Disclaimer: No sadly I don't own them. Sure I own all the seasons of Buffy
on DVD that are out, but the characters are not mine. They belong to Joss
Whedon and company. The luckiest people in the world if you ask me.
Distribution: Sure go ahead ask first
A/N: Okay so here's a warning, this might be slightly confusing. Just try to remember what happened in the last chappy and just think that Spike and Buffy (the regular ones that are stuck in the human and vampire body) had that happen to them. I HOPE that it flows well. If it doesn't, well then just wait till the next chappy. The next two chappies will be in one dimension.
It just saves chapters and my fingers if we do it this way since everything is exactly the same. And shifting into dimensions every so often in chappies was getting a little confusing for me. So here you go. It you don't get it send a review saying what was confusing and I'll work on it.
Chapter 5:
Spike was walking in the sunlight. In direct sunlight and not burning. Sure the sun wasn't beating down hard on his like he would have liked, but it was good enough. Leaving the house was totally irresponsible, but hey he was an evil vampire for heaven sakes.
That Scooby Gang expected him to be the fearless leader they were used to and the feeling was almost drowning. Guilt and a certain sense of responsibility had flooded over him along with the feeling of despair and loneliness that was sure to come with it. A certain sense of dread that just couldn't be shaken off.
This morning he woke up in what looked like Buffy's room, but slightly more manly. He was wearing clothes that he wouldn't wear in a million years. Something akin to gray sweats and a big white shirt with socks. His closet was filled with light colored clothes and not his regular black ensembles that he was used to.
He had chosen easy simple clothes. A pair of loose fitting jeans and a green shirt. This guy really needed a lesson in shopping. He woke up in a place that was not his Sunnydale. All he wanted to do was get up, wait until the sun went down and get out of the Hellhole, but he was stuck now. Sure he said he would just take off, but how could he. This wasn't what he really wanted.
Sure as a vampire there were a few things he missed. The sun was one of them, but he loved being a vampire. Maybe he had a chip, but he had enough sense to enjoy his time as a vampire. Being a vampire was his destiny. This. . . being the leader and things just weren't him.
He just couldn't stand it right now. So here he stood or rather sat on one of the park benches soaking up the sun. It had to be at least three, but as a human he couldn't tell the time by the way things smelled anymore. He had only seen the park during the night and it was always dead and cold like the cemeteries.
During the day it was full and vibrant. Things were alive. Parents were playing happily with their children. Teenage kids were walking around with each other. Couples were walking hand in hand with each other. Yeah this is exactly why he'd go back later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So you really think he'll come back?" Dawn asked for the umpteenth time since she got home from school.
It was weird to see Dawn so worried about Spike. She acted like he was her brother, which in this universe he was. Buffy was just another helper in the fight against evil. The roles were reversed. Things were very different here.
"Yes, is Spike is anything it's predictable. He'll definitely come back here." Buffy said.
"Oh that's good. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back. I know this isn't our Spike, but it our Spike's body." Willow said.
"Yeah I guess it is. Everything's so different here. Spike, the one that's here, well he's not exactly used to responsibilities. He is a vampire you know." Buffy said.
"Yeah we got that part of this whole confusing thing. It's just so weird to see him act this way. I mean we know it's not him, but it looks like him. It looks like my best friend, but it isn't. It's some other guy who just happens to be him from another dimension and how confusing is this." Xander said.
"It is very confusing. All these different memories. They seem the same from what you've told us, only in reverse. It's lie down worthy." Willow said.
"I promise Spike will come back. He just has to get things in order." Buffy said
. "I still don't understand all this. How this could happen." Dawn said.
"It doesn't look like a spell. I can't feel that any spell was done. Spells generally leave a sort of residue." Tara said.
"I thought you could only see that if you did another spell. You know like the time I did it to see if my mom was getting sick because of Glory." Buffy said. Everyone looked at her strangely.
"Right Spike did that not me."
"Well you're right, but usually witches who are empathic can feel it as well. It's like a weird sensation, but it doesn't fell like there was a spell done. And also when Spike was first leaving there was a sudden jolt of something. Some sort of feeling that I can't really comprehend. It was like it was trying to force itself on him and he was making it leave. Like it wasn't really the Spike from your dimension that was feeling it, but the Spike from ours." Tara said.
"Okay I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'what?'" Xander said.
"It's fairly simple, honey. Spike the vampire is getting feelings from Spike the Slayer." Anya said.
"Yeah that sums it up in a few amount of words." Tara said.
"Happy to help." Anya said with a big grin on her face.
"Feelings. . . that's it. That creepy guy at my work. He said to just let the feeling rush over you. We have to find him." Buffy said.
