Not much has changed on the Masterpiece Theater set, if you ignore the stacks of paper work everywhere that is. The trumpets are no longer playing the standard theme, but are rather playing "Working 9 to 5", much to Sango's utter horror. She tries to cover her ears and move the stacks of Spanish and Sociology homework away from her luxurious leather chair with her feet, but is quickly getting frustrated with her efforts at multi-tasking. Miroku is taking advantage of the situation and getting a closer peak at her cleavage from behind the leather chair as she attempts to bend down and remove the piles of paper.
Sango: (Looks up, spots reader) OH MY GODS!!!!!!!
Miroku: (His hands freeze just centimeters away from Sango's breast, looks around) What?
Sango: (Gets out of her shock imposed stupor long enough to notice Miroku. Growls venemously)
SMACK. BANG. BOOM.
Miroku: (On the floor next to Sango's chair in a crumpled heap) Itai………
Sango: (Returns to staring at the readers) I can't believe it! Rambler actually updated!
Miroku: (Beginning to recuperate) Why yes she did! Amazing! (Smiles enthusiastically from his contorted, pained position on the floor) I really have missed you dear readers! I missed your comments, your good wishes, even the very sight of you… Especially naked… (Smiles wider)
Sango: (Eyes narrow as she looks down at the monk in disgust) Don't scare away the readers Miroku! You haven't seen any of them naked, and you never will.
Miroku: Sure I haven't Sango, whatever you say. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
Sango: (Sputters angrily and indignation)
Miroku: (Pouts up at her in as sexy a way as he can manage from his still mangled position on the floor) Don't be jealous, dear Sango! I only have eyes for you!
Sango: (Mutters under her breath) And anything else capable of wearing a skirt… (Finding she can't look at him without twitching, she turns back to the reader) Rambler would like to apologize for taking so long. She really was quite busy getting adjusted to college, and also had to start working tutoring children, so she really didn't have a lot of time this semester to write this.
Miroku: In other words readers, Rambler is hoping the fact that she is teaching second graders to read will keep you from flaying her ass.
Sango: But don't worry, she won't be giving up on this story. She plans to see it through to the very end, even if she hasn't found a good personal secretary to help her manage her time.
Miroku: She still hasn't found a personal secretary? Hasn't she been looking for one for three years?
Sango: Well, she wanted one for Christmas, but she thinks it is a long shot, because Santa can be a cheap bastard sometimes. However she is sure the Easter Bunny will be willing to negotiate.
Miroku: (Shrugs) If that fails she can always pull out her wisdom teeth and try the tooth fairy. Anyhoo, here is Earl-san, with an important message from our writer.
Earl the Lawyer: (Drags himself on the stage in the mongoose costume looking very bitter, twitching violently from time to time. He barely is able to keep his voice monotone as he speaks) The magnanimous, beauteous, munificent, adored Rambling Coffee Addict does not currently own Inu-Yasha or any of it's characters. That does not mean she cannot still torture them in her demented, but still glorious, head. (Takes a deep breath to calm himself, but still loses control) HOW COULD YOU PEOPLE?! YOU ACTUALLY SUPPORTED THE MONGOOSE THING!!! NOW SHE MIGHT HAVE ME IN A MONGOOSE OUTFIT FOR THE REST OF THE STORY!!! (Begins to sob)
Miroku: (Puts a comforting hand on Earl's shoulder
as he addresses the readers) Without further ado, here
is the much too long awaited chapter 8!
Chapter 8
"WhowasKikyoandwhathappenedtoher?"
The towel dropped in front of Kagome with a soft thump. Inu-Yasha felt himself go numb in shock as he gaped at the girl. "Kikyo…?" He repeated, unsure of what had fallen from her lips. The girl gave a shaky nod in response, curling into a ball as if she expected him to strike her.
"She was…" He felt himself answering her before he had even known the words had escaped his mouth. For a moment the girl perked up, her blue eyes twinkling hopefully in the dimness, but he couldn't do it. "She's none of your damn business." The growl came out a lot softer than he would have liked it to. He couldn't just bare his soul because the bitch had had a nightmare, even if it had been a really terrifying one.
Her tormentor thrust himself into her once again, causing her to throw her head back in agony as he tore her again…
Where are you Inu-Yasha?
"So much weaker…"
Kagome closed her eyes, feeling the tears threatening to fall. "It is my business." She whispered with forced vehemence.
"What the fuck would give you that idea?" The hanyou snorted.
"Because she's in my dreams…" Inu-Yasha's ears barely caught the haunted response. What in the hells…?
