A/N: Chapter Seven is up! Wow! I hope everyone's happy, and that this chapter is just as good for you to read! I'm running out of funny ideas at the moment, but I'll try to add in as much humour as I can!
Thank you once more to all of my wonderful, fantastic reviewers – I seriously love you guys, you're great and your reviews encourage me and keep me writing more!
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DCMMFAN: Maya is a nickname for Hermione. I'm glad to see that you like reading my fic, and yes, I'm trying to keep writing more and more!
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Disclaimer: Don't own a single thing, except for the slightly crazy plot…. Oh, all right, the completely crazy, wacky plot! …But you guys still like it, right?! :)
Hogwarts At The Zoo
Chapter Seven: Get That Damn Camera!
Hermione stretched luxuriously in her bed and opened one eye sleepily, eyeing the sunlight pouring through the curtains with annoyance. With a heavy sigh, she slid out of bed and padded across her bedroom in her dark blue shorts and pastel blue tank top. Yawning, she glanced blearily at her watch. 'Good…six thirty…Malfoy won't be up yet, the lazy git.' She grinned – she would surely have the bathroom all to herself for at least half an hour.
Just in case, she listened at the bathroom door, forgetting entirely that silencing spells had been put up around the door. Upon hearing no noise, she happily slipped inside, humming to herself with her eyes closed. She strolled to the sink and splashed water on her face. Wide awake now, she blindly groped for a towel, water dripping her down her face. Drying her face, she absently looked up at the mirror and promptly dropped the towel.
"Aaaaaahhh!"
"Aaaaaahhh!" Malfoy agreed whole-heartedly from the bathtub.
Hermione slapped her hands over her face. "First Crabbe and Goyle, now you!"
"Hey!" Malfoy interjected, offended. "Don't put me in the same category as those fools! At least I'm good looking!" He added.
"Oh, who cares if you're good looking? I don't need to see that!"
"Well, I care!"
"That's only because you're a vain, arrogant pretty boy!"
"What?"
"You heard me! Now, kindly get out before I have to be transferred to St. Mungo's padded rooms!"
"Hey, it's not that bad to see me like this! Most girls like it!"
"Well, I'm not one of those girls, obviously!"
"Come on, Hermione, take a look, you know you want to!" he teased her, smirking at her red cheeks.
"Out!" Hermione howled.
"All right, keep your hair on, I'm going, let me find a towel first. I'm not wandering starkers around the whole dorm. You never know when Dumbledore might decide to be 'funny' and pop in for a quick chat."
"There's like a one percent chance of that happening, Malfoy."
"One can never be too cautious."
He finished wrapping a white towel around his waist and turned to look at her. His eyes slid appreciatively over her body. "Nice pyjamas, Granger."
"Shut up. And what's with calling me Granger again? I thought you'd gone on to my first name." She slid an eye open, checking he was fully covered, and then opened both of her eyes.
"You don't call me by my first name."
"Terribly sorry, Drakie-pooh. Happy now?"
He scowled at her. "No, actually, I'm not. Don't call me that. You sound like Pansy." To Hermione's amusement, he shuddered.
"So can I call you, then?"
"How about Draco?"
"That's a stupid name, you know. Though I must admit it does suit you quite well."
"It is not!"
"Is too!"
"It means Dragon! That's cool, not stupid!"
"Really? Then I take back my previous comment: it doesn't suit you at all. You're no dragon. You're more…fluffy, white…bouncy, even…"
He glowered at her. "That's not funny, Granger."
"Really? It is for me. I think it's Ron's favourite memory, actually. And Harry thinks it's funny, too."
"Shut up already."
"Calm down, I'm only joking, no need to get narky."
A raised eyebrow. "Narky, Hermione?"
"It just worked well with the sentence."
"Apparently."
"Shut up, will you?"
"If you insist. I'll just have to find other ways to entertain myself, then."
He smirked as he slipped behind her and slid his arms around her waist. He trailed feather light kisses up her neck, smirking when he felt her lean back into his chest with a soft sigh. Trailing his hands around her waist, he moved in front of her, beginning to bite and lick at her neck, in the spot that he knew affected her the most.
Hermione felt her knees tremble as Malfoy moved around her and bit her neck, following his teeth with his tongue. She slid an arm around his neck, the other moving up his muscled chest. She felt his smirk grow wider as he moved to her lips and passionately, roughly, kissed her, taking complete control, and she fell against him, her chest rising and falling with panting breaths.
Malfoy slid one arm up her back, supporting her even as he ran his fingers through her silky brown curls. He backed them up against the wall, and felt her unconsciously sliding her leg up and around his own. Suppressing a grin, he trailed his other hand down and slipped it underneath her top, massaging her flat stomach. He felt her groan as he teasingly brushed his fingers up higher, before sliding his hand out of her top.
