Huge, thunderous storm clouds have somehow managed to get onto the set of Masterpiece Theater. Instead of the usual trumpet music, the "Funeral March" is blaring in the background, giving the claps of thunder a run for their money. Sango is hiding under her seat in crash position, a helmet secured over her brown hair. Miroku is laughing insanely as he looks at his borrowed toy, a black Dell computer complete with printer and loud speakers.
Sango: (Glaring at the readers) I asked you to STOP her, NOT encourage her.
Miroku:(Assuming the He-Man pose) I HAVE THE POWER! (Giggles insanely to himself as he begins typing).
Sango: (Heaves a sigh tearfully) Besides a few sane ones among you, most of you wanted a citrus-filled chapter by the lech. I really do not understand WHY. Do you have any idea the horror you people have caused?
Earl the Lawyer: (Jumps heroically onto the set) Never fear Sango, Earl is here!
Sango: (Looks at Earl critically from her crash position) And what can you do, Earl-san?
Earl the Lawyer: (A cocky smile lights his face as he crosses his arms) Rambling Coffee Addict sent me to give a certain amount of rules that the monk has to abide by in order to write this chapter.
Miroku:(Looks up with a horrified expression from the computer) What?! She never mentioned rules!
Earl the Lawyer: Well, some of the readers made a very good point about how dangerous it was to let you write citrus without any kind of supervision. So you have to abide by these small rules (thrusts a huge stack of paper on top of the computer). And if you hurt her precious Demetri in any way, shape or form, she will hunt you down, and rip your heart out with a plastic spork.
Sango: (Whistles) Geez… and she's a pacifist. Not too mention she claims to love you.
Miroku: Who's Demitri?
Earl the Lawyer: Her computer. Any way, the punishment for breaking one of the rules is not as severe, merely being struck by lightning.
Sango: That's her punishment for everything.
Earl the Lawyer: (Shrugs) She likes lightning. (Looks at the readers) So getting back to the other part of my job, Rambling Coffee Addict doesn't own Inu-Yasha or any of its characters, but does own Miroku's chapter, since it is okay to steal from anime characters. (Looks very serious) And folks, Rambler changed the rating of this story for adult content and citrus, so remember that this is a STRONG R rating.
Miroku: (Looks over the rules pouting) Oh, she just had to ruin this for me didn't she.
Sango: (Still in crash position) Well, after a very long wait, here you are readers, Chapter 5. Enjoy!
Chapter 5
Trust
"It's so beautiful!" Higurashi-san gushed, happily looking over the painting Kagome's grandfather had gotten made especially for the wedding ceremony. The picture was on display in the banquet hall, perfectly centered in the room so no one could miss it. The painting elaborately depicted Kagome sitting on Inu-Yasha's back, trying to choke him as the hanyou tugged at a fist full of her hair, trying to tear it out. The woman sighed contentedly, pulling her highly disturbed daughter closer to her at the large table, "Ah, young love!" Kagome sweat-dropped at that comment.
Inu-Yasha grumbled in his seat next to Kagome as his family members heckled the portrait, making jarring remarks about who was 'on top' in the relationship. He hated big celebrations like weddings, anniversary parties, or even New Year's for that matter. They were occasions when society deemed it absolutely necessary to spend time with his family. But family time never came with the normal bonding and gushing society seemed to tell him were called for, but rather with bitter sarcasm, tons of sake, and more than a few injuries. Celebrations in honor of him were worse, however, which made this whole wedding feast thing even more despicable. He couldn't just fade into the corner and wait for his torture to end. No, he had to sit burning from the glare of the spotlight, a sort of sacrificial pig roasting while everyone else poked and prodded it to see if it was done yet.
Rolling his eyes as his new mother-in-law prattled away about how much trouble Kagome's grandfather had gone through to get the portrait made, Inu-Yasha tapped his fingers against the table, idly wondering when the servants were going to serve the feast. All of the guests were seated along the long oak tables, which were pushed together to form a 'u' against the sides of the hall. The center of the room was left open for dancing after the eagerly awaited feast. Candles adorned every table, casting a warm glow over the dank stone walls. The entire atmosphere was intimate and inviting, but all Inu-Yasha could get out of it was absolute boredom. He almost wished some of his relatives would start trying to tear each other apart just so he wouldn't be this bored to death anymore.
"I would like to make a toast," Sesshomaru stood up suddenly, taking everyone by surprise, "Since I am the best man."
Inu-Yasha suddenly missed his bored state of five seconds ago. Head in his hands he grumbled under his breath, "No asshole, the best man is passed out in the shrine." This was going to be horrible, he just knew it. His head was already beginning to pound in anticipation of the upcoming headache.
Sesshomaru
didn't even acknowledge his brother's pathetic attempt to stop him. Raising his glass solemnly, his eyes gleamed
as he spoke "To Kikyo, for escaping a fate worse than death." There was a deafening void where there should
have been boisterous cheers and the musical clanking of glass. Goblets remained raised in the air, as many
guests did not know what to make of Sesshomaru's toast. Although he usually hated public speaking,
since the public were usually such simpletons anyway, Sesshomaru had to admit
that his little speech had a very delicious effect. He couldn't help the urge to beam at the dark
hatred, embarrassment, and guilt flashing through his brother's eyes, and the
honest confusion in that of his bride's.
Right as Inu-Yasha was about
to pull out his sword and rid himself of his accursed brother once and for all,
an elderly woman stood up in the far corner of the banquet hall. "I would like to propose a toast as well."
The stout woman's gravelly voice sounded with forced cheerfulness, commanding
everyone's attention with her authoritative presence, even that of the
momentarily homicidal groom. "To
Kagome," She turned her sharp, beady
eyes on the bewildered girl, "May your marriage to Inu-Yasha be filled with
nothing but happiness and prosperity. I have
yet to get to know you as well as your husband, but if you were chosen for such
a unique individual, than you must be quite special." Smiling warmly, she
turned toward the other guests, whose glasses were still raised from the
previous toast. "I know I speak for everyone when I wish you nothing but the
best." Finally realizing this was their cue, the guests clapped rigidly, still
not fully recovered from the previous toast.
Kagome turned to Inu-Yasha as the feast was finally served, unable to get what Sesshomaru had said to leave her mind. "Inu-Yasha, who is Kikyo?" She asked quietly, observing his pensive expression.
