Hiya people... a brand-new day, a brand-new chapter. We approach the end, which is good... right?

Nfinity Nite Monaghan: I had you figured for a Lost fan just by your penname. I love it too! I nearly died when I watche the last episode, with Charlie... well, you know what I'm talking about if you've seen it and if you haven't I wouldn't want to spoil anything... but I nearly cried, my niece DID cry, my brother-in-law SOBBED UNCONTROLLABLY...

Carnicirthial thanks again for the buzz! I love your story by the way!

HomicidalChild: Glad we finally got everything straightened out... I do have seriousproblems but its highly doubtful I could ever comfortably write about someone marrying her father. Also in this case I think Carl would have a serious problem with it himself... no I never considered making it a slash fic, yes I wondered if people would start to wonder about Tamerlaine/Van Helsing.... and the little italicized lines are poems, I wrote them, they get explained at the end, but it helps if you remember that Tamerlaine is a writer....

And finally thanks much to Nikoru Sanzo and eris and Lady ot Rings... please keep reading and reviewing! :)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Love

The one that bends with the wind

Still points faithful to the end

"I don't care," said Tamerlaine calmly.

Van Helsing and Carl stared at her.

"What?"

"I said, I don't care. What did you expect me to do, honestly? Start screaming my head off, yelling noooooo—" Tamerlaine sat forward and closed the scrapbook decisively. "I've had too many revelations in too short a time. I'm just not going to think about it. I'm just— not."

Van Helsing nodded. "A good idea, all things considered. The less dramatics, the better."

Carl raised his eyebrows at him.

"As I know from personal experience," Van Helsing finished.

Carl reached out and grasped Tamerlaine's hand. "All you need to know," he said tenderly, "is your own worth in the eyes of others."

"Oh. I thought you were going to say, in the eyes of God."

"Oh, yes. And God," amended Carl hastily. Tamerlaine gave him a funny look.

"You both truly believe I am innocent?"

Carl nodded, and Van Helsing said sincerely, "The most innocent person I have ever met. Bar none."

None?

Anna, you were innocent, but never was an innocent so wronged as the woman before me now. Live with that.

I can't.

Oh.

That was an unfortunate choice of words, Van Helsing.

Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

In his mind's eye he saw a brief flash of Anna's face, cold and still and, in death, accusing. The vision shook him to the foundations of his soul, and he staggered and would have fallen had not Carl leapt to support him.

The friar steered him into a chair and leant over him in concern.

"Are you alright?"

"What is it, Mr. Van Helsing?"

"I'll have Hannah bring tea." As Carl stood up, Tamerlaine forestalled him, hurrying to the door in his place, so he could sit by Van Helsing and stare at him in worry.

"I've been having— dreams," said Van Helsing hollowly. "I've had dreams before, you know that—"

"Yes." Carl shivered. Van Helsing's nighttime wanderings were not so much dreams as hellish nightmares of war, death, destruction, and a fierce joy in killing.

"Well, these dreams are different. These aren't— aren't so much fierce as still, fire-filled as cold— and while normally I dream of life and its ending, in these dreams there was never any life at all. They're as far removed from existence as the remotest corners of the universe. I feel— as if I am drowning in ice, pure and cold and never-ending." Van Helsing sighed and leaned his head on the table. Tamerlaine reappeared silently and set a cup of steaming tea at his elbow.

"It's because of Anna," said Van Helsing, voice muffled by the table.

"Van Helsing—" Carl said. "Anna is gone."

"She is not gone," said Van Helsing, looking up with fierce eyes. "I carry her with me everywhere. And she weighs down my soul. I cannot bear the burden of her, Carl— she speaks to me in the night, she wants to help but she doesn't know what her presence does to me—"

Carl sat paralyzed, eyes wide. He was powerless to comfort Van Helsing, knowing himself the pain of Anna's death. It was Tamerlaine who went to her knees by Van Helsing's chair, turned his dark head to her shoulder, and stole her arms about his neck.

"You speak of pain," she said into his ear. "I know you feel it, your anguish is so real and demonstrable. I am sorry for your hurt, and for the death of your love."

"The death which I caused!" cried Van Helsing, pushing her away. "She was an innocent even as you are. She did not deserve to die. And there at the end, when I looked in her eyes, and saw the love eclipsed by fear—"

"You miss the point, Van Helsing," said Tamerlaine calmly, sitting back on her heels. "I suspect that happens rather often. Of course there was fear in her eyes. Everyone fears death. The important, the amazing thing, is that love was there still. The long and short of it is you brought to her what she feared the most, and she loved you still." Van Helsing quieted and Tamerlaine's eyes flicked to Carl. "A person could live on that for the rest of their life. Though— they shouldn't have to."

Van Helsing wiped the moisture from his eyes and looked into the clear amber ones in front of him. "You have helped me," he said shakily, "in more ways than one. And I shall help you, no longer because you're Carl's friend, but because I would have you be a friend to me." He bent and kissed her forehead softly. "You are an admirable woman, Tamerlaine Gentle."

"I thank you," said Tamerlaine. Her voice was small and in her eyes was reflected amazement at having Van Helsing's good regard to soon after meeting him. "I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"Lets," suggested Carl, "find her uncle and save the world before the weapon goes off and renders all this lovely emotional drama completely futile."

It was a good plan— they couldn't help but agree.

BREAK

Carl escaped back into the living room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"She's like a madwoman!" he gasped.

Tamerlaine looked up. "Who is?"

"My sister."

"Oh, hardly that."

"Yes, exactly that! I've never seen her so enraged! Stomping about the place raving on about this being her house and everyone's uninvited and Mother dying recently—" Carl's rant suddenly fixed on the figure at the other side of the room. "And apparently you were quite impolite, Van Helsing."

The monster hunter looked up, innocence in his eyes. "Who, me?"

"I may choose not to believe the vile stories she told," said Carl, "if—"

"If?"

"If you go and— placate her with your— manly charm." Carl managed to get it out with a straight face but his resolve was seriously tested as Tamerlaine began snorting and couldn't seem to stop.

"Placate her?" repeated Van Helsing. "No, Carl, I think you had better handle your sister. Life-long relationship, and all that."

"Oh, please," said Carl carelessly. "Hannah hates me. If I was in, say, a life or death situation, and my well-being depended on my being absolutely silent, she'd probably wave pepper under my nose."

Van Helsing waited patiently for the explanation to this.

"Pepper," expounded Carl. "To make me sneeze. Sneeze— noise. Noise— death. See?"

"Ah," said Van