Hermione, frustrated when he pulled his head up to draw in a breath, ran her fingers through his hair and tugged his head back down. She abruptly took control, sliding her tongue in his mouth and using her leg to pull him closer to her. She felt his slight grin as he matched her passion, then stole control of the kiss back from her.
Malfoy lifted his free hand and trailed it across her jaw and down her neck. Feeling her draw him closer, he slid his hand down to her chest, caressing her and making her arch her back with a low moan. Continuing his actions, he focused on the kiss, biting her lip and hungrily plunging his tongue into her mouth with a barely audible groan as she slid her hand down his chest towards the towel wrapped around his waist.
A loud cracking sound and a flash of green light caused the two to jump apart, panting heavily.
Malfoy smirked as he saw Hermione staring at him, her cheeks flushed and still breathing heavily. He absently brushed a curl of silky brown hair from her face and nodded towards the door. "Come on. Someone's here."
She smiled shakily and fixed her top before following him out of the bathroom and down into the common room.
Malfoy looked at her, his lips twitching upwards slightly. "Only a one percent chance, huh, Hermione?"
She stared incredulously at Dumbledore, who had flooed in from his office and was currently studying the painting on the wall above the fireplace.
He turned around, blue eyes twinkling merrily as he glanced at the pair. "I do hope I wasn't interrupting anything."
Hermione got the sudden, nasty feeling that Dumbledore knew exactly what had been going on in the bathroom merely two minutes ago. She had the decency to blush a vivid red, while Malfoy rolled his eyes at her and remained impassive when Dumbledore's eyes flickered over to him.
"No, sir." Malfoy replied coolly. "There was just a slight problem over the bathroom rights."
Dumbledore's smile widened. "I see. Well, in that case," he glanced at Malfoy, amused to see him only wearing a towel, "I do hope your dispute over the bathroom has been resolved. Oh, and Mr. Malfoy, I believe the robes are stored in the cupboard next to the towel rack."
Malfoy scowled and stalked up the stairs, coming back after a minute with a robe wrapped loosely around him. He tossed another to Hermione.
She caught it, and glanced up at him enquiringly.
"Too skimpy." He grunted finally, gesturing vaguely at her clothes.
Dumbledore was watching the brief exchange with a delighted look on his face. As she slipped on the white, fluffy robe, Hermione sourly guessed that the Headmaster was ecstatic that at least one Gryffindor and one Slytherin were getting along fairly well.
"Well," Dumbledore began, beaming at them, "I just wanted to personally congratulate you two on becoming the Head Boy and Girl of Hogwarts, and also to remind you that now, more than ever before, Hogwarts needs you two to set an example to your peers and prove to them that inter-house relationships are, indeed, quite possible. However," He looked knowingly between them, "it appears that you two already have taken that idea into account. Well done, Mr. Malfoy, Miss. Granger. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get back to my office – Mr. Filch has submitted another form asking permission to get rid of Peeves. I must say, I will have to decline – the school needs a few trouble-makers to liven things up a bit. Good day."
Dumbledore turned, his purple robes with silver stars clashing horribly with the green couches, and thew a small fistful of powder into the fire. The fire roared up high, turning a bright green, and Dumbledore disappeared into it with a final smile at the two students.
"Well," Hermione began, struggling to restrain her laughter. "That was certainly unexpected. And weird." She added, fighting to keep her mouth in a straight line.
"A one percent chance, you said." Malfoy shook his head ruefully, then suddenly laughed. "Thank god I didn't listen to you – imagine if I hadn't been wearing that towel when Dumbledore came."
"He'd probably find it rather funny."
"The disturbing part about that is that you're probably quite right."
…o.::.O.::.o…
Malfoy sat down with a sigh at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Grabbing his plate, he loaded it with toast, eggs and bacon and promptly dug in to the hearty meal. Blaise leaned back in his chair and watched, a smirk spreading across his face, as he saw Malfoy covertly glancing up every time the doors to the hall opened.
After the tenth time, he saw Malfoy stop eating as his eyes followed someone entering the hall. Following his gaze, Blaise's eyes settled upon the Head Girl, Hermione Granger. He grinned – his best friend was clearly infatuated with the pretty Gryffindor girl.
"Interested in the Gryffindor princess now, Malfoy?"
"Fuck, no, Blaise. Don't be ridiculous." Malfoy snapped as he returned his attention to his breakfast.
Not that Malfoy would ever admit to actually liking the girl, though.
Blaise promptly decided that Malfoy's little denial problem would have to be fixed. He couldn't have his best friend in doubt over a girl. It wouldn't do, not at all.
