The Mid-Year Exams were tomorrow, and I was taking a study break. Cramming had been scientifically proven to not be effective for long-term learning back on Earth, and I took that to heart. I spent a full 3 hours every night in revision, working everything I learned that week into the very grooves of my brain. I was set for tomorrow, tonight was just to refresh my memory on some of the older stuff and make sure the new stuff had stuck.

Plus, I had the conceit that test scores meant jack shit in the long-run. Jiraiya, Rock Lee, Uzumaki Naruto, what do they all have in common? They were the Dead Lasts of their respective years. Look where they ended up. As long as I didn't flunk out in the next 6 years and passed the Graduation Exam, I'd get that headband and be an official Genin of Konohagakure. If I was lucky, I'd get two teammates who weren't dead weight, we'd pass the second test and I'd get instruction from a Jonin. Otherwise, I'd join the Genin Corps and have to self-study and if I ever wanted to take the Chunin Exams I'd need to petition two other career Genin to take the test with me.

My classmates were… well, children. Mature by Earth's standards, but for the most part naive cherubs drawn in by propaganda, societal conditioning, and the idea of being a hero. The notable exception was Hyuuga Neji. Even as a 6-year old, he was a prick. And top of the class, he aced all the academics and he owned all the PT and Taijutsu spars. Not for nothing was he called the prodigy of the Hyuuga Clan in the anime. I was passing polite with him, but otherwise actively tried to avoid him. I wasn't Naruto, and I honestly just didn't feel motivated enough to attempt to jury rig a Talk no Jutsu for the Fate-obsessed boy. He could continue to be an antisocial nihilist for the entire time we shared a classroom, no skin off my nose either way.

Rock Lee and Tenten were in my class too. We hadn't started chakra training at all, so Lee's disability hadn't been discovered yet. He was decent at academics and while he was average in Taijutsu, never having exercised a day in his life before the Academy, he was improving at a noticeable rate. Tenten had the best accuracy scores and told anyone who stopped to listen how she was going to become as great a kunoichi as Senju Tsunade someday.

Other than the future Team Gai (assuming no butterfly effects, of course), the only other student that stuck out in my mind was Shiho. Blonde, wore glasses, and was easily the smartest girl in the entire year. I had a vague notion that she ended up in the Cryptanalysis unit and had an unrequited crush on Shikamaru. I'd been a fan, but it had been over 6 years since I'd seen an episode or read a chapter of Naruto. I could be forgiven for forgetting a few little details. Plus, I wasn't sure if any of the anime filler or movies counted as 'canon', and how accurate 'canon' was to this specific reality I was living in at that. I had to remind myself daily that my meta knowledge was merely a guideline, not a be-all end-all guide to this world.

And for the record, the Uchiha were everywhere. Rare was the day I didn't see at least one patrol from the Konoha Military Police Force. That coup attempt suddenly didn't sound so ridiculous to me, given perspective. I hadn't gotten my hands on an official census, but just looking at a map of Konoha, the Uchiha District took up a good fifth of the whole village. If the whole clan rose up in revolt, they might actually pull it off. Or at least cause a major amount of damage before they were put down like rabid dogs. I could almost sympathize with Danzo blackmailing Itachi into the Massacre. The loss of life if the coup went through would be debilitating, to say nothing of how it would make Konoha look on the world stage.

I looked from my seat at the kitchen table to my bedside drawer, where a framed photo of me and Naruto was placed next to a lamp and my alarm clock. As I'd promised my unofficially adopted little brother, I'd visited him every day. He never came right out and said it, but I could tell that his treatment had gotten worse without me there to protect him. But there was nothing either of us could do about that, so I focused on just brightening his day when I could. Less than a year until he was out of that place.

Shaking my head, I went back to reviewing the material I'd learned over the last few months.

The next morning, I packed my bookbag, tucking in my current text I was working through from the Library. That place was my home away from home, really. On Sundays, I spent hours in there, just reading and soaking up all the knowledge this world had to offer. The book in question was actually an introduction to the most common programming language used throughout the Elemental Nations.