"That's all we have to go on. Some creepy guy at your work. A work that happens to be in another dimension. Yeah that's really helpful." Xander spat.
"Xander, she's just trying to help." Dawn said.
"Yeah well it's not helping." Xander said.
"Yeah well yelling isn't going to help." Willow said.
"We need to remain calm." Tara said.
"I'm trying, but we're down a Slayer here." Xander said.
Buffy listened to the Scooby Gang argue and wondered if that's how the gang back at her dimension looked like when she wasn't around. No one listened to her. She was the Spike of this dimension. No one cared about her. Buffy felt a weird sensation pass through her body.
It was like a feeling of helplessness that seemed to be choking her even though she now didn't need to breath. It invaded her senses until all she could feel was that feeling. It was a mixture of sorts. Pain, anger, hostility, but also loneliness and worthlessness.
ike she had no place where she belonged. It was so strong and so heartbreaking. This was how this Buffy felt whenever she was around the Scooby Gang and they didn't listen to her and it was undoubtedly how Spike felt when he was placed in the same situation.
Buffy started coughing loudly and panicking. Nothing like this feeling had ever over taken her before. Her own feelings were strong, but it seemed like this was magnified.
"Buffy what's wrong." Tara asked softly.
"No, don't pretend like you care. You only use me for help." Buffy screamed.
"Is this our Buffy?" Xander asked.
"No I can still feel the other Buffy's presence, but like I said our Buffy's feelings are somehow making it through to her. Making her feel the pain that she goes through." Tara said.
"Is she doing it on purpose." Dawn asked.
"No, Dawnie it's most likely all part of the spell." Willow said.
"Buffy just calm down okay. The feeling will pass if you calm down." Tara said.
"How could you all be so mean? Making her feel like this. Oh it's so. . . painful." Buffy said not really listening to Tara's words.
"Buffy this is all part of something. If you just calm down maybe we can. . ." Willow began, but was cut of by Buffy's growl of pain.
She vamped. It was a weird feeling to vamp out. Buffy remembered doing so this morning, but that was out of sheer hunger. She thought back to the time when nightmares were running Sunnydale.
She hadn't exactly 'vamped' then either. It wasn't painful like she imagined it would be. It was more like blinking and not feeling any different. She wouldn't be able to tell right now that she had a vamp face if it weren't for that slight tingle she got when she first shifted.
"Oh god what's going on?" Dawn asked in a scared voice.
"It's so painful she's vamping out to trying and make the pain go away." Willow said.
"Don't worry Dawn she can't hurt us. Chip remember." Xander said. Buffy heard none of this.
She attacked anyway. She jumped at them only to fly back at the extreme pain in her head. Stupid chip.
"Okay, Buffy now that you got zapped, maybe you could calm down now." Xander said.
Buffy didn't change back nor did she stop growling.
"Or not your call."
"She's just reverting back to old vampire ways. Keeping herself safe, but I doubt the pain's gone. I can still feel something lingering." Tara said.
"How do we make it go away?" Willow asked.
"We don't. She has too." Tara said.
"No offence meant or anything, but how. She doesn't exactly look like the most stable vampire in the world and no way am I going near her." Anya said.
"I don't know. She has to figure that out." Tara said.
"All right look I'm not doing this because. . . what the bloody hell is going on here." Spike asked.
He had finally decided to stop delaying the inevitable and go back to Buffy's house. . . his house. It was well after dark and he figured he might as well go there then have them search for him. Buffy, being a vampire now would probably pick up on his scent. He wasn't prepared to see a growling vamp Buffy and awe struck Scooby Gang just staring at her.
"Well that's weird to hear." Dawn said.
"It's weird to say without the accent. Now what's going on here." Spike asked.
"Well we were just talking about possible ways to fix this mix up and Xander started getting all 'this isn't helping' on her and she freaked." Dawn said.
"She's not used to it. You're supposed to be her friends or at least that's how it is where we come from." Spike said.
"Sorry, man, it's just, you know after being so snide and mean to each other all these years, it's kind of hard to give up." Xander said in a friendly tone Spike wasn't used to.
"Yeah well what made her vamp out?" Spike asked.
"Well I guess the pain was too much to bear." Dawn said.
"Pain what pain?" Spike said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Okay that's new to." Xander said.
"Well Xander you got to figure that if Buffy and Spike were totally reversed then this Spike is in love with this Buffy." Dawn said.
"Okay I'll pretend to get that." Xander said.
"The pain from the feelings." Tara said ignoring Dawn and Xander after seeing the anxious look on Spike's face.
"Feelings?" Spike said still confused although his anger had gone down.
"Early when you took off, you felt some sort of feeling right?" Tara asked.
"Yeah it was a weird twinge in my chest and it sort of felt like. . . guilt." Spike said snorting after he said guilt.
