A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers. Keep it up I LOVE getting feedback.
Chapter 7:
It was pure evil. The purest of all evils. The biggest evil he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Hand him stupid fledgings and big ass demons any day over this. This was horrific. The odor it produced was enough to knock three grown men to their feet keeled over dead.
The color was just blinding. So orange and yellow like it was meant to flash around shocking people as it went along. The sheer horror it produced was enough to scare even Spike. And that funny looking hat didn't help matters.
Spike looked at the Doublemeat Hell uniform as if it were some offensive demon.
"You really should be getting ready for work." Buffy said watching as Spike looked at the uniform from all angles.
"Yeah I know, just give me a sec." Spike said still studying the uniform.
"Looking at it isn't going to make it disappear." Buffy said with an amused tone in her voice.
She couldn't help, but feel a little gleeful at the thought of Spike having to work instead of her.
"I just hope you don't get this Spike fired from his job. Come to think of it I hope the other Buffy doesn't get me fired from my job." Buffy said.
"I'm glad you find amusement in this, pet, but I don't necessarily think its all that laugh worthy." Spike said picking up the shirt and holding it at arms length to put it under further inspection.
"What's up with the stripes? This pylon thing isn't working for me. You do it." Spike said shoving the uniform into Buffy's hands.
"Would, but a have a slight case of flammability to the sun."
"You're very calm for someone who is recently sort of vamped."
"Well I figure make the best of the situation."
"How? We're stuck in an alternate dimension where things are totally reversed and I have to work." Spike said in a whiney voice.
"Well I don't have to work and aside from the residual feelings I have every thing easy."
"Say that with a little more gusto, pet. Maybe it'll be true." Spike muttered.
"'Kay I have every thing easy. In fact I think it's better then easy. I have vampire powers. How cool is that? Okay so maybe not cool, but I can hear people when they're talking really low like you just did. And don't say your British slang words. They don't sound right without your accent."
"Isn't that just dandy." Spike said spotting the small blue nametag during his inspection.
He held the tag closer to him.
"William?" Spike said questioningly scrunching his nose up in distaste for the name.
"Uh, yeah, it's kind of your real name Spike." Buffy said in the best 'duh' voice she could pull off in the rather hoarse throaty sounding voice she had.
"I know that. Why is it so small? And why is it William. Least it could've been is Will or maybe even Spike. Shoot at this point I'd settle for Jim Bob." Spike said.
"You don't look like a Jim Bob, Spike. Don't think you could pull off Jim Bob. And what are you talking about, small? It's seems normal size to me." Buffy said.
"Must be my eyes then."
"What you need glasses?" Buffy said flippantly.
On Spike's nervous, jittery silence she took that as a yes.
"Oh my God. You need glasses." Buffy said bouncing up and down at the new information.
"Yes okay, when I was human I wore glasses. What of it." Spike said as snidely as he could, but came out with less bark then it should have come out with.
It was like this body just wouldn't allow you to get mad.
"I just think its funny is all. I mean add the glasses with the two tone hair thing you got going on and those clothes on your floor and you fit right in with the classic nerd." Buffy said.
"My clothes aren't nerdy. Maybe the glasses, but they're just reading glasses. Besides you're one to talk. What's with the long brown hair?"
"Oh God, my hair's brown?"
"Uh, yeah haven't you seen it?" Spike asked in a tone he would later stake himself for.
Stupid Southern Californians and their chipper perky accents.
"Kind of hard to do without a reflection. I just assumed it was blonde. This is just great. Does it look horrible?"
"You're asking me. Personally I like the blonde better, but you're not a natural blonde so there you go." Spike said.
"Well I guess we all have flaws. You with your glasses and me with this brown hair. It's time to make the best of this situation. Now get dressed for work. Wouldn't wanna be late and piss off the boss." Buffy said getting ready to leave the room.
"Is this the same Buffy that was all broody and giving my grandsire a run for his money?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, but for the first time in awhile I'm free. It's like when I was invisible, only I can't go out in the sun. I wonder which soap opera I'll watch first." Buffy said bouncing out of the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This can't be happening. Spike thought for the umpteenth time. The Powers that Be picked a perfect day for him to be going to work. He was working the grill. Not being one for grills he had to ask the scary, creepy, smelly guy who talked about grease getting caught in your nostrils for help.
The guy looked at him strangely as if he were the smelly one and then proceeded to show Spike how to work the grill. Then the manager, Lori or something got on his ass for not being there yesterday and told him he was working a double shift, which included him working the counter. Yup, life couldn't get worse.
"Hi I'm William. Welcome to the Doublemeat Palace. What can I do for you today?" Spike said through gritted teeth repeating the little piece he found written on a scratch piece of paper in his locker.
"One Doublemeat Medley please." The man said
"For here or to go?" Spike asked laying on the fake cheeriness.
"To go." the man said.
Spike squinted down at the small buttons that held small icons of food and tiny letters.
"Will, shouldn't you be wearing your glasses when working the register." One of the Doublemeat employees said to Spike.
