A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! In this Chapter, you will finally see the title of the story coming into play! Woo hoo! Aren't you all excited? Hrm…or maybe not…
Citcat299: If you mean MLC as in that private girl's high school, then no, I don't go there. I live in Melbourne, (Australia P) and I go to a school called OLSH (Our Lady Of The Sacred Heart).
Lauren: potions classroom scene coming up right now! Sorry about the cliffhanger, but to be truthful, I ran out of ideas as to what would happen in the Potions class and left it there!
Jam: Thanks so much for your review! Keep reading and reviewing!
Silent Serpent: Thanks for another of your reviews! And, yes, I know you hate cliffs, but inspiration left me and I had to end the chapter there and post it!
Xoxofairygurlxoxo: I hope this chapter is just as good for you to read!
Dracolover: Thanks for the positive response and the compliments!
Mimi: Aha! Yay! I have converted another person to like DM-HG shippers! Insert evil cackle here Glad to see you enjoy reading my fic, and thanks for the link. Oh, and don't worry, I don't ever plan on giving up on this story! I have great plans for this story! )
Zuvalupa: Thanks again for another positive review! And, yes, I know, I'm an evil writer for leaving you guys with another cliffy, but it was out of necessity! You see, I had a fight with my inspiration – it wanted me to write about Harry getting his head stuck in a cauldron - so when I refused, it ran away from me and I couldn't write any more of my story! Ahem…well…that's the imaginative view of what happened, anyway!
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own a thing except the plot.
Hogwarts At The ZooChapter Five: I Think He's Finally Cracked It.
Hermione and Harry hurriedly sat down at their usual desk just as Snape swept imperiously into the classroom.
He smirked at the two Gryffindors. "Ah, I see, as usual, the Gryffindors are struggling to attend my class on time. Twenty points from Gryffindor for almost being late. Each." The Slytherins sniggered as an anxious Hermione pulled Harry, eyes blazing, back into his seat.
"Harry!" She hissed. "He's just trying to bait you! Stop it." He stopped struggling and settled into his seat with one last baleful glare at Snape.
Snape smirked at them, eyes glittering before turning to stand behind his desk. He pulled out a piece of paper, and suddenly smiled. The class, Slytherins and the two Gryffindors alike, gulped and looked around nervously. Snape never smiled. He wasn't happy even when he'd had a few Fire Whiskies, let alone be happy for no reason at all in the first class of the year.
"When I call your name, stand up and sit next to the following person I call out on the list. They will be your partners for the year. The Ministry has deemed it necessary for students at similar competence levels in classes to be partnered to provide a matching working partner and enable students to receive better marks. There will be no complaining as to who your partner is. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir." The class mumbled.
"Excellent. Zabini and Bulstrode. Potter and Parkinson." Harry groaned and moved over beside Pansy, shooting her a glare. Pansy happily returned it, then turned to Snape and opened her mouth.
"No complaints, Parkinson." Snape growled.
"But, Professor, I wanted to be with my precious Drakie-Pooh – "
To Hermione's amusement, Malfoy blanched and shot Pansy a nasty glare, while Snape lost his temper and roared at Pansy, a tic going off widely in his temple. "Quiet! I have chosen partners that match each of you by your standards of potion making. Whinge one more time, Parkinson, and I will gladly give you a week's worth of detention. Now," he glared maliciously at the class, "let's continue. Granger and –" he paused, glanced at his list, then smirked. "And Malfoy."
"What?" Hermione jerked upright, staring incredulously at Snape. Malfoy looked equally shocked, then snapped out of it and sent Hermione a suggestive look as he patted the seat next to him. Hermione sent him a nasty glare, caught sight of Snape's scowling face and hurriedly leapt into the seat beside Hogwart's bouncing ferret.
She groaned and slumped down in her seat, burying her head in her arms. The blonde boy looked highly amused as he poked the brown haired girl who emitted a loader groan and smacked his hand away.
"Bugger off, Malfoy! Nobody likes a ferret with bleached hair." Hermione growled.
"If you would so kind as to pay attention whilst I assign you and your partner your new project, Miss Granger, I may be so kind in return as to only take, say, a mere fifty points from Gryffindor."
Hermione frantically shot up straight in her seat, her eyes landing on a laughing Malfoy and a highly irritated Potions Professor.
"Sorry, sir." She managed to squeak out.
Snape ignored her apology. "Forty points from Gryffindor for slacking off in my class, Miss Granger. Now, I have paired you two together as you are the best Advanced Potions students I have ever taught." He shot a nasty glare at Hermione. "That will be the only compliment I will ever give to a Gryffindor, Miss Granger, so make the most of it." He continued after another sour look at the brunette. "I have assembled a list of highly advanced potions for you to look through. Your task is to successfully brew two of these potions, and submit a report written by both of you for each potion. I trust, Miss Granger, that you are now mature enough to work in a sensible manner with Mr. Malfoy and avoid any unseemly…arguments."
