Chapter Summary:Bella catches Edward watching her sleep for the first time. Things get interesting
This chapter has sexual content.
Edward picked Bella up at her house on Sunday afternoon. They had been spending a lot of time together the last three weeks since their Port Angeles date. He had dropped a huge bomb on her and she still wanted to be with him. He had only given her part of his story though. There were still secrets about his past that he felt she had a right to know and things she needed to understand. It was easier to keep the want of her blood at bay when she kept her distance, but things had become more physical, and with that the more likely he would be to slip, to make a decision they would both regret.
"Where are we going?" She asked as they turned down what looked like an abandoned road.
"I like to come out to this clearing in the woods, it's a place I come to think, or just get away. I would like to show it to you."
This melted Bella's heart. He had shared a lot of personal things with her the last few weeks. Most important was that he was a vampire.
He pulled off the trail, "We have to walk from here." They walked hand in hand through the woods, soon the trees cleared and there was a beautiful meadow filled with wildflowers and tall grass.
"Wow, it's amazing and so quiet. I get why you come out here."
He led them to the middle of the clearing and they sat down. He wanted some time alone with her. As he tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek, she turned her head to meet his lips. He hoped she would still want to be with him after he told her about the heinous acts he had committed.
"Bella?"
"Hmm" she responded, not wanting to stop kissing him.
"There are some things I need to talk to you about. I know you have said you have come to terms with what I am." She nodded her brows knitted together, where was he going with this. How could there be more? She tried not to think about the blood part, but the fact that Edward and his family had chosen to acclimate to society and lived off animal blood had made that part easier for her.
"You know that once I turned I lived with Carlisle and Esme. They have taken on a parent role in my life, but there was a time I went out on my own. I wanted to experience life without them. I wanted to try and make my own way." He thought carefully about how much of this next part she needed to know, and how not to scare her but give her the truth.
"I turned against Carlisle's philosophy, and I lived off human blood for some time." Bella gasped. Her cheeks flushed and her heart started to pound in her chest. Did he bring her out here to kill her?
"Don't worry, Bella, it was a very long time ago, and I learned the error of my ways and thankfully Carlisle and Esme accepted me back with open arms. I need you to understand that while I survive on animals the temptation is always there, and your blood is exceptionally tempting. I am telling you this not to scare you but for you to try and understand what being with me means. I would never want to put you in danger willingly, but I cannot always guarantee your safety."
Bella swallowed hard. She looked into his face. She was glad he had told about this, but it did make her nervous. She wanted to be with him, but did not want to tempt him beyond his limits. She had some things to think about.
He drove her home soon after. She seemed to be okay, a little quiet maybe but it was a lot to process. Part of him hoped she would trust her gut and tell him to leave her alone. He would be heartbroken but she would no longer be in danger. The selfish part of him wanted her forever.
He walked her to the front door, and gave her a kiss on the mouth.
"I will see you tomorrow in Biology." She said reassuringly. He hoped that was true.
She went upstairs to get ready for bed. She changed into her pajamas and washed her face. As she climbed into bed, she thought back on the things Edward had told her. She would choose to trust him until he gave her reason not to.
Bella woke up with a start. There was a dark shadowy figure standing in the corner of her room. She started to scream and, in a flash, a hand covered her mouth. A soft voice whispered in her ear, "Bella, don't scream. It's just me"
She shook her head. She knew who this sultry voice belonged to, but what was he doing in her room, in the middle of the night with Charlie sleeping right down the hall?
He removed his hand from her mouth as she leaned over to turn on the bedside lamp. "Edward? What… how… what are you doing here?"
She stammered. "How did you get in my room?"
"I'm sorry I scared you. That was not my intention."
"You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here?" She demanded.
"Well, honestly Bella, I just had to know you were fine. I just had to see that you were sleeping soundly, and if I'm really honest, I missed you." He said sheepishly.
"How did you get in my room?"
Edward couldn't meet her eyes because this was the very thing he was trying to avoid. It had become easier and easier to convince himself that this was okay. She would never know that he was somehow protecting her.
"Edward!"
"Your window was open" Bella stared at him.
"Was this the first time?" Bella questioned, almost afraid of his answer.
"No." He replied.
She was shocked. How long had he been sneaking into her room? What had he heard? She knew she talked in her sleep and had been having some very private dreams about him. Her cheeks burned.
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Since our Port Angeles date. It's too much, I'm going to leave. I'm sorry Bella." He started to stand, but she grabbed his hand.
"Wait, don't go. I want you to stay." Wasn't this the very thing she had been dreaming about. Him alone with her in her room. Him touching her and kissing her.
Bella laid down wordlessly and moved over in her bed leaving room for Edward to lay down beside her. He reached up and smoothed her hair back before leaning down and kissing her with sweet kisses. She responded by running her hands through his hair and deepening the kiss. He moved to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses and fire as he went.