Now, you might wonder at my fascination with computers. Well, I'd been a software engineer in my past life. I was a right proper computer geek. One of my first thoughts for mixing my knowledge from my past life with the elements of the Narutoverse had been advancing, leapfrogging, or otherwise cheating to upgrade computer science. And, one can never forget, the Narutoverse had chakra, aka ninja magic. I had a number of experiments I wanted to try out to see if I could achieve the Narutoverse equivalent of magitek and mix Jutsu with hardware and/or software.

So help me Kami, I would get a chakra-powered smartphone before I died.

On the topic of Narutoverse computers and other 'modern' technologies, it was all fairly familiar actually. I wasn't sure who to thank or blame for that, but this world's computers used integrated circuits in a Von Neumann architecture. Short-range radio and hardline telephones were also a thing, as were electrical grids, lightbulbs, batteries, and other basics. From what I could tell, they'd all been developed within the past century and so were still 'new'. And the level of technological progress apparently varied by country, this wasn't nearly the globalist culture that the Information Age had been born in back on Earth. Which might explain how the Land of Snow had trains but Konoha didn't even have a telephone in every building.

Shaking my head from idle thoughts, I made it to the Academy and went to my classroom.

Shinobi Singularity

"Shon-aniki!" Naruto called excitedly, running up to give me a hug as I entered the orphanage's backyard.

"Hey, Naruto," I grinned down at him. Apparently his stunted growth wasn't malnutrition as in fanon, he was just a late-bloomer. I was average height for my age, and I still had a good 3 inches on the blond Uzumaki scion. "Winter break started today, so I can stay as long as you want."

"Yay! Hey, how'd you do on that big test?" Naruto asked, pulling back to look up at me.

"Second in the class, actually," I said, honestly surprised. The academic side had been relatively easy, even regarding information I had to learn the old-fashioned way since my past life knowledge didn't apply. And I had a solid exercise regime and reviewed the kata, but I still hadn't expected to get such a high score on the physical side.

"Oh, wow! But hey, that means someone beat you. Is it that Neji guy you told me about?" Naruto asked.

"Yep. To be expected, really. He's the nephew of the current Hyuuga Clan Head, he's been training to be a shinobi since he could walk and talk," I shrugged.

"Aw, that's not fair! How come he gets a headstart over all the other kids?" Naruto frowned.

"I'll let you in on a little secret, Naruto. Ready? Life isn't fair. Never was, never will be. Just have to make do," I told him, trying to impart wisdom.

"Ah, whatever, you'll catch up with him and then he'll be second to you in no time! Now, come on! Push me on the swing!" Naruto said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the swingset.

A solid half-hour of swinging later, Naruto was still going strong. In fact, he only stopped because a certain elderly Sarutobi wearing a certain hat stepped into the backyard and was immediately mobbed by the other kids. "Hokage-jiji!" Naruto shouted loud enough to be heard from the other side of the yard. He jumped off the swing and sprinted to his grandfather figure, as I followed at a more sedate pace.

This wasn't a new occurrence. Every 2 or 3 months, the Sandaime Hokage would visit the orphanage. While certainly effective at inspiring the next generation to enroll in the Academy and bolster the ranks, I was pretty sure that these visits were just a smokescreen to Hiruzen checking in on Naruto. And I would bet all the money I had that a good chunk of the other kids' dislike and mistreatment of Naruto stemmed not from the staff's example but their jealousy that the Hokage paid special attention to Naruto. But what could you do?

"Ah, Naruto-kun. Exuberant as always," Hiruzen chuckled, reaching down to ruffle Naruto's hair after he muscled his way to the front of the small crowd of kids clustered around the village leader. Now, to be fair, he'd do the same for any of the other kids who approached him, and remember that kid's name. Still, I saw a couple glares from the other kids aimed at my little bro.

"Hey, hey, Hokage-jiji! Shon-aniki got second place in the Mid-Year Exam thingy!" Naruto said excitedly after a minute of conversing with Hiruzen.