Hermione reined in her temper with difficulty, and stiffly replied, "Yes, Professor."
"Good." Snape handed Malfoy the list, and swooped off to deal with a hysterical Pansy. Harry, sitting glumly beside the wailing pug-faced girl, was gazing forlornly towards the door.
Hermione turned to Malfoy and pointedly looked at the parchment in his hand.
Malfoy scowled at her, and thrust the list towards her. "You read it then, Mudblood." He muttered resentfully, crossing his arms and slouching back disdainfully in his chair.
Hermione sighed and gazed at the list. "All right, let's see…Wolfsbane Potion…now that will be fairly difficult to make…Hellsbora Solution…well, that's certainly much less complex…what else…ah – oh – erm, well, maybe not that one…"
"What is it?" Malfoy was sitting upright now, his silver eyes boring into her pink-tinged face.
"Oh…the Polyjuice Potion, but I don't think we'll make that one…oh, see, here's a better potion, the – "
Malfoy cut her off abruptly, looking at her suspiciously. "Why not?"
"Er – what, Malfoy?" Hermione mumbled, glancing up at him in feigned confusion, her heart hammering.
Malfoy's eyes swept over her relaxed figure – perhaps he had been wrong. He scrutinized her more carefully, and realized that she was overly relaxed and there was a flash of nervousness in her eyes for a second. His eyes narrowed. "I said, why can't we make the Polyjuice Potion?"
"Um, well, you see…" 'Because Snape would realize I'd had experience in making this potion before, that's why.' Hermione glanced nervously around the classroom, stalling for time. 'Think, Hermione, think! He isn't going to buy this act for long.' She sat up straighter and plastered a bland look on her face. Malfoy, eyes still narrowed, instantly saw through the façade. She managed to babble out a pitiful excuse underneath his stern gaze. "Erm, well, because, Ferret-Boy, I don't think we should make such a complex potion when we both know that we'll be too busy arguing to pay the proper amount of attention to the potion, and…" Hermione's voice trailed off as she looked upon Malfoy's face with dawning horror. She could almost literally see the clogs and wheels turning in his mind.
Suddenly, his eyes gleamed. "Snape told me, back in second year, that someone had stolen Boomslang Skin from his private Potion ingredients cupboard…Boomslang skin isn't available to students, and it's the prime ingredient in the Polyjuice Potion, isn't it, Hermione?" He smirked at her.
Hermione's face paled, and she looked horrified. Snape would murder her when he found out. "Oh, Malfoy, for goodness' sake, don't tell Snape!"
He laughed maliciously. "You don't want him to guess that you've already made it before, do you? He'll notice how easily you brew the potion…as though it was…familiar to you." He turned towards Snape, opening his mouth after smiling smugly at her.
She clapped a hand over his mouth. "Malfoy – "
He slapped her hand away furiously, and opened his mouth once more.
"Mal-foy!" Hermione hissed. "Shut. Up. I'll do anything, I swear, just don't tell Snape, he'll kill me!"
Malfoy raised an eyebrow as he swung round to face her. "Anything, my little Mudblood?"
Hermione groaned and thumped her head on the desk "Idiot!" She berated herself.
Malfoy laughed. "I'll be nice, Mudblood. I won't tell Snape, but in return, seeing as you're so willing to do 'anything', I want you to do whatever I say for the rest of the week. Deal, Granger?" He held out his hand.
Hermione sighed. "Do I even have a choice?"
"No, not really."
"Figures."
She reluctantly stretched out her hand to Malfoy.
……x.::.X.::.x……x.::.X.::.x……x.::.X.::.x……
Hermione rushed into the Great Hall for lunch, her brown curls flying madly as she careened past a frightened Hufflepuff first year and landed with a sigh between Harry and Ron at the Gryffindor table.
Grabbing a plate, she proceeded to pile scrambled egg on hot toast, showered it with salt and bacon, and dug in happily with her knife and fork. Harry and Ron stared in awe, open-mouthed, as she wolfed down her lunch in two minutes flat.
"Er…" said a bemused Harry.
"Er…" Ron agreed, his jaw hanging down still.
The boys exchanged confused looks as Hermione finished eating, took a long swig of pumpkin juice, then abruptly began to beat her head upon the table, muttering to herself.
"Idiot…idiot…idiot…idiot…blithering, idiotic little fool…" Hermione mumbled, barely coherent.
"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed, alarmed, as she grabbed a plate and made to beat herself over the head with it. He reached over and tugged the heavy gold plate out of her hands.