Spike had already established that he didn't like the guy earlier this morning when he snickered at Spike's grilling ability and took it upon himself to try and teach Spike a more effective way to grill.
"Yeah, but I just can't seem to find them. . . Lennie." Spike said.
"Don't you usually keep them in your locker?" Lennie said with a fake- questioning look.
"Yeah, but it seems I lost them somewhere. It's okay." Spike said looking back down at the buttons and pressing the right one.
"That'll be $2.25." Spike said.
The man handed him three-dollar bills and Spike made the change.
"Your order is number 25." Spike said handing the man a large cup.
"Next customer please." Spike said not looking up from the cash register.
"Hey, man. You don't look so good." Spike looked up to see Xander standing in front of him in his construction worker clothes and hard hat.
"This coming from the village people cast off." Spike said.
"Hey no need to get all snide on me. Merely stating the obvious. So your day's been that hell filled, huh." Xander said.
"I've never worked an honest day in my life. Even before when I was human I was fairly rich. All I had to do was balance the books and stupid shit like that. Always drinking tea, eating crumpets and playing croquet. Never have I ever had to really work. Well unless you count killing, but that's different." Spike said in a somewhat hushed tone.
"Okay that was weird. I keep forgetting that you're not the same Will I grew up with. It's an odd thing to hear you talk about killing people. Vampires and demons, maybe, but people are a whole different thing." Xander said.
"It doesn't sound all that menacing in this voice or this body. What is up with my hair? He can't decide a color so he goes with both. Pick one. Brown or blonde. Choose already." Spike said.
"I think he does that on purpose. Never asked. Personally I stick with not dying my hair at all. Easier that way." Xander said.
"So are you going to order something or not. That Lennie guy has been on my ass and so has my manager. Don't want to get the poor sap fired from his job." Spike said.
"Sure why not. How about you just get me a large drink. Got my lunch packed and everything. Just thought I'd see if you were on a lunch break." Xander said.
"Why?" Spike asked questioningly.
"Because I thought I'd eat with you. The site's right down the street." Xander said slightly confused.
"Again I ask why?" Spike asked.
"Because you're my friend and I thought you'd be lonely eating alone." Xander said as if he were talking to a two-year-old.
"You know I'm not your friend. We aren't friends where I come from so excuse me if I'm a little thrown by this lunch invite." Spike said.
"Right I keep forgetting. You know it's okay if you don't want to have lunch. I just thought I'd tell you that since the wedding's in two weeks and I'm not sure if the Spike that's supposed to be here will be back or not that you know, you'll have to step in." Xander said.
"Wait, step in as what? I thought I was already doing my part being an usher." Spike asked.
"My best man." Xander said.
"I thought Red was your best man?" Spike asked.
"Um, I picked you over her. She's going to be Anya's maid of honor." Xander said.
"Well then Buffy and I'll just have to figure this out before then. That way you're wedding won't be ruined." Spike said.
"Yeah although I think I like a Buffy who's willing to be in the wedding rather then one who isn't." Xander said.
"Buffy's in the wedding too?" Spike asked.
"Yeah to even out the ratio."
"Right of course. Same reason I'm in the wedding back. . . where I come from."
"Well let's just hope you guys can figure it out before two weeks. It would be nice to have my friend back for my wedding." Xander said.
"Okay well I'll work on that." Spike said pressing a few buttons and then handing Xander a cup.
Xander dug in his pocket for some change when Spike said, "It's on the house. Just one drink. Better hurry up and get back to the construction site." Spike said.
"Sure okay. Positive you don't want any company?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This wasn't what Buffy had in mind for a restful day at home. After two hours of sitting in front of the TV and two bags of blood later she was bored out of her mind and there was nothing she could do about it. The thought of sneaking into Dawn's room had appealed to her, but then she realized how childish that was.
The thought of checking out what this Spike lived like had too popped into her head but hadn't stayed there that long. He lived like a slob. Total and utter chaos. The room looked like a big tornado hit it. No, it would be too much work to look through that and find out information.
She was feeling worthless without the other Buffy's help. What purpose did she have, but to sit in front of the TV and drink blood all day? There was absolutely nothing for her to do. All these years Buffy had a purpose and now she had nothing.
She didn't have a purpose she had a sofa and a TV playing ridiculous soap operas and the birds that were chirping way too damn loud for anyone's liking. Or maybe that was just the super advanced vampire hearing. Everyone was doing something and she was beginning to feel how crushing being free could actually be.
"This is stupid. There's nothing on TV and I just have to sit here. Maybe Spike was right. Maybe we should really be focusing on how to go back home." Buffy muttered as she changed the TV.
"Buffy where are you?" Buffy turned her head to the door and saw as Willow walked through it.
"Hey, Wills. I'm in the living room." Buffy said.
"Oh." Willow said walking into the living room.
"Thank god you're here." Buffy said.
Willow gave her a weird look then said, "Oh right, different Buffy. So how has your day been."
"Oh just ever so boring. If this is what it means to be a vampire I think I'm going to pull a Dorothy and say 'There's no Place Like Home.'" Buffy said.