Staring straight ahead, Inu-Yasha refused to take his eyes off his brother for a moment. "I'll tell you later." He muttered. His heart pumped furiously in his chest, his blood screaming at him to tear the bastard to pieces. How dare he. How dare he sit there as if he had not just ripped his heart out once again and stabbed it repeatedly with his sword. How dare he not meet his gaze, instead passively listening to some relative drone on and on. He had been so close to going a whole hour and a half without thinking of her. She was the last thing he needed on his mind, and Sesshomaru just had to slam her in his face; mocking him before all of his guests. Why haven't I killed the fucking bastard yet?
"Well, don't bother to say hello or anything." A familiar voice grated, causing Inu-Yasha to look up from his dark thoughts.
Looking up he realized the old woman who had given the toast was standing before him, pudgy arms crossed over her chest, her creased face wearing a slightly chiding expression. "Kaede…"
Raising an eyebrow, her frown deepened. "That's all you have to say? And after I just saved your hide too." She shook her head in mock disappointment, grumbling "He doesn't even have the courtesy to introduce me to his lovely young bride; how terribly rude."
Inu-Yasha smirked slightly, deciding to rise to the woman's jabs. "You're always so impatient you old hag. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was just trying to spare my bride from your hideous presence so soon after the wedding?"
Bristling slightly, Kaede retorted "Inu-Yasha, you can test anyone's patience, even that of this elderly miko. And even if I were a baka such as yourself, I would not insult the person tutoring your wife." She hissed menacingly at the unimpressed hanyou.
"Of fine, Kaede-baba." He waved his hand in the vague direction of Kagome, "Kagome, this is the miko Kaede, and she will be helping you with all of the miko shit. Kaede-baba, this is my ball and chain, Kagome, a miko who can't control her powers."
Kagome's eyebrow twitched. "Thank-you, dearest husband, for the fabulous introduction." She growled through clenched teeth.
"No problem, wench." Inu-Yasha grinned at her smugly.
"Actually, Kagome, your husband spoke very highly of you earlier when he was telling me of your plight." Kaede informed the girl with a slight smile, noticing the way the hanyou's cheeks darkened. Her smile widened when she found a similar blush forming on Kagome's cheeks.
Before Kagome could ask more about the priestess, a deep voice interrupted, "Kaede-sama! It has been so long since I've seen you!" Miroku strode up to the trio, smiling broadly.
Nodding slightly in return, Kaede graced the younger man with a pleasant smile. "It is nice to see you too, Miroku. Found anyone to bear your child yet?"
Miroku shook his head, with a slightly mournful expression. "No, but the night is still young, and there are plenty of ladies here just waiting for me to ask them. You know how weddings put women in the mood."
Kaede stared at him flatly. "No, I don't."
The monk turned to Kagome and Inu-Yasha, "And how is my favorite pair of newly weds?"
Fidgeting in his seat as Kagome began to sip on her wine, Inu-Yasha grumbled in response. "Very anxious to get out of this hellhole."
"I'll bet
that's just because you can't wait for what comes after…" Miroku accused suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at his
friend. Suddenly the conversation was
struggling to remain on life support.
Kagome choked on her drink, coughing and sputtering as Kaede patted her
back. Inu-Yasha lost his normally tanned
complexion, turning a ghostly white. His eyes widening in remembrance of the
factor he had forgotten. What would have been a very funny or at least mildly
amusing quip at any other wedding reception was just a barb at what was going
to be very awkward. Miroku had known he
was going to be sending the conversation into a coma, but there was no other
way to bring the subject to Inu-Yasha's attention. And gauging his reaction, he had been right
in assuming the hanyou had forgotten one of the most important details of the
night.
Being the benevolent soul he
was, Miroku took it upon himself to rectify the situation. After all, Inu-Yasha was like the younger
brother he never had or even wanted. Why
shouldn't he share his immense knowledge and expertise with a man he considered
family? He had always tried to be as
generous as he could with his talents and skills, if not with the money in his
satchel. He bowed elaborately before the
choking bride and the elderly miko before grabbing Inu-Yasha's arm to lift him
from his seat. "If you will excuse us, my dear ladies, I would like to catch up
with my old friend here, since it has been so
long since I have last seen him."
Inu-Yasha stuttered as Miroku tried to drag him away, looking over his shoulder at the two women. "It's only been a month…"
"Oh but hasn't seemed like forever?" Miroku said, eyeing Inu-Yasha with an intent "come with me now" expression.
Wearily decided to oblige the monk, Inu-Yasha played along, snorting in disbelief. "You probably just want another loan, bouzo…." He replied casually as he followed Miroku.
Miroku led Inu-Yasha out of the castle, in to the darkness of the garden, stopping every few moments to check for any suspicious movement among the shadows of the foliage. Stopping a good forty or fifty feet from the castle, his eyes darted about suspiciously. "Inu-Yasha, do you smell any of your relatives close by, or Sesshomaru?"
Inu-Yasha paused inhaling the night air slowly, "Just the drunk, still passed out in the shrine."
Breathing a sigh of relief, Miroku fixed Inu-Yasha with a knowing look, causing the hanyou to take a few uneasy steps backwards. "You forgot about the wedding night, didn't you?"
Inu-Yasha gaped at the monk, hating the way Miroku read him so easily. Was it that obvious? "No, you damn monk, I just don't obsess about it like some hentai bastards!" He snapped, trying to soothe his slightly dented ego.
"It's understandable, Inu-Yasha." Miroku said quietly, "No one can say the last few days have been easy for you." He reassured softly, before smirking in the darkness, "Not to mention you aren't the type to think ahead."
"Urasai!" Inu-Yasha hissed, before falling to the ground in a cross legged position, hands tucked in his midnight colored kimono. "It's not like the solution is that hard anyway," He reasoned, eyebrows knitted together in thought, "I just tell her we aren't going to do anything, and she'll sleep on the floor."
Miroku guffawed; he had never heard anything more naïve. Man was this boy lucky he had him here to set him straight. "First of all, baka, I doubt your wife will readily agree to sleep on the floor."
"Well it's my bed, so that's too fucking bad-"
Miroku's foot collided with the hanyou's head. "I'm not done yet. Secondly, you are forgetting a very important factor in this equation."
"Which would be…?" Inu-Yasha gritted out sarcastically as he attempted to shove the monk's foot off of his face.
"Your
brother, if not the whole clan of your demon relatives." Inu-Yasha stopped
struggling abruptly, his eyes filled with dread. Miroku removed his foot from Inu-Yasha's face
to sit down beside the hanyou. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but all demons can
smell arousal, cannot the not?"