Blaise briefly wondered whom he could enlist to help him on his new mission - to bring Draco and Hermione together. His eyes landed upon Ginny Weasley, close friend to the Golden Trio and an excellent match-maker to boot. Perfect.
…o.::.O.::.o…
Hermione, fervently wishing that it was a weekend, moved out of the Great Hall and headed for Arithmacy. She groaned when she saw Lavender and Parvati coming straight towards her. Seeing the Gryffindor Gossip Queens meant only one thing: run, or face having your every word spoken twisted into an insane and highly embarrassing rumour. She hitched her bag higher up on her shoulder and tried to gently shove people out of her way in a futile attempt to escape.
Hermione sighed as a whiff of perfume engulfed her and hands reached to pull her backwards and around to face the two gossiping girls.
"What?" She asked them grumpily.
"Why, Hermione, sweetie, there's no need to be so sulky! We just want to ask you a few questions, don't we, Lavvy?"
Lavender smiled prettily. "Hermione, honey, you might be able to hide the truth from Harry and Ron, but we're girls. We know what that special glow in your face means."
"What glow?" Now she was really confused. These two were really the limit of girlish insanity and inane remarks.
They gasped dramatically, holding hands to their hearts. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Oh, you poor thing," Parvati moaned, "Did you hear that, Lavvy? She doesn't even know what the glow is! Oh, I just knew we should have taken her under our wing sooner."
Lavender nodded in agreement. Hermione, on the other hand, looked even more disturbed and tried to edge away slowly into the crowd.
None of the girls noticed Malfoy and Blaise's eyes were focused on them, or rather, Hermione, as they continued to talk loudly.
"Let's go closer." Blaise suggested, eyeing the camera hidden behind Lavender's back with interest. "I want to hear what they're saying."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow but followed him silently.
"Hermione," Parvati continued, as Lavender stopped her from leaving, "The glow we're talking about is the one all girls get when they are kissed for the first time, or when they get a really special kiss from that special some one."
"So who's the lucky guy?" Lavender added, her eyes bright.
"That would be me," a voice drawled from behind them. They turned to find Draco Malfoy smirking at them. He suddenly grinned at Hermione. "Hermione, dear," he continued smoothly, "You forgot about that kiss I had promised you this morning."
Hermione glared. "Shut up, Malfoy. I know what you're doing, and it's not funny."
"Oh, come on, like you're really going to complain about another extra kiss."
Lavender and Parvati's heads swivelled back and forth between the two, shocked and highly excited expressions on their faces. Dimly, Hermione was reminded of people watching a tennis match.
Her thoughts were completely wiped out, though, when Malfoy promptly leaned over and pulled her into a deep kiss. She rolled her eyes, and then slid her arms around his neck, enjoying the feeling of his tongue roaming the inside of her mouth. A light flashed, and she pulled back, turning to stare in horror at the camera in Lavender's hands.
"Excellent work, Lavvy!" Parvati exclaimed. The girl smiled smugly.
"How…" Hermione said, dazed, then glared at the two girls. "You're going to post that picture up in the school, aren't you?"
"Naturally." Lavender replied coolly. "It's going to be the hottest gossip ever."
Hermione glared. "Where'd you even get the camera from?"
"Stole it from the Creevey kid." Lavender shrugged absently.
Hermione turned her glare to Malfoy, who was smirking. "You're happy about this?" she demanded.
"Of course. Wait till Potter and Weasley see that." He said gleefully. "I've officially staked my claim on you now, you know." He added, quite seriously.
"What?" Hermione's gaze darkened considerably. She suddenly turned to face Lavender. "Give me that camera, please."
"No!" Lavender and Parvati scattered as Hermione made strangling motions with her hands and glared at them.
Hermione suddenly growled, and bolted after them, howling out, "Get back here! I said, get back here! I'm Head Girl; I'm going to give you two detentions if you don't stop right now! Give me that damncamera!"
Blaise bent over, clutching his stomach and laughing loudly. Malfoy watched Hermione dashing after the other girls, her arms outstretched and formed into claws. His lips twitched into a crooked smile.
The bell rang and they headed to class, intending to save a seat for Hermione in Arithmacy.
…o.::.O.::.o…
Twenty minutes into the class, Hermione entered, looking frazzled, and told the teacher she had been out catching trouble-makers and dishing out detentions.
Malfoy's lips twitched as the teacher looked to him to confirm that Hermione had, indeed, been on Head student business, and he nodded, backing up her excuse.
Hermione sat down wearily at the seat saved for her between Malfoy and Blaise. She looked up at the window, groaned, and buried her head in her arms. The boys looked up to catch sight of Parvati and Lavender triumphantly dancing past, waving the camera.