Edward knew he was moving into dangerous territory. He wanted her. He wanted her body and her blood. He felt her pulse quicken under his lips. She began to moan softly and quietly speak his name.
"Edward, Edward don't stop." He didn't want to stop, but he didn't trust himself, either. This close to her neck he could feel her pulse was racing. Every beat of her heart, her blood was calling to him. He didn't know how long his love for her could hold off his need to taste the blood pounding through her veins.
He sat up. "Bella, we need to be very careful here. I want to be here with you, but we need to have some ground rules."
"Ok," Bella said, wondering if she had done something wrong.
"I would never want to do anything that would harm you in any way. I need you to make a promise to me right now that you will stop me at any time you feel afraid. I may not be able to stop myself."
Bella stared into his eyes. She knew he would never hurt her on purpose, but he was a vampire.
"I will, but you have to promise the same to me. I know I may not be able to hurt you physically, but I know this is new for both of us, and I don't want to do anything you aren't comfortable with either. I can get carried away too, ya know," she said, smirking. His sweet Bella, of course she was worried about him as much as he worried about her.
"Deal," he said.
He shifted to be on top of her, picking up where he left off. He kissed down her neck and nipped her collar bones. He enjoyed the soft moans and noises she was making that let him know he was hitting the right spots. He tugged at the hem of her shirt, he ran his fingers across her stomach and trailing his thumb under her breast. He cupped her breasts in his hands as she pulled his shirt up over his head.
"That's better," she said with a sly smile. She moved her hands slowly from his hair down the back of his neck, using her nails to lightly tickle the back of his neck and back.
He reached down to take off her shirt and she grabbed his hands abruptly. He looked down at her. She looked panicked. "Bella, we don't have to do anything you don't want to. You say the word and this all stops."
"No, it's not that… I just," Bella leaned up and reached for the bedside table lamp.
"Do you want the light off, Bella?"
"I mean, don't you? She muttered.
"I want you to be comfortable, but truthfully, no, I want to see your beautiful face"
Bella blushed.
"Let's leave them on, at least for now."
He leaned down and kissed her full on the mouth. She trailed her hands down his marbled chest and found the buckle to his belt. With a gleam in her eye, she undid the buckle and unbuttoned his jeans.
"Bella, you are naughty," Edward said without leaving her lips. She felt his smile against her mouth.
He pulled her t-shirt up once again and this time she let him take it off. He smiled at her and traced her bottom lip with his thumb. They both know where this is going and neither one wants it to stop.
Bella tugged Edward's jeans down over his hips; she ran her nails down his lower back and across his ass. He was finally able to let himself go a little and just enjoy being with her this way. He had desired her from the moment he saw her but never thought he would be able to keep his want for her blood under control. He still wasn't completely sure, but he was very willing to try.
He shifted down and took her pajama bottoms with him. He looked her in the eye as he slowly moved between her thighs. He started at her knees and kissed his way up her leg.
"Wait, stop" she said.
Edward immediately stopped. Frozen at her words. The look on her face chilled him to the core.
"What is it Bella? What's wrong?"
"I... don't know. Edward, you know I trust you, it's not that. I think I know what was about to happen there and I don't know how comfortable I am with that just yet." She looks him in the eye.
"I told you Bella, if something doesn't feel right, we won't do it. I don't want to do anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable," he said quietly.
"It's not that exactly. It just feels too intimate if that makes any sense?"
"It does." He replied with that crooked little smile that made Bella's heart melt.
She reached out to him with both arms, and he moved to lay beside her once again.
"How is this?" He whispered in her ear while tracing lines down her stomach with his fingers. Slowly he reached between her legs, as he touched her so slightly.
"Perfect," she whispered in return.
Bella reached between them and found Edward; he was hard as stone and when she wrapped her hand around him, he gasped. They worked in rhythm, teasing and pleasuring each other. Bella started to feel a hot fluttering in her stomach.
"Edward," she pants, looking into his amber eyes, "please don't stop."
"I won't," he replied as she came undone with his fingers inside her.
"Bella, Bella," he began.
"Yes, Edward," she replied.
"I need you to stop or I am going to come."
She smiled back at him, while letting go of his erection. She put her hand on his chest and winked at Edward as he moved back on top of her. He kissed her with a deep and passionate kiss.
"Bella," he murmured in her ear, "I love you more than words can say," as he entered her for the first time. They both let out a moan of pleasure as he moved inside her.
"Oh Edward," is all she was capable of saying. He moved slowly, keeping in mind she was still his human girl. He thrust inside her as she moaned and arched her hips to meet him. He let out a low growl as he came inside her.
He laid down beside her with his eyes closed and reached for her hand. He needed something to ground him to this moment. He never thought he would be able to have this with her, not while she was human anyway.
"Edward," she said drowsily.
"Yes," he replied.
"I love you, too," she said, and rolled over to lay on his chest. He put his arm around her as her eyes drooped in sleepy bliss.
Edward reached around and turned off the light. He felt like he could hold her like this for eternity.