"Within a certain distance…
maybe thirty, forty feet…" Inu-Yasha
whispered, suddenly dazed by the implications of where this was heading.
"How much are you willing to wager they will make sure the wedding is consummated, if only by checking to see that they smell your musk coming from your room?"
Inu-Yasha went rigid. "He'd do it," His voice was full of resentment as he resigned himself to the extent to which Sesshomaru would make sure he was suffering, "The fucking bastard would probably be in the next room, just to make sure." Shaking in frustration, he punched his fist into stone path. "But I can't Miroku! If I had sex with her I would be mated to her! For fucking ever!"
He expected Miroku to offer him some sort of sympathy, or at least give him a solemn speech to resign himself to his inevitable fate. Instead, he found the monk to have an almost devilishly depraved grin plastered on his boyish features, and his eyes shining in an almost unholy light. "How much do you know about sex, Inu-Yasha?" He asked in an almost idol fashion.
The hanyou moved away from the monk, severely disturbed by his expression. "Umm… a bit too much, considering that time Sesshomaru gagged me and tied me to the rafters of my parents' room when I was five…" He shuddered at the horrible mental imagery the memory of that night brought back.
"Then surely you know there is more than one way to achieve orgasm?"
Inu-Yasha wanted out of this conversation, now. "I'm getting the fuck out of here." He tried to get up, only to have a staff block his path.
"Who would you like to talk to about this: option a, Sesshomaru, option b, your father, or option c, myself?"
"I'll take option d, no one."
Miroku sighed. "Look, I am not doing this because I am enjoying this-"
"But you are!" Inu-Yasha pointed out, a pout spreading across his features.
Miroku couldn't help the smirk, "Yes, but I am primarily doing this to help you out." He looked at the half-demon gravely, "Now what do you know about having an orgasm without 'going all the way'?"
"Um… I didn't get that far with Kikyo, we were waiting for our marriage…" Inu-Yasha was so glad it was night, otherwise the monk might have seen the beet red blush covering him from head to toe.
"How far did you get?"
"Uh…" Inu-Yasha replied in a low, guttural voice, "I used my tongue whenever we kissed, and um… I…. uh… feltherup." He said the last part quickly, hoping the monk wouldn't be able to decipher it.
Miroku had a talent for hearing anything remotely sexual, however. "Under her clothes, or with them on?"
"WHY THE FUCK IS THAT IMPORTANT?!"
The monk raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I'm just trying to get a mental image, that's all."
"Yeah, well fucking stop, prick. Get back to the subject at hand."
Miroku paused for a moment. If he didn't go about this delicately, the hanyou was libel to rip him to shreds out of embarrassment. It was probably a little better to go an indirect route. "Inu-Yasha, let me tell you a little bit about my experience with the ladies."
"You mean all one or two of them?" The hanyou spat sarcastically, crossing his arms and sinking further into his pouting frame of mind.
Simply grinning in response, Miroku answered lecherously "You'd be surprised."
"So Kagome, how long have you been practicing your miko studies?" Kaede asked the girl once she recovered her breathing and had a few glasses of water.
"About 8 years I guess… but I really have been tutoring myself a lot of the time."
She answered distractedly, her eyes searching for where the monk had taken Inu-Yasha.
Kaede raised an eyebrow in confusion. "But Inu-Yasha told me you lived in a shrine…"
Kagome laughed nervously, she never knew quite how to explain the situation without embarrassing her grandfather. "I inherited my holy powers from my father's side of the family. My grandfather and my mother are very devout followers of the gods, but do not possess any spiritual power."
"I see…"
Kagome crossed her fingers, hoping the miko would not ask about her father. That was not a topic she wanted to discuss tonight. She decided to change the subject before the miko even got the chance to ask. "If you do not mind me asking,
Kaede-sama-"
"Kaede-baba. Kaede-sama is so formal." The old miko eyes crinkled into a smile though her expression remained mild.
"Kaede-baba then, would you mind telling me how you know Inu-Yasha?"
Kaede paused, thinking for a moment. How could she tell the girl without giving away information Inu-Yasha might not want to give her yet? She would not assist the hanyou in lying to the girl if he tried, but after all, she wasn't one to put a damper on their wedding night. "I taught an acquaintance of his for several years. I got to know him when he used to visit the village I taught at. We have a sort of strained friendship, if you will."
Kagome frowned. "Then why are you tutoring me?"
Kaede laughed out loud as Kagome blushed from her unguarded question. "My dear girl, although my fondness for Inu-Yasha may have it limits, I am never opposed to taking on new pupils; particularly pupils who are both very promising and in need of assistance."
Thinking this over, Kagome decided to ask her one of the other questions plaguing her. "Kaede-baba, do you know who Kikyo is?"
The old miko's expression turned pained. She really did not want to lie to the girl, "I think you should ask Inu-Yasha that question. But not tonight," She cautioned hastily, seeing the girls eyebrows knit together in concern, "Ask him in the morning. I am sure this entire day has been exhausting enough for both of you." Kagome nodded solemnly; she was beginning to think her fears were truer than she realized. Smiling kindly at the girl, Kaede continued, "But we can discuss all of this later. The real question is where Miroku dragged your husband off to…"
"And then there was Koharu…." Miroku said nostalgicly as he licked his lips just thinking of the brunette, "Wow, the things she could do with her tongue-"
"Miroku," Inu-Yasha groaned, already a pale shade of green from the monk's vivid and detailed descriptions, "You have been through 53 of your last encounters with your 'ladies', and besides trying to nauseate me to death, I can't find the fucking point."
Miroku sighed. Obviously Inu-Yasha was a bigger buffoon than he thought. "What do all of my encounters have in common baka?"
"Your lechery?" Inu-Yasha guessed with false gusto.
"No," Miroku gritted out in exasperation, "That everything I did with them got either them or myself off with out having actual sex!" Miroku hated to be crude, there were so many words at his disposal that he usually found it easy to be suggestive in a sophisticated fashion, but this idiot wasn't making it easy. I swear, for someone who claims to be traumatized because of witnessing the kinky sexual activities of demons from age five it really takes awhile for anything to sink in. It probably would have been better if he had just sat on Inu-Yasha and hoped that he would absorb his knowledge through osmosis. Miroku probably would have had more success that way.