Golden eyes pierced through her. "What kind of fucking sick joke-"
"A joke?!" She cried hysterically, "Did I seem like I was joking when I was screaming my head off?! Don't you think I would have stopped you before you SLOBBERED all over me?!" Screeching incredulously, Kagome waved her arms in the air as she spoke. "I saw her! She was screaming, and bleeding, and there was this glowing pink ball…. And she looked exactly like me!" Suddenly it became hard to speak as she stared into his tortured amber eyes. The girl's long ebony hair, tousled and worn, was still so similar to her own. She had the same fair skin, nose, even lips… "How could you not have told me... she's exactly like me?"
All she got in response was his tortured eyes slowly turning from her own. Inu-Yasha abruptly fled the bed, walking toward the bathroom. Kagome collapsed into a heap, her head sinking against the futon as she fought the sobs rising in her throat. All sound was being drowned in the whirl of confusion in her head, yet somehow she still managed to hear his voice.
"Kikyo was my fiancée." Inu-Yasha spoke in a quiet, gruff voice from the other side of the room, his head softly thumping into the wall next to the bathroom every now and again. "I met her two and a half years ago, while trying to claim something in her possession."
Kagome continued to stare straight ahead even though she was listening. "You were trying to steal something from her?" She surmised.
"Well it's not like the Shikon no Tama was hers to begin with." He defended, still banging his head into the wall every five seconds. Why was he telling her this? How could she have known about what Kikyo looked like?
"Shikon no wha…?"
"Shikon no Tama. It can grant people's wishes, and give it's possessor a hell of a lot of power. I wanted to use it to become a full demon."
"Why?"
"Because being a hanyou fucking sucks, okay!" He snapped as his head pounded into the wall again. "You're not a demon, you're not a human, you're just a fucking half-breed that everyone looks at like garbage."
Kagome sat up as he spoke, eying him sympathetically. "You're not a half-breed, you're Inu-Yasha."
His eyes closed as he took in the innocent simplicity of her statement. "Not to them. You wouldn't understand."
"Inu-Yasha, I think you're a violent, insensitive, stubborn, egotistical, barbaric ass, but I have never, ever, thought of you as a half-breed."
His cheeks flushed slightly at the warmth in her voice. "Yeah, well..." He shook his head fervently and banged it into the wall yet again, ridding himself of the fuzzy feelings she was beginning to induce. "What the hell am I saying?! That isn't the point!"
"What is the point?"
"That I met Kikyo trying to get the Tama!"
"Oh."
His head settled against the wall as he remembered his fiancée, her face soft and wistful in his mind. "Kikyo was the miko who protected the jewel, and killed any demons trying to steal it. But for some strange reason she didn't kill me, just nailed me to a tree a few hundred times."
"Why?"
"She said something about us being alike or something…" Annoyed, he turned his head in her direction, "Why do you always ask "why" wench?"
Kagome blinked innocently, "Why do you ask that?"
Inu-Yasha muttered something about "fucking smart ass bitches" not knowing their place before continuing. "Anyway, I started to follow her, just to see what she was like. She seemed so happy and content with others, yet alone…" His eyes clouded over as he stared at the wall. "One time she started talking to me, and the next thing you know we were nearly inseparable… except when she was around anyone, of course. I really hated being around humans."
"I beg your pardon! I'M-"
"Shut up and let me finish, bitch. The only ones who knew about us were Kaede, Kikyo's teacher and mentor, and my folks. We became engaged about a year and a half ago. I was going to become a human using the Tama, and she was going to give up her miko status once the Tama disappeared."
"You two were really willing to make sacrifices for each other." Kagome observed.
"It wasn't a sacrifice if I never had to be without her again, if I never had to be alone again." The tremor in his voice was audible as he sighed. "A year ago, when I came to her village to see her, I found Kaede crying in her hut, clutching a part of Kikyo's torn kimono. The scent of her blood was all over the place. Both she and the Shikon no Tama were gone without a trace. I tried to look for her, but Kaede said no one could have survived losing so much blood, and my asshole father believed her." His voice grew venomous. "After six months of waiting for some sign, everyone fucking gave up on her. My family, Kaede, and that whole fucking village of hers. I was the only one who gave a damn. But just because I didn't give up didn't stop my fucking father from planning to disinherit me if I didn't get married. "
"I'm so sorry." Hot tears began to roll down her cheeks.
"Don't be sorry," Inu-Yasha answered bitterly, his head slumped against the wall. "It's not like it matters anyway."
"It matters to you."