"Well it would appear that you're picking up on some of the feelings that our Buffy and Spike feel everyday. I'm guessing it was something really big for her to start acting like. . . that." Tara said pointing to the still vamped still shaking Buffy.
"Wait you said Xander was telling her that she wasn't helping." Spike asked.
"Yup very helpful he was." Dawn said.
"Oh I know what it is." Spike said.
"Do we get the inside scoop." Willow asked.
"It was a feeling of worthlessness." Spike said.
"How could you possibly. . . oh right." Xander said.
"Wait she feels worthless. Our Buffy feels worthless. Because of us." Dawn asked.
"Oh not because of you bit. You're probably one of the only people that brighten up my. . . her day. It's sitting in on the Scooby meetings and having your ideas shoved in your face that'll do it." Spike said.
The Scoobies looked at one another with guilt on their faces. Even Xander felt a twinge of guilt at the description of what Buffy felt. Spike slowly walked over to Buffy.
"Pet, you gotta stop shaking, okay." Spike said in the most soothing voice he could conjure up.
Buffy looked up at him with her yellow eyes. She seemed to be looking to the side of him rather then right at him.
"Okay?" Spike asked again. He placed a hand on her arm and she stilled.
"Good that wasn't so hard. Now maybe it would be better if you got off of the floor." Spike said. Buffy shakily tried to pull herself up. She was weakened emotionally and physically.
"Here, let me help." Spike said pulling her up and letting her weight be supported on him.
"Okay that's better. Let's get you upstairs and into your. . . my cozy warm bed." Spike said.
He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to calling this house his. Buffy moved forward on shaky legs. They walked up the stairs and to Spike's room.
Spike gently placed Buffy on the bed and as soon as he let go of her she fell asleep. Spike took that opportunity to give the room a quick once over. It didn't look like anything he would ever live in. It was a green color without a trace of black anywhere. There were a few posters of various bands that Spike knew the names of.
The bed was a blue color and that stuffed pig that Buffy had was propped up on one of the pillows. Someone had made the bed while he was out. A radio and CD collection sat in on of the corners of the room. Spike looked over the CD's. Some were things he would think of having, but others were totally not him. There was a New Found Glory CD in there for heaven's sake.
At least the guy was into rock and not sissy pop or rap. He'd have to put the guy out of his misery if that was the case. The desk was pretty bare save for a few pictures. Pictures of him and Dawn and of him and Joyce and the one picture that looked so much like the picture of Buffy and the Scoobies that she had in her room. There wasn't a mirror in the room.
Spike opened one of the drawers. Stakes, crosses, and Holy water were the occupants of the first drawer. The other drawers were almost bare except for the papers and yearbooks. There was a least one stake in each drawer.
"Boy you over did it a little too much." Spike muttered.
On the floor clothes were strewn everywhere and there was occasional empty Twinkie or Ho-Ho wrapper.
"You're a bit of a slob, too." Spike walked over to the closet.
Plain clothes stood on hangers. Nothing special or outlandish about them. There were a few black items, but mostly blues and greens. His Doublemeat uniform stood in the back with various jackets.
"Well at least you don't dress like, Harris. And your shoes are okay." Spike mumbled picking up a pair of converse high-tops. Spike walked over to the nightstand. On it sat a clock and a small light. It was the only black piece of furniture that stood in the room.
The bookcase was right next to the closet. There were more pictures on it and various papers. There were a lot of books. Books galore. Some were stupid comic books or just the occasional easy fun book. The rest. . . well they were slightly more intellectual. Spike recognized all of the titles. One book was slightly pulled out like the person who had been looking at it had just lightly pushed it back in.
"Catcher and the Rye. Huh." Spike said.
The book was worn. Like it had been read over and over again. Like it was the favorite. Over all the poetry, Harry Potter, James Patterson's, mystery, and the occasional comic book and sci-fi junk it was the most revered. It was the one he must have liked above all.
"Kid has good taste." Spike said.
There were two drawers in the nightstand. In the first drawer there were a few, of what this Spike would consider, valuable items. His high school diploma, which was a little burnt, was stashed away in a neat little corner. Letters were strewn inside the drawer. Mostly bills, but at the bottom there were some from 'his dad' and others from various friends and relatives.
The second drawer was a bit more full. Aside from the candy and assorted junk food, there were drawings and what appeared to be poems. Very good poems.
"So the nancy boy writes, and pretty good." Spike mumbled.
There were short stories and there appeared to be a lot of novel sized ones. All left unfinished. There was a leather bound book in the far corner. Spike flipped through the pages. It appeared to be a diary. It ended somewhere around the time he came to Sunnydale.