Inu-Yasha blinked, and then gagged in disgust. "You mean you want me to do all of that with her?!" Suddenly being tied to the ceiling of his parents' bedroom didn't sound so bad. No wait- he quivered as the image of his mother and father reappeared before him- I take that back.
"Not all of them, just one or two. I've given you over twenty options; you should be able to choose one which you don't find completely despicable." He shrugged, a smirk lighting his face as he got back on his feet. "Besides, you might find that you actually like doing them. I know I did."
"Thank you Miroku, it's nice to have the poster boy for lechery as a best friend." Inu-Yasha quipped sarcastically as he too stood up.
Miroku grinned. "Of course it is." Reaching into his robes, he started walking toward the castle. "Oh, I wrote this dialogue of things people usually say during sex to help you two be convincing." He pulled out a small rolled up scroll and shoved it in the hanyou's face.
Blinking in response, Inu-Yasha took the scroll from Miroku as if it might bite him. "Exactly how much free time do you have on your hands, monk?"
Gasping in shock, Miroku put on his best hurt expression. "Frankly I am hurt that you would ask such a thing, Inu-Yasha. You know I always keep my hands as busy as possible-"
"Until you get smacked." The half demon dog interjected snidely.
"Here I took the time to help you out, and this is the thanks I get?"
"Hai, hai, I am sure. I'll bet you were just hoping I would let you watch."
Miroku perked up hopefully. "Now that you mention it, Inu-Yasha, it would make everything a lot easier if we made this a threesome."
"WHAT?" The horrified hanyou nearly jumped five feet in the air at that comment.
"Well it would be easier for me to tutor both of you at the same time! I could give your bride on the spot instruction, both literally and figuratively." The monk explained quickly, "Despite the saying, there are some situations in which three is not a crowd. Not to mention beauty as fair as Kagome's should not go to waste-" SMACK. BANG. BOOM. Maybe I pushed him just a little too far… Miroku reflected as he tried to get himself out of the human pretzel Inu-Yasha had turned him into. Yes, although he usually tries to beat me to a pulp, I usually don't end up in a tree… He craned his head as far as the leg wrapped around his neck would allow him to go to look at Inu-Yasha as he stalked away. "You will help me get out of this tree in the morning, right, Inu-Yasha?"
Inu-Yasha muttered curses as he fumed toward the castle, not turning back to look at the knot shaped monk stuck in the gnarled oak tree.
"I'll take that as a maybe." Miroku decided, before going back to trying to find a way to get his arm twisted out from his two legs without falling off the branch.
The rest of the wedding feast had gone quite well in Inu-Yasha's opinion. No fatalities, and nearly no injuries. Only one injury really, his two uncles had gotten into a fight and tried to punch each other, only to accidentally knock out one of the newer servants who had actually tried to intervene and stop the fight. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, it would get rid of any delusions he had about the nature of the Yamura household.
Inu-Yasha spent the rest of his time during the reception praying it wouldn't end, and trying to prolong it for as long as possible. He gave speeches, made the servants serve drinks and deserts in slower, more tedious fashions, and even held sing alongs (he did not participate of coarse, merely starting them and then trying to run out of the room until they were over) to keep the party breathing. In the end he was thwarted by Kagome's mother, who insisted Kagome leave the party to prepare for the wedding night. And to think he had actually tolerated the woman. Pouting and grumbling, Inu-Yasha watched the guests slowly trickle out the door. He was nearly to the point of sobbing when the only ones still in the banquet hall were the servants.
Kagome, although dreading the night just as much, was in a state of numb shock. As the maids took off the wedding garb in the changing room, she could only stand and stare straight ahead. The maids felt as if they were dressing a doll, she was so expressionless. What could she do? How could she do what was expected of her?
Lifting her eyes drearily, Kagome looked at the girl the maids had finished dressing in the mirror. It couldn't be her. She was so beautiful; her white sleeping kimono hugging her curves, whispering against the lines of her body, while still leaving plenty to the imagination. But she looked so tired; her eyes turned a dull grey from their former stormy brilliance, despair clouding over any light. Her porcelain skin seemed to sag with her frown. She wasn't ready, but as Inu-Yasha dragged her out of the changing rooms to retire from the night, she knew that the only one that fact mattered to was her.
She stepped into the bedroom nervously, eyeing her surroundings like a mouse trying to detect a possible trap. Her stomach twisted itself into tight painful knots as she spotted the sweet-smelling candles lining the walls of the spacious room giving the dimness a warm, tangerine glow. A futon covered in dark red silken sheets lay at the center of the far left wall, flower petals carefully strewn across each pillow. Tucked against the sheets was a small white note.
"What the fuck have they done?!" Inu-Yasha cried from behind her. She turned to find the hanyou's left eye twitching erratically.
"Huh?" Kagome responded distractedly, her mind trying to reconcile herself to the suggestively romantic ambiance.
"My room! They fucking ruined my room! Those bastards!" He ranted, storming over to the bed to examine, or rather rip to shreds, the white note. "When I find the son of a bitch…" He stopped as he read the paper, his eyes widening with shock.
Dearest Inu-Yasha,
I wanted your wedding night to be special, so I had the maids help me create a romantic atmosphere. Don't worry, I will make sure they return your room to it's previous state, with the exception of the clothes lying on the floor. Congratulations son!
Your loving Mom.
His features clouded over with guilt. Why? He was grown up now, he wasn't the boy who couldn't even dress himself without falling anymore. Why did she still try to protect him, to care for him, when she was the one that needed to be taken care of? Why did she worry about him, when she should worry for herself? Why the hell had she thought he would want flower petals on his pillows anyway? Not to mention the candles were nearly overpowering his senses and making him dizzy.
Grabbing his head in his clawed hands, he let out a growl of frustration. Kagome jumped as the noise bounced off the walls of the room. "Aw, fuck it." He groaned before grabbing Kagome harshly and dragging her to the bathroom door on the right side of the room.
"What are you-?" Kagome sputtered out fearfully. Is he expecting me to…? And WHY in the BATHROOM? She was nearly hyperventilating in her panicked state.
Shoving a hand over her mouth forcefully, he pushed her into the bathroom. He didn't release her until he hauled her across the wooden floor to the farthest side of the room, throwing her into the tub. Ears swiveling in all directions in the darkness, he checked to make sure he had gotten out of hearing distance from his family. Inu-Yasha hopped down to loom over her in the empty basin.
"Inu-" She tried again, quivering in anxiety. Why was he acting like this?