"Keh… Like that ever meant anything to anyone."
"It means something to me…"
He shut his eyes, trying to block out her sincerity. She has to stop saying things like that. "Anyway, now you know what happened." Turning back towards her, he schooled his features into a look of impatience. "Can I fucking go to bed now, wench?"
Kagome tried to roll her eyes in response, only to fail as the tears kept streaming. "Yeah, I guess…"
Inu-Yasha groaned loudly as he made his way over to the futon "You're still crying?! Why the hell are you still crying?!" Leaping onto the futon, he landed mere inches from Kagome, staring her hard in the face with a sour expression.
A strange and unbidden part of her wanted to hug the daylights out of him and tell him that it would all be alright. But that part was aptly named 'strange and unbidden' and ignored as such. Scowling in return, Kagome replied sulkily, "Look bastard, I can cry all I want!"
"Not when your tears are stinking up my room!" He griped, although that had nothing to do with why he wanted her to stop her crying.
Sniffling, her blue eyes turned to his meekly, "My tears stink?"
Inu-Yasha tried his best not to blink in amazement at the innocence of her gaze. "Well no…" Wait a minute, what the hell am I saying? "The saltiness just overwhelms my nose." That was better, but still not nearly as hostile as he was going for .
"Oh." She began to wipe her tears off with the sheet, but his hand grabbed hers quickly.
Groaning, Inu-Yasha exclaimed. "Good thinking bitch, make the sheets all salty as well!"
"Oh, and I suppose you have a better suggestion?"
His night shirt slid off of his shoulders and on to the bed, before Inu-Yasha began to dry her tears with it. Kagome stared at him in response, caught somewhere between awe and muted horror. She couldn't take her eyes off his lean muscular frame as he wiped her cheeks and chin. Her cheeks went a deep red as she became hypnotized by the movements of his chest muscles as he breathed. Stop it you hentai! She screamed at herself, forcing her eyes toward the wall. "Um thanks…"
"No problem," He said casually, throwing the shirt to the far end of the room. "I'll just have the thing thrown out in the morning."
The fairytale moment had ended, and the harsh reality that was Inu-Yasha hit Kagome like a stone wall. It was definitely time to go to bed. Turning away from him, Kagome nestled down into the futon, taking as many of the blankets as she could to be smug. "Good night, asshole." She spoke briskly before closing her eyes.
Inu-Yasha stole back the covers, and took a bit extra for good measure. He didn't really need them, he never got cold, but someone had to put the bitch in her place. "Don't wake me up with anymore nightmares, wench."
Is that his way of saying "Sweet dreams"? Kagome wondered idly as she felt herself slip into unconsciousness.
Normally, Kagome was very much a morning person. She usually woke with the sun; cheerfully bouncing about, trying to harmonize with the birds' chirps as she hummed.
But for some reason the mornings just kept getting harder and harder in the past few days. If only they could just come later, or if the night could just last a few hours longer, but no, morning couldn't give the overtired girl a break. Morning had to be a rather prompt and insistent bitch, nagging and pulling at her with bright light and loud obnoxious animal noises. Did I just think of morning as a bitch? I've been spending way too much time around Inu-Yasha.
Yawning and stretching, she turned to find said dog demon once again gone, a creased pillow and rumpled sheets in his place. She was tempted to get up at an ungodly hour in the morning just to be the one to leave him confused and alone in bed. Although there was technically nothing between them, Kagome felt somewhat jilted by waking up alone. Something about it just seemed so rude.
Angrily railing against him in her head, she rolled over, plopping her head against his pillow. So warm… She nearly drowned in the body heat left on his pillow. It was so comforting, almost as if he were embracing her, his pungent scent of earth and musk embedded in the sheets. A delicious exhaustion once again began to seduce her senses, coaxing her to close her eyes and snuggle in…
"I thought you would be up by now bitch." A careless voice called as the door was violently shoved open. Kagome jumped from the pillow, nearly throwing it across the room in her effort to get away. Inu-Yasha did not take notice of her shock, busy with trying to balance two trays and close the door with his foot.
Trying to calm herself, Kagome combed her knotted hair with her fingers, trying to look as dignified as possible. "Where did you go this morning?"
Simply snorting, Inu-Yasha didn't look up from his effort to close the door with his foot. "What does it look like wench? I went to get you some breakfast, since you insisted that it be served to you in bed!" Inu-Yasha growled in consternation; why wasn't this working? He had the agility to fight off multiple opponents at once, yet he couldn't shut the damn door without making the trays of food wobble. He shouldn't really care anyway, its not like he was going to make a life out of serving wenches breakfast, but it was the principle of the matter.
