Howl

Disclaimer: Well, I've graduated from Jimmy Eat World to Yellow Card, but, still I sit in my pajamas with a blanket, and still, I don't own Wolf's Rain or Yellow Card, OR Jimmy Eat World (but, if I did, I'd probably still write fan fiction about them. Or, maybe I'd just make the stuff I wanna happen, happen in the show...hm...). By the way, it's my parent's anniversary today. Hurray! this is good, because it means they'll go out to celebrate, and I'll get to stay home and write. Damnit, that's right. I've got homework...Oh well. That's what Sunday night is for. (Evil smile).

Rating: R. Because Wolf's Rain has an R in it. And a capital R at that. So, there.

Chapter 4 - Blue

Tsume watched the retreating figure of Sou, and rolled his eyes. Never before had he met such an enigma of a person. In wolf form, she was beautiful. Thick, shaggy black fur, with the occasional streak of grey, coated her, and was healthy looking. Except for those scars. There were more scars on her than on him, which was amazing. And terrifying. What had she gone through to receive them? When they had reached the clearing, and seemingly rescued her, she had been fighting for her life. Her moves were graceful, and she hadn't even flinched when they cut into her with knives. Then Sou had taken human form, and he had been shocked. Tsume had never seen a more striking human, ever.

As a human, her hair was long and braided, black with two thick gray streaks on either side of her beautiful face. Sou's eyes were a vibrant green, and the only eyes he could compare them to were Kiba's. They seemed to speak only the truth, and when he had asked her if she was all right, he knew she had lied, because her eyes had told him so. They had been full of pain, and terror. Only a small trace of terror, mind you, because she had been denying it. As if she hated to think of herself as weak.

Just like him.

Sou wore a black tank top, complete with a silver and green dragon mural on the back, and torn, faded jeans. Maybe she hadn't changed them in awhile, because directly beneath one of the torn areas was a scar. Silvery and painful looking, it had twisted and stretched when she had stood up, but her face had betrayed none of the pain she must have felt. It had been a stony mask, and looking at the lengths she went to in order to appear 'just fine' had pained him. And it had sparked his curiosity. What, or who, had done something so horrific that she would do this to herself? Who had made her howl that night? Who was Mashin?

What was she running from?

Sou staggered blindly through the trees, thinking now after ostensibly hours of walking, against the screaming of her pride, that she should turn back and maybe accept their help. A little voice whispered that if she didn't turn back now, she wouldn't make it anyways. Her pride rambled that it was better to die than to accept help from anyone, wolf or not, again. Voices speaking different opinions jumbled together until they were all one influence, telling her to do different things, trying to make her bend to their will. Sou felt it as an imposing presence, something trying to take away her freedom, her mind, trying to hook her up into a leash and collar.

She struggled against it, trying to silence the babbling voices that spoke to her, but they just got louder. A thought, quiet in comparison, whispered to her and asked her, are you going crazy?

"I don't know!" Sou screamed, trying to gain the upper hand in this tug-of-war. The strain of the past few days now caught up to her, dragging her down. She dropped to her knees and put her head in her hands, sobbing, "I don't know...Leave me alone..." Her breathing was ragged, tearing in and out of her lungs like hot and cold fire.

Sou couldn't comprehend what had happened to her. Why was she thinking this way? What was wrong? A voice detached itself from the yelling and said to her consciousness, "It's the fever, you have to go back. Quick, go, go, go, go, go...."

A mantra began now, all the voices combining to create one booming entity, chanting that damn word over and over again. Sou's thinking became muddled, and she started to run, trying to escape the speakers in her mind. A wound in her side opened up, and that twanging in her midsection began again. The scar on her thigh that Mashin had given her was twitching and burning, the full out running she had been doing lately taking its toll finally.

Pounding footfalls were replaced by the thumping of paws, hitting the ground in a steady rhythm, in sync with each other. Spittle formed at the corners of her wide mouth and was flung backwards from the force of her running. A long pink tongue lolled out and hung there, slapping against Sou's chin, but she didn't notice it. She became immersed in her running, the bumping of her footfalls taking over her consciousness and giving her something else to concentrate on besides the yelling in her head.

Sou burst into a circle of trees, her heart hammering in her chest. A lone figure stood in the center of the clearing, looking at her with wide, innocent eyes. She halted, stilling in the cool night air. To her wolf eyes, everything suddenly appeared surreal, clearer than it should be. Her ears pricked and caught every decibel of sound. She felt the blood trickling down from the gash in her side, heard it splash, drop by drop, against the unforgiving ground. The scent of Toboe's fear and surprise was tangy in her sensitive nose, and suddenly the voices were quiet, and the adrenaline that had given her the energy to run from herself drained, leaving her wasted inside.

"Sou?" The small voice was hesitant, quiet in comparison to her heaving breaths. "Sou?"

Sou blinked, pressure building up behind her eyes and nose, and she fell to her hands and knees, a human again, and gasped out, "Get...Tsume...and the others..." Little black dots sprinkled across her vision and she toppled over onto her side, then back, her head whirling and feeling dizzy even though she was on the ground. Sou waited for the lightheadedness to go away, but it didn't.

Toboe appeared by her side, kneeling and shaking her battered body. "Are you alright? Say something! Sou? SOU!"

His voice mingled into nothingness as Sou lost consciousness.

Silence reigned between the pack members. Kiba was staring at the sky with a blank look, seeing but not seeing. Hige was feigning sleep, but kept rolling over, and his stomach was growling again, so Tsume knew he was awake. Toboe was still absent.