He held a clawed finger to her lips, glaring fiercely at her to keep her silent. "Look, I need to explain something very important to you, and then you can yap about how much you don't like it all you want, okay?" He looked at her demandingly, yet his dim amber eyes were almost pleading with her to say yes. She nodded uncertainly, and he removed his hand from her to crouch grumpily in the tub, his hands trying to grip the timber beneath him. "What do you know about demons?"
"Um…" Kagome cleared her throat as her hands fiddled with her silken kimono "They want to kill me for some reason, and an unusual amount of them smell like cabbage."
As much as he wanted to ask her about just where she had gotten that second scrap of information, he pressed forward. "So you know nothing about our senses?" She shook her head, still looking down. "Demons have really strong senses of smell and hearing. We can smell everything within forty feet; food, fear, or even arousal." He watched her eyes widen a little at that comment. "Now don't get the wrong idea. There is no way in hell I am mating with you. But we have to make it seems like we have consummated the marriage or else my relatives won't believe that I'm doing my best to make this thing work." He waited for her to respond, but she seemed to be a little too stunned at the moment. Closing his eyes, he prepared himself for her reaction to his next comment. "So in order to make it believable and all, one of us needs to be aroused and… you know."
"WHAT?!" She screeched suddenly, backing away to the wall of the tub. If her stomach was twisted in knots before, it was now being tossed about by a tornado. She really didn't want to be having this conversation.
"It's not like I'm asking you to have sex with me or anything!" The hanyou snapped; his entire form a bright red in the darkness. He didn't know how he even had the ability to speak at this point in the conversation.
"No, you're just asking me to… to… I don't even know what you're asking me to do!" She wailed, closing herself into a tight ball, arms wrapped firmly against her knees. Her blue-gray eyes looked at him accusingly.
"Just um…." Oh gods, what he would give up to not have to say this out-loud. "Getmeoff." He muttered quickly, no longer to even look at the girl. Where was something to kill when you needed it?
"What does that mean?!" She had never felt more lost and uncomfortable in her life. Making a break for it and trying to jump off the balcony to either death or freedom (she didn't really mind either alternative at this point) seemed like a really good idea about now.
"Umm, well you know…."
"NO, I REALLY DON'T!" Getting angry with him was a much better option than rocking herself back and forth in a corner while she cried hysterically.
"It's where you either-" What had he ever done in his life that made him deserve such torture?
"Forget it. I don't want an explanation!"
"Look, I am willing to let you sleep on the futon if you just go along with this." He tried to reason.
"Now you're trying to bribe me?!" Kagome exclaimed incredulously, finally looking at her husband. "And with the promise of sharing the futon?! Gods, I have never heard of a lamer bribe in my life!"
"Well what would it take, bitch?" He growled. Maybe he was being punished for all of the times he bopped Shippo on the head. No, the runt deserved it.
"Much more than that you baka! I wouldn't even consider saying yes without the whole bed! You can sleep on the floor! And I would want unlimited access to all of your money, and my own personal servant!" Let's think of some other things the guy would never give me, and then maybe he'll leave me alone. "Not to mention you would have to serve me breakfast in bed everyday, served by you, not the maids." She almost smiled with triumph. He would give up immediately, Inu-Yasha would never, ever, humble himself to such an extent.
"Okay, but I won't serve you breakfast in bed tomorrow, I am probably going to be out all day looking for something to kill." He really needed to find something to sink his claws into at this point.
Kagome gaped at him in shock. "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT!" She shrieked in disbelief. "HENTAI!"
"I'm not a hentai!" He howled at her in frustration. Perhaps this was a punishment for all the times he had made fun of Kikyo when one of the drunken village men would try to put the moves on her. But she wouldn't even hit them, or tell them to get lost! No, what it really came down to in his mind was that this was all some big cosmic joke. Someone just got a real kick out of screwing with him. "But we need to make this look real!"
"WHY?!" Kagome shouted at him wearily, still clutching her legs to her chest. She was so tired of this arranged marriage, and it was just beginning. Joy.
"Because otherwise I will get thrown out of my house!" Hadn't he made that perfectly clear when they first met?
"I don't understand why that is such a big deal-"
"Would you like to be thrown out of your home with no where to go?!"
"You don't even like these people! I don't know why you put up with them!" Kagome declared in exasperation, her voice getting hoarse from shouting at him.
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" He roared at her.
"IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Why don't you just leave this place?!" Kagome stood up over him to emphasize her point.
"BECAUSE THEY WOULD KILL MY MOTHER!" He barked at her, eyes raging fiercely at the shaking girl. But the fire in his eyes went out as he looked down at his feet in bitterness. Suddenly it was much harder to breathe normally.
Kagome stared at the boy, her jaw slacked open in surprise. One minute he looked so angry and ravenous, and the next so vulnerable and young. He seemed so depressed at the moment she found herself wanting to run up and hug him.
"My mother…" Inu-Yasha started in a low voice, "She has been putting up with these demons all of my life. She used to be strong, but they just kept pulling at her and pushing her…" He growled bitterly. "Now she's just barely clinging to sanity. Ever since the nervous breakdown she had a few years back, we haven't been able to predict what will send her off into hysterics, where she will run to, or when she'll try to kill herself…" Voice catching in his throat, he tried to continue. "They're slowly killing her, and my bastard of a father doesn't see it. It's like he doesn't even care. If I were to leave this house, I don't know what would happen to her. Yeah, sure, my father wouldn't let them hurt her physically, but he can't stop the bastards from fucking with her head. And even if she survives that, what will happen if he dies, or goes patrolling again?"
Kagome gulped. He was being honest with her, and she couldn't just turn away from him in response. A wave of compassion filled her as she felt hot tears prick her eye lids. She was crying, for Inu-Yasha, for his mother, and for what she was about to do. "Okay."
Inu-Yasha was too lost in his own thoughts to hear her hesitant whisper. "Huh?" He grunted, turning dull eyes on his wife.
"I said," She responded gently, moving slowly to kneel in front of him. "Okay. I'll do it." Pausing for a moment, she thought over her wording. "Well, not it. But I will do what you need me to."
He couldn't help but stare at her for a moment. Shock, embarrassment, and amazement all danced across his sharp features. In the end, however, he couldn't tell her he was grateful, instead silently praying she would somehow see it in his eyes. "So what are we waiting for bitch?"