Kagome watched his struggle with vague amusement, before the more altruistic side of her took over and she stepped forward. "Let me get one of those for you." She said as she smoothed her sleeping kimono to cover her more fully.
Instinctively, Inu-Yasha pulled away, causing the plates tremble and slide on the trays. "Fuck no woman! I can handle this on my own!"
"But you are going to break something!" She reached to take a tray out of his right hand.
Holding the tray high over her head, he retorted, "I'm capable of holding two trays without breaking anything!"
"Why are you being so stubborn?!" She hissed through her teeth, hopping in an effort to reach the tray.
"Why are you so bitchy?!" Inu-Yasha snapped back in what he thought was an imitation of her voice, but sounded more like a dying cat in reality.
"Stop being such a prick and LET ME BE NICE!" Jumping as high as she could, she managed to catch the tray, and land on her feet. Inu-Yasha was not so lucky. The other tray slipped from his hand, causing the tray and its contents to land with a resounding thud on his foot. The dishes clattered on the floor, smashing against the stone.
Biting his tongue to keep from crying out in pain, Inu-Yasha looked from the now broken dishes and ruined food, to Kagome. "Oh yeah, that was real nice of you."
Mornings were really beginning to suck for her.
"Well," A smooth voice sighed from behind the irritated hanyou. "At least she managed to save one of the trays. Buddha knows what would have happened if you had had both." Miroku was nonchalantly leaning in the doorway, staff resting against his shoulder.
Slitted golden eyes glared back at the monk's relaxed expression. "What are you doing here monk?"
"I heard yelling coming from your room." He said with a slight smirk. "I thought something interesting might be happening, and I didn't want to miss out."
"Fucking voyeur…" Inu-Yasha mumbled as stooped down to pick up the dishes.
"Inu-Yasha! Surely you don't believe that I came merely for that ungodly reason?!" Miroku gasped, his eyes widening in dismay.
"Of course he doesn't, Miroku-sama," Kagome answered for Inu-Yasha. "You also came for my skimpy sleeping kimono."
Letting out a tortured sigh, Miroku turned his eyes heavenward. "Why does no one take me seriously as servant of Buddha?" His eyes dipped slightly as he added sultrily, "And why do you keep tempting me, Kagome-sama?" Throwing his hands up, he rushed to her side, gathering her hands in his own. "Oh, but I give in! You are far too much for me! The offer of bearing my child still stands."
Both Kagome and Miroku ducked as pieces of broken plate were hurled at the monk's head. "Back the fuck off bouzo!" Inu-Yasha growled out.
Miroku arched a dark eyebrow. "Why Inu-Yasha, I didn't realize you were so protective of your dear wife… If you didn't want to share you could have just said so."
Stuttering a few times, Inu-Yasha stared at Miroku in muted horror. "That's not what…. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN!"
"I would watch what I were doing if I were you, Inu-Yasha," Miroku smirked amusedly at the hanyou, "Wouldn't want to drop the other tray and ruin breakfast entirely now, would we?"
"I knew the idiot would mess it up." A high pitched, childish voiced stated knowingly. Shippo stood in the doorway, balancing a tray precariously on his head.
Holding the one tray in his hands and some broken dishes in his other, Inu-Yasha turned furiously. "What the fuck-"
"Careful Inu-Yasha." Miroku warned, eying the shaky cups and bowls on the tray.
"Maybe you should let me help…." Kagome suggested.
Inu-Yasha responded with a dry look.
Kagome shrugged carelessly, "Fine, have it your way." Skipping over to Shippo, she took the tray from the small fox. "Shippo-chan! How sweet of you to think of me! You're so wonderful!" She gushed, embracing the child once she had set breakfast down on the futon.
"What!?" Inu-Yasha cried, throwing the other tray down on the ground in frustration. "I bring you breakfast in bed, and you break the dishes and yell at me, and yet you practically smother the brat with affection!? What the fuck!?"
Eyes closed, Miroku sighed tiredly. "I knew that other tray wasn't going to last long. Inu-Yasha always gets so violent when he goes into a jealous rage."
"No," Shippo contradicted with a frown, "He's just always violent."
"I AM NOT FUCKING JEALOUS!"
"Of course not, Inu-Yasha," Kagome soothed as she sat down to eat "Shippo is right, you are just violent and pissy."
"I AM NOT PISSY!"
