Author: Dwight4Studly
Rating: R
Summery: On what was intended to be a normal night at Grimmauld Place turns to be the most disastrous night of his life. One-shot (RemusxSirius)
Warning: suggestions of sex, slight gore, language, and character death
A.N./ Well … I was in a mood not long ago when I wrote this. I finally finished it, so I might as well post it. I hope you guys like it, and if you do: review!
"Remus. Have you eaten dinner? I didn't see you down here when I was cooking." Molly Weasley called from behind the thick oak door, interrupting Remus' train of words on the piece of parchment.
"I'm eating with Sirius tonight, Molly. Thank you." Remus called back, dipping his quill into his ink once more, feeling slightly agitated.
"Oh … Alright dear. Well, Arthur and I are leaving. I will see you tomorrow."
"Good night Molly. See you tomorrow." And with that Remus could hear her footsteps fade into the hall.
Remus sighed and blew a soft gust of air onto the drying ink before closing the tattered ruffled pages, enclosing the thick parchment in its beaten brown leather bound cover.
Once Molly was leaving it was evident that the other members were starting to clear out.
Remus let himself enjoy a wicked smile. "Just us tonight, love …"
He leaned back in his chair to stretch, hearing his spine crack from top all the way down. His lithe muscles tightened and strained, ribs protruding. He frowned at this. They were both getting too thin. Maybe a nice meal would change things a little. He hadn't eaten since his early breakfast in bed anyway.
Honestly, he didn't have time to eat. When Dumbledore would give him assignments, they would come in periods of every other week. This week was one he didn't want to waste. Everyday his fears grew.
He could feel something inside of him. He knew something was happening. While he was on one of his assignments, on every night that he could not feel the warmth of Sirius' body next to his, he would dream. Dreams of shrill sounds and of black gauze and gentle, evil wind; of cries, of tears, of ache. He would always feel the tears and the ache all over his body his next waking hour, only to wash them away with promises of Sirius' kisses.
A sharp chill ran down Remus' spine and the small hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.
"Sirius?" he called out.
No answer.
He stood from his chair and walked over to the broad door, opened it, and walked out into the hall.
"Sirius?" He called again. The dark house was eerily quiet. But then … just there. He could hear something through the floorboards above him.
Panic flooded him as he bolted up the stairs. "Sirius!" he yelled, throwing boxes and furniture out of his way as he made a mad dash toward the attic. The door was just in front of him, but he felt he just couldn't get there fast enough. The doorknob felt like dry ice against his palm as he swung it open to reveal …
Before him knelt his beloved, cowering and whimpering as a dark hooded figure with gruesome rattling breath loomed over him. The room was icy cold and he could see the shuddered breathe of his lover who rocked back and forth, not able to take his wide stricken eyes away from the figure.
"No …" Sirius moaned as tears ran visibly down his cheeks.
Suddenly a sharp crack filled the air and the dementor writhed into a form that lay on the ground. Remus gasped as he recognized it as James. His young body lay twisted on the ground, once wide bright hazel eyes now dull and lifeless.
"No …" Sirius shuddered as a cry spilled from his lips and he grabbed his head, shaking it violently.
Another sharp crack filled the air and James' dead body split into two forms. One was of Harry. Remus had to control himself from vomiting at the sight, bile agitating the back of his throat. Harry lay on his back; his body was contorted with visible signs of the Cruciatus Curse. He stared with dry, pale green eyes directly at Sirius, as if accusingly. Beside him lay the figure of Remus himself.
He too lay on his back, eyes wide and transparent of life. His light brown hair was matted and caked with dark blood, a large wound gushed crimson life from his temple. Bones in his legs and right arm jutted out of the torn and bloodied flesh, apparently broken from some sort of struggle. His shirt was ripped open, empty chest stained with a deep gash that spilled blood as it tried in vain to fill the place of the nonexistent heart.
Remus was brought back from his daze as he heard his lover muffle sobs and a heavy retch as he doubled over, gripping his head in his hands. Remus jumped forward and another crack filled the intense air and the room was bathed in a whitish blue glow as the full moon dominated the space. He hastily brushed it aside and it shredded into a thousand wisps that glided gracefully to wither at the floor as he fell to his knees beside his heaving lover.