"Well technically regular vampires would be out. . . sleeping and later causing mayhem. Because you're all Chips Ahoy you're not out commanding minions." Willow said.
"I guess you're right. I mean I knew that Spike, from my reality, was chipped and all, I just never knew what that meant. And these damn vampire senses are going haywire. I mean I can literally hear the neighbor's two houses away arguing about that mysterious stain of lipstick on his shirt. He's not very good at defending himself." Buffy said.
"Yeah I was kind of wondering when she'd catch on to his cheating. He's been coming in at two in the morning every night for the past month. Anyway, I was thinking about how we can fix this and maybe we could call on a higher power to ask if they know anything about this." Willow said.
"That's a lot of magic isn't it?" Buffy asked.
"Well, it's pretty big, but I think with my help Tara could pull it off."
Buffy nodded. "Don't want you to fall off the wagon just because I need a little magical assistance. So we just call on this higher power and ask it questions?"
"No, it's a little harder then that. It appears that if you call the power you have to have a champion present to fight some big fight. It's risky at best and if you want to not get your head cut off then you have to win." Willow said.
"Okay not that I'm not okay with the head chopping off of my head, but maybe there's a less violent approach." Buffy said.
"I'm still looking through the text. Anya's at the Magic Box helping out too. We should, maybe, be able to come up with something different, but maybe not. If this is our only hope. . ."
"Then we take it I know. It's just where do you go about finding a champion?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And that's why our system of checks and balances is so wrong. It's outdated. The government should really put a new system in place." Lennie said as he hovered over Spike's shoulder.
It was only two more hours until he was out of this dump. Part of his mind said he'd go home, take a nice long shower, and fall right to sleep in that nice warm comfortable bed. The other part said he should really go out and kill something before plopping onto that messy bed that belonged to him in this dimension.
"It's like America is totally disregarding everything John Locke wrote about. Not that I'm saying we need an overthrow of government, but someone needs to be looking out for the little guy. Get what I mean?"
Spike looked over and gave him a tense smile.
"And it's not just the fundamentals. It would be easy if it was, but this goes deep. Bureaucrats still exist my friend and politicians love to eat out of there hands. The president tries to pretend that it's all just a big conspiracy, but anyone with eyes could see the difference." Lennie said.
"You're really into this cause thing aren't you." Spike commented.
"Oh is it boring you. I'm sorry it's just ever since I've been taking this economic and government class I've been all Mister Government. You know talking off anyone's ear about the basics of our society and the ever rising of communism. Sorry if it offends you." Lennie said.
A confused look passed over Spike's face. He wasn't sure whether to be outraged by the comment or to brush it off completely. Spike knew more history then the kid could ever know. He was alive during the Industrial revolution and the up rise of communism in Germany. Hell he had even met Mussolini and almost got to meet Hitler.
He was over a hundred and twenty years old. He knew his history. He had majored in History and English when he was in Oxford. Part of him told him to creep down and just forget about it though. That was the part of the Spike from this dimension. Not really secure in his ability to outsmart people. He'd rather just dunk down and hope he wasn't seen.
"Oh it's not that it's just well you're so enthused by government. Of course, I personally, have more of an English thinking stand point." Spike said watching as the boy's face contorted in confusion.
"You're English. I didn't know you came from Britain?" Lennie said thoroughly confused.
"I don't, but I have a. . . friend a few actually that are from Britain. I guess the thinking structure rubbed off on me." Spike said.
"Really so you think there should be a monarch or something?" Lennie said stifling his laughter.
"Oh, no, never was much for the queen. Parliament regulates everything over there anyway. No, I think that the government we have now is a good one." Spike said.
"So what's your stand point then?" Lennie asked.
"I guess I just feel that maybe, if everyone stopped arguing about the wrongs of government and feeling ready to revolt, they could see that what they have now is a pretty good set up. I mean we have all these rights activist, which are all well and good for things like animals and polluted sea water, but for humans after all this time is just ridiculous. I mean, and I've once argued this before, Americans went to America, revolted on British views from Enlightenment thinkers, conquered tons of lands killing thousands of 'Native Americans' to do it, and know you all feel bad on Thanksgiving for all the wrongs done to the 'Native American' race. It's silly. You came in, conquered, won and know you feel really bad about it. The whole system of thinking is ridiculous." Spike said.
"I guess, but what does that have to do with the wrongs in our government?" Lennie asked in that condescending tone he had perfected.
"Well, Americans use the ideas of Enlightenment thinkers and then raise them on a pedestal for all people to live by. You go telling other countries how to run themselves instead of fixing the problems at home. That's the real problem. Fix the internal before the external. If they aren't bothering us don't bother them. So what if they live under a different system then us. We aren't the world dominators. We don't own them. If you want to tell a country how to run themselves then conquer them. Don't sit in the sidelines waving a finger saying 'Do it 'Cause I Said so.'"
"So you're saying you support communism?" Lennie asked.
"The idea behind it was good enough. Crazy people like Hitler and Mussolini took it too far I'll give you that, but if a country wants to live under that rule, fine by me. Not my place to judge them." Spike said.