"Of course not, Inu-Yasha," She once again reassured him, even though her
mind was really on her food "You are naturally a bastard. It isn't something to be a shamed of."
"I'M NOT A FUCKING BASTARD!"
"Of course not, Inu-Yasha." She said again, with the same level of patience and understanding in her voice. "You were just raised to be an asshole."
"I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE, BITCH!"
She looked up from her rice seriously, "Okay, now you're just being argumentative."
"What?!" He asked, completely dumbfounded by the turn the argument had taken. Wait a minute, what were we arguing about again?
Picking up her tray, Kagome soberly headed for the door. "I can't eat around you when you're like this, it makes my stomach queasy." With that she exited the room, moving slow enough for Shippo catch up with her.
Inu-Yasha couldn't seem to get his mouth to close; it just stayed completely slack as if it had a mind of its own. "What in the hells just happened?!"
"I think the honeymoon is over." Miroku commented, idly rubbing his chin with his thumb.
Inu-Yasha looked down at the broken dishes and spilt food at his feet. "We had a honeymoon?"
Faster. The forests tranquility was thrown into chaos as a howling gust of wind swept like a cyclone through the trees. Birds fluttered off in a panic, not a single animal stood in the path of the demonic tornado. Trees nearly bent at the sheer force of the gales as it past by. Damn it, I have to move faster! Kouga thought furiously as he concentrated on his path.
It couldn't be true. That Hollow brat had to be wrong. He had to be; his woman would never betray him like this. Something twisted inside of him, as if thorny branches were squeezing his lungs and heart.
She had known she was his. He had made it exceedingly clear that he would officially take her as his mate. Sure he hadn't actually marked her yet, or taken her to his den, but he had assumed she wanted more time. He wanted her to go willingly, plus there were still a few other matters he had to handle first… His left eye twitched as he remembered the red haired wolf demon that he was betrothed to. It wasn't like she was even an issue, Kagome didn't know about her.
Or had she? If one of my fucking men told her I swear… No, they wouldn't have messed with his woman; they were always very respectful of his property. Each of them had treated Kagome with as much respect and care as one should treat the future mate of the pack leader, if not more so. She was revered and worshipped like the goddess she was. Then why the fuck did she get hitched?!
Kouga let out a fierce growl as he continued to barrel toward his new most hated enemy's home. Cerulean eyes glossing over in grim determination, he made a silent vow. Whoever this Inu-kuro guy was he was as good as slaughtered. No one fucked around with his possessions. Kagome would be returned to him, if he had to massacre the entire castle to get her back.
The wolf demon was so caught up in his revelry that he failed to look out for the arrow that whizzed past his head. Startled, he tripped, before gracefully doing a front roll to stand up again.
He was almost about to go find the son of a bitch who had shot the arrow when the voice that had been on his brain called out apologetically "I'm SO sorry! I totally didn't see you there!" His eyes widened in surprise momentarily. Kagome…. The girl stood about thirty feet away, wearing the white and red gi and holding a bow.
"Jeez bitch, can't you aim at all?" A sarcastic voice called from behind his woman, causing Kouga's eyes to once again narrow in fury. It was him; the figure was practically dripping in the stench of dog.
"Well maybe if you hadn't been distracting me with your incessant whining about Shippo I wouldn't have missed!" She retorted, before running towards him, concerned she had actually hurt him. She doesn't recognize me yet…
He stood transfixed as his woman (can I even call her that anymore?) bounced over to him. But Kouga wasn't prepared to deal with Kagome, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to deal with her at all at the moment. What would he say? He couldn't smile or romance her. Kouga had never been good at pretending. The hurt and betrayal in his eyes would give him away; he couldn't let her see how deeply she had wounded him. He would not cry, submit, or beg to his woman, his woman would submit to him. She would, in time, be on her hands and knees, begging him to take her back, tears streaming from bright blue-gray eyes lined with red. For now however, Kouga had nothing to say. Speeding past the girl, he immediately aimed for the dog-demon. That was the person he could deal with.
The hanyou reacted instantly, jumping out of the way as Kouga thrashed out violently with his claws. Eyes narrowing, he looked up at his attacker with an almost curious expression. Inu-Yasha was used to being attacked, heck he expected it, but he had never been attacked by a wolf demon before. They lived on the outskirts of the Western Lands, far away from his father. Wolf demons seldom made a fuss as long as they were kept under the illusion that they had some say in what happened to the mountains they lived in. "What the fuck?!" He exclaimed, tensing up into a defensive position.
