Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. They belong to an evil genius named
Joss. Although I don't know if he's evil or not.
Distribution: Go ahead. Ask first
Spoilers: None
A/N: Hey thanks for all of the reviews. Sorry for the long wait, but I told you that it might be awhile considering the fact that I'm working on like three stories. I think I might be overworking myself, but that's okay. Answer to Hannah's questions. I don't want to give too much away and I'm not exactly sure how this will work as well, but here's what I think will most likely happen. Both the Buffy's and the Spike's are going to totally switch dimensions. Buffy will still be a vampire in the other dimension and Spike will be the Slayer and vice versa. It's sort of a glimpse into the other's life and the hardships that come with that. Hopefully that answered the questions and didn't make things worse. Thanks to all reviewers. On with the story.
Chapter 3:
Spike walked inside his house. It was dark. He walked into the living room and turned on the light. It was quiet as well.
"Dawn! Willow! Anyone home?" he yelled.
There wasn't an answer. He wondered into the kitchen and found a note on the refrigerator. It was the first place he went to after he got home from work. Patrolling and Doublemeat Palace. He read it.
Hey Spike,
If you're reading this you're a pig! No just kidding although I do think that the kitchen is your favorite place in the whole house. Willow and I are at the Bronze shaking our groove things. That was quoth Willow not me. Anyhoo think about coming over to the Bronze. We're waiting for you. If you don't we'll be home by eleven. See you then. If you're still awake.
Love, Dawn.
Spike placed the note back on the refrigerator. This was the perfect chance to miss his daily meeting with Buffy. Of course just because he meet them at the Bronze didn't guarantee that he wouldn't meet up with Buffy later.
That didn't mean that he couldn't delay the inevitable. It wasn't like Buffy was going to be waiting for him. She'd probably go to some local demon bar, get drunk and cheat at kitten poker. Why they used kittens was beyond him, but that was the currency she played with. She probably exchanged it for real money with some dealer.
So it was decided that he would go. Just take a quick shower to try and mask the smell of Doublemeat Palace and put on some less orange-y looking clothes and he'd be ready. He'd go have fun with his friends and do the normal thing for at least a couple of hours.
Maybe he'd mention the weird girl that came to his work today. For him the supernatural stuff was all lumped into the normal thing. The only un-normal was sleeping with a soulless vampire. Or at least that's how it was in his book.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike walked inside the Bronze looking his best and holding the note that Dawn wrote him. She had used 'quoth' and that wasn't going to get past without a little teasing. It was only fair. A little mindless fun was exactly what the doctor ordered.
It would take his mind off of other things. He scanned the crowd looking for his friends. His eyes landed on the group sitting at a table in the far corner of the club. He slowly made his way to the group.
"Hey guys." Spike said after he made his way to his friends.
"Well look who decided to come out of hiding." Dawn said when she saw her brother standing in front of them.
"It's about time. It's been too long since we've all been to the Bronze." Willow said taking a sip of her drink.
"Yeah we thought for sure you'd do a quick patrol, eat something and then go to sleep. It's pleasant surprise that you decided to come and not let me the only guy surrounded by a bunch of girls." Xander said pulling Anya closer to him. S
pike took a seat next to Willow and looked at his friends expectantly. One of them had to have something of interest happening in their lives.
After a minute or two of silence Spike spoke up. "So how goes the wedding plans?" He asked Anya and Xander.
"They're tedious, but they're going." Xander said. Anya looked up from her magazine.
"Oh right because you're doing all the work. You're just sitting there eating your chips and being useless while I'm trying to create our prefect day. And I will have a prefect day even if I have to kill everyone on the wedding list and half this town to do it." Anya said looking back at the papers and magazines in front of her.
"Can I opt for a no slaughter day. Kinda lax for work as it is." Spike said trying to joke.
"Yeah joke all you want Spike. All this is very stressful." Anya said not bothering to look up from her plans.
Spike nodded his head and mumbled 'right' while fidgeting his leg nervously. Silence fell over the group again.
"So how goes things at work, Spike." Willow said trying to keep the silence away. Spike looked up at her and gulped. He wondered if he should tell them about the girl who came in.
"It's good. Tedious and smelly, but good. Earns a living, although I don't know if that's a fair trade off for the freaks." Spike said deciding to be vague and see if they cared.
"Freaks? What kind of freaks?" Dawn asked.
"Just your regular run of the mill freaks. Today this really freaky girl came in and started talking about weird stuff." Spike said keeping up his vague description.
"Saying things like what?" Willow asked with a confused tone in her voice and look on her face.
"Oh stuff like the end was coming and bringing big monsters with it. You know the usual Sunnydale Hellmouth-y stuff." Spike said in mock indifference.
"Okay officially interested in whatever this freak had to say." Xander said.
"She actually said that the end was coming?" Dawn said.
"Should we be worried. I mean lots of demons like to say that the end is coming, but most of the time it's horse hooey. Evil things like to say that they're bringing the end." Anya said still not looking up from her wedding plans.
"See I didn't get an evil vibe. She seemed like she wanted to help me for some strange reason. Kept saying that I needed to open my eyes and that I was confused. That my confusion was gonna bring pain and stuff like that." Spike said trying to remember what exactly the girl said.
"Maybe she was sent be the Powers that Be to help. You know kind of like a seer." Willow said.
"When she touched my arm I got this weird feeling. Like there was this heat rushing through my body. Maybe it was magic?" Spike said.
"Maybe they want to show you something. The Powers like to do that. Send down little messengers to help their heroes and champions out. Show them the light and what not." Anya said.
"So what we just wait." Xander asked.