"So you totally disregard all the things the Enlightenment thinkers came up with?"
"No, they came up with some good ones."
"So you just don't believe in Machiavelli's three branches of government?"
"Montesquieu."
"What?"
"Montesquieu wrote the three branches of government. Machiavelli wrote The Prince."
"Oh yeah well." Lennie said as he stalked off back to his register. Spike smiled a triumphant smile.
Maybe this thing will be fun after all, Spike thought as he put the fries into the crisper.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well I didn't find anything else out. It seems this gladiator type is our best bet." Anya said.
"Right now anyway. We have plenty of chances to find something else." Willow said off of the sad look on Buffy's face.
"Well it's good that you're researching. That's a good thing." Buffy said twirling a lock of her brown hair.
"Yeah, but if only we had something more to go on. Now don't freak out on me again, but we have absolutely no solid information. I mean just look at your memories. If those are different then any information from your dimension leading up to the switch-a-roo could be different too." Xander said.
"Xander's right. Besides who knows if we're even supposed to interfere. I still think this has to do with just Buffy and Spike going through this thing." Tara said.
"So we just have to wait." Dawn said a little more sullenly then she hoped for.
She sounded downright sad at the idea of not having her brother anymore. Sure this Spike was nice enough, he reminded her of the Buffy that belonged in her dimension, but he wasn't her brother.
It was awkward that now Buffy was acting like her big sister, but it was to be expected considering in her dimension Buffy was her sister. Dawn just hoped that things would eventually go back to normal.
"Sorry Dawnie, but short of us finding a champion and using said champion to fight a war with some really big possibly demonic guy who would probably kick said champion's ass, we've got nothing." Willow said.
"Willow babble back in full force. It's been awhile." Buffy commented.
"Yeah, unde. . . Buffy's got a point. Nice to see some things returning to normal." Xander said.
Willow blushed nervously and dared a glance at Tara. Tara was smiling sweetly back at her.
"So as Willow explained in that really long sentence, we've got nothing, but we have a little something called optimism. We'll keep looking until our eyeballs pop out." Anya said with enthusiasm rarely seen when researching.
"Which might be soon if these books get any boring-er." Xander said.
"Well, we'll just have to pop them right back in." Willow said.
"Yeah shouldn't be too hard. I mean there's like six of us. Seven when Spike finally does get home. Why is he so late tonight." Dawn asked glancing at the time and seeing that it was almost eleven.
"He called bitching about having to work a double shift and if he didn't have the chip in his head then he'd kill his boss. Shouldn't bee back until midnight. You better get to bed Dawn." Buffy said not looking up from her book.
"Yeah I guess. Wait. . . Spike was complaining about his chip. He doesn't have a chip in this dimension." Dawn said.
"It's probably habit Dawn. You know he probably just doesn't want to get this Spike charged with murder and, as force of habit to explain his non- violent tendencies, he used the chip as an excuse." Tara said.
"Makes sense." Xander said.
"Besides you wouldn't want to have a mentally deranged chip free Spike. It's best he doesn't remember that he doesn't have the chip. He might go killing people." Buffy said.
"Or worse he'll start blaming his soul."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Just a few more minutes. Twenty at most. Only twenty minutes and you're out of this hellhole. You can actually go home to that nice warm bed you were thinking about earlier. Just a few more minutes. Spike thought as he helped the last few customers of the night.
The Doublemeat palace stayed open until midnight and the drive-thru was open until two. Spike didn't want to know what kind of people came to the drive-thru at one in the morning.
Mostly, right now, it was college students getting the munchies.
"Can I help the next in line please." Spike said. A tall brunette with blue eyes walked up. She had a big scar over her eye and wore all black. It reminded Spike of some sort of ninja. She was staring at him expectantly.
"Hi, I'm William, welcome to the Doublemeat Palace. What would you like this evening ma'am." Spike said in that fake cheery voice it had only taken him a day to get down. The brunette stared at him oddly.
"Will, it's me. Renee." She said with that same expectant look on her face.
"Um. . . okay Renee. What would you like?" Spike said.
"What is wrong with you? I come back to town and you act as if you don't know me." She said.
"Um. . . are you going to order something? I have customers." Spike said feeling very uncomfortable. He obviously didn't know who she was. She wasn't from his dimension.
"Will, stop acting like that. The Initiative needs your help." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"My help? Why do they need my help? And why would I help them?" Spike said forgetting where he was.
"Because you're the Slayer." She said in that same low tone.
"Am the what?"
"The Slayer."
"No I'm. . . oh, that's right."
A/N: Just so you know, the next chapter will definitely be in the regular dimension and Riley bashing will ensue. I was going to just not write "As You Were" but I decided I never give up the chance for a good Riley bashing. So there you have it. This was a fun chapter to write because it showed Spike doing well, while Buffy was feeling the burn of not having a purpose. Sorry if I got the name of the jerky guy who went to night school wrong. I couldn't remember his name. So let's everyone review. You want the next chapter you're going to have to review.