Well, what good is killing the Inu-kuro if I don't tell him what he dying for? The wolf demon thought charitably. Kouga did not consider himself to be thoughtless; he was at least willing to let the bastard think about his crimes in hell. "You stole my woman dog-shit!" He announced darkly to the very pissed; and very confused hanyou. "I will be taking her back now, along with your life." Kouga couldn't help but smirk wryly; he had never thought of himself as being so good with words.
"Kouga-kun?!" Kagome called in astonishment, racing back towards the two demons.
The Inu-kuro looked up angrily at Kagome, his voice grumbling as he spoke "Kouga-kun?! Who the fuck is this guy, bitch?!"
Kouga nodded to himself, that bitch comment was going to cost him his left eye. The turd was already going to lose balls and all of his limbs, but now the eye was going to have to go to. "I am Kagome's rightful fiancée!" He declared in a voice he hoped would cause the lesser demon to tremble before him.
Unfortunately Inu-Yasha had no such response. Rolling his eyes, he turned toward Kagome once again in exasperation. "Another one? How many fucking fiancées do you have? You know, wasting my energy with these pricks isn't my idea of a good time you know."
"My, my, Kagome-sama, you get around even more than I do!" A deep voice coming from Kouga's right said appreciatively. "Maybe I should ask you for tips after this is over." Why hadn't he noticed the monk there before?
Kagome was now very flustered. "Kouga-kun, what are you doing here?" She asked, trying to ignore all other comments.
Kouga was hells bent on ignoring her however. "Prepare to die, Inu-kuro." His fangs gleamed as he crouched, readying himself to attack.
Another arrow flew by his head. He stilled, for a moment he feared it was her, turning wounded cerulean eyes in the direction of the arrow. He was almost relieved to see an old, frumpy woman glaring seriously at him. Her red and white miko outfit was similar to Kagome's, giving Kouga the chilling thought that his woman might actually look like that when she grew old. He couldn't help but shiver involuntarily in disgust.
Kaede raised an eyebrow at the wolf demon's reaction, but remained composed, coal eyes steely as she stared the demon down. Her bow grew even more taut as she spoke. "Before you kill the baka no baka, can someone please explain to me what is going on? From the beginning this time, if you would be so kind."
"As far as I can tell Kaede," Miroku mused, his fingers contemplatively stroking his sharp chin, "Kagome was bestowing some kind of …. favors," His lips formed a slightly delightedly lecherous smile, "And making promises to bear Kouga's children before she married Inu-Yasha. Kouga has come to get the mother of his future children back… and pulverize Inu-Yasha of course." He tsked dramatically, closing his eyes in solemn regret. "I tried to save her soul, really I did, but she wouldn't listen to the servant of Buddha."
Kagome balled her hands into tight fists until her knuckles were almost pure white, trying to keep herself from tearing the monk apart limb from limb. "I made no such promise!"
Miroku's eyes opened widely in excitement, "So you just slept with him?" He sighed sadly, "Why can't more women be like you?"
"I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH KOUGA! HE'S NOT MY FIANCEE!!" Kagome screeched as she beat him over the head with her bow and arrows.
Kaede eyed both of them impassively, ignoring her internal wish to get far away from these freaks as humanly possible. She really was too old to be putting up with these antics. With a long suffering sigh, she said "Well, Kagome, I really think you should make sure Kouga and Inu-Yusha know that."
Looking up from strangling Miroku with her bow, Kagome asked "Why do you say that?"
"Because they're killing each other over there."
Sure enough; Kouga and Inu-Yasha were thrashing at each other wildly. Their blows had barely missed so far, but Kagome feared this trend would not continue. Barrage after barrage of punches were traded back and forth. Kouga leaped to avoid Inu-Yasha's leg sweeping under him, only to find claws ripping across his chest.
Smirking at Kouga's startled gasp of pain, Inu-Yasha sprang back into an eager crouch. The blood began to seep through the fur on the lower abdomen of his outfit as he huffed and tried to regain his breath. Seething, Kouga growled. "You'll pay for that, dog breath."
"Keh." Inu-Yasha shrugged, unimpressed. "You're all talk, wolf".
Kouga just smiled sardonically, ignoring his pain as he drove his fist into the grassy ground. The earth trembled in response, cracks forming and breaking the forest floor. Inu-Yasha wobbled from the vibrations, desperately trying to hold onto his balance. Wasting no time, Kouga leapt forward, digging his fist into Inu-Yasha's shoulder. Hissing at the soreness, Inu-Yasha lunged back, only to be met with Kouga's foot as the wolf aimed a spin kick into his back. Falling forward, Inu-Yasha grimaced as his chin hit the dirt.