"That would be the general idea. I don't think this concerns us. Not directly anyway. This is about Spike." Anya said.
"That's all I ever do." Spike whispered repeating the girl's earlier words.
"What?" Willow asked.
"Nothing. I guess it's nothing. Probably not even a messenger from the Powers. Just thought that maybe I should bring it up. No big." Spike said looking down at his hands.
"Yeah it was probably just your general freak. Although from my experience general crazy people help out a lot." Dawn said remembering back to when that crazy man told her that she was the key.
"Yeah it wouldn't be the first time Spike here thought that there was something demonic going on with his job." Xander said.
"Yeah, but he was right that time." Anya pointed out.
"You know what. Let's just forget about. I have a note here that says we're supposed to be shaking our groove things. It also says quoth, but the teasing can resume later. Shaking of the groove things now." Spike said.
"Sure, should be good mindless fun." Willow said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She wasn't walking home. No if she was walking home then she wouldn't be mad at herself. She was walking to his crypt. Despite what she told herself, Buffy's time with her friends only delayed the inevitable. Not that she hadn't prepared for this. She knew it was more likely to happen this way. The Bronze was great and for awhile there it was just like old times. Things were good and happy instead of down and dreary. Even Anya snapping at her was better then nothing.
Things were quiet in the beginning, but they opened up. Of course she had to use her run in with Mr. Creepy to lighten up the mood. Like old times, going to the Bronze and talking about things to slay. They talked it out as a group and established that there was nothing weird going on.
With that down they danced the night away stopping only for light conversation and drinks. Not too much in Buffy's case, but just enough to keep her mind settled. But eventually the night wore away and people had to get home. Anya and Xander left first both complaining that they had to get up early for work.
Only an hour after that Buffy decided that it was time for Dawn to get home and Willow followed as well. She had to get up for school in the morning just like Dawn did. Buffy had work. All her friends were grown-up and so was Buffy.
She tried to go to sleep, but spent at least an hour in bed before giving in and getting dressed for patrol. At least she told herself it was patrol. She knew the truth. She was going out to see Spike. Maybe dust a few random vamps that happened to get in her way, but her mission was to go to Spike. She sought him out and she knew it.
No matter how much she denied it she knew it somewhere in the deep crevasses of her soul she knew. Although admitting this would never happen in a million years. Why would she want to get sucked further into the madness that was her life when she could just as easily pretend that nothing was going on? That she was just fine and that things were all sunshine and roses.
So she was walking to his crypt knowing full well what she was doing, but not admitting it to herself. Spike wasn't the one who was possessed, she was or at least that's how she felt. There had to be something wrong with her if she was doing this. There just had to be something wrong with her.
Why else would Spike's chip not work on her? Sure Tara said it was because a displacement of molecular do-hickeys, but it couldn't be just that. If there wasn't something wrong with her then there wouldn't be any excuse as to why she did the things she did. It would have all been her and it couldn't be her making those decisions.
Buffy got to Spike's crypt and decided to do something she never did before. She knocked on the door. There was a faint sound of rustling inside before the door was opened revealing a tired looking Spike in tight fitting black jeans and a black shirt.
"Oh it's you." Spike said yawning a bit. He looked ridiculously human when he did that. He had obviously been asleep in his chair when she knocked. His hair was ruffled into its natural curl and his clothes were slightly wrinkled.
"Yeah it's me. You were expecting who. . . the pope?" Buffy said.
"No just not your thing, luv. You know knockin'. Usually you jus' throw the door open. Thought it might 'ave been someone else." Spike said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Like who?" Buffy asked.
"I don't know. 'M a very busy littl' vampire. Could be anyone." Spike said. Silence fell over the pair for about a minute before Spike spoke up.
"Come in, will you." He said moving aside to let her in.
Buffy walked inside the crypt and looked around. The only light was the small black and white television that sat in the middle of the room and a single flickering candle. The TV was playing some old horror film that Spike enjoyed so much. It was either on a monster fest channel or on Passions. He was one weird vamp.
"So. . ." Buffy started.
"Look I know you jus' didn't come 'ere ta make wif' the small talk and 'ave tea an' crumpets. Either you got an itch you can't scratch or you're gonna pump me for information. Either way there's pumpin' ta be done so get it over wif' already." Spike said.
"Wow you know just what to say to a girl to get her in the mood. Every think about giving pointers to those who don't ever want to get laid." Buffy said sarcastically.
"Well not really in the mood myself. Kinda tired, Slayer, so why don't you jus' sod off an' I'll see you tomorrow. You missed your appointment." Spike said holding the door open for her.
"And the charm just keeps on coming." Buffy muttered.
"Yeah well s'not like you've ever done anything ta make me all tingly. You jus' expect to come in 'ere and get what you want. Feels like 'm runnin' a service 'ere. Like one of them twenty-four hour stores people are so fond of." Spike said.
"I think 711 is more popular." Buffy said.
"Well then why don't you go an' get your rocks off over there." Spike said motioning towards the door.
"Why are you complaining. You never did before." Buffy asked.
"Yeah well now my eyes are open jus' a littl' bit more." Spike said defensively.
"Oh really." Buffy said walking over towards him.
"Yeah now I think it'd be best if you left." Spike said.
"Or what?" Buffy said challengingly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Or what he says. He knows I can hurt him and yet he stays there full of bluster and bravado even thought he knows who he's messing with. Elizabeth the Bloody here. Jesus Christ I can't even frighten the Slayer anymore. A Slayer in black sweats slippers and an oversized T-shirt. At least it isn't like he's wearing Yummy Sushi pajamas like Dawn. And isn't illegal for the Slayer to wear black. Buffy thought.