Rolling her eyes, she fixed him with a cold stare, her hands plastered in tight fists against her hips. "But Inu-Yasha, if I say stop, you have to stop."
Inu-Yasha's eyes suddenly went wide, remembering an important detail. "Oh, Kagome, one more thing."
Stiffening, she answered him uncertainly. "Yes?"
"When we're back in the bedroom, we have to sound like we're…" The blush crept back to his cheeks. "You know."
Kagome's features scrunched up in confusion. "Why?"
"Well, I told you that demons can hear really well. All of my relatives will be able to here us loud and clear; at least on this floor anyway."
Figures. She didn't like this newest development one bit. Rubbing her temples she fought off the fifth migraine of the day. "So what are we supposed to say?"
Inu-Yasha shrugged as he looked in the sleeves of his kimono, trying to find the scroll Miroku had given him. "Hell if I know. But luckily for us," He said sarcastically producing the scroll from his right sleeve, "The number one hentai in the land, Miroku, gave us a sort of script of things people say during… you know."
Kagome raised an eyebrow. "The monk? Aren't monks supposed to be holy?"
"Tell that to Miroku." Inu-Yasha grumbled. "Any way, I figure we can say stuff from here and then mouth whatever we really want to say."
"Umm…" Kagome had a feeling this was going to go terribly wrong. "Okay, but you still have to stop if I say so."
"Fine." Inu-Yasha grumbled getting up and helping Kagome out of the tub.
They walked silently towards the bedroom, neither having the courage to even look at each other. Kagome's heart was pounding painfully in her chest as she moved stiffly into the room. Finally looking at Inu-Yasha, she licked her lips tentatively. She wanted to say something, anything to him, but found her mouth too dry to utter a single word.
Inu-Yasha fidgeted as he stopped in front of the futon. Nervous energy filled the air as both just stood there, waiting for the other to make their move. Kagome finally spoke up tentively, "Inu-Yasha-", but he didn't let more than that escape her before he forcefully sealed his lips to hers.
She gasped in surprise as he pressed her to him stonily. Rigidly holding her, he continued to kiss her prone form, mechanically rubbing his callused hands up and down her arms. For all her imaginings of how glorious her first kiss would be, this was a sore disappointment. His dry lips were rough and demanding, but drained of passion. He was just going through the motions of being a lover, without truly playing the part. She privately wallowed in despair while trying to move her lips in some kind of rhythm with his.
Moving his hands jerkily to rest on her back, he ignored the growing lump in his stomach. Inu-Yasha thought his anxiety would vanish once they started, but the kiss had only served to amplify it. Trying to shove the unease further back in his mind, he pushed both of them to fall on the futon, carefully steadying himself so he wouldn't fall on the girl.
But he forgot to steady Kagome, who fell against the futon with a hard thud, banging her head. Grimacing, she rubbed her sore skull. "Itai…" She moaned.
He quickly pressed his lips to hers again, squelching the obscenities rising in her throat. Leaning over her, knees placed firmly against either side of her hips, his lips moved down her chin to the underside of her jaw. Although he could tell she was still in pain because of the bruise she had just received, he was desperate to get through this horrifying situation as quickly as demonly possible.
Shining white hair fell on Kagome's neck and shoulders, tickling her skin. She was trying to be as still as possible, but the feathery hair caressing her sensitive skin was too much to bear. Kagome giggled as Inu-Yasha's mouth placed further kisses down her throat.
Inu-Yasha looked up, flushed with annoyance and awkward embarrassment. 'Why aren't you taking this seriously?' He mouthed, careful not to let any sound escape his lips.
Looking up sheepishly, Kagome protested silently, 'I am! But you're tickling me with your hair!' Pouting at her, he crossed his arms sourly, apparently no longer aware of the fact that he was still straddling her. Rolling her eyes at his childish behavior, she slid her legs from underneath his so she was sitting cross-legged in front of him. She reached in front of him to pick up the scroll that the monk had so magnanimously provided. 'Let's just try this again, shall we? And maybe we can use this thing this time.' Kagome tried to smile cheerfully, but it came out as more of a pained grimace than anything else.
Inu-Yasha nodded faintly, grabbing the scroll from her to look at the first lines. "Oh baby," he repeated the written words woodenly, "Come to big daddy…" The last words were followed by choking sounds coming out of Inu-Yasha's throat.
"Oh, Inu-Yasha!" Kagome read the next lines, trying to decide if she wanted to laugh or throw up, "I need to be in your arms! Make love to me!" She said in an unsteady monotonous voice. Inu-Yasha was still choking, so Kagome skipped his next line. "Yes, Inu-Yasha yes. Keep going. Faster."
Finally getting over his coughing fit, he leaned over to look at his next line. "Oh, Kagome, will you bear my child?" It figures the prick would put that in here.
"Yes, Inu-Yasha," Kagome answered dully, leaning over so that both of them could look at the scroll at the same time. "You may not be nearly as handsome or debonair as that holy monk Miroku, but I will gladly bear you twenty children." Twenty?
"Oh, Kagome, you have made me the happiest hanyou on earth." Inu-Yasha declared with all of the enthusiasm of a zombie. Could this get any cornier? "I love you, my mate."
Kagome raised a curious eyebrow. 'Is it mandatory that people declare their love at sometime during…' She still couldn't bring herself to mouth the word, 'it?'.
Shrugging, Inu-Yasha answered. 'Don't think so.'
Sighing, Kagome went back to reading the script. "Oh Inu-Yasha! I never imagined you would be so big…" She looked at her tomato red husband in confusion. 'What does he mean by big?' She asked silently, studying him with large, innocent eyes.
Even Inu-Yasha's ears were red with embarrassment. He grabbed the scroll from her and tossed it off the futon. 'We're not using that.' He stated sharply, looking away from her questioning blue-gray orbs. Before she could ask about his reaction, he once again leaned over kissed her vigorously, if severely.
He really has to stop surprising me like that, she grumbled in her head. She tried to slow down the kiss as his hands clamped around her shoulders. Trying to maintain calm, she wrapped her arms around his waist in response, pulling them into a closer, more comfortable position. This is okay, I guess… She wasn't really feeling much, but at least it wasn't quite as excruciating as it had started out. Plus he seemed to be slowing down the kiss, allowing her to relax against his lips and get used to the feel of him.
Everything seemed to be going as okay as it probably ever would for Inu-Yasha. He still wanted this to be done with already, however. Moving his hand shakily from her shoulders, he let them trail down to her breasts. He had done this a few times with Kikyo, and she always seemed to like it well enough, so he thought Kagome probably would to. His rough hands fumblingly massaged her breasts, tracing circles along their curves through her clothing.