Spike neatly closed the book, placed it back in the drawer, and closed the drawer. He stood up and gave on final look at the room. It all seemed so human. Like a very boring, very normal twenty-something kid lived there. Well maybe not normal after looking in the small arsenal in the drawers, but from a quick glance it would appear normal enough.
"Weird isn't it." Spike looked over at the doorway.
Tara was standing there just looking from him to Buffy.
"Were you staring?" Spike asked feeling a bit embarrassed for snooping around in other people's things.
The feeling passed as he realized how ridiculous that was. Technically this was his stuff and he was a vampire what did he care if he was looking through other people's things.
"I've only been here for a minute. It's really weird isn't. To see your face in one of the pictures over there and know that somewhere else there's an exact same picture, but with someone else's face. That this room belongs to someone else, but it looks like it would be yours." Tara said.
"Well this Spike has to take a lesson in taste before I could call it anything I would live in." Spike said.
"Still it's weird to be caught in another dimension where nothings the same. I wonder how Buffy and Spike, the ones from here, or doing where you came from." Tara said.
"Probably not that much better then us. There are differences though so we can't be sure what's happening." Spike said.
"Yeah, I just hope they're okay. I mean the mass confusion alone is bound to make anyone go crazy." Tara said.
A silence fell over Tara and Spike.
"You know I know." Tara said in a soft voice.
"I figured you did. I mean from my dimension the birthday fiasco. Muscle cramp in my pants and all that." Spike said.
"Oh, yeah, confused for a second then I remembered that everything is all backwards where you come from. You told me about you two." Tara said.
"That means Buffy told the other about us as well. Never thought she'd have the guts to do that. I'm her little secret you know."
"And she's yours. I mean here anyway."
"Yeah I guess so. You know I just don't get it. I try to do everything I can to be the right person for her, but it's never enough."
"Well maybe that's because she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. She wants to admit that she feels something for you, but she's got people to think about."
Spike started pacing around the room.
"Why does she care? I try to see it and I still don't get it. If her friends are really her friends then why shouldn't they be happy if she's happy? Because they've created this image of her that she feels she has to live up to. A slayer isn't supposed to have friends or ties anyway. She's only obligated to two people: herself and Dawn." Spike said.
"Maybe that's why you've been switched and have the other Spike's feelings. He knows what your Buffy's going through. Maybe it has something to do with showing you why Buffy can't let herself admit how she feels." Tara said as though she were having an epiphany. Spike looked at her seriously.
"You think so. I mean could that be why we're trapped here?" Spike asked with hopeful eyes.
"Maybe. Maybe you guys have to do something big, but you can't do that if you're separated and fighting. So this wouldn't be a spell some witch cast on you and I wouldn't be able to feel the spell residue. Some higher power would have to have enough magic to pull this off and make it totally undetectable." Tara said.
"So what I'm just supposed to go through the feelings and go day by day trying to understand what Buffy goes through, while she what, sits around watching TV." Spike asked.
"Spike I really don't think that she'll be having a picnic. She can obviously feel the pain of the other Buffy so she's here to understand how you feel. Go through the things that you have to go through daily."
" Yeah well to her that would be a walk through the park."
"I don't think so. We got a taste of what exactly it would be like for her. She couldn't even take the pain. She had to revert to vampire form. She'll probably have some difficulties in the vampire department. You'll have to help her with that." Tara said.
"Yeah I guess I will. This is going to be a very long trip." Spike said with a sigh.
"Yeah well the sooner you guys figure out what the heck is keeping you here, you'll overcome it and be able to go back home."
"Yeah to an empty crypt and some old animal blood. Oh joy."
"It' can't be all that bad." Tara said.
"I was going to leave because of it. The whole being used thing doesn't sit well with me anymore."
"Well maybe she'll see the error of her ways and then you won't have a reason to leave." Tara said optimistically.
"You know that's what I always liked about you, Glenda." Spike said looking over at the witch sitting next to him.
"What?"
"Oh just the fact that you can be upbeat and cheery no matter what the situation is. I guess the Scooby Gang here didn't change much. Harris is still a jackass. Anya seems to be her ex-vengeance demon self. Willow's got that peppy research will solve all problems attitude. Dawn's still an innocent teenager and you, well you're the most together of the bunch."
"Thanks I'll take that as a compliment."
A/N: Okay so whatcha think? Come on you know you wanna review. You don't get to have another chapter if you don't. Yes technically I can do that. So come one review for another chapter. You know you wanna. 'Cause you know what to do-ou. Okay so that was weird. I have that new Outkast song stuck in my head. That Shake it like a Polaroid picture. It won't go away. Maybe some Red Hot Chili Peppers will make it go away. I don't know why KROQ plays that song. Anyhoo getting back to reviewing. Do it because it's the right thing to do, that is if you want more.