"That's enough." Harry said firmly. "I think you've managed to use your head to destroy everything in the vicinity. Somehow, I think Dumbledore would like to keep his plates intact."
"Blimey, Hermione," Ron said, glancing around at the destruction she had caused, "What's gotten into you today? You can't still be PMSing! Can she?" he added uncertainly to Harry.
Harry paused his lecture to Hermione on the dangers of plates versus human heads and stared at Ron. "How would I know?! What d'you think I am, a girl?"
Neville raced up and sat across from the Golden Trio. "Guess what, guys, Grandma sent me the new edition of…" he trailed off as he saw the bent table, Hermione moaning and trying to hit her head on the table again, and Ron and Harry having a heated debate about PMS. He turned wide, horrified eyes to Seamus and Dean. Dean was howling with laughter and nearly falling off his chair, whilst Seamus sat calmly buttering a bread roll and singing to himself.
"What's – what's the matterwith them, Seamus?" Neville whispered, edging away nervously from the Golden Trio as Harry began a battle with Hermione over control of the plate.
Ron took no notice of Harry and Hermione's epic plate war and was still busy arguing loudly. "Honestly, Harry, Hermione can't still be under the effects of PMS – she's obviously cracked it under the extra work load – "
Neville turned back towards Seamus, looking extremely pale. "What's wrong with them?" he wailed in despair.
Seamus turned to him, raising an eyebrow. "You mean Harry, Hermione and Ron?"
Neville nodded frantically. Finally, someone at the Gryffindor table with a thread of sanity in them!
"Well," Seamus said thoughtfully, "I've always suspected that Ron was a bit off his rocker, and it's no wonder Hermione's gone all funny, what with hanging around Ron and homework so much…and poor Harry's just caught in the crossfire between Hermione and the plate, you see?" he finished off earnestly.
Neville looked utterly bewildered. Seamus helpfully pointed behind Neville, and the boy, turning in his seat, was greeted with the site of Harry and Hermione on the floor wrestling over a golden plate.
"We're all going to go mad, you know," Seamus added cheerfully. "Enjoy it while it lasts, because with them around, we'll soon all be like that."
Neville gave Seamus one last terrified glance before leaping up and bolting out of the Great Hall, howling all the way. Dean's chair fell backwards, and he clutched his stomach as he rolled on the floor laughing hysterically.
From the Slytherin table, a pair of slate grey eyes, tinted with blue, watched the debacle unfolding on the Gryffindor table with mirth. His mouth curved into an amused smile as he watched the battle between Harry and Hermione and Neville's abrupt flight from the hall. His gaze landed once more on Hermione as he observed her viciously fighting Harry for the plate whilst on the floor. He only pulled his eyes away when Pansy's irritating voice finally penetrated through the fog in his mind. With a sigh, he turned back to his conversation with Blaise Zabini and Pansy.
Harry climbed back onto his seat after finally winning the plate war with Hermione, and dragged her up onto the seat beside him.
"Right," Harry began, glaring resentfully at both Ron and Hermione. "Ron, next time, instead of continuing an utterly pointless debate with yourself, help me, would you? And Hermione – what on earth is wrong with you? At this stage, I'm tempted to steal the straightjacket that I'm sure the Dursleys have stored for me in their cupboard, and use it on you."
Hermione suddenly burst into tears. "Oh, Harry, it's horrible! It's Malfoy…he found out in Potions that we made the Polyjuice Potion back in our second year." Hermione continued on, outlining the whole morning of double potions to Ron and Harry. By the end, Ron was glowering and sending Malfoy death glares more deadly than ever before, and Harry looked stunned, then angry.
"So, basically, he's blackmailing you to be his – his – servant – for the week?" Harry asked her. He turned to look at Ron and noticed that he was making strangling motions with his hands. "You know," Harry added thoughtfully, "I do believe Ron actually has the right idea this time."
Hermione laughed as she slumped down in her seat. "Don't be ridiculous, Harry, violence is not the answer – you should know that by now." She shifted guiltily in her seat and glanced over to Malfoy, remembering her most recent fight with Malfoy and how she had slapped him – again. She sighed. "Look, guys, I know you're angry, but there isn't much you can do, and it's a wizard's deal, so I have to go through with it now. Besides," she added with a falsely bright smile, "it's Malfoy – what can he possibly do that will be terrible enough to send me screaming and running? You two know I'll hex him to hell and back – or maybe not back, come to think of it – before he even begins to start any funny business with me." She winked at them. "You should be more worried about Malfoy sustaining any permanent harm rather than me."
Harry and Ron still looked concerned, and Ron was still shooting Malfoy poisonous glares, but they shrugged and settled back into their seats as Dumbledore stood up and called for the students' attention.