Hiruzen hummed in thought and his razor-sharp eyes lifted to land on me. Now, let me tell you something. He may be old. He may have atrophied from years behind a desk. He may be in a good mood and in no way trying to be threatening. But when the motherfucking God of Shinobi looks at you, you feel it. I was a mere kitten, and the biggest, toughest, most deadly lion in the whole pride was close enough to kill and eat me if he so wished. At least, that's how I felt when Sarutobi Hiruzen focused on me. I only had to remember that this guy, rusty and geriatric, had still managed to hold off a zombie Hashirama, Tobirama, and Orochimaru himself 3-on-1 to know this guy deserved my respect.

"Hoh? That's quite impressive, Shon-kun," Hiruzen complimented.

"Is it really, Hokage-sama? The first year of the Academy is barely any different from any other civilian school apart from a heavier focus on physical education. It won't be until we start working with chakra that we find out if I have any real talent at being a shinobi. But I thank you," I said politely with a bow of my head.

"There's more to being a shinobi than tossing around big Jutsu, Shon-kun. Let me ask you a question: you and a teammate are in the field. Your teammate is captured and a kunai is held to their neck. What do you do?" the Hokage asked me.

"How many enemy forces are there and what are their power levels relative to me and my teammate?" I asked immediately.

"Does it matter?" Hiruzen asked, though his eyes flashed with what was probably admiration.

"Of course. If it's just me and my teammate against one lone enemy of comparable power, then I could just use Kawarimi with the enemy. My teammate is no longer a hostage and the two of us can tag-team the enemy. If there are at least 4 enemies of comparable skill against me and my captured teammate, the smart option would be to use Kawarimi with the kunai the enemy is using, then drop a smoke bomb and try to escape with my freed teammate before they catch us and we're outnumbered. If it's, say, a Jonin holding my teammate hostage, we're outnumbered 10-to-1, or Kami forbid there's multiple Jonin, then I would use Kawarimi with my teammate, order them to run, then use some form of suicide Jutsu or Explosion Tag to try and take the enemy down with me. All this assuming that de-escalation and negotiation tactics didn't work to stop it from coming to such drastic measures in the first place," I answered after a second of thought.

The orphans were all staring at me. Naruto looked horrified. And Hiruzen had a look of surprised glee. "What?" I asked.

"Aniki… you would kill yourself?" Naruto asked like it hurt just to say it.

"If I had to," I said soberly. "Naruto, you might have this childish idea that a shinobi is this knight who rides in to save the princess and beat the bad guy. But that's not how it really works. A shinobi, first and foremost, is a living weapon in service to their respective Kage. My job is to complete the mission or die trying, and to ensure that all other shinobi on the mission survive to the best of my ability. In the event I was outnumbered and/or outmatched and my comrade's life at stake, the only option that makes any sense would be to die in their place and take as many of the enemy down with me as I could. My teammate could potentially escape to complete the mission, and the enemy village or force loses some of their numbers. Cold, hard math. And again, I'd only resort to that if I couldn't talk the enemy down, make some kind of deal to let my teammate go."

"A very mature, logical argument, one I hardly expected from one your age," Hiruzen said. "But humor me with another question. If the enemy demanded the vital document you were carrying in exchange for your comrade's life, how would you respond?"

I looked him in the eye. "That would entirely depend on who was my Hokage at the time, sir."

"Oh? Do elaborate," Hiruzen said with a thoughtful frown.

"With respect, Hokage-sama, you're a known pacifist. If you were my Hokage in this situation, I would hand over the document. Even though there's no guarantee that the enemy would honor their agreement and free my teammate, I know you would approve of me valuing my comrade's life over the mission. And as my Hokage, my leader, the general of the army I have volunteered to serve, I would try to act in a manner which you would prefer. If, say, your colleague Shimura Danzo was Hokage, then I would flee and leave my teammate to rot to complete the mission. And if the Hokage had some personal dislike or grudge against the enemy's village, I would go with the direct conflict option over negotiating. You see what I mean?"

"I do indeed," Hiruzen said. "Is my old rival's reputation such that even a first-year Academy student is aware of his rather callous regard for a shinobi's life?"