"Come on Buffy. I dare you to take a swing at me. You never do anymore and I kinda miss it." Spike said pacing around the crypt looking like he's going to ware a tread in it.
"What are you playin' at, Slayer. You think this is a game. 'M an evil blood suckin' fiend remember. Creature of the night." Buffy said holding up her hands in a 'grr arg' scary claw like way.
Spike laughed. It was one of those bone-chilling evil villain laughs that were only reversed for Buffy's presence.
"Pathetic excuse for a creature of the night if you ask me. Can't hunt can't kill so you decide it's better to pine over the Slayer. Yeah really creature of the night-y." Spike said still laughing in Buffy's face.
It was times like these when Buffy did really feel like killing him. Making it quick and painless just to shut him up. His words were so hurtful that they made Buffy wanted to kill him something she would never think of when he wasn't saying them.
And sometimes, Buffy wondered if that's what he wanted. That one of these days she would just snap and sink her fangs into his lovely flesh and that would be the end of it. He would go back to heaven and be safe.
And it was when Buffy looked into his eyes and saw the raw pain that she really considered doing it. Before it would be out of angry because sometimes who really didn't think about killing someone when they were angry.
Okay maybe not the people that you love, but when you fight you wish that they would hurt just as badly as you do. When she saw him looking the way he did at this moment she really did want to end it for him. All the pain and suffering should just have been washed away and he wouldn't have to carry the burden at all.
If his dying was the only way that she could do that then she'd gladly take that option into consideration. Although she'd never do it. She was too selfish to let him go. Not now not ever. She wasn't done saving him.
Buffy slowly walked over to him, their faces mere inches apart. Spike took in a sharp intake of breath. He looked down at her with clouded eyes and just stared into her green ones. Slowly Buffy stepped forward closing the gap between them kissing him ever so lightly.
It wasn't anything like how they had kissed before. Mostly their kiss weren't at all gentle, but almost to the point where they were bruising. This kiss was soft and sweet something that shouldn't even be associated with the sick relationship they had. But right at that moment it didn't matter. All that matter was the feel of lips on lips.
Hands began to roam, but not in the frantic needy way that they usually did. Each caress was barely there. Spike's hands settled at Buffy's waist and drew her closer to him. Bodies against bodies, clothed flesh against clothed flesh. Both bodies humming with anticipation over the soon to be coupling. Buffy's singing that for once she would be able to show Spike how much she really did love him. Spike's humming at how close Buffy was to him.
Spike slightly pulled away from her resting his forehead on hers.
"That all you got." He said in mock taunting.
"No, I'll show you s'actly what else I got in store for you." Buffy said dragging him by the hand to the lower part of the crypt.
The one that housed the comfy bed that would be so much nicer then the floor. Spike followed as he was helplessly led down the ladder and over to the bed. The feeling that evaded his chest when he felt Buffy's gentleness with him unexplainable and definitely unknown to him. At least when he was with Buffy. The feeling was welcomed though. It left a warm fuzzy feeling that spread through him like wildfire. It made him feel alive.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Alive was something Buffy hadn't felt in awhile. Sure she felt some feeling when she was with Spike, but that feeling was nothing like the feeling she felt right now. This was new and went farther then anticipation. This was a soaring high through the mountains type of feeling. Like she was a bird and free to do whatever she pleased.
But what did it mean. Buffy lost all thought when Spike's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in for another minding searing kiss. Gently and oh so slowly Spike set Buffy on the bed. He laid on top of her using his arms to keep from smothering her. He bent his head down and came in for another kiss.
The kisses were something that Buffy hadn't experienced in awhile. They were so gentle and passion filled. They were those kinda earth shattering who really cares if the apocalypse is on our hills as long as I stay here the world can cease to exist type of kisses.
She had only ever felt something this intense from a kiss when she was with Angel. Never had she felt anything like this with Riley. Panic started to rise in her chest as she realized what exactly she was feeling. Love. Plain simple love that consumed so deep you lost yourself in it. And for that moment it was okay. Wrong but okay.
Spike's hands made their way under Buffy's skin and Buffy shivered slightly at the feel of the cool experienced hands touching her hot skin. His hands ran over her body possessively and Buffy just let herself feel the feelings running through her body.
Such good amazing feelings that ran through her body just at the slightest touch of his hands. The hands of a man who had slaughtered half of Europe and had no regrets about it. This man with no soul to speak of yet he stuck around and helped out even after she was dead.
This man who really wasn't a man, but wanted nothing more then to be the kind of man that she would love. Though she could never bring herself to tell him that she believed that he could be a good man. That he could in fact be the kind of person she could turn to always.
That would mean that she would have to let the walls down. Something that she couldn't do. She had worked to hard to build those walls. They didn't have anything to do with him being a vampire or evil. Angel had been a vampire and even when he was evil she still loved him with all her heart because she knew he had potential.
Spike had that same kind of potential soul or no soul. No these walls were all about her and her heartache. She couldn't let anyone else in because it would all result in heartache and pain. Pain was not a friend to anyone and definitely not to the Slayer. She had run away from her duties because of it and she couldn't let that happen again.
Spike looked down into her face. He always let the love shine through into his eyes whenever Buffy was near. He didn't care about heartache although Buffy thought he should. He let his heart be out there so easily and broke when it was trampled on.
He had allowed himself to be broken in the name of love all the time. He was fearless when it came to things like that. Buffy admired that about him. No matter how many times he was trampled by love he never grew afraid of it. He was brave in so many ways that Buffy never could be and maybe she resented him a littler for it.