Distribution: Sure go ahead ask first
A/N: Okay so here's a warning, this might be slightly confusing. Just try to remember what happened in the last chappy and just think that Spike and Buffy (the regular ones that are stuck in the human and vampire body) had that happen to them. I HOPE that it flows well. If it doesn't, well then just wait till the next chappy. The next two chappies will be in one dimension.
It just saves chapters and my fingers if we do it this way since everything is exactly the same. And shifting into dimensions every so often in chappies was getting a little confusing for me. So here you go. It you don't get it send a review saying what was confusing and I'll work on it.
Chapter 5:
Spike was walking in the sunlight. In direct sunlight and not burning. Sure the sun wasn't beating down hard on his like he would have liked, but it was good enough. Leaving the house was totally irresponsible, but hey he was an evil vampire for heaven sakes.
That Scooby Gang expected him to be the fearless leader they were used to and the feeling was almost drowning. Guilt and a certain sense of responsibility had flooded over him along with the feeling of despair and loneliness that was sure to come with it. A certain sense of dread that just couldn't be shaken off.
This morning he woke up in what looked like Buffy's room, but slightly more manly. He was wearing clothes that he wouldn't wear in a million years. Something akin to gray sweats and a big white shirt with socks. His closet was filled with light colored clothes and not his regular black ensembles that he was used to.
He had chosen easy simple clothes. A pair of loose fitting jeans and a green shirt. This guy really needed a lesson in shopping. He woke up in a place that was not his Sunnydale. All he wanted to do was get up, wait until the sun went down and get out of the Hellhole, but he was stuck now. Sure he said he would just take off, but how could he. This wasn't what he really wanted.
Sure as a vampire there were a few things he missed. The sun was one of them, but he loved being a vampire. Maybe he had a chip, but he had enough sense to enjoy his time as a vampire. Being a vampire was his destiny. This. . . being the leader and things just weren't him.
He just couldn't stand it right now. So here he stood or rather sat on one of the park benches soaking up the sun. It had to be at least three, but as a human he couldn't tell the time by the way things smelled anymore. He had only seen the park during the night and it was always dead and cold like the cemeteries.
During the day it was full and vibrant. Things were alive. Parents were playing happily with their children. Teenage kids were walking around with each other. Couples were walking hand in hand with each other. Yeah this is exactly why he'd go back later.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"So you really think he'll come back?" Dawn asked for the umpteenth time since she got home from school.
It was weird to see Dawn so worried about Spike. She acted like he was her brother, which in this universe he was. Buffy was just another helper in the fight against evil. The roles were reversed. Things were very different here.
"Yes, is Spike is anything it's predictable. He'll definitely come back here." Buffy said.
"Oh that's good. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back. I know this isn't our Spike, but it our Spike's body." Willow said.
"Yeah I guess it is. Everything's so different here. Spike, the one that's here, well he's not exactly used to responsibilities. He is a vampire you know." Buffy said.
"Yeah we got that part of this whole confusing thing. It's just so weird to see him act this way. I mean we know it's not him, but it looks like him. It looks like my best friend, but it isn't. It's some other guy who just happens to be him from another dimension and how confusing is this." Xander said.
"It is very confusing. All these different memories. They seem the same from what you've told us, only in reverse. It's lie down worthy." Willow said.
"I promise Spike will come back. He just has to get things in order." Buffy said
. "I still don't understand all this. How this could happen." Dawn said.
"It doesn't look like a spell. I can't feel that any spell was done. Spells generally leave a sort of residue." Tara said.
"I thought you could only see that if you did another spell. You know like the time I did it to see if my mom was getting sick because of Glory." Buffy said. Everyone looked at her strangely.
"Right Spike did that not me."
"Well you're right, but usually witches who are empathic can feel it as well. It's like a weird sensation, but it doesn't fell like there was a spell done. And also when Spike was first leaving there was a sudden jolt of something. Some sort of feeling that I can't really comprehend. It was like it was trying to force itself on him and he was making it leave. Like it wasn't really the Spike from your dimension that was feeling it, but the Spike from ours." Tara said.
"Okay I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'what?'" Xander said.
"It's fairly simple, honey. Spike the vampire is getting feelings from Spike the Slayer." Anya said.
"Yeah that sums it up in a few amount of words." Tara said.
"Happy to help." Anya said with a big grin on her face.
"Feelings. . . that's it. That creepy guy at my work. He said to just let the feeling rush over you. We have to find him." Buffy said.
"That's all we have to go on. Some creepy guy at your work. A work that happens to be in another dimension. Yeah that's really helpful." Xander spat.
"Xander, she's just trying to help." Dawn said.