"I read a lot," I shrugged. "Certain ANBU missions have been declassified and are public record. The actions of his Root division during the Second and Third Shinobi Wars show a pattern of maximum enemy casualties and completing the mission at the cost of all else. Fun fact, before you disbanded it, Root had the shortest life-expectancy of any segment of Konoha's forces. Anyway, have I answered your questions to your satisfaction?"

"Above and beyond what I anticipated," he nodded. "I'll be keeping an eye on you, Shon-kun. Whatever your physical skills and aptitudes, you certainly have the mind of a soldier already. In time, we may even see if you have the mind of a leader as well."

"Is that code for 'get good enough to become the Godaime and I can retire again as soon as possible'?" I asked jokingly.

Hiruzen burst out in belly laughter. "Well, you never know. Is that a goal of yours, getting this hat?"

"Hell no, that's Naruto's dream. Let him deal with all the politics and paperwork. I'll settle for being the best shinobi I can be," I replied.

Hiruzen shrugged. "Fair enough. Still, I've been pleasantly surprised by you, Shon-kun. I really will be keeping an eye on your progress."

"No pressure," I said in deadpan.

"None at all," Hiruzen chuckled. He pulled out his pipe and lit it with a casual display of Fire nature chakra before focusing on the kids again. "So what have you all been up to since my last visit?"

Naruto and I went back to the swing. He was quiet, and he barely put any energy into what was normally his favorite pastime.

"What is it, Naruto?" I asked, though I had a good idea.

"Shon-aniki… why do you want to be a shinobi? It sounds a lot scarier than I thought it was, the way you tell it. I still want to be Hokage, but why did you enroll if you knew you were signing up for shit like what Hokage-jiji just talked about?" Naruto asked, looking over his shoulder at me.

I gave a sigh. "Do you really want to know?"

"I do," Naruto said without any hesitation.

"Fine. Self-preservation," I answered.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"Naruto, you know how they told us how the Yondaime Hokage killed the Kyuubi?" I asked.

"Yeah, what about it?" Naruto asked.

"Think about that. Really think. A man, a human, a creature of flesh and blood born as weak and helpless as anyone else in the world, got strong enough to kill a demon that could crush buildings with one hand. Hell, they say the Kyuubi could topple mountains or start tsunamis with one flick of its tails. And the Yondaime beat it. Absorb that, let it sink into your brain. And then accept that the Yondaime Hokage, while arguably the greatest shinobi of his generation, wasn't the strongest shinobi ever. There are people out there stronger than he was. There are people just as strong as he was. There are people only a step or two below him. The guy who killed a freaking Bijuu," I laid out.

"O-oh," Naruto said, turning pale as a ghost.

"We live in a world where there are individuals strong enough to kill a Bijuu," I told my little brother in all but blood. "What else might they do, if they chose to? Naruto, you haven't read the history books like I have, but there are whole villages that were formed and then wiped out during the Shinobi Wars. Some of them were by armies of Genin and Chunin, but some of them were wiped out by just a few Jonin or a Kage attacking that village and burning it to the ground. Ordinary, untrained humans are like ants for a S-rank ninja to crush. You ask why I wanted to be a shinobi? The simple answer is because I wanted to be harder to kill. I know it's a long shot, but if I end up the strongest shinobi in the world, I'll also be the hardest to kill. That's why. While there's every chance I could die in the line of duty, becoming a shinobi was ironically the best way to stay alive in this crazy world we live in. You understand?"

"I'm starting to," Naruto said. His face was pensive, his eyes far away as he digested all I had told him.

To cheer him up from this rather depressing episode, I pulled out a trump card I'd been saving for something special. "Oh, by the way, I was reading a book about the Land of Whirlpools. Did you know the Uzumaki Clan is actually kind of famous there?"

"WHAT?!" Naruto exploded, going off like a firework at the possibility of information about his clan, his family, the parents he never knew.

"Oh, yeah. From what I read, the Uzumaki Clan were cousins to the Senju Clan, the clan the Shodai and Nidaime Hokages belonged to. They founded Uzushio the way the Senju and Uchiha founded Konoha. They were famous for their prowess in Fuinjutsu and their incredible physical energy. Seriously, they're considered to this day to have been the best Fuinjutsu users in the world, and they all lived well into their hundreds."