"Buffy, I love you." Spike said leaning his head down again for another kiss and Buffy was sure she could feel his love for her radiating into her soul burning her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wait stop!" Spike yelled frantically trying to push Buffy off of him after breaking their last kiss.
It was filled with too much emotion that made Spike doubt the little voice saying that everything was okay. No he wasn't ready for this.
"Spike whas' wrong?" Buffy asked genuine concern laced in her voice. She was still straddling his hips.
"Please. I have to go. This. . . I can't do this. Get off of me!" Spike yelled again still trying to pull Buffy off of him. He finally managed to push her off of him and he jumped off of the bed as if it were the pits of hell.
"Spike what the bloody hell is that matter wif' you?" Buffy asked pointedly staring at him as though he had done something totally absurd.
"This is what is the matter with me. You're trying to make this about love when it's about sex. Just about sex Buffy. Nothing more. That's all I want out of you. You know that right? You're just a convenient body to screw every once in awhile. I don't love you." Spike said more to himself then to Buffy. She just continued to stare at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Right Spike whatever you say." She said in a defeated voice.
"So you understand me then. This is about sex and nothing else. Just sex with no feelings or strings attached or anything like that." Spike looked at Buffy expectantly.
A mixture of emotions played on her face. It looked like she wanted to scream at him. Tell him he was stupid and kick his ass. Her face held anger towards him, but she looked like something else. She looked like a kicked puppy. Maybe he had pushed her over the edge one too many times now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike looked up at Buffy just standing there after telling him it was all about sex. Sure he knew that was how she wanted it. She never went a day without telling him so, but this time he really thought that maybe she would let him love her. He looked at her with his eyes filled with hurt and heartache. She finally succeeded in breaking him and not for the better.
"I can't do this anymore either. I can't just sit back and let you use me all the time and not say something about it. 'S killing me and I can't do it anymore, as I'm sure you can't either. I can't always be 'ere ta jus' sit back an' let you take over everything that is me. If 's all 'bout sex then you can go find it somewhere else. 'M leavin' Sunnyhell. This is it Buffy. I can't do this anymore. So jus' go." Spike said bowing his head down.
Buffy looked at him with puzzlement. He was actually going to leave. There was set determination in those eyes right before he looked down at what was so interesting in his hands.
Buffy could feel her chest heavy inside of her and she felt herself ready to collapse as the weight of what Spike was saying sunk in. he was leaving. For good this time. No coming back to kidnap Xander and Willow.
No coming back for a stupid Gem of Amara. No more trying to kill the Slayer or love her for that matter. Before he could see her cry she ran out of the crypt and back to her house. The cold night air whipping at her face and making her feel nauseous from it all. Spike was going to leave her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Spike got home he collapsed on his bed determined not to cry. Guys didn't cry and Slayers especially didn't cry. Buffy was nothing to him and he was determined to keep it that way. So she was going to leave. It didn't matter.
One less blood-sucking fiend to worry about and it took the temptation away. That was a good thing. It was all a good thing. Nothing bad was going to happen anymore. Everything would return to normal and no one would know the difference. Yeah things were going to be good now, Spike thought as he let himself fall into an uneasy sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy's crypt was a mess. What did she care about all the trashed items thrown everywhere. What did she care about how messy something was when she was leaving soon. She would pack up the Desoto and be out of Sunnyhell for good. No more Slayer. No more rejection. No more hurt or heartache.
She was through with it. Time to pack up and start anew. Just get a good night's sleep and leave the next day. The sooner the better. Then she would be able to forget about the Slayer that always haunted her thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike took the top cap off of his stash of bourbon. He had already drunk his way through the scotch and the Jack D that he had at his little bar at the bottom of his soon to be ex-crypt. Leaving this little set up was going to be hard.
It was the perfect little place, but it was time to go. He had overstayed his welcome and completely trashed the place as it was. She could never love him and the sooner he got that the sooner he would be able to get on with his life without her. Just get some rest and then go. Go and never come back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well that certainly didn't play out like I thought it would. I thought you said that everything would work out." Maddy asked The Voice.
"Yes, you reassured me that things would go good. That didn't look good to me. It looked a little angst filled rather then hugs and cuddles. Wasn't it supposed to be about hugs and cuddles." Brian asked as he walked over to Maddy.
"No this is just the beginning. Because they neglected to let each other feel now the must face something that is beyond them." The voice said.
"Okay that was more then a little cryptic. What does it mean?" Maddy asked.
"Madeline have a little faith. Just watch as it happens." The voice said.
"Okay, but I don't think I like where this is going. I thought you said that in both realities the Vampire and the Slayer have to work as one in order to stop the apocalypse. If the vampire leaves then that won't happen. Isn't that what you say in your vision." Brian asked curiously.
They had been sent down to stop what was happening, not just sit back and let the same thing happen that would bring the world to it's knees.
"Yes that is what is what I saw." The voice said.
"Okay then why aren't we going down there and stopping it from happening." Maddy asked.
"Because Maddy. There is a plan that is forming. Don't worry. Things will work out fine. It should be fun to watch." The voice said.
"Okay he just said that something would be fun. Does he even know what fun is?" Brian asked Maddy.
"I don't think so." Maddy said equally as perplexed as Brian was.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer for drinks."
A/N: Okay so whattcha think. Good or no good. Stay or what the heck were you think when you posted this it sucks so badly there aren't any words for it and it makes Hoover look like a lower powered machine. Please review and I'm open to flamers if there are any. I don't really care as long as you review. If you want another chapter I need some inspiration. It's probably going to stay now that I started getting into it, but it's always in danger. So hurry up and review. Tell me what you think.