"Kouga!" Kagome gasped, worry outweighing the surprise in her voice. "What have you done?!"
Growling, he turned sharply toward her, his fierce blue eyes leaving no room for argument. "I'm not done, Kagome" He snarled harshly, "When I finish him off, we'll talk." Pausing for a moment, he added, "On the way home."
"What are you talking about?! I'm not going anywhere!" She said resolutely, moving toward Inu-Yasha before a strong hand stopped her.
"Move aside please, Kagome-sama", Miroku commanded in a low voice, fingering the porcelain beads on his right hand. Prussian blue eyes stared solemnly at the wolf. "The lady has spoken, please move away before I have to physically remove you from this realm entirely." Kouga seemed apathetic looking at the beaded hand with almost amused curiosity. His eyes suddenly widened as he felt something unexpected.
"Back the fuck off monk, the wolf is mine." Inu-Yasha announced as he gripped the wolf's tail and yanked Kouga backward causing the wolf demon to fall on his stomach. Jumping back on his feet, he began to twist his foot into Kouga's head, balancing his other leg on Kouga's back.
Twist. "That's for the blows."
"Inu-Yasha… Kagome called uncertainly, not really wanting to see her childhood friend get his head smashed in.
Twist. "That's for just busting in here and calling me Inu-kuro."
"Umm…" Kagome tried again, seeing dirt enter Kouga's mouth as his face was smushed against the grass and soil. " I really think that is enough now, Inu-Yasha."
Twist. Twist. "That's for trying to just haul my….." There was a slight hesitation in Inu-Yasha's ass kicking while he tried to come up with the right term for Kagome. I'll be damned before I say wife. "For trying to take my ball and chain without asking or at least warning me."
"Inu-Yasha!" Kagome shouted louder, her cheeks warming at the idea that she had cause Inu-Yasha to enter this testosterone fest, no matter how stupid she thought it was. Is he really doing all of this for me?
Twist. "I mean, if had just asked nicely I might have given her to you." Twist. Kagome twitched somewhere behind him. "Or at least given me enough warning so I could have Shippo haul her stuff out of my room. It's not like I want the bitch around." Twist.
"INU-YASHA!"
Twist. "That was just because it's a Tuesday."
"Inu-Yasha," Kaede bellowed, tired of watching Kagome turn purple, even though Miroku seemed to find it a turn on, "Stop or I will tell Kagome what happens when someone touches you're ears."
The hanyou went very pale before turning a bright scarlet. Kagome's eyes brightened as she turned her attention momentarily from Kouga to Kaede. "What happens Kaede-baa chan?" She asked eagerly, her eyes still shining with gleeful attention.
Within the flash of a second Inu-Yasha was in front of Kaede, glaring at her as sinisterly as he could with flushed cheeks. "You wouldn't." His voiced rumbled, but Kaede could hear the underlying plea.
"Don't be so sure, Inu-Yasha." She stated calmly, her coal eyes beginning to sparkle mischievously.
"But I keep all the demons away from your shrine!" He whined, "And I don't even charge you!" He knew he should have made the old hag pay up for his services, she wasn't even that grateful.
Kaede gave him a dry look. "We both know you do that for her." She instantly regretted her comment when his golden eyes dulled dropped downward. The hurt was still too fresh. Sighing slightly, Kaede gave in. "Fine, I won't tell her."
Instantly Inu-Yasha snorted in triumph; the tender spot she had prodded once again locked away, "Hear that Kagome? You are NEVER going to-" Jaw dropping when as soon as he whirled around, almost not believing the sight before him.
Kagome was kneeling next to the injured Kouga, eyes soft with worry. Cooing over his wounds (oh common, it's not like I killed the guy!), she tried to help the wolf demon to her feet. Inu-Yasha just stood there blinking for a moment, unable to comprehend what the hell was going through the wench's mind. He's a demon for fuck's sake! He can take care of his damn self! WHY THE FUCK IS SHE HELPING HIM!? "Are you okay Kouga-kun?" She asked gently. There it was again, that Kouga-kun thing. Who the fuck is this bastard?
Kouga really tried not to look at her, he really did. He didn't want her to see. She would think him weak if she knew what she was able to do him. The man was supposed to be in charge, he was supposed to lead and the woman was supposed to follow. But then how had she ended up here? His eyes accidentally found hers, warm, gentle, and slightly worried. And suddenly he couldn't help but clasp her hands in his like he always used to, drawing both of them up so he could stare down into the depths of her stormy blue eyes. "I'll get you back." He said fiercely. Those were the first words he had spoken to her face since he had found out she was someone else's… No, she is mine, she was always mine…. Right?