"Sirius! Sirius … it's fine now … it was just a boggart. Just a boggart …"
Sirius quivered profusely, clinging to Remus when he knelt down beside him. Sirius looked as if he didn't recognize him, his eyes watery and searching. Remus kissed the tears away from his eyes and cradled him closely as his mother had done once for him, rocking back and forth, whispering sweet nothings gently into his ear. His rigid body relaxed, leaning into Remus' arms, occasionally choking back a hiccup. Remus ran his thin fingers through Sirius' ebony mane, feeling the silky strands slide through his fingers as his free hand stroked the small of his back comfortingly.
"Remus …" whispered Sirius hoarsely, nuzzling into Remus' nape.
"Yes Padfoot?" Remus whispered, pulling slightly back to look into the face of his beloved.
" … Thank you." Sirius said quietly, looking downcast.
Remus smiled and ran his hand from Sirius' hair to his cheek, cupping it lovingly. He raised the face to meet his eyes. He smiled warmly and Sirius hesitantly returned it with a sad smile of his own, leaning his face into the warm hand. Remus felt his mouth part and let out a soft sigh as Sirius turned his head, his lips brushing Remus' fingers. Sirius' eyes, now vivid with color, connected with his knowingly.
Remus thought Sirius would be too stressed now for such … activities. What he really needed was a relaxing hour or two, not a tumble in the sheets. That could, and most definitely would, thought Remus, come later.
Remus cleared his throat. "I think you should take a bath, Padfoot."
Sirius grinned into the hand before pulling away, sniffing at the air. "I'm insulted, Moony. I do not smell." Sirius cried in mock indignation.
Remus chuckled, ruffling his companion's hair as he stood, pulling Sirius up as well. They didn't talk as they made their way to the bedroom. There didn't seem a need for noise or conversation; just the presence of one another was enough.
When they reached their room, Remus walked into the bathing area and drew out his wand. Before him sat a huge gothic styled bathing tub with rusted copper griffin pedestal feet. After muttering a simple spell, the deep basin was filled with slightly steaming water. He was about to turn around to call Sirius in from the room when he felt a soft tugging at the back of his shirt.
"Bathe with me Moony …" he heard the familiar low purr whisper huskily from behind him, Sirius' lips pressing hotly against his ear lobe. Remus smiled, closing his eyes for a moment to focus on that sweet, searing breath and warm hand that had gently rested against his back.
He felt Sirius slide his hands up his chest, slowly unbuttoning the oxford shirt from behind. Remus leaned his head to the side, allowing Sirius better access to his neck, which Sirius happily accepted, dragging his lips along the sinewy muscles. Remus bit his tongue to stifle a moan as Sirius silkily slid the shirt off of his shoulders, feeling Sirius' bare chest press against his back and his broad hands travel along his body.
He walked out of the seductive embrace, turning around to face a completely nude Sirius. The ends of his lips twitched into a smile. "Well. I see your ready for your bath, as it is ready for you."
"I suppose I'll just take it then …" Sirius said throatily, emphasizing the secret meaning with his tone. He briskly walked past Remus and climbed into the tub. He glided slowly into the water before relaxing completely, resting his head against the rim as he stretched out. "Aren't you coming?" he asked, smiling innocently.
"Oh … I don't know …" Remus trailed off, forcing his eyes to gaze around him as he started to slowly unbutton his trousers. He could feel Sirius' eyes staring at him as he unfastened every button leisurely before he slid out of them entirely. He raised an eyebrow as his gaze returned to Sirius who was practically melting in the bathtub, his eyes dark with desire and staring directly into Remus' own.
Pitying his lover, Remus walked slowly toward the basin tub, climbing in to lie atop him. He felt all of Sirius' muscles relax as their bodies fit against each other's perfectly. Remus rested his head on Sirius' chest, counting the beats of his heart. He was lost in a small world of his own in those heartbeats. It was moments like these that made him study his love for Sirius, make him think that sometimes it seemed too much to stand, to help him understand fully that Sirius was the only meaning of his existence.
Sirius stroked Remus' slim back rhythmically, and Remus knew that he felt the same way.
That had been slightly apparent from his boggart. Remus held back a shiver. Sirius feared death. Complete death; death of the body, of the soul ... Not necessarily for himself, but for those he loved. Remus knew that Sirius would give everything he could to keep them all living, even though sometimes, he knew, that he felt like giving up himself.
Remus never wanted him to give up.
But there was one thing he could not stop thinking about. The eyes; so empty and dull. They all had died with their eyes open. Staring vacantly, accusing, sadly … staring.