"Are they still there? I've never heard of Uzushio!" Naruto asked excitedly.

My smile lost a few molars. "Uzushio got wiped out in the Second Shinobi War. There's nothing but ruins there now, sorry little bro. But now we know at least one of your parents was Uzumaki, they wouldn't give a famous clan name like that to just anyone. You must have some Uzumaki blood in you."

"I have a clan," Naruto said in awe. "Hey, Shon-aniki, what's Fuinjutsu?"

"For some reason, certain symbols written down in certain configurations and charged with chakra affect reality. There's the basic stuff like Storage Seals and Explosion Tags that you can buy at any shinobi tool store. But they can do almost anything if you know what you're doing. You know ninja Summons, those giant talking animals some shinobi can call to their aid? You have to sign a contract to summon them, and those contracts are made with Fuinjutsu. I read that the Uzumaki Clan even found a way to summon the freaking Shinigami using Fuinjutsu," I told Naruto.

"That sounds so cool!" Naruto said, eyes alight with happiness and eagerness to learn. "I gotta get my hands on that shit myself!"

"Well, you may have to wait awhile," I sighed. "It's not taught in the Academy, I checked the curriculums for all 6 years. You'll have to graduate, then go looking in the Shinobi Library or get an apprenticeship to an existing Fuinjutsu master."

"Aw, man!" Naruto whined.

I debated whether to add anything else, but I had a soft spot for Naruto. He had that effect on you, he kinda wormed his way into your heart without even trying. "The book I read mentioned how the Uzumaki were famous for their bright red hair. You must get your blond locks from your other parent. Anyway, I can go looking through the old Academy yearbooks, see if there's anyone named Uzumaki or with bright red hair. I mean, for all we know you had Uzumaki grandparents and your parents were both civilians. But still, it's worth checking, right?"

"I love you, Shon-aniki!" Naruto shouted, jumping off the swing and tackling me with a hug.

"Love you too, Naruto," I chuckled, rubbing his back.

Shinobi Singularity

I enjoyed winter break, visiting Naruto every day and catching up on my extracurricular reading. Then classes restarted and it was back to the grind of school life. 5 months later, we had the First-Year Finals. I once again landed squarely in second place behind Neji. Said prodigy treated me to a 3-minute rant about how it was my 'Fate' to be inferior to him, for I was a no-name orphan and he was from the great Hyuuga Clan. It all went in one ear and out the other, and then I went to visit Naruto when we were released for the day. I had a certain yearbook tucked into my backpack.

I found Naruto, of all things, reading in his bed. "Yo. This is the last place I expected to find you," I said.

"Oh, hi Aniki! The matron took us all on a field trip to the Library, and I checked out this book on Fuinjutsu! They have a whole chapter just on my clan, how cool is that? I mean, they don't actually teach anything about Fuinjutsu, just a lot of going on about all the things it can do but not actually talking about it, know what I mean? Anyway, how'd you do on the Finals?" Naruto asked in a rush. He really was just caught in a perpetual sugar rush between his Uzumaki vitality and Kurama's Yang energy filtering into his system.

"Second place, like at the Mid-Year Exams. But this is just the first year of six, it'll probably change once we get into harder topics and others find their talents," I said. "Anyway… I found your parents."

He shot up ramrod straight. "Really?!" he gasped.

"Yeah. But if I'm right about who your dad is… you need to keep this secret, Naruto," I said.

"What?! WHY?!" Naruto demanded.

"If, I repeat, IF I'm right about who your dad is, then he was a very famous shinobi. And how do shinobi get famous?" I asked.

Naruto's face fell as he realized where I was going with this. "By killing lots of people?" he asked hesitantly.

"If my theory is correct, then a good third of Iwa would rip your head off and piss on your corpse if they found out you're this man's son. And he made enemies in the other villages too. I won't tell you who he might be, Naruto, unless you can swear you won't tell another living soul. Can you promise to keep this secret?" I asked.

