Author's Note: Gah, as soon as I wrote the note saying this wouldn't come for awhile, I instantly wanted to plan it. I was so excited about writing a new story. No fair. You all were supposed to wait. Ah, well. Happy Christmahanakwanzika.
Dedications: Because so many people deserve them!
Daniel Handler: For his wonderful books. They, despite their titles, bring me so much joy.
Wendy: For helping me with my flow chart. And for reading this.
Billy Grimes: For being himself. I love you!
Chapter 1: Disastrous Dining
(August 30. 7: 12 p.m. A veritable French diner. London.)
If you have ever been worried about something--a test, or whether you will ever be able to dig yourself out of the gigantic hole you've fallen into--you should know that anxiety is one of the worst feelings in the world. Your heart pounds, your arms shake, your palms sweat--which can make meet and greet very uncomfortable--and you contract an overall feeling of woe.
Exactly how Lily Evans felt as she sat beside her boyfriend, James Potter, on a padded bench outside of a nice French restaurant in the heart of London.
Any other time, visiting such a restaurant in such a city--in such an outfit--would be a very pleasant experience, especially because of her chosen company. But for Lily, tonight was not a night for social endeavors.
Her hand slipped to her lower abdomen which had swollen slightly, as if she'd stuck a shallow bowl under her dress, and rubbed it consolingly. James's warm hand crept into hers and they locked eyes. She gave him a shy smile.
He cleared his throat. "You nervous?"
"Just a little," she replied. "I wonder what everyone's going to say. We've hid everything from them. Our friendship, our relationship...and now this."
His gaze drifted toward the sidewalk. "I know," he said heavily. "How do you think I feel? My dad's going to wring my neck when we tell him."
"Mum's gonna shoot through the roof," said Lily with a sharp upward gesture. "'I warned you, Lily!' she'll say, 'But you've gone and made the same mistake I did!'"
"No you haven't." The corners of James's mouth twitched in amusement. "You're not having Petunia."
Lily's laugh was forced and rattled. Through the amalgam of the crowd, two figures emerged, eyes scanning the queue of people assembled outside of the diner. When they spotted Lily and James, they hurried over, smiling.
"Hey, James," greeted Sirius, clapping him on the back. "Where're your parents?"
"Not here yet," answered Lily for him.
"Will you tell us why we're here now?" asked Remus, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Is it your birthday, Lily? Your mum's? Sister's?"
"No," said Lily, "it's not anybody's birthday."
"So what's going on?" Sirius hefted an eyebrow. "You're not pregnant, are you Lily?" He chortled; it was meant to be a joke. Sirius and Remus were not even supposed to know that they were dating, let alone that they had slept together. Lily tried to calm her expression.
James nudged her. "Here come your parents."
She had a sudden impulse to dive behind James so they couldn't spot them. But instead she rose gracefully from her seat and hugged her parents in welcome.
Mr. Evans kissed his daughter's forehead. "Where are the Potters? Are they waiting inside?"
"No," said James, taking his place beside Lily, "they're on their way."
The four teenagers kept relatively quiet until the arrival of James's parents. The only time they spoke was when Sirius commented rather loudly on a young girl's attire, and when Lily muttered, after kicking him swiftly in the shin, "Try saying that a bit louder next time, you ass!"
But as they must, Doug and Ella Potter arrived, only five minutes late, to which Doug blamed rather bluntly on those "damn narrow Muggle streets."
James lead everyone inside the restaurant to claim the table they'd made reservations for. Lily's mother placed a hand on her arm to hold her back.
"What's going on?" she hissed, eyes darting around the room. "Why are we at such a nice restaurant? Still celebrating yours and James's Head Boy and Girl selections?"
"It was James's idea to come here," she explained. "His family comes here a lot. They like it. And as for what's going on, you'll find out over dinner like everyone else."
She hurried to catch up with James, leaving her mother at the back of the group with a pursed lip. Mr. Evans linked arms with her and they trailed the others to the long mahogany table. It was draped in a white silken cloth garnished with a silver candelabra at each end and a vase of lilies in the center.
In the front of the restaurant, in plain view of the passersby through the large glass window, was a string quartet playing a melodious tune that complimented the chatter and laughter of the atmosphere.
It was easily the nicest restaurant Lily had ever been to. Shame to spoil her first trip with tonight's news, she thought, smoothing her dress in the back as she slid into her chair.
Their table sat ten, but only nine of the seats would be filled; Petunia was yet to arrive, late to anything her sister asked her to attend, as usual. Sirius and Remus sat at either head of the table with Lily, James, and the Potters on one side, and the Evanses and two empty seats on the other.
Again an uncomfortable silence hung in the air as they waited for the waiter to finish with everyone's drink orders. Mr. Potter looked as if he were about to break the ice before Petunia came trudging in and plopped herself into a seat beside her mother.
"This better be quick, Lily," she snapped. "I'm meeting some friends later tonight."
"Can't they wait?" implored Mrs. Evans. "Your sister has important news for us."