Tsume himself was sitting on the bough of a tree overhead, thoughts whirling through his head at a speed incomprehensible. Thoughts that he should have gone after Sou sped around and around, challenged by the knowledge she wouldn't have accepted his help anyways. Everything that popped into his mind was immediately contradicted by another that followed it, just as fast.

The thumping of paws against the hard ground filtered through the white noise of the night. Tsume leaned forward, intent on the sound. Kiba sat up on his elbows, his mane of unruly brown hair wavering slightly, and before Kiba turned his head, Tsume caught a glimpse of his eyes, sharp with intelligence and filled with worry. His eyes could be as cold as an assassin's or as warm as a brother's. While Kiba's facial features may remain expressionless and stoic, his eyes always told the truth.

So much like Sou's.

At almost the same time that thought flitted across his mind, Toboe burst into the area in which they were resting. His tongue was hanging out, and his eyes held worry and fear. Tsume jumped down from the branch and stood beneath the large oak tree.

"Where've you been, runt?" Tsume voiced the question on the wolves' minds.

Toboe's answer was swift and urgent. "There's no time, Sou's in trouble. We've gotta help her, and I'm not strong enough to do it by myself."

"She does seem to get in a lot of trouble, doesn't she?" Tsume muttered.

"She doesn't want our help, kid." Kiba's answer sounded tired, as if the weight of the world was too much for his young shoulders to hold. When Tsume looked over at him, he saw that the alpha hadn't moved.

"But--"

"We can't help her until she'll let us!" Hige had spoken this time, with much more emotion than Kiba, and he too now stood, glaring at the youngest of the pack. "So, shut UP!"

Hige's heaving breaths filled the air, and his face was flushed with anger. All the wolves were disturbed and out of sync from the meeting with Sou. The only difference was that Tsume and Kiba chose not to show it. However, that skill was quickly becoming hard for Tsume to utilize, as he found himself caring about what had happened to Sou.

"Toboe, calm down. Exactly what kind of trouble is she in?" The gruff voiced wolf couldn't seem to help but ask, thought Hige. What does he care about her? An image of Blue being in danger hit Tsume like a physical blow, leaving him breathless, and scaring him shitless. But Tsume wasn't even capable of loving someone like he loved Blue...was he?

"She's all sweaty, and her breath is weird. She's mumbling and when I found her she was running around in circles like a crazy person. She...kinda scared me. But then she stopped and looked at me and she fell down and told me to come find you, Tsume. And then she said, 'and the others'. And I'm really worried--"

"Let's go." Hige looked at Tsume, and had to fight to control his shock. The gray wolf was alert and appeared pretty agitated, amazing for a person who does his fucking best to appear unaffected by anything and everything. "Well, what are you waiting for, runt? Show me where she is!"

Toboe stalled, then nodded and swiftly took off in the direction he had come from, changing into a brown wolf as he sprinted towards the girl. Hige looked at Kiba, who had gotten up during Tsume's exchange with the pup, and then followed as the alpha dodged through the trees after the pair.

Sou took one look at the gangsters' face and took off. It didn't matter anymore that they had taken her food. What mattered was that even if she did get it back, the wounds she would sustain from the fight wouldn't be worth it. And she was feeling so tired, even though it had been weeks since her miscarriage. As a wolf, she should have been able to recover already, but she hadn't.

Life on the streets was as hard in this town as it was in any other. The gangs were just as mean, the people just as uncaring, and the wolves just as...absent. She'd only seen one, a large black female like herself, named Blue, and she had liked her a lot. Blue had been in town dodging soldiers and had given Sou shelter and food while she was passing through. Blue was only a half-wolf, but was twice the canine than any other wolf she had previously met. While staying with her, Sou had had another one of the nightmares that had plagued her since the incident with Mashin, and Blue had wanted to know what was wrong. Sou still remembered the worry and concern in her eyes; such blue eyes that seemed to drill into whatever target they pursued.

It was the honesty in Blue's eyes that had led Sou to tell her what had happened with Mashin. Honesty that was so lacking in the actions and words of the gangsters chasing her. The scars inside her womb from Mashin's beating twitched and convulsed, sending pain ricocheting through Sou's body. An old-fashioned fire escape hung from the side of a building bordering the alleyway that she was running through. The footsteps of the kids chasing her echoed to her sensitive ears, and Sou managed to gather enough energy to leap up and land on the iron platform. She stood up cautiously, and turned to see the humans chasing her arrive at the mouth of the alley, sporting knives. They saw her standing on the fire escape and started toward her. One of the adults, a blond with pale white skin, stepped ahead of the others and held up a hand. On cue, the rest of the pack stopped and looked up at her silently. The pack master looked up at her and said in a loud, clear voice that dripped menace and insincerity, "How'd you get up there, missy?"

Sou didn't answer, only turned away and started climbing up the ladders to the roof of the apartment building. Shouts of anger and obscenities followed her up, but she ignored them and keep on going. Sou's head popped over the top of the roof, and she climbed up over the ledge. Her thigh scar burned, and she felt exhausted and ready to give up, but she made it to a small shack on the rough surface and tried the doorknob. The gate swung open and she walked in a bit unsteadily, then collapsed in the corner and slept.

Quiet voices trickled through her ears and registered in her mind. To say she knew they would come would be conceited, but she felt safe again, the same way she had felt when she had been with the four males. Sou opened her eyes, and was confronted by a person she never thought she'd see again.

"Blue?"