Naruto gulped. Then he set his shoulders. "I promise, Shon-aniki."

I looked in his eyes and saw he was being honest. Nodding, I pulled out the yearbook from my backpack and opened to a dog-eared page. "This is your parents' graduating class. I think you can pick out your mom and dad just by their looks."

Naruto took the yearbook and his eyes raced hungrily over the class photo. He brought up a trembling hand to point. "That's my mom. She has the bright red hair you told me about. And that's gotta be my dad, it's like looking in a mirror. Who are they? What are their names?"

I took a breath and prepared myself to rock his whole world. "Her name is Uzumaki Kushina. She had the nickname 'Red Hot-Blooded Habanero'. Based on what I've dug up, she had a habit of beating up anyone who made fun of her dream to be the first female Hokage."

Naruto gave a wet chuckle, wiping his tearing eyes. "Guess I take after her, huh? What about my dad?"

I braced myself. "His name is Namikaze Minato. When he grew up, he became known as the 'Yellow Flash'. He's also known as the Yondaime Hokage."

Naruto froze. "My… my dad was the Yondaime?" he asked in disbelief.

"Like you said, it's like looking in a mirror. There's a chance we're wrong, but until proven otherwise, yeah, I'm going to say you're the son of a Hokage," I nodded. "And remember what I said, about how you would inherit his enemies if anyone found out? That's probably why nobody told you."

Naruto frowned. "Are we sure anyone knows? Were they even married? None of the stories talk about the Yondaime having a wife. What if he just knocked her up and I'm only his bastard?"

Like I said, kids grow up fast in this world. "That's a possibility," I allowed.

"But it's wrong," Hiruzen said, shocking the hell out of me and Naruto. It was as if he'd appeared from thin air in the room with us, I hadn't heard or seen or otherwise sensed his approach at all. Like I said, God of Shinobi. "Your mother and father were married and very much in love, Naruto-kun."

"Hokage-jiji… why didn't you tell me?" Naruto asked, sounding heartbroken.

"As Shon-kun warned you, there are a great many people who would want to kill you in a misguided attempt at getting revenge against the memory of your father. Quite frankly, Naruto-kun, I couldn't trust that you would keep your mouth shut and not shout that you were the Yondaime's son from the rooftops. I apologize, but that's the truth," Hiruzen said, looking like he felt every one of his years.

Naruto frowned, but slowly nodded. "Okay. I understand, I guess. You were trying to protect me. So, when were you going to tell me? What are you even doing here?"

"I was planning to reveal your parentage when you became a Chunin or turned 16, whichever came first," Hiruzen answered. "As for why I was here to eavesdrop on this conversation, I told Shon-kun I'd be keeping an eye on him. When he started going through the old yearbooks in the Academy library, I knew it was only a matter of time before he deduced your parents' identities. Your resemblance to your father really is quite remarkable, and you're both aware of the Uzumaki clan's characteristic red hair. I followed Shon here from the Academy," Hiruzen answered.

Naruto gulped. "Who else knows? Who else knew when I didn't know?" he asked.

"Jiraiya, your father's Jonin-sensei. Your parents' closest friends and others from their generation who were aware of their relationship. A number of Jonin and ANBU with the clearance to know why you have a protective detail. That's it for those in Konoha. I'm unsure how many foreign shinobi were aware Kushina was pregnant and at least suspect your father had a child. If and when you make a name for yourself and your face becomes known, I'm positive others will see the resemblance and make their own conclusions," Hiruzen told him.

Naruto nodded. He seemed to gather himself. Then he looked up at both me and Hiruzen. "I am Uzumaki Naruto. I am the son of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato. I'm going to become a better Hokage than my dad, and make the world remember why they respected and feared my mom's clan. That's a promise, dattebayo!"

Huh. I was wondering when the verbal tic would pop up. Appropriate that it would come during a suitably dramatic moment.

"I believe you," I said simply.

"I'm sure you'll do amazing things, Naruto-kun," Hiruzen grinned.

Naruto grinned. "Count on it, Hokage-jiji."