Distribution: Go ahead. Ask first
Spoilers: None
A/N: Hey thanks for all of the reviews. Sorry for the long wait, but I told you that it might be awhile considering the fact that I'm working on like three stories. I think I might be overworking myself, but that's okay. Answer to Hannah's questions. I don't want to give too much away and I'm not exactly sure how this will work as well, but here's what I think will most likely happen. Both the Buffy's and the Spike's are going to totally switch dimensions. Buffy will still be a vampire in the other dimension and Spike will be the Slayer and vice versa. It's sort of a glimpse into the other's life and the hardships that come with that. Hopefully that answered the questions and didn't make things worse. Thanks to all reviewers. On with the story.
Chapter 3:
Spike walked inside his house. It was dark. He walked into the living room and turned on the light. It was quiet as well.
"Dawn! Willow! Anyone home?" he yelled.
There wasn't an answer. He wondered into the kitchen and found a note on the refrigerator. It was the first place he went to after he got home from work. Patrolling and Doublemeat Palace. He read it.
Hey Spike,
If you're reading this you're a pig! No just kidding although I do think that the kitchen is your favorite place in the whole house. Willow and I are at the Bronze shaking our groove things. That was quoth Willow not me. Anyhoo think about coming over to the Bronze. We're waiting for you. If you don't we'll be home by eleven. See you then. If you're still awake.
Love, Dawn.
Spike placed the note back on the refrigerator. This was the perfect chance to miss his daily meeting with Buffy. Of course just because he meet them at the Bronze didn't guarantee that he wouldn't meet up with Buffy later.
That didn't mean that he couldn't delay the inevitable. It wasn't like Buffy was going to be waiting for him. She'd probably go to some local demon bar, get drunk and cheat at kitten poker. Why they used kittens was beyond him, but that was the currency she played with. She probably exchanged it for real money with some dealer.
So it was decided that he would go. Just take a quick shower to try and mask the smell of Doublemeat Palace and put on some less orange-y looking clothes and he'd be ready. He'd go have fun with his friends and do the normal thing for at least a couple of hours.
Maybe he'd mention the weird girl that came to his work today. For him the supernatural stuff was all lumped into the normal thing. The only un-normal was sleeping with a soulless vampire. Or at least that's how it was in his book.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike walked inside the Bronze looking his best and holding the note that Dawn wrote him. She had used 'quoth' and that wasn't going to get past without a little teasing. It was only fair. A little mindless fun was exactly what the doctor ordered.
It would take his mind off of other things. He scanned the crowd looking for his friends. His eyes landed on the group sitting at a table in the far corner of the club. He slowly made his way to the group.
"Hey guys." Spike said after he made his way to his friends.
"Well look who decided to come out of hiding." Dawn said when she saw her brother standing in front of them.
"It's about time. It's been too long since we've all been to the Bronze." Willow said taking a sip of her drink.
"Yeah we thought for sure you'd do a quick patrol, eat something and then go to sleep. It's pleasant surprise that you decided to come and not let me the only guy surrounded by a bunch of girls." Xander said pulling Anya closer to him. S
pike took a seat next to Willow and looked at his friends expectantly. One of them had to have something of interest happening in their lives.
After a minute or two of silence Spike spoke up. "So how goes the wedding plans?" He asked Anya and Xander.
"They're tedious, but they're going." Xander said. Anya looked up from her magazine.
"Oh right because you're doing all the work. You're just sitting there eating your chips and being useless while I'm trying to create our prefect day. And I will have a prefect day even if I have to kill everyone on the wedding list and half this town to do it." Anya said looking back at the papers and magazines in front of her.
"Can I opt for a no slaughter day. Kinda lax for work as it is." Spike said trying to joke.
"Yeah joke all you want Spike. All this is very stressful." Anya said not bothering to look up from her plans.
Spike nodded his head and mumbled 'right' while fidgeting his leg nervously. Silence fell over the group again.
"So how goes things at work, Spike." Willow said trying to keep the silence away. Spike looked up at her and gulped. He wondered if he should tell them about the girl who came in.
"It's good. Tedious and smelly, but good. Earns a living, although I don't know if that's a fair trade off for the freaks." Spike said deciding to be vague and see if they cared.
"Freaks? What kind of freaks?" Dawn asked.
"Just your regular run of the mill freaks. Today this really freaky girl came in and started talking about weird stuff." Spike said keeping up his vague description.
"Saying things like what?" Willow asked with a confused tone in her voice and look on her face.
"Oh stuff like the end was coming and bringing big monsters with it. You know the usual Sunnydale Hellmouth-y stuff." Spike said in mock indifference.
"Okay officially interested in whatever this freak had to say." Xander said.
"She actually said that the end was coming?" Dawn said.
"Should we be worried. I mean lots of demons like to say that the end is coming, but most of the time it's horse hooey. Evil things like to say that they're bringing the end." Anya said still not looking up from her wedding plans.
"See I didn't get an evil vibe. She seemed like she wanted to help me for some strange reason. Kept saying that I needed to open my eyes and that I was confused. That my confusion was gonna bring pain and stuff like that." Spike said trying to remember what exactly the girl said.
"Maybe she was sent be the Powers that Be to help. You know kind of like a seer." Willow said.
"When she touched my arm I got this weird feeling. Like there was this heat rushing through my body. Maybe it was magic?" Spike said.
"Maybe they want to show you something. The Powers like to do that. Send down little messengers to help their heroes and champions out. Show them the light and what not." Anya said.
"So what we just wait." Xander asked.
"That would be the general idea. I don't think this concerns us. Not directly anyway. This is about Spike." Anya said.