Kagome went rigid; suddenly the calm she was so close to achieving was ripped to shreds. She awkwardly continued to kiss him, hoping he would stop, or at least touch her more gently. Why couldn't he go a little more slowly? As his fingers began to pinch and rub faster at her nipple, Kagome knew couldn't take anymore.
"Stop!" She cried, wrenching herself from his arms. This was all so fast, so confusing. She knew they had to do this, but it was so awkward, and nothing like her mother described it. Heck, she didn't even know if he felt anything for her. Backing away to lean against the wall, her trembling hands held her head in frustration. Maybe there was a way to find out. "Why did you have him change the words?"
Inu-Yasha sighed, still panting to regain the oxygen he had been deprived of during their last kiss. Why is the bitch bringing this up now? "What?" Why did the girl always have to be so confusing? One minute she was responding and the next she was asking questions. Women were always so flippant and irrational.
Her eyes still rested on her feet. "Why did you have Miroku change the words of the vows at the wedding ceremony?" She repeated quietly, her cheeks stained red from blushing.
Inu-Yasha sputtered, looking at her in shock. She knew it was me. He was sort of hoping she wouldn't realize it was he who had made sure the words were changed. "Why do you want to know?"
"Because… I want to know." She replied hesitantly, her bangs shading her anxiety in her eyes. I want to know if you care, or if this is all business to you. I want to know if your kiss is so rough and unfeeling because you're nervous or because you hate the idea of kissing me. I want to know if I am spending the next six months with a man that will privately sigh in disgust every time he touches me. I want to know if I am the only one who wants this to be more than just a bargain.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Inu-Yasha squirmed in the tension her question had charged the air with. Blushing slightly, he decided to tell her the truth. "Because I knew you would be uncomfortable with the words 'to death do you part'. I figured you were one of those do-good types that nearly break down crying every time you're forced to lie. You'd probably spontaneously combust out of guilt if you had to lie in a shrine of all places."
"So you wanted to help me?" Inu-Yasha didn't respond. But he didn't say no, Kagome reminded herself, and that was almost sweet of him. Finally looking over at the hanyou, she came to her next conclusion. If she wanted him to slow down, then maybe she ought to start off setting the pace. He had had three tries, now it was her turn.
Slowly inching her way toward him, she whispered "Look, I don't know about you, but I knew nothing about this until this morning. So I'm a bit uncomfortable." That was the understatement of the year. He looked at her wordlessly, waiting for her to finish. As she reached him she slid her arms around his waist, closing the distance between them so their noses were nearly touching. "I am willing to learn with you, but only if you don't rush me."
He looked her over before dropping his eyes in thought. 'Okay,' He mouthed, looking into her eyes.
Kagome blushed at their proximity, but once again locked the part of her screaming in protest inside her mental closet. Gradually closing the distance between their lips, she kissed him gently, moving her mouth languidly against his. He responded in kind, being careful to follow her lead. Kagome felt a small electric tingle run up her spine at the way his lips carefully caressed hers. Closing her eyes, she began to ease into the kiss further.
Moving his hands to once again rest on her back, he waited for her to completely relax against him. Now that he was actually concentrating on the kiss, and not just getting the whole event over with, he found himself thinking her lips tasted like raspberries. His tongue darted out of his mouth to lick her lips, seeking both entrance and a better taste. Kagome shivered against him in response. Opening her eyes, she moved away from him slightly to look at his face questioningly. He smirked slightly, 'The next time I do that, Kagome, open your mouth.' Kagome arched an eyebrow at him, to which he just sighed in exasperation. 'Just do it.'
Shrugging, she let him resume kissing her. Licking her lips again, his tongue slipped into her mouth when she obediently opened it. He nearly grinned against her lips at the shocked gasp that escaped her at the sensation of his tongue massaging hers. Her gasp turned into a moan as his tongue stroked hers more insistently. All at once she felt herself wanting to respond to him further, much further. Still a little uneasy about having no clue what she was doing, Kagome hesitantly moved her tongue against his.
Taking that as his cue, he deepened the kiss, exploring all of her mouth. Kissing Kagome was such a different experience that it was almost like kissing someone for the first time. At the start their kiss as tentative and gentle, but now he could think of almost nothing except for the consuming desire for more. It had been so long since Kikyo, since anyone really, had touched him with any sort of tenderness. And the girl's gentle, innocent kisses were doing something to him he had thought no one but the long lost miko could. Not that the girl's kiss was better than Kikyo's, it was just different. He never felt like he was drowning in the taste of raspberries with Kikyo.
Breaking the kiss momentarily, he moved them to the top of the futon. He tried to ease Kagome to lie on her back but she objected. Raising an eyebrow, Inu-Yasha smirked "So the little miko wants to be on top, eh?"
Blushing fiercely, Kagome narrowed her eyes at him. "Urasai. It's just that your hair will tickle me again otherwise, and we will once again be at square one." She glared menacingly at his teasing grin while they changed their positions. While she was still muttering phrases about "arrogant bastard hanyous" he reached up and pulled her down to him, kissing her ardently. Kagome marveled as he kissed her; when had they become so comfortable with each other? Where had the awkward nervousness that filled her stomach gone?
His lips left hers to travel down her jaw, teasing her skin with the tingling sensation of his rough tongue. She arched against him instinctively as his ministrations reached her neck, suddenly breathless. Why had it gotten so hot? Was this normal? Closing her eyes she struggled to breathe deeply, feeling as if the whole room was somehow on fire.
She grabbed at his hair, only to stumble onto the dog ears situated at the top of his head. He went rigid as her fingers delicately played with the furry triangles, before letting out a guttural groan of pleasure. He sucked at her neck harder, lapping at her skin before his fangs clamping down lightly, just barely breaking the skin. Kagome hissed in pain, but was soon panting as he gently kissed and licked the blood away.
With the metallic taste of her blood still lingering in his senses, he lifted her away from him a bit to plant open mouth kisses on her collar bone, careful not to stumble upon the places he had discovered she was ticklish. A primal sort of masculine pride left him as she whimpered at his touch, eyes firmly shut and mouth slightly open in pleasure. He ran his fangs lightly over her collarbone, smirking as she moaned louder.