"Yeah well it's not helping." Xander said.
"Yeah well yelling isn't going to help." Willow said.
"We need to remain calm." Tara said.
"I'm trying, but we're down a Slayer here." Xander said.
Buffy listened to the Scooby Gang argue and wondered if that's how the gang back at her dimension looked like when she wasn't around. No one listened to her. She was the Spike of this dimension. No one cared about her. Buffy felt a weird sensation pass through her body.
It was like a feeling of helplessness that seemed to be choking her even though she now didn't need to breath. It invaded her senses until all she could feel was that feeling. It was a mixture of sorts. Pain, anger, hostility, but also loneliness and worthlessness.
ike she had no place where she belonged. It was so strong and so heartbreaking. This was how this Buffy felt whenever she was around the Scooby Gang and they didn't listen to her and it was undoubtedly how Spike felt when he was placed in the same situation.
Buffy started coughing loudly and panicking. Nothing like this feeling had ever over taken her before. Her own feelings were strong, but it seemed like this was magnified.
"Buffy what's wrong." Tara asked softly.
"No, don't pretend like you care. You only use me for help." Buffy screamed.
"Is this our Buffy?" Xander asked.
"No I can still feel the other Buffy's presence, but like I said our Buffy's feelings are somehow making it through to her. Making her feel the pain that she goes through." Tara said.
"Is she doing it on purpose." Dawn asked.
"No, Dawnie it's most likely all part of the spell." Willow said.
"Buffy just calm down okay. The feeling will pass if you calm down." Tara said.
"How could you all be so mean? Making her feel like this. Oh it's so. . . painful." Buffy said not really listening to Tara's words.
"Buffy this is all part of something. If you just calm down maybe we can. . ." Willow began, but was cut of by Buffy's growl of pain.
She vamped. It was a weird feeling to vamp out. Buffy remembered doing so this morning, but that was out of sheer hunger. She thought back to the time when nightmares were running Sunnydale.
She hadn't exactly 'vamped' then either. It wasn't painful like she imagined it would be. It was more like blinking and not feeling any different. She wouldn't be able to tell right now that she had a vamp face if it weren't for that slight tingle she got when she first shifted.
"Oh god what's going on?" Dawn asked in a scared voice.
"It's so painful she's vamping out to trying and make the pain go away." Willow said.
"Don't worry Dawn she can't hurt us. Chip remember." Xander said. Buffy heard none of this.
She attacked anyway. She jumped at them only to fly back at the extreme pain in her head. Stupid chip.
"Okay, Buffy now that you got zapped, maybe you could calm down now." Xander said.
Buffy didn't change back nor did she stop growling.
"Or not your call."
"She's just reverting back to old vampire ways. Keeping herself safe, but I doubt the pain's gone. I can still feel something lingering." Tara said.
"How do we make it go away?" Willow asked.
"We don't. She has too." Tara said.
"No offence meant or anything, but how. She doesn't exactly look like the most stable vampire in the world and no way am I going near her." Anya said.
"I don't know. She has to figure that out." Tara said.
"All right look I'm not doing this because. . . what the bloody hell is going on here." Spike asked.
He had finally decided to stop delaying the inevitable and go back to Buffy's house. . . his house. It was well after dark and he figured he might as well go there then have them search for him. Buffy, being a vampire now would probably pick up on his scent. He wasn't prepared to see a growling vamp Buffy and awe struck Scooby Gang just staring at her.
"Well that's weird to hear." Dawn said.
"It's weird to say without the accent. Now what's going on here." Spike asked.
"Well we were just talking about possible ways to fix this mix up and Xander started getting all 'this isn't helping' on her and she freaked." Dawn said.
"She's not used to it. You're supposed to be her friends or at least that's how it is where we come from." Spike said.
"Sorry, man, it's just, you know after being so snide and mean to each other all these years, it's kind of hard to give up." Xander said in a friendly tone Spike wasn't used to.
"Yeah well what made her vamp out?" Spike asked.
"Well I guess the pain was too much to bear." Dawn said.
"Pain what pain?" Spike said with a hint of anger in his voice.
"Okay that's new to." Xander said.
"Well Xander you got to figure that if Buffy and Spike were totally reversed then this Spike is in love with this Buffy." Dawn said.
"Okay I'll pretend to get that." Xander said.
"The pain from the feelings." Tara said ignoring Dawn and Xander after seeing the anxious look on Spike's face.
"Feelings?" Spike said still confused although his anger had gone down.
"Early when you took off, you felt some sort of feeling right?" Tara asked.
"Yeah it was a weird twinge in my chest and it sort of felt like. . . guilt." Spike said snorting after he said guilt.
