you were staying at that hotel?" Grace asked. "Because I don't think will would find me there."
"Why don't you just kiss and make up like you always do?" Karen asked.
"It's more complicated than that," Grace lied again. "He said some really hurtful things to me and I don't think I can ever forgive him."
"Oh, honey," Karen's face suddenly looked sympathetic. "Hang tight for a second and I'll see what I can do."
She turned on her heel and walked out of the room and then came back moments later.
"Okay, honey, I booked you a suite at the Bryant Park Hotel," Karen said. "You can stay there as long as you like."
"Karen, that was unbelievably sweet of you," Grace said. "But, you didn't need to book me a suite."
"Oh, please," Karen said. "Stan used to eat there so much, they don't even make us pay anymore. Whenever they here the name 'Walker' they'll start kissing your ass.So basically, this is a free suite."
"Thanks," Grace said.
She gathered her things and walked out the door, but turned around in the doorframe.
"Karen, please don't tell Will where I am if he comes looking for me," Grace said.
"I promise," Karen said.
"Thank you."
Grace shut the door and went down to the Bryant Park Hotel. She dried herself off and went to bed. Here I am starting over again, Grace thought. She remembered when she was out on her own after she'd broken up with Danny. She walked into Will's apartment without saying a word, carrying the same suitcases she had today.
"Good-night, Will."
"Good-night, Gracie."
Grace's eyes filled with tears. She would never hear those words again. She would never see Will again, but she needed to do this. This was the only way she could move on. Good-night, Will, Grace thought. I hope you have a happy long life with Vince.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
The End
A/N: I'm thinking about doing a sequel, but I don't know what I should do. So, give me some ideas. Should Will try to find her? Should I get them together? Considered this a challenge. Also, I know my writing sucks, but bear with me.