Kagome's hands left his ears to push down on the futon, trying to maintain her shaky balance above the hanyou. Hands trembling slightly from both the desire and the residue of his nervousness, Inu-Yasha cautiously pushed her sleeping kimono over to reveal her chest more fully. His eyes went up to see if Kagome minded only to find her eyes still clamped shut, her breathing coming out in ragged pants. Although it had sickened him to no end to passively sit and listen to Miroku's little rant about his sexual escapades, he had to admit to picking up a few key tidbits, such as the one he was about to try. Ever so slowly, he tentative kissed her nipple. A strangled moan arose in her throat as his tongue made hesitant circles around her breast.
A hazy thought popped into her head, suggesting that she stop him, or at least ask him what he was doing. That thought was overridden, however, by the overwhelming desire to let him do more. She had no idea what he was doing, but it felt so good.
Whimpering in ecstasy, her hips moved with a mind of their own, rhythmically grinding against his. Her unconscious movements drove Inu-Yasha to his limits, causing him to growl as he attacked her breast with new vigor, alternating sucking and biting. Desperate to keep her body moving with his, his arms grabbed at her lower back, thrusting them closer together.
Hips shoved against his, Kagome felt something… odd. It rubbed pleasantly against her lower abdomen, but it was seemingly out of place against the tightly wound muscles she felt through his hakama. What was that bulge in Inu-Yasha's pants? She tried to ignore it as his lips left the one breast to lavish attention on the other. His hand fondled the neglected breast, sending waves of electricity jolting through her body. But her groin kept encountering the stiffness beneath his clothing. Was it fruit, or a rock maybe? Experimentally pressing more forcefully against it, Kagome was intrigued when he nearly purred in response. He wouldn't have had that reaction if it were a rock. Something her mother had said to her suddenly began to push to the forefront of her mind, nagging her until it was nearly impossible to disregard. As much as a part of her was screaming for her not to let the hanyou stop his pleasurable torture of her breasts, a growing part of her wanted to know just what that was.
She opened her eyes, trying to balance herself with one hand as her other hand hesitantly slid beneath the fabric of his pants to touch whatever it was. Inu-Yasha groaned loudly as he felt her fingers lightly press against his manhood. Startled by his response, she tried to remove her hand only to feel his clamp it in place. "Do that again." He panted, his eyes half-lidded as he looked at her confused face. Rolling his eyes as she stared at him dumbly, he hastily began the process of removing his lower clothing. She backed away a bit, having no idea what exactly she had done in the first place. Pants now low enough to fully expose himself to her, he took her shaky hand and once more upon him. He moved her hand up and down his erection a few times in slow, pumping motions. "Like this."
Following his lead, she cautiously caressed him, watching his face the entire time. Losing himself in the sensation of her touch, his hand left hers to claw at the sheets, twisting them in his fist. He tried to fight for the control to answer her when she asked if she was doing okay, but could only lean up to claim her mouth again in response. His lips trailed down to her pale neck, sucking at the place he had bitten her before. "Kagome…" He moaned, feeling himself go over the edge.
"I'm sorry!" Kagome shrieked, shrinking away from the boy. Obviously she had done something wrong judging from the gooey liquid covering her hand.
Still in a haze, Inu-Yasha lay sprawled out on the futon, heaving in and out. Looking at her lazily, he tried to answer her, "Wha…?"
"I didn't mean to do it wrong." She whispered sheepishly, turning her reddened face away from him.
He stared at her for a few moments, disbelieving she could be that ignorant as to what had just occurred. Smirking in amusement at her innocence, he replied, "Kagome, that's what is supposed to happen."
"Oh." She said as she watched him pull his pants back up. Turning in disgust she began to wipe the milky substance off her hand, gagging as it stained the sheets. "In that case," She threw the parts of the sheet which were stained in his direction. "Those are your side of the sheets."
Inu-Yasha arched a thick snowy eyebrow at the girl who was now spitting on her hand in an attempt to clean it. "I thought I was sleeping on the floor."
"Well, it would be childish of me to make you do that. After all, you are my husband for the next six months." Dragging the clean side of the sheets with her, she laid down a ways from Inu-Yasha; slightly frowning that the heat between her thighs had yet to disperse.
Inu-Yasha's golden eyes gleamed hopefully as she snuggled into her pillow. "So does this mean you would be mature enough not to make me serve you breakfast in bed, wench?" He took her frosty glare to mean no. Grumbling to himself, he looked over the side of the futon to see Miroku's discarded scroll unraveled on the floor. Idly picking it up, he read over the last line. 'Was it good for you too?' He honestly couldn't think of an answer. Did it change anything between them? He knew she wanted to be friends with him, but this was such a strange position for friends to be in. So what did that make her exactly? While he couldn't find the response to any of the questions his brain threw at him, he did know one thing: she had earned his trust tonight. She had gone along his ploy against her better judgment, simply to help him out. Inu-Yasha couldn't remember the last time someone had done something like that for him.
"Kagome-" He whispered, only to find her sound asleep. Smiling to himself as he took in the innocence of the way her hands pillowed her face, he leaned in to kiss her lightly on the forehead. She stirred slightly, but stayed unconscious as the hanyou drifted back to his side of the futon. "Night wench." He said softly, closing his eyes as well.
The Funeral March has now stopped, leaving silence in its place. Sango is impatiently tapping her foot as she watches Miroku stop typing, her crash helmet still in place. Thoroughly out of breath, Miroku collapses back into the comfortable chair owned by Masterpiece Theater.
Sango: Well, that took you long enough.
Miroku: (Indignantly raises his chin) You can't rush genius.
Sango: (Snorts) Sure… But actually, that could have been worse.
Miroku: (Mournfully) I KNOW! Do you know how many of my ideas her little stack of rules ruined?! I had mud wrestling, whips, chains, (continues listing off various activities)
Sango: (Ignores him so as to keep from getting nauseous) Anyhoo, sorry the chapter took SO long to get out. If you guys didn't like it, or think it should be changed, please tell Rambling Coffee Addict and she will do so. She wanted to cut the chapter into, but figured you guys should have it all in one piece.
Miroku:(Still listing) And there was orgies-
Sango: (Stares flatly) You know, you are really the most kinky person I've ever met.
Miroku:(Smiles deviously) Why thank you, dearest Sango. (Turns to the readers) Well, please review my chapter, dear readers; I did work especially hard on it. (His grin becomes wider and more seductive) And tell her to let me write more of the citrus she has in any of the chapters!