"Well it would appear that you're picking up on some of the feelings that our Buffy and Spike feel everyday. I'm guessing it was something really big for her to start acting like. . . that." Tara said pointing to the still vamped still shaking Buffy.
"Wait you said Xander was telling her that she wasn't helping." Spike asked.
"Yup very helpful he was." Dawn said.
"Oh I know what it is." Spike said.
"Do we get the inside scoop." Willow asked.
"It was a feeling of worthlessness." Spike said.
"How could you possibly. . . oh right." Xander said.
"Wait she feels worthless. Our Buffy feels worthless. Because of us." Dawn asked.
"Oh not because of you bit. You're probably one of the only people that brighten up my. . . her day. It's sitting in on the Scooby meetings and having your ideas shoved in your face that'll do it." Spike said.
The Scoobies looked at one another with guilt on their faces. Even Xander felt a twinge of guilt at the description of what Buffy felt. Spike slowly walked over to Buffy.
"Pet, you gotta stop shaking, okay." Spike said in the most soothing voice he could conjure up.
Buffy looked up at him with her yellow eyes. She seemed to be looking to the side of him rather then right at him.
"Okay?" Spike asked again. He placed a hand on her arm and she stilled.
"Good that wasn't so hard. Now maybe it would be better if you got off of the floor." Spike said. Buffy shakily tried to pull herself up. She was weakened emotionally and physically.
"Here, let me help." Spike said pulling her up and letting her weight be supported on him.
"Okay that's better. Let's get you upstairs and into your. . . my cozy warm bed." Spike said.
He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to calling this house his. Buffy moved forward on shaky legs. They walked up the stairs and to Spike's room.
Spike gently placed Buffy on the bed and as soon as he let go of her she fell asleep. Spike took that opportunity to give the room a quick once over. It didn't look like anything he would ever live in. It was a green color without a trace of black anywhere. There were a few posters of various bands that Spike knew the names of.
The bed was a blue color and that stuffed pig that Buffy had was propped up on one of the pillows. Someone had made the bed while he was out. A radio and CD collection sat in on of the corners of the room. Spike looked over the CD's. Some were things he would think of having, but others were totally not him. There was a New Found Glory CD in there for heaven's sake.
At least the guy was into rock and not sissy pop or rap. He'd have to put the guy out of his misery if that was the case. The desk was pretty bare save for a few pictures. Pictures of him and Dawn and of him and Joyce and the one picture that looked so much like the picture of Buffy and the Scoobies that she had in her room. There wasn't a mirror in the room.
Spike opened one of the drawers. Stakes, crosses, and Holy water were the occupants of the first drawer. The other drawers were almost bare except for the papers and yearbooks. There was a least one stake in each drawer.
"Boy you over did it a little too much." Spike muttered.
On the floor clothes were strewn everywhere and there was occasional empty Twinkie or Ho-Ho wrapper.
"You're a bit of a slob, too." Spike walked over to the closet.
Plain clothes stood on hangers. Nothing special or outlandish about them. There were a few black items, but mostly blues and greens. His Doublemeat uniform stood in the back with various jackets.
"Well at least you don't dress like, Harris. And your shoes are okay." Spike mumbled picking up a pair of converse high-tops. Spike walked over to the nightstand. On it sat a clock and a small light. It was the only black piece of furniture that stood in the room.
The bookcase was right next to the closet. There were more pictures on it and various papers. There were a lot of books. Books galore. Some were stupid comic books or just the occasional easy fun book. The rest. . . well they were slightly more intellectual. Spike recognized all of the titles. One book was slightly pulled out like the person who had been looking at it had just lightly pushed it back in.
"Catcher and the Rye. Huh." Spike said.
The book was worn. Like it had been read over and over again. Like it was the favorite. Over all the poetry, Harry Potter, James Patterson's, mystery, and the occasional comic book and sci-fi junk it was the most revered. It was the one he must have liked above all.
"Kid has good taste." Spike said.
There were two drawers in the nightstand. In the first drawer there were a few, of what this Spike would consider, valuable items. His high school diploma, which was a little burnt, was stashed away in a neat little corner. Letters were strewn inside the drawer. Mostly bills, but at the bottom there were some from 'his dad' and others from various friends and relatives.
The second drawer was a bit more full. Aside from the candy and assorted junk food, there were drawings and what appeared to be poems. Very good poems.
"So the nancy boy writes, and pretty good." Spike mumbled.
There were short stories and there appeared to be a lot of novel sized ones. All left unfinished. There was a leather bound book in the far corner. Spike flipped through the pages. It appeared to be a diary. It ended somewhere around the time he came to Sunnydale.