"That's all I ever do." Spike whispered repeating the girl's earlier words.
"What?" Willow asked.
"Nothing. I guess it's nothing. Probably not even a messenger from the Powers. Just thought that maybe I should bring it up. No big." Spike said looking down at his hands.
"Yeah it was probably just your general freak. Although from my experience general crazy people help out a lot." Dawn said remembering back to when that crazy man told her that she was the key.
"Yeah it wouldn't be the first time Spike here thought that there was something demonic going on with his job." Xander said.
"Yeah, but he was right that time." Anya pointed out.
"You know what. Let's just forget about. I have a note here that says we're supposed to be shaking our groove things. It also says quoth, but the teasing can resume later. Shaking of the groove things now." Spike said.
"Sure, should be good mindless fun." Willow said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She wasn't walking home. No if she was walking home then she wouldn't be mad at herself. She was walking to his crypt. Despite what she told herself, Buffy's time with her friends only delayed the inevitable. Not that she hadn't prepared for this. She knew it was more likely to happen this way. The Bronze was great and for awhile there it was just like old times. Things were good and happy instead of down and dreary. Even Anya snapping at her was better then nothing.
Things were quiet in the beginning, but they opened up. Of course she had to use her run in with Mr. Creepy to lighten up the mood. Like old times, going to the Bronze and talking about things to slay. They talked it out as a group and established that there was nothing weird going on.
With that down they danced the night away stopping only for light conversation and drinks. Not too much in Buffy's case, but just enough to keep her mind settled. But eventually the night wore away and people had to get home. Anya and Xander left first both complaining that they had to get up early for work.
Only an hour after that Buffy decided that it was time for Dawn to get home and Willow followed as well. She had to get up for school in the morning just like Dawn did. Buffy had work. All her friends were grown-up and so was Buffy.
She tried to go to sleep, but spent at least an hour in bed before giving in and getting dressed for patrol. At least she told herself it was patrol. She knew the truth. She was going out to see Spike. Maybe dust a few random vamps that happened to get in her way, but her mission was to go to Spike. She sought him out and she knew it.
No matter how much she denied it she knew it somewhere in the deep crevasses of her soul she knew. Although admitting this would never happen in a million years. Why would she want to get sucked further into the madness that was her life when she could just as easily pretend that nothing was going on? That she was just fine and that things were all sunshine and roses.
So she was walking to his crypt knowing full well what she was doing, but not admitting it to herself. Spike wasn't the one who was possessed, she was or at least that's how she felt. There had to be something wrong with her if she was doing this. There just had to be something wrong with her.
Why else would Spike's chip not work on her? Sure Tara said it was because a displacement of molecular do-hickeys, but it couldn't be just that. If there wasn't something wrong with her then there wouldn't be any excuse as to why she did the things she did. It would have all been her and it couldn't be her making those decisions.
Buffy got to Spike's crypt and decided to do something she never did before. She knocked on the door. There was a faint sound of rustling inside before the door was opened revealing a tired looking Spike in tight fitting black jeans and a black shirt.
"Oh it's you." Spike said yawning a bit. He looked ridiculously human when he did that. He had obviously been asleep in his chair when she knocked. His hair was ruffled into its natural curl and his clothes were slightly wrinkled.
"Yeah it's me. You were expecting who. . . the pope?" Buffy said.
"No just not your thing, luv. You know knockin'. Usually you jus' throw the door open. Thought it might 'ave been someone else." Spike said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Like who?" Buffy asked.
"I don't know. 'M a very busy littl' vampire. Could be anyone." Spike said. Silence fell over the pair for about a minute before Spike spoke up.
"Come in, will you." He said moving aside to let her in.
Buffy walked inside the crypt and looked around. The only light was the small black and white television that sat in the middle of the room and a single flickering candle. The TV was playing some old horror film that Spike enjoyed so much. It was either on a monster fest channel or on Passions. He was one weird vamp.
"So. . ." Buffy started.
"Look I know you jus' didn't come 'ere ta make wif' the small talk and 'ave tea an' crumpets. Either you got an itch you can't scratch or you're gonna pump me for information. Either way there's pumpin' ta be done so get it over wif' already." Spike said.
"Wow you know just what to say to a girl to get her in the mood. Every think about giving pointers to those who don't ever want to get laid." Buffy said sarcastically.
"Well not really in the mood myself. Kinda tired, Slayer, so why don't you jus' sod off an' I'll see you tomorrow. You missed your appointment." Spike said holding the door open for her.
"And the charm just keeps on coming." Buffy muttered.
"Yeah well s'not like you've ever done anything ta make me all tingly. You jus' expect to come in 'ere and get what you want. Feels like 'm runnin' a service 'ere. Like one of them twenty-four hour stores people are so fond of." Spike said.
"I think 711 is more popular." Buffy said.
"Well then why don't you go an' get your rocks off over there." Spike said motioning towards the door.
"Why are you complaining. You never did before." Buffy asked.
"Yeah well now my eyes are open jus' a littl' bit more." Spike said defensively.
"Oh really." Buffy said walking over towards him.
"Yeah now I think it'd be best if you left." Spike said.
"Or what?" Buffy said challengingly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Or what he says. He knows I can hurt him and yet he stays there full of bluster and bravado even thought he knows who he's messing with. Elizabeth the Bloody here. Jesus Christ I can't even frighten the Slayer anymore. A Slayer in black sweats slippers and an oversized T-shirt. At least it isn't like he's wearing Yummy Sushi pajamas like Dawn. And isn't illegal for the Slayer to wear black. Buffy thought.