He held the intense gaze for a long while, trying to find something in those stormy blue gray depths, blocking out the angry mutterings of the hanyou, the lecherous comments of the monk, and the chiding of the miko. And then he left in a gust of wind, not really even sure if he found what he was looking for.
Standing there in a daze, Kagome tried to wrap her brain around what had just happened. "But he always runs off…" She muttered to herself, unable to comprehend why the wolf demon would be so upset that she was married. She had thought she was just another flirtation. He always went off with his friends after declaring his eternal devotion to her, he never stuck around, never really made an effort to become part of her life.
Maybe I'm just blind. This was the second person who had barged in and declared that they were the ones who were supposed to be her husband. And here she thought she never really left much of an impression with men. Okay, well in all truthfulness, she had known that Hojo kissed the ground she walked on, but she thought it was just a childhood crush he had yet to get over. She had suspected that Kouga, might feel something for her, but she had never really paid much attention to it.
A prod to her shoulder snapped her out of her revelry. "Ahem." Inu-Yasha stood in front of her, looking extraordinarily cranky, and suspicious. "Who the fuck's ass did I just kick?" The hanyou griped, barely able to keep from shouting.
"Oh, he was just a friend." She spoke casually, eyes still distant.
Inu-Yasha twitched. "Friend?"
"Uh-huh." Nodding, Kagome went to pick up her bow and arrow.
He swore he had never twitched so much in his life before he met this girl. "Friends usually don't usually barge in and start trying to kill their friend's….." Oh, there was one of those words again, "er…… um…. Friend that there with." Well, the sentence didn't make much sense, but he didn't have to say the "h" word.
Sighing deeply, Kagome turned to face the hanyou, eyes bewildered and tired. "Look, Inu-Yasha, he was a friend of mine from my village. He always used to protect me when any of the village boys tried to bully me, and helped me get places when I was running late. After he helped me out in some way or another, he would run off to gods know where and I wouldn't see him for several weeks. That is all. There was nothing between us. Yes, he did call me his "woman", but I thought he was kidding." Her voice got very small. "I didn't know he was serious."
"How the fuck could you not know?!" Inu-Yasha was suddenly silenced as a staff landed on his head with a dull thud.
Miroku's eyes were closed as he paced the two, looking the part of the sage as he headed back toward the castle. "She didn't know, you baka. Leave it alone, or we'll miss dinner."
Spotting the hesitation in the hanyou's eyes, Kaede began to push him back toward the castle. "Let it go, boy, let it go. The wolf ran off with his tail between his legs anyway."
"Keh." Inu-Yasha responded, shrugging her hands off him as he let the old goat have her way. Why did everyone always defend the wench? Since when had he become the bad guy? He glared sullenly at Kagome, "This isn't over, bitch."
Kagome didn't look up at him, quietly walking ahead of him and Kaede to meet up with Miroku. The dog demon barely caught the words she muttered to herself, "I know, believe me, I know…."
The Masterpiece Theater set is still covered in Rambler's homework. Earl the Lawyer is huddled in corner quietly weeping to himself as he scratched at the mongoose costume every once and awhile. Miroku is sitting in his chair peacefully, while Sango has returned to covering her ears to avoid the tune of "Working 9 to 5" the trumpets are still playing.
Miroku: (Smiles peacefully) Well, I hope that was worth the wait, dear readers!
Sango: (Grumbles irritably) It wasn't. (Lightning strikes close to her head)
Miroku: (Tsks at her and shakes his head) I thought you had learned not to insult fanfic writers.
Sango: (Pouts) She still hasn't put me in the story.
Miroku: (Smiles at her) Maybe this will cheer you up. I have some good news and some bad news.
Sango: What's the bad news?
Miroku: You won't be in the story for two or three chapters.
Sango: (Sulks a little) What is the good news?
Miroku: (Suddenly very giddy) I get to write the next chapter since there is going to be citrus! (Clasps his hands together in anticipation)
Sango: (Blinks) No, seriously, what is the good news?
Miroku: (His smile gets wider and more insidious) That IS the good news Sango! Aren't you THRILLED???!!!
Sango: (Suddenly panics, realizing the sheer horror of the situation) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miroku: (Speaks as he is still laughing malevolently) Don't forget to review readers!
Lightning strikes as Miroku continues to laugh, Sango continues to scream, and Earl the Lawyer continues to sob.