Petunia latched her arms. "I'm listening."
"Well, I...." Lily felt her cheeks flush. "I wasn't ready....Not yet...."
"I'm not sitting through the whole dinner," said Petunia matter-of-factly, eyeing the wizards around her with distaste, "so you'd better get on with it."
Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchanged arched eyebrows across the table.
Lily twisted the napkin from her set-up nervously. She glanced sideways at James, eyes begging for assistance. "Go ahead, Lily," he said, voice soothing. "We don't have to wait any longer."
Under the table, she grasped his hand. They smiled at each other. Petunia slouched in her chair, staring at them strangely.
"Well, mum"--Lily chose to address her mother, it was easier to direct her speech at her than a whole group of hungry eyes--"you know how James and I have spent a lot of time together because of Prefect duties and meetings, right?"
"And how," muttered Sirius to Remus. Lily kicked his shin again.
"Yes...." said her mother.
"Last February we sort of....We...." She struggled to find words that would not render her mother comatose. "...Gave each other late Christmas presents." Their table guests stared blankly at them.
"What Lily means," James intervened, forehead beginning to perspire, "is that we've been seeing each other for few months now. In secret."
Petunia's eyes rolled heavenward. "I came all the way to London to find out what I could have read in your diary?"
Mrs. Evans gave her a stern look, but fixed a happy gaze on her younger daughter. "That's good news, Lily," she said brightly. The others murmured in agreement.
"We're not finished," she said, feeling coldness sweep through her chest. Her father, who had been in the process of reaching for his glass of brandy, froze and looked over his glasses at the two of them. She wanted to sink into the floor.
"Not finished?" her mother echoed. "What else could there be to share?" Far behind her inquisitive stare, Lily could see that her mother, too, was scared.
"Yes," agreed her father, sounding equally uneasy. "What else?"
Tough crowd, she thought sardonically. James gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"W-well," began Lily, feeling lightheaded, "by 'late Christmas present' I meant something else." She hadn't meant to stop there, but the quaver in her voice was too noticeable and she needed time to move her other hand into her lap, where its shaking could not be seen.
Mr. Evans raised his eyebrows. "What did you mean?" It was obvious that he was trying to remain calm as well.
"A-as you m-may know," said Lily, nearly wincing at her mother's expression, "not all gifts are f-found in stores...."
Petunia looked quite interested now. She sat up straight, ears open, eyebrows arched in amusement, attention focused on Lily, as if she were a very entertaining television program. Sirius and Remus also looked less miffed at being summoned to dinner; they seemed to know what was coming and sympathized with their friends. Mr. Potter closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, seemingly pondering over some problem. His wife sat still in her chair, looking not at Lily, but past her to the large glass window, still trying to take it all in. And the same horrified expression remained plastered to Mrs. Evans's face.
But the only one who voiced their thoughts was Lily's father. He rose from his seat. "So you gave him a bit of yourself, did you, Lily?" His voice raised slightly above the average table, causing several guests nearby to stop and stare. The waiter set their tray of drinks down on a nearby table, figuring now was not the best time. Lily's cheeks glowed red as ever, and her lower lip trembled involuntarily. "Is that why you brought us here? To tell us the story of how you lost your virginity? How you contracted some deadly disease?"
"I beg your pardon!" cried Mrs. Potter indignantly.
"Cynric," pleaded Mrs. Evans, placing a hand on his arm. "Please sit down. You're making a scene...."
He ignored his wife. "Well, go on!" he demanded, voice raised. "Why did you ask us to come here? Are you pregnant?"
The whole restaurant had gone silent from the quartet to the whiniest of children. They all awaited Lily's answer. Lily bowed her head and a few whispy strands of hair fell from her bun. A large tear slipped from her eye. James draped an arm around her and pulled her to his side.
"You are, aren't you?" He didn't need an answer; her guilty tears were enough. He set his hands on the table, leaning forward, and said in softer tones, "Tell me, how does it feel to have your future ruined? You had just gotten everything together, Lily. You have wonderful marks, you're a Prefect, and now the Head Girl. Why? Why did you go and do this?"
"Do you think we planned this?" James asked defensively, rubbing circles on her back.
"How long have you been hiding this?" he said.
"F-February," Lily sobbed.
"February?" said her mother, surprised, as if she hadn't heard the beginning of the conversation. "Why, you must be"--she paused for mental calculation--"six months along." Lily nodded; her mother stood up and craned her neck to peer at Lily's belly. "You don't look it at all. Honey, are you sick?"
Because voices had been lowered, most of the guests had gone back to their meals and conversations by now. Mrs. Potter addressed Lily's mother. "Some girls develop bellies slower than others, Daphne. There's nothing wrong with her."
Mrs. Evans nodded and returned to her seat. Everyone stayed quiet as Mr. Evans--forehead resting in his palm--worked out what he was going to do. Before they could register what had happened, he turned on his heel and marched right out of the restaurant. Mrs. Evans lingered for a few moments uncertainly before bidding her younger daughter goodbye and going after him.