Chapter 7:
It was pure evil. The purest of all evils. The biggest evil he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Hand him stupid fledgings and big ass demons any day over this. This was horrific. The odor it produced was enough to knock three grown men to their feet keeled over dead.
The color was just blinding. So orange and yellow like it was meant to flash around shocking people as it went along. The sheer horror it produced was enough to scare even Spike. And that funny looking hat didn't help matters.
Spike looked at the Doublemeat Hell uniform as if it were some offensive demon.
"You really should be getting ready for work." Buffy said watching as Spike looked at the uniform from all angles.
"Yeah I know, just give me a sec." Spike said still studying the uniform.
"Looking at it isn't going to make it disappear." Buffy said with an amused tone in her voice.
She couldn't help, but feel a little gleeful at the thought of Spike having to work instead of her.
"I just hope you don't get this Spike fired from his job. Come to think of it I hope the other Buffy doesn't get me fired from my job." Buffy said.
"I'm glad you find amusement in this, pet, but I don't necessarily think its all that laugh worthy." Spike said picking up the shirt and holding it at arms length to put it under further inspection.
"What's up with the stripes? This pylon thing isn't working for me. You do it." Spike said shoving the uniform into Buffy's hands.
"Would, but a have a slight case of flammability to the sun."
"You're very calm for someone who is recently sort of vamped."
"Well I figure make the best of the situation."
"How? We're stuck in an alternate dimension where things are totally reversed and I have to work." Spike said in a whiney voice.
"Well I don't have to work and aside from the residual feelings I have every thing easy."
"Say that with a little more gusto, pet. Maybe it'll be true." Spike muttered.
"'Kay I have every thing easy. In fact I think it's better then easy. I have vampire powers. How cool is that? Okay so maybe not cool, but I can hear people when they're talking really low like you just did. And don't say your British slang words. They don't sound right without your accent."
"Isn't that just dandy." Spike said spotting the small blue nametag during his inspection.
He held the tag closer to him.
"William?" Spike said questioningly scrunching his nose up in distaste for the name.
"Uh, yeah, it's kind of your real name Spike." Buffy said in the best 'duh' voice she could pull off in the rather hoarse throaty sounding voice she had.
"I know that. Why is it so small? And why is it William. Least it could've been is Will or maybe even Spike. Shoot at this point I'd settle for Jim Bob." Spike said.
"You don't look like a Jim Bob, Spike. Don't think you could pull off Jim Bob. And what are you talking about, small? It's seems normal size to me." Buffy said.
"Must be my eyes then."
"What you need glasses?" Buffy said flippantly.
On Spike's nervous, jittery silence she took that as a yes.
"Oh my God. You need glasses." Buffy said bouncing up and down at the new information.
"Yes okay, when I was human I wore glasses. What of it." Spike said as snidely as he could, but came out with less bark then it should have come out with.
It was like this body just wouldn't allow you to get mad.
"I just think its funny is all. I mean add the glasses with the two tone hair thing you got going on and those clothes on your floor and you fit right in with the classic nerd." Buffy said.
"My clothes aren't nerdy. Maybe the glasses, but they're just reading glasses. Besides you're one to talk. What's with the long brown hair?"
"Oh God, my hair's brown?"
"Uh, yeah haven't you seen it?" Spike asked in a tone he would later stake himself for.
Stupid Southern Californians and their chipper perky accents.
"Kind of hard to do without a reflection. I just assumed it was blonde. This is just great. Does it look horrible?"
"You're asking me. Personally I like the blonde better, but you're not a natural blonde so there you go." Spike said.
"Well I guess we all have flaws. You with your glasses and me with this brown hair. It's time to make the best of this situation. Now get dressed for work. Wouldn't wanna be late and piss off the boss." Buffy said getting ready to leave the room.
"Is this the same Buffy that was all broody and giving my grandsire a run for his money?" Spike asked.
"Yeah, but for the first time in awhile I'm free. It's like when I was invisible, only I can't go out in the sun. I wonder which soap opera I'll watch first." Buffy said bouncing out of the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This can't be happening. Spike thought for the umpteenth time. The Powers that Be picked a perfect day for him to be going to work. He was working the grill. Not being one for grills he had to ask the scary, creepy, smelly guy who talked about grease getting caught in your nostrils for help.
The guy looked at him strangely as if he were the smelly one and then proceeded to show Spike how to work the grill. Then the manager, Lori or something got on his ass for not being there yesterday and told him he was working a double shift, which included him working the counter. Yup, life couldn't get worse.
"Hi I'm William. Welcome to the Doublemeat Palace. What can I do for you today?" Spike said through gritted teeth repeating the little piece he found written on a scratch piece of paper in his locker.
"One Doublemeat Medley please." The man said
"For here or to go?" Spike asked laying on the fake cheeriness.
"To go." the man said.
Spike squinted down at the small buttons that held small icons of food and tiny letters.
"Will, shouldn't you be wearing your glasses when working the register." One of the Doublemeat employees said to Spike.