"Come on Buffy. I dare you to take a swing at me. You never do anymore and I kinda miss it." Spike said pacing around the crypt looking like he's going to ware a tread in it.
"What are you playin' at, Slayer. You think this is a game. 'M an evil blood suckin' fiend remember. Creature of the night." Buffy said holding up her hands in a 'grr arg' scary claw like way.
Spike laughed. It was one of those bone-chilling evil villain laughs that were only reversed for Buffy's presence.
"Pathetic excuse for a creature of the night if you ask me. Can't hunt can't kill so you decide it's better to pine over the Slayer. Yeah really creature of the night-y." Spike said still laughing in Buffy's face.
It was times like these when Buffy did really feel like killing him. Making it quick and painless just to shut him up. His words were so hurtful that they made Buffy wanted to kill him something she would never think of when he wasn't saying them.
And sometimes, Buffy wondered if that's what he wanted. That one of these days she would just snap and sink her fangs into his lovely flesh and that would be the end of it. He would go back to heaven and be safe.
And it was when Buffy looked into his eyes and saw the raw pain that she really considered doing it. Before it would be out of angry because sometimes who really didn't think about killing someone when they were angry.
Okay maybe not the people that you love, but when you fight you wish that they would hurt just as badly as you do. When she saw him looking the way he did at this moment she really did want to end it for him. All the pain and suffering should just have been washed away and he wouldn't have to carry the burden at all.
If his dying was the only way that she could do that then she'd gladly take that option into consideration. Although she'd never do it. She was too selfish to let him go. Not now not ever. She wasn't done saving him.
Buffy slowly walked over to him, their faces mere inches apart. Spike took in a sharp intake of breath. He looked down at her with clouded eyes and just stared into her green ones. Slowly Buffy stepped forward closing the gap between them kissing him ever so lightly.
It wasn't anything like how they had kissed before. Mostly their kiss weren't at all gentle, but almost to the point where they were bruising. This kiss was soft and sweet something that shouldn't even be associated with the sick relationship they had. But right at that moment it didn't matter. All that matter was the feel of lips on lips.
Hands began to roam, but not in the frantic needy way that they usually did. Each caress was barely there. Spike's hands settled at Buffy's waist and drew her closer to him. Bodies against bodies, clothed flesh against clothed flesh. Both bodies humming with anticipation over the soon to be coupling. Buffy's singing that for once she would be able to show Spike how much she really did love him. Spike's humming at how close Buffy was to him.
Spike slightly pulled away from her resting his forehead on hers.
"That all you got." He said in mock taunting.
"No, I'll show you s'actly what else I got in store for you." Buffy said dragging him by the hand to the lower part of the crypt.
The one that housed the comfy bed that would be so much nicer then the floor. Spike followed as he was helplessly led down the ladder and over to the bed. The feeling that evaded his chest when he felt Buffy's gentleness with him unexplainable and definitely unknown to him. At least when he was with Buffy. The feeling was welcomed though. It left a warm fuzzy feeling that spread through him like wildfire. It made him feel alive.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Alive was something Buffy hadn't felt in awhile. Sure she felt some feeling when she was with Spike, but that feeling was nothing like the feeling she felt right now. This was new and went farther then anticipation. This was a soaring high through the mountains type of feeling. Like she was a bird and free to do whatever she pleased.
But what did it mean. Buffy lost all thought when Spike's arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in for another minding searing kiss. Gently and oh so slowly Spike set Buffy on the bed. He laid on top of her using his arms to keep from smothering her. He bent his head down and came in for another kiss.
The kisses were something that Buffy hadn't experienced in awhile. They were so gentle and passion filled. They were those kinda earth shattering who really cares if the apocalypse is on our hills as long as I stay here the world can cease to exist type of kisses.
She had only ever felt something this intense from a kiss when she was with Angel. Never had she felt anything like this with Riley. Panic started to rise in her chest as she realized what exactly she was feeling. Love. Plain simple love that consumed so deep you lost yourself in it. And for that moment it was okay. Wrong but okay.
Spike's hands made their way under Buffy's skin and Buffy shivered slightly at the feel of the cool experienced hands touching her hot skin. His hands ran over her body possessively and Buffy just let herself feel the feelings running through her body.
Such good amazing feelings that ran through her body just at the slightest touch of his hands. The hands of a man who had slaughtered half of Europe and had no regrets about it. This man with no soul to speak of yet he stuck around and helped out even after she was dead.
This man who really wasn't a man, but wanted nothing more then to be the kind of man that she would love. Though she could never bring herself to tell him that she believed that he could be a good man. That he could in fact be the kind of person she could turn to always.
That would mean that she would have to let the walls down. Something that she couldn't do. She had worked to hard to build those walls. They didn't have anything to do with him being a vampire or evil. Angel had been a vampire and even when he was evil she still loved him with all her heart because she knew he had potential.
Spike had that same kind of potential soul or no soul. No these walls were all about her and her heartache. She couldn't let anyone else in because it would all result in heartache and pain. Pain was not a friend to anyone and definitely not to the Slayer. She had run away from her duties because of it and she couldn't let that happen again.
Spike looked down into her face. He always let the love shine through into his eyes whenever Buffy was near. He didn't care about heartache although Buffy thought he should. He let his heart be out there so easily and broke when it was trampled on.
He had allowed himself to be broken in the name of love all the time. He was fearless when it came to things like that. Buffy admired that about him. No matter how many times he was trampled by love he never grew afraid of it. He was brave in so many ways that Buffy never could be and maybe she resented him a littler for it.