"I'm out of here," announced Petunia, gathering her coat and departing, too.
Sirius stood up, followed shortly after by Remus. "Good luck, you two," he said, leaning to kiss Lily's cheek.
James nodded gratefully at him and Lily forced a smile. Remus mumbled good luck and good bye and then they were gone as well.
They looked over at James's parents to see if they were going to abandon them too. To their surprise, Mrs. Potter stood up and placed a hand on Lily's shoulder.
"You're coming home with us tonight, sweetheart."
So after being moved to a smaller table and ingesting a light meal--Lily didn't feel well enough to keep much down, and they felt rude gorging themselves in front of her--the Potters brought Lily home with them, as promised.
She was allowed to share James's bed because, as James's mother had so colorfully put it to her husband, "She's already knocked up, what more could they do?" She also argued that, "The poor scared girl could use some comforting."
Just as she was settling down to go to sleep, Mrs. Potter pulled her aside to ask for a chat. At first she was worried that she was going to be told off, but after she assured her that she was not angry with her, Lily felt much more at ease and agreed instantly.
Lily lingered in James's room to say good night before going downstairs. He drew her to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her and kissed her forehead.
"Don't be nervous. Mum's not mad."
"I feel like a slut," she blurted, sniffling against the fabric of his shirt. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes.
"You are not," he said, brushing a lock of hair from her cheek. "You're a beautiful, intelligent mother-to-be." He kissed her and bent down to kiss her growing belly. "And I love you."
She gave him the first genuine smile she'd shown that night. "I love you too."
He hugged her one last time. On her way out, he swatted her butt. "Good luck." He grinned.
She stuck her tongue out at him.
The cold tiles in the hallway sent shivers through her as she scuttled through the house. She was very grateful to reach the carpeted living room, and even more grateful for Mrs. Potter's offer of tea. His mother turned on the kettle and rummaged through the pantry for the tea bags and Lily slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar.
"Have you been eating well lately?" asked Mrs. Potter, glancing over her shoulder. "No junk food? No alcohol?"
"I don't drink." Lily felt somewhat offended.
"Good," she replied. "And the snacks?"
"I've been eating a lot better lately," Lily assured her. "I've also done some exercising."
"Not too strenuous, I hope?" she said, concerned, walking back to the stove with the box of Lipton.
"No." The older woman nodded.
The hiss and bubbling of the kettle were the only noises in the kitchen until the water boiled. Taking two identical mugs from the cabinet, Mrs. Potter poured them a cup each and they moved into the living room. Lily seated herself on the gray, overstuffed couch, tucking her legs beneath her, and Mrs. Potter snuggled herself into an armchair across from her.
She took a long draft of her tea and placed the mug on the coffee table. She drew back and surveyed the young girl sipping timidly at her drink.
"Don't be too angry with your father," she said finally. Lily looked over at her. "He's just as scared as you are. And worried for you."
Lily looked uninterested. She swirled the tea bag by its string. "Yeah. Nothing says 'I care about you' like a scene in a French restaurant."
"It was quite a shock...."
"He didn't have to act like that," said Lily roughly. Another minute's pause. "Do you hate me?"
"Hate you?" she parroted. "Why on earth would I hate you?"
Lily's hand moved to her stomach. "Because of the baby." She looked back at her with watery eyes.
Mrs. Potter walked around the table and sat beside her, enveloping her in a hug. She rubbed her back. "I don't hate you at all," she whispered. Letting go of her, she added, "I always wanted for James and you to date. You're such a nice girl." Lily smiled. "He would come home every summer and talk about how he asked you to Hogsmeade, how he made you smile during breakfast, how he showed you his artwork...."
"It was very good," Lily said.
"And do you know what he did last Christmas break?" Lily shook her head. "He told me that you finally accepted his offer to go to Hogsmeade--perhaps the start of a relationship, but he said no more about it, so I figured it'd went badly--and he cried. He was so happy."
Lily smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. "He did?"
Mrs. Potter nodded. "He loves you very much."
She smiled wider and tears fell from her eyes. "I know he does. He tells me every day. He's such a proud father, too."
"Just like his dad was."
"Were you scared when you were pregnant with James?" Lily asked earnestly. "I'm worried that something's going to go wrong."
"You just have first-time jitters," said Mrs. Potter, shrugging it off. "I had the same worry. Believe me, love, more often than not, you're worrying about nothing."
Lily wrung her hands nervously. "I sure hope so."
With a glance to the clock above the mantelpiece, Mrs. Potter said, "It's getting late. You best get up to bed. You'll need all the rest you can get before you have your baby and you're up all night."
"Oh, joy," she remarked from the bottom stair. "Good night, Mrs. Potter."
"Good night, dear."
Anxious to get off of the freezing tiles, Lily took the stairs two at a time.
O O O
Okay, I believe I've found a way to situate my chapters; three periods for a new scene, and three capital Os for the ending!
Take that, document manager! May you erase my colons no longer!
Since you've taken the time to read this, please review!
Megan