Spike had already established that he didn't like the guy earlier this morning when he snickered at Spike's grilling ability and took it upon himself to try and teach Spike a more effective way to grill.
"Yeah, but I just can't seem to find them. . . Lennie." Spike said.
"Don't you usually keep them in your locker?" Lennie said with a fake- questioning look.
"Yeah, but it seems I lost them somewhere. It's okay." Spike said looking back down at the buttons and pressing the right one.
"That'll be $2.25." Spike said.
The man handed him three-dollar bills and Spike made the change.
"Your order is number 25." Spike said handing the man a large cup.
"Next customer please." Spike said not looking up from the cash register.
"Hey, man. You don't look so good." Spike looked up to see Xander standing in front of him in his construction worker clothes and hard hat.
"This coming from the village people cast off." Spike said.
"Hey no need to get all snide on me. Merely stating the obvious. So your day's been that hell filled, huh." Xander said.
"I've never worked an honest day in my life. Even before when I was human I was fairly rich. All I had to do was balance the books and stupid shit like that. Always drinking tea, eating crumpets and playing croquet. Never have I ever had to really work. Well unless you count killing, but that's different." Spike said in a somewhat hushed tone.
"Okay that was weird. I keep forgetting that you're not the same Will I grew up with. It's an odd thing to hear you talk about killing people. Vampires and demons, maybe, but people are a whole different thing." Xander said.
"It doesn't sound all that menacing in this voice or this body. What is up with my hair? He can't decide a color so he goes with both. Pick one. Brown or blonde. Choose already." Spike said.
"I think he does that on purpose. Never asked. Personally I stick with not dying my hair at all. Easier that way." Xander said.
"So are you going to order something or not. That Lennie guy has been on my ass and so has my manager. Don't want to get the poor sap fired from his job." Spike said.
"Sure why not. How about you just get me a large drink. Got my lunch packed and everything. Just thought I'd see if you were on a lunch break." Xander said.
"Why?" Spike asked questioningly.
"Because I thought I'd eat with you. The site's right down the street." Xander said slightly confused.
"Again I ask why?" Spike asked.
"Because you're my friend and I thought you'd be lonely eating alone." Xander said as if he were talking to a two-year-old.
"You know I'm not your friend. We aren't friends where I come from so excuse me if I'm a little thrown by this lunch invite." Spike said.
"Right I keep forgetting. You know it's okay if you don't want to have lunch. I just thought I'd tell you that since the wedding's in two weeks and I'm not sure if the Spike that's supposed to be here will be back or not that you know, you'll have to step in." Xander said.
"Wait, step in as what? I thought I was already doing my part being an usher." Spike asked.
"My best man." Xander said.
"I thought Red was your best man?" Spike asked.
"Um, I picked you over her. She's going to be Anya's maid of honor." Xander said.
"Well then Buffy and I'll just have to figure this out before then. That way you're wedding won't be ruined." Spike said.
"Yeah although I think I like a Buffy who's willing to be in the wedding rather then one who isn't." Xander said.
"Buffy's in the wedding too?" Spike asked.
"Yeah to even out the ratio."
"Right of course. Same reason I'm in the wedding back. . . where I come from."
"Well let's just hope you guys can figure it out before two weeks. It would be nice to have my friend back for my wedding." Xander said.
"Okay well I'll work on that." Spike said pressing a few buttons and then handing Xander a cup.
Xander dug in his pocket for some change when Spike said, "It's on the house. Just one drink. Better hurry up and get back to the construction site." Spike said.
"Sure okay. Positive you don't want any company?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This wasn't what Buffy had in mind for a restful day at home. After two hours of sitting in front of the TV and two bags of blood later she was bored out of her mind and there was nothing she could do about it. The thought of sneaking into Dawn's room had appealed to her, but then she realized how childish that was.
The thought of checking out what this Spike lived like had too popped into her head but hadn't stayed there that long. He lived like a slob. Total and utter chaos. The room looked like a big tornado hit it. No, it would be too much work to look through that and find out information.
She was feeling worthless without the other Buffy's help. What purpose did she have, but to sit in front of the TV and drink blood all day? There was absolutely nothing for her to do. All these years Buffy had a purpose and now she had nothing.
She didn't have a purpose she had a sofa and a TV playing ridiculous soap operas and the birds that were chirping way too damn loud for anyone's liking. Or maybe that was just the super advanced vampire hearing. Everyone was doing something and she was beginning to feel how crushing being free could actually be.
"This is stupid. There's nothing on TV and I just have to sit here. Maybe Spike was right. Maybe we should really be focusing on how to go back home." Buffy muttered as she changed the TV.
"Buffy where are you?" Buffy turned her head to the door and saw as Willow walked through it.
"Hey, Wills. I'm in the living room." Buffy said.
"Oh." Willow said walking into the living room.
"Thank god you're here." Buffy said.
Willow gave her a weird look then said, "Oh right, different Buffy. So how has your day been."
"Oh just ever so boring. If this is what it means to be a vampire I think I'm going to pull a Dorothy and say 'There's no Place Like Home.'" Buffy said.