"Buffy, I love you." Spike said leaning his head down again for another kiss and Buffy was sure she could feel his love for her radiating into her soul burning her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wait stop!" Spike yelled frantically trying to push Buffy off of him after breaking their last kiss.
It was filled with too much emotion that made Spike doubt the little voice saying that everything was okay. No he wasn't ready for this.
"Spike whas' wrong?" Buffy asked genuine concern laced in her voice. She was still straddling his hips.
"Please. I have to go. This. . . I can't do this. Get off of me!" Spike yelled again still trying to pull Buffy off of him. He finally managed to push her off of him and he jumped off of the bed as if it were the pits of hell.
"Spike what the bloody hell is that matter wif' you?" Buffy asked pointedly staring at him as though he had done something totally absurd.
"This is what is the matter with me. You're trying to make this about love when it's about sex. Just about sex Buffy. Nothing more. That's all I want out of you. You know that right? You're just a convenient body to screw every once in awhile. I don't love you." Spike said more to himself then to Buffy. She just continued to stare at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Right Spike whatever you say." She said in a defeated voice.
"So you understand me then. This is about sex and nothing else. Just sex with no feelings or strings attached or anything like that." Spike looked at Buffy expectantly.
A mixture of emotions played on her face. It looked like she wanted to scream at him. Tell him he was stupid and kick his ass. Her face held anger towards him, but she looked like something else. She looked like a kicked puppy. Maybe he had pushed her over the edge one too many times now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike looked up at Buffy just standing there after telling him it was all about sex. Sure he knew that was how she wanted it. She never went a day without telling him so, but this time he really thought that maybe she would let him love her. He looked at her with his eyes filled with hurt and heartache. She finally succeeded in breaking him and not for the better.
"I can't do this anymore either. I can't just sit back and let you use me all the time and not say something about it. 'S killing me and I can't do it anymore, as I'm sure you can't either. I can't always be 'ere ta jus' sit back an' let you take over everything that is me. If 's all 'bout sex then you can go find it somewhere else. 'M leavin' Sunnyhell. This is it Buffy. I can't do this anymore. So jus' go." Spike said bowing his head down.
Buffy looked at him with puzzlement. He was actually going to leave. There was set determination in those eyes right before he looked down at what was so interesting in his hands.
Buffy could feel her chest heavy inside of her and she felt herself ready to collapse as the weight of what Spike was saying sunk in. he was leaving. For good this time. No coming back to kidnap Xander and Willow.
No coming back for a stupid Gem of Amara. No more trying to kill the Slayer or love her for that matter. Before he could see her cry she ran out of the crypt and back to her house. The cold night air whipping at her face and making her feel nauseous from it all. Spike was going to leave her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Spike got home he collapsed on his bed determined not to cry. Guys didn't cry and Slayers especially didn't cry. Buffy was nothing to him and he was determined to keep it that way. So she was going to leave. It didn't matter.
One less blood-sucking fiend to worry about and it took the temptation away. That was a good thing. It was all a good thing. Nothing bad was going to happen anymore. Everything would return to normal and no one would know the difference. Yeah things were going to be good now, Spike thought as he let himself fall into an uneasy sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Buffy's crypt was a mess. What did she care about all the trashed items thrown everywhere. What did she care about how messy something was when she was leaving soon. She would pack up the Desoto and be out of Sunnyhell for good. No more Slayer. No more rejection. No more hurt or heartache.
She was through with it. Time to pack up and start anew. Just get a good night's sleep and leave the next day. The sooner the better. Then she would be able to forget about the Slayer that always haunted her thoughts.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike took the top cap off of his stash of bourbon. He had already drunk his way through the scotch and the Jack D that he had at his little bar at the bottom of his soon to be ex-crypt. Leaving this little set up was going to be hard.
It was the perfect little place, but it was time to go. He had overstayed his welcome and completely trashed the place as it was. She could never love him and the sooner he got that the sooner he would be able to get on with his life without her. Just get some rest and then go. Go and never come back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well that certainly didn't play out like I thought it would. I thought you said that everything would work out." Maddy asked The Voice.
"Yes, you reassured me that things would go good. That didn't look good to me. It looked a little angst filled rather then hugs and cuddles. Wasn't it supposed to be about hugs and cuddles." Brian asked as he walked over to Maddy.
"No this is just the beginning. Because they neglected to let each other feel now the must face something that is beyond them." The voice said.
"Okay that was more then a little cryptic. What does it mean?" Maddy asked.
"Madeline have a little faith. Just watch as it happens." The voice said.
"Okay, but I don't think I like where this is going. I thought you said that in both realities the Vampire and the Slayer have to work as one in order to stop the apocalypse. If the vampire leaves then that won't happen. Isn't that what you say in your vision." Brian asked curiously.
They had been sent down to stop what was happening, not just sit back and let the same thing happen that would bring the world to it's knees.
"Yes that is what is what I saw." The voice said.
"Okay then why aren't we going down there and stopping it from happening." Maddy asked.
"Because Maddy. There is a plan that is forming. Don't worry. Things will work out fine. It should be fun to watch." The voice said.
"Okay he just said that something would be fun. Does he even know what fun is?" Brian asked Maddy.
"I don't think so." Maddy said equally as perplexed as Brian was.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer for drinks."
A/N: Okay so whattcha think. Good or no good. Stay or what the heck were you think when you posted this it sucks so badly there aren't any words for it and it makes Hoover look like a lower powered machine. Please review and I'm open to flamers if there are any. I don't really care as long as you review. If you want another chapter I need some inspiration. It's probably going to stay now that I started getting into it, but it's always in danger. So hurry up and review. Tell me what you think.