Spike neatly closed the book, placed it back in the drawer, and closed the drawer. He stood up and gave on final look at the room. It all seemed so human. Like a very boring, very normal twenty-something kid lived there. Well maybe not normal after looking in the small arsenal in the drawers, but from a quick glance it would appear normal enough.
"Weird isn't it." Spike looked over at the doorway.
Tara was standing there just looking from him to Buffy.
"Were you staring?" Spike asked feeling a bit embarrassed for snooping around in other people's things.
The feeling passed as he realized how ridiculous that was. Technically this was his stuff and he was a vampire what did he care if he was looking through other people's things.
"I've only been here for a minute. It's really weird isn't. To see your face in one of the pictures over there and know that somewhere else there's an exact same picture, but with someone else's face. That this room belongs to someone else, but it looks like it would be yours." Tara said.
"Well this Spike has to take a lesson in taste before I could call it anything I would live in." Spike said.
"Still it's weird to be caught in another dimension where nothings the same. I wonder how Buffy and Spike, the ones from here, or doing where you came from." Tara said.
"Probably not that much better then us. There are differences though so we can't be sure what's happening." Spike said.
"Yeah, I just hope they're okay. I mean the mass confusion alone is bound to make anyone go crazy." Tara said.
A silence fell over Tara and Spike.
"You know I know." Tara said in a soft voice.
"I figured you did. I mean from my dimension the birthday fiasco. Muscle cramp in my pants and all that." Spike said.
"Oh, yeah, confused for a second then I remembered that everything is all backwards where you come from. You told me about you two." Tara said.
"That means Buffy told the other about us as well. Never thought she'd have the guts to do that. I'm her little secret you know."
"And she's yours. I mean here anyway."
"Yeah I guess so. You know I just don't get it. I try to do everything I can to be the right person for her, but it's never enough."
"Well maybe that's because she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. She wants to admit that she feels something for you, but she's got people to think about."
Spike started pacing around the room.
"Why does she care? I try to see it and I still don't get it. If her friends are really her friends then why shouldn't they be happy if she's happy? Because they've created this image of her that she feels she has to live up to. A slayer isn't supposed to have friends or ties anyway. She's only obligated to two people: herself and Dawn." Spike said.
"Maybe that's why you've been switched and have the other Spike's feelings. He knows what your Buffy's going through. Maybe it has something to do with showing you why Buffy can't let herself admit how she feels." Tara said as though she were having an epiphany. Spike looked at her seriously.
"You think so. I mean could that be why we're trapped here?" Spike asked with hopeful eyes.
"Maybe. Maybe you guys have to do something big, but you can't do that if you're separated and fighting. So this wouldn't be a spell some witch cast on you and I wouldn't be able to feel the spell residue. Some higher power would have to have enough magic to pull this off and make it totally undetectable." Tara said.
"So what I'm just supposed to go through the feelings and go day by day trying to understand what Buffy goes through, while she what, sits around watching TV." Spike asked.
"Spike I really don't think that she'll be having a picnic. She can obviously feel the pain of the other Buffy so she's here to understand how you feel. Go through the things that you have to go through daily."
" Yeah well to her that would be a walk through the park."
"I don't think so. We got a taste of what exactly it would be like for her. She couldn't even take the pain. She had to revert to vampire form. She'll probably have some difficulties in the vampire department. You'll have to help her with that." Tara said.
"Yeah I guess I will. This is going to be a very long trip." Spike said with a sigh.
"Yeah well the sooner you guys figure out what the heck is keeping you here, you'll overcome it and be able to go back home."
"Yeah to an empty crypt and some old animal blood. Oh joy."
"It' can't be all that bad." Tara said.
"I was going to leave because of it. The whole being used thing doesn't sit well with me anymore."
"Well maybe she'll see the error of her ways and then you won't have a reason to leave." Tara said optimistically.
"You know that's what I always liked about you, Glenda." Spike said looking over at the witch sitting next to him.
"What?"
"Oh just the fact that you can be upbeat and cheery no matter what the situation is. I guess the Scooby Gang here didn't change much. Harris is still a jackass. Anya seems to be her ex-vengeance demon self. Willow's got that peppy research will solve all problems attitude. Dawn's still an innocent teenager and you, well you're the most together of the bunch."
"Thanks I'll take that as a compliment."
A/N: Okay so whatcha think? Come on you know you wanna review. You don't get to have another chapter if you don't. Yes technically I can do that. So come one review for another chapter. You know you wanna. 'Cause you know what to do-ou. Okay so that was weird. I have that new Outkast song stuck in my head. That Shake it like a Polaroid picture. It won't go away. Maybe some Red Hot Chili Peppers will make it go away. I don't know why KROQ plays that song. Anyhoo getting back to reviewing. Do it because it's the right thing to do, that is if you want more.