"Well technically regular vampires would be out. . . sleeping and later causing mayhem. Because you're all Chips Ahoy you're not out commanding minions." Willow said.
"I guess you're right. I mean I knew that Spike, from my reality, was chipped and all, I just never knew what that meant. And these damn vampire senses are going haywire. I mean I can literally hear the neighbor's two houses away arguing about that mysterious stain of lipstick on his shirt. He's not very good at defending himself." Buffy said.
"Yeah I was kind of wondering when she'd catch on to his cheating. He's been coming in at two in the morning every night for the past month. Anyway, I was thinking about how we can fix this and maybe we could call on a higher power to ask if they know anything about this." Willow said.
"That's a lot of magic isn't it?" Buffy asked.
"Well, it's pretty big, but I think with my help Tara could pull it off."
Buffy nodded. "Don't want you to fall off the wagon just because I need a little magical assistance. So we just call on this higher power and ask it questions?"
"No, it's a little harder then that. It appears that if you call the power you have to have a champion present to fight some big fight. It's risky at best and if you want to not get your head cut off then you have to win." Willow said.
"Okay not that I'm not okay with the head chopping off of my head, but maybe there's a less violent approach." Buffy said.
"I'm still looking through the text. Anya's at the Magic Box helping out too. We should, maybe, be able to come up with something different, but maybe not. If this is our only hope. . ."
"Then we take it I know. It's just where do you go about finding a champion?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"And that's why our system of checks and balances is so wrong. It's outdated. The government should really put a new system in place." Lennie said as he hovered over Spike's shoulder.
It was only two more hours until he was out of this dump. Part of his mind said he'd go home, take a nice long shower, and fall right to sleep in that nice warm comfortable bed. The other part said he should really go out and kill something before plopping onto that messy bed that belonged to him in this dimension.
"It's like America is totally disregarding everything John Locke wrote about. Not that I'm saying we need an overthrow of government, but someone needs to be looking out for the little guy. Get what I mean?"
Spike looked over and gave him a tense smile.
"And it's not just the fundamentals. It would be easy if it was, but this goes deep. Bureaucrats still exist my friend and politicians love to eat out of there hands. The president tries to pretend that it's all just a big conspiracy, but anyone with eyes could see the difference." Lennie said.
"You're really into this cause thing aren't you." Spike commented.
"Oh is it boring you. I'm sorry it's just ever since I've been taking this economic and government class I've been all Mister Government. You know talking off anyone's ear about the basics of our society and the ever rising of communism. Sorry if it offends you." Lennie said.
A confused look passed over Spike's face. He wasn't sure whether to be outraged by the comment or to brush it off completely. Spike knew more history then the kid could ever know. He was alive during the Industrial revolution and the up rise of communism in Germany. Hell he had even met Mussolini and almost got to meet Hitler.
He was over a hundred and twenty years old. He knew his history. He had majored in History and English when he was in Oxford. Part of him told him to creep down and just forget about it though. That was the part of the Spike from this dimension. Not really secure in his ability to outsmart people. He'd rather just dunk down and hope he wasn't seen.
"Oh it's not that it's just well you're so enthused by government. Of course, I personally, have more of an English thinking stand point." Spike said watching as the boy's face contorted in confusion.
"You're English. I didn't know you came from Britain?" Lennie said thoroughly confused.
"I don't, but I have a. . . friend a few actually that are from Britain. I guess the thinking structure rubbed off on me." Spike said.
"Really so you think there should be a monarch or something?" Lennie said stifling his laughter.
"Oh, no, never was much for the queen. Parliament regulates everything over there anyway. No, I think that the government we have now is a good one." Spike said.
"So what's your stand point then?" Lennie asked.
"I guess I just feel that maybe, if everyone stopped arguing about the wrongs of government and feeling ready to revolt, they could see that what they have now is a pretty good set up. I mean we have all these rights activist, which are all well and good for things like animals and polluted sea water, but for humans after all this time is just ridiculous. I mean, and I've once argued this before, Americans went to America, revolted on British views from Enlightenment thinkers, conquered tons of lands killing thousands of 'Native Americans' to do it, and know you all feel bad on Thanksgiving for all the wrongs done to the 'Native American' race. It's silly. You came in, conquered, won and know you feel really bad about it. The whole system of thinking is ridiculous." Spike said.
"I guess, but what does that have to do with the wrongs in our government?" Lennie asked in that condescending tone he had perfected.
"Well, Americans use the ideas of Enlightenment thinkers and then raise them on a pedestal for all people to live by. You go telling other countries how to run themselves instead of fixing the problems at home. That's the real problem. Fix the internal before the external. If they aren't bothering us don't bother them. So what if they live under a different system then us. We aren't the world dominators. We don't own them. If you want to tell a country how to run themselves then conquer them. Don't sit in the sidelines waving a finger saying 'Do it 'Cause I Said so.'"
"So you're saying you support communism?" Lennie asked.
"The idea behind it was good enough. Crazy people like Hitler and Mussolini took it too far I'll give you that, but if a country wants to live under that rule, fine by me. Not my place to judge them." Spike said.