Dumbledore beamed around at his students. "I have an announcement to make that I am quite sure will please the sixth and seventh years." He smiled apologetically as groans arose from the younger students who were excluded. "This year, the Minister of Magic has requested that Hogwarts students should all be given the chance to associate with Muggles in their entirely non-magical environment, and that you should be able to be given the chance to study their wildlife as well. The teachers and I have come to the conclusion, and the Minister has approved, that from now on, the sixth and seventh years will be taken to a Muggle Zoo for a day every year to experience a non-magical environment, to converse with Muggles on their own ground, and to learn about their animals, many of which, you will find, are similar to our own magical creatures. I am pleased to say that the trip will take place at the end of this week, on Friday. That is all. Good afternoon, students."
Malfoy looked sour as he turned to face his best friend, Blaise Zabini. He had firmly told Goyle and Crabbe to never come near him again after finding them in the dorm at the end of sixth year making out on Goyle's bed. Malfoy was, needless to say, deeply horrified by the sight, and was sure there would be permanent scarring. He had, naturally, told his bodyguards to stay far away from him – besides, he was older now and perfectly capable of defending himself from the Weasel's temper tantrums. He had always come to Blaise when he wanted to have a sensible, intelligent conversation – as far as he knew, he and Blaise were the only perfectly literate students in the whole of the Slytherin House – and over the past year, they had grown to become best friends.
"Brilliant." He said glumly. "Now the old bat's making us converse with the silly Muggles he loves so much for a whole day. At a zoo. Bloody brilliant." He added again, slouching down in his seat even further as he shot Dumbledore a nasty glare. He could've sworn Dumbledore turned to face him and winked merrily, but perhaps he was just going slightly mad, like the rest of his seventh year peers seemed to be.
Blaise gazed thoughtfully up at Dumbledore for a moment. "I do believe Dumbledore has finally cracked it. I mean, look at this lot," here he gestured down the table, "none of them are going to be too happy about this arrangement – not at all. We're probably going to be the only Slytherins not writing to dear Mummy and Daddy immediately to complain about it – after all, we know Muggles aren't all that bad, really."
"Don't be so sure about me, my friend." Malfoy said dryly. "I just might write home to 'Mummy dearest' and tell her to take me away from this madhouse of a school."
Blaise turned to grin at him. "But, Malfoy, isn't it fun to see everyone going mad around you? Why, have a look at the earlier plate war between Hermione Granger and the Potter kid. Rather entertaining, really."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a very, very, strange boy, Zabini?"
"Many, come to think of it."
"I wonder why." Malfoy rolled his eyes, his mouth twitching upwards slightly.
"Brilliant!" Ron exclaimed as he viewed his timetable. "We're going to miss Double Potions, Divination and Herbology."
Harry grinned. "Cool."
Hermione looked ecstatic. "Oh, good! Hopefully those silly Slytherins will finally see that Muggles aren't the savages they think they are, and maybe they might learn some respect for the poor Muggles. Besides, I haven't been to a zoo for ages, Mum and Dad have been too busy drilling holes in clients' teeth…"
The silly Slytherins in question, however, were a sour bunch that afternoon, muttering darkly to each other and casting resentful glares up at Dumbledore during the rest of lunch and dinner. Naturally, the Gryffindors were enjoying themselves immensely at the Slytherin' discomfort and disappointment, and wasted no time in taunting the Slytherins and warning them about all the terrible horrors contained in Muggle Zoos.
Hermione, dragging Ron and Ginny, the Gryffindor prefects, with her, was constantly off berating her fellow Gryffindors and docking house points after finding a poor sixth year Slytherin hyperventilating and crying out about how the Muggle Zoo keepers were planning to boil him for the elephant's dinner.
By the end of day, Ginny was struggling to keep her laughter in check, Ron was bitterly complaining about how his feet hurt and trying to convince his fellow Gryffindors that he was really on their side, not Hermione's, and Hermione herself was looking highly irritated and tired as she dragged the red-heads with her through the Fat Lady's Portrait.
A grinning Harry met them at the door, and almost instantly he and Ron had whipped out the Wizard Chess set and were engaged in a furious battle. Ginny and Hermione sat back and watched it all, discussing things that boys will just never understand. They eventually drifted off to the sounds of "Aha! Get him, get him!" and "No, you're a castle, a pawn can't beat you! What are you doing, you silly chess piece?". It wasn't until the clock chimed at midnight that Hermione woke up from her comfy spot on the red, plush couch and realized she had missed her patrol with Malfoy.
One deranged scream and a flying mass of brown curls later, Hermione was scrambling out the door and sprinting towards the Heads' dorm, praying that Malfoy had forgotten about their patrol duties too.