Remus suddenly felt Sirius' slender legs part around his hips, touching Remus' bent elbows as Sirius raised his knees. Remus lifted his head, his eyes meeting gray ones, tinged with sorrow. Remus opened his mouth to question what was the matter, when Sirius cut him off.
"Remus … make it all go away …" Sirius whispered. He lifted his head to burry his nose against Remus' crown, breathing deeply into his hair. Remus smiled softly, kissing Sirius' jaw line.
"Yes, love … make it all go away …"
Three or so hours later, Remus walked absentmindedly into the huge kitchen. After their "bath," they had decided that they were a bit hungry. So, Remus decided to make something suitable for them both to eat like leftovers and beer, or at least something to that extent (they were men, after all). Not even letting the water out, they left the room towards the kitchen. Well … not before having a go on their grand poster bed an excessive amount of times.
Sirius now looked in the cabinets, rummaging around for something to his liking. Remus wandered over to the counter, watching Sirius' every movement. Stopping suddenly, Sirius turned to him, raising an eyebrow elegantly.
"See something you like, love?" Sirius asked contentedly, standing up straight in only a pair of worn jeans that he had had when he was eighteen. As much as he loved the jeans, Remus decided that they needed to lose them relatively quickly. Remus smiled seductively, walking slowly over to him. Leaning in snuggly, Remus tilted his head to nibble gently on Sirius' ear.
"Yes … very much. Though, I'm rather hungry for something else Padfoot." Remus growled, his hands resting on Sirius sides.
"That would make it … hmm ... six times tonight, Moony …" Sirius stated playfully.
"Indeed …" Remus said throatily as he pressed Sirius' body against the pantry door with his own.
They made love again, right there on the kitchen wall and floor like a pair of teenagers that had freshly emerged from puberty. Yet, they wouldn't have it any other way.
Thirty minutes later, Remus straddled Sirius' bare torso, regaining his breath as he looked down on his lover through a fringe of sweaty bangs. Sirius lay on the floor; moist hair splayed across freshly cleaned (well … not entirely clean any more) wooden surface. His cheeks were flushed, his chest rising and falling as he panted from their actions. Lusty dark eyes bore into Remus' own. Remus wanted to laugh at his next thought: he most definitely felt like a teenager again.
Like the time they had snuck out of the dormitories where they had then preformed unspeakable acts in the restricted section of the library. Sirius had teased him long after, claiming that that was probably the biggest turn on for Remus. "I bet you can barely stand it, Moony love. Sex and books all in the same room." Well, he got his when Remus just, by coincidence of course, didn't feel like such rigorous activities for the proceeding night.
Remus smiled reminiscently. Sirius lifted his hand to stroke Remus' cheek lovingly. Remus leaned into this touch.
"Love you Moony …" Sirius whispered hoarsely.
"Love you, too." Remus whispered, turning his head to kiss the palm tenderly.
"Aww isn't that sweet, two naked men professing their love for one another. Like I've never seen that before."
"Shuddup Tonks. You'll never get any better than Remus here."
Remus smiled through his embarrassment, dismounting Sirius' waist to retrieve some clean clothes for him and Sirius both.
"Tonks! God, there you go! Ruining a perfect moment between me and Remus again." Sirius whined indignantly, lifting up on his arms to stand.
"Well, sorry that you do it all the time like rabbits over the entire vicinity of this bloody house," the, now, tall woman with spiky bright purple hair exclaimed walking over to sit on the counter top. "It kind of makes it hard for one to know where you two are going to be. Trust me, if I had a choice to see you guys buggering each other, I'd rather not thanks very much!"
"What d'you keep rattling on about? I can very well bugger my lover any-the-hell-where I want to in, may I remind you, my rutty house." Sirius said rather haughtily.
"Ouch …" Tonks said in mock hurt, smiling at her favorite cousin. They both had enjoyed this bantering since she could learn to talk.
"Touché, my dear Padfoot." Remus said after hearing the end of their conversation, handing Sirius a pair of pants and a worn looking shirt. "Thanks Moony." Sirius said, kissing Remus on the cheek before grabbing his clothes.
It had taken Remus a while to get used to this public affection, however small it may be, and even more getting caught in the middle of … certain acts of love numerous times. The victims of this mostly consisted of Tonks and Molly, though they had also been caught by Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape (which Sirius said it was good for him to see them; that it was probably the nearest to getting any), and even Ginny once. Remus felt his face grow hot at the memory of his former young student's face when she had walked into Sirius' room, unbeknownst that it was, indeed, both their bedchamber. It also hadn't helped Remus cope when the girl had laughed.
"So …" Tonks murmured slightly, averting her gaze as Sirius finished dressing and pulled Remus closer to him, "What'cha guys been doing?" All Remus could do was laugh.
Sirius rolled his eyes and took Remus' hand, leading him out into the parlor. Remus shrugged at Tonks when she made an odd face before they were out of the room completely.
"You know, Padfoot, that was rude of you to cut off Tonks' visit so hastily. Was there any need to-"
Sirius took Remus by the shoulder and faced them equally. He kissed him with all the strength that he could possibly manage, his tongue delving into Remus' mouth, swirling them. Remus felt his knees weaken by the sheer force of it and he leaned into Sirius' body.
Sirius pulled away, taking one huge gulp of air. He reached up, cradling Remus' tawny head in hands. Their foreheads rested against each other's, noses nuzzling softly.
"I do love you. I know I don't get to tell you enough, but I do," his voice was urgent, and raw, "God, Remus, with every fiber of me. I feel pain when you leave, such pain … I only feel happy when you're next to me, near enough for me to touch you. It wasn't able to for a long time, and I took it for granted. I-"
The two of them were startled when they heard the sound of voices in the kitchen. After a few moments of blurred voices, Tonks came running out to them, face flushed with exigency, hair now long and black.
"Harry's in trouble, it's Voldemort, " she cried, gasping as she reached for the door, "He at the Department of Mysteries. Both of you get your cloaks. Dumbledore needs all of us. We've all got to go, now!"
The two men sprang apart and raced to the closet. Hastily pulling on robes, they rushed to the door, but Remus stopped them.
"What is it, Moony? We've gotta-"
Remus ran his hand through Sirius hair and pulled him into a kiss. Despite the vital issues that lay ahead, Sirius leaned into it and their tongues pressed in sweet solace. After just a moment, fighting the tears that bit at the back of his eyes, Remus pulled away.
"I love you, so much Sirius …" His voice cracked with emotion, but he stood his ground
Sirius grinned, placing one last kiss on the corner of his mouth and then one to his center. "Think of it, Moony. After this, I'll be free. Voldemort will be gone and Harry will live with us. We'll be a family."
And with that, they ran out the door.
A few hours later, Remus stood in the same door. His leg twitched with the trepidation of walking through the wooden archway into the house that Sirius hated so much. His knees trembled with fatigue as he finally stepped out into the hall, nearly too weak to stand. Just barely, he made his way up the steps and down the hall.
The chipped paint looked darker, even though the sun was already up and shining through the windows. He winced away from the beams of light, shuffling into the room that Sirius and he shared for the past year.
It was in the exact order that they had left it, too. The sheets were still rumpled from their play, the clothes from a week ago still liter the floor. His toe touched one of Sirius crumbled up tee shirts and everything went dull. The room reeked of Sirius. And it was becoming too much for him to bear.
Stumbling blindly into the washroom he saw the tub in the corner, cool water shimmering in the pale light of the sun. Stepping up to it, Remus remembered the look in Sirius' eyes after the incident with the boggart the night before and his walls deteriorated. He sank into the water, forgetting the importance to take off his clothes.
Once his body was totally immersed, everything hit him all in one instance. And he couldn't stop the tears from falling.
Sinking lower beneath the surface, he felt the tears from his cheeks roll slowly into the cold water, shivering as he lifted his hand to his face.
He sat there in the water where he and Sirius had promised each other their love, condoled the other with words of comfort. He could still feel the slide of his body beneath him, the quivering warmth all around him. God, the way his kisses made everything just disappear and he was undone.
But as he closed his eyes and remembered the friction, the slow glide of his body against his own, he felt the heat of his gaze. The passion that unfurled just below the irises and the love that strung them together. How much that man was able to love, Remus would always admire him for. Beneath the cool dexterity of his character, the wall that built its own self around the man lay the gaping hole of his love for Remus … and Harry.
Then Remus knew what he must do. Harry was the future for them all. And Remus was the last to protect him. It was, after all, what Sirius would have wanted. Remus had now found his sole driving purpose. But for the moment he sat in the place only hours before he had lain with his lover, basking in the liquor of Sirius' final hours.