"So you totally disregard all the things the Enlightenment thinkers came up with?"
"No, they came up with some good ones."
"So you just don't believe in Machiavelli's three branches of government?"
"Montesquieu."
"What?"
"Montesquieu wrote the three branches of government. Machiavelli wrote The Prince."
"Oh yeah well." Lennie said as he stalked off back to his register. Spike smiled a triumphant smile.
Maybe this thing will be fun after all, Spike thought as he put the fries into the crisper.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well I didn't find anything else out. It seems this gladiator type is our best bet." Anya said.
"Right now anyway. We have plenty of chances to find something else." Willow said off of the sad look on Buffy's face.
"Well it's good that you're researching. That's a good thing." Buffy said twirling a lock of her brown hair.
"Yeah, but if only we had something more to go on. Now don't freak out on me again, but we have absolutely no solid information. I mean just look at your memories. If those are different then any information from your dimension leading up to the switch-a-roo could be different too." Xander said.
"Xander's right. Besides who knows if we're even supposed to interfere. I still think this has to do with just Buffy and Spike going through this thing." Tara said.
"So we just have to wait." Dawn said a little more sullenly then she hoped for.
She sounded downright sad at the idea of not having her brother anymore. Sure this Spike was nice enough, he reminded her of the Buffy that belonged in her dimension, but he wasn't her brother.
It was awkward that now Buffy was acting like her big sister, but it was to be expected considering in her dimension Buffy was her sister. Dawn just hoped that things would eventually go back to normal.
"Sorry Dawnie, but short of us finding a champion and using said champion to fight a war with some really big possibly demonic guy who would probably kick said champion's ass, we've got nothing." Willow said.
"Willow babble back in full force. It's been awhile." Buffy commented.
"Yeah, unde. . . Buffy's got a point. Nice to see some things returning to normal." Xander said.
Willow blushed nervously and dared a glance at Tara. Tara was smiling sweetly back at her.
"So as Willow explained in that really long sentence, we've got nothing, but we have a little something called optimism. We'll keep looking until our eyeballs pop out." Anya said with enthusiasm rarely seen when researching.
"Which might be soon if these books get any boring-er." Xander said.
"Well, we'll just have to pop them right back in." Willow said.
"Yeah shouldn't be too hard. I mean there's like six of us. Seven when Spike finally does get home. Why is he so late tonight." Dawn asked glancing at the time and seeing that it was almost eleven.
"He called bitching about having to work a double shift and if he didn't have the chip in his head then he'd kill his boss. Shouldn't bee back until midnight. You better get to bed Dawn." Buffy said not looking up from her book.
"Yeah I guess. Wait. . . Spike was complaining about his chip. He doesn't have a chip in this dimension." Dawn said.
"It's probably habit Dawn. You know he probably just doesn't want to get this Spike charged with murder and, as force of habit to explain his non- violent tendencies, he used the chip as an excuse." Tara said.
"Makes sense." Xander said.
"Besides you wouldn't want to have a mentally deranged chip free Spike. It's best he doesn't remember that he doesn't have the chip. He might go killing people." Buffy said.
"Or worse he'll start blaming his soul."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Just a few more minutes. Twenty at most. Only twenty minutes and you're out of this hellhole. You can actually go home to that nice warm bed you were thinking about earlier. Just a few more minutes. Spike thought as he helped the last few customers of the night.
The Doublemeat palace stayed open until midnight and the drive-thru was open until two. Spike didn't want to know what kind of people came to the drive-thru at one in the morning.
Mostly, right now, it was college students getting the munchies.
"Can I help the next in line please." Spike said. A tall brunette with blue eyes walked up. She had a big scar over her eye and wore all black. It reminded Spike of some sort of ninja. She was staring at him expectantly.
"Hi, I'm William, welcome to the Doublemeat Palace. What would you like this evening ma'am." Spike said in that fake cheery voice it had only taken him a day to get down. The brunette stared at him oddly.
"Will, it's me. Renee." She said with that same expectant look on her face.
"Um. . . okay Renee. What would you like?" Spike said.
"What is wrong with you? I come back to town and you act as if you don't know me." She said.
"Um. . . are you going to order something? I have customers." Spike said feeling very uncomfortable. He obviously didn't know who she was. She wasn't from his dimension.
"Will, stop acting like that. The Initiative needs your help." She said in a voice barely above a whisper.
"My help? Why do they need my help? And why would I help them?" Spike said forgetting where he was.
"Because you're the Slayer." She said in that same low tone.
"Am the what?"
"The Slayer."
"No I'm. . . oh, that's right."
A/N: Just so you know, the next chapter will definitely be in the regular dimension and Riley bashing will ensue. I was going to just not write "As You Were" but I decided I never give up the chance for a good Riley bashing. So there you have it. This was a fun chapter to write because it showed Spike doing well, while Buffy was feeling the burn of not having a purpose. Sorry if I got the name of the jerky guy who went to night school wrong. I couldn't remember his name. So let's everyone review. You want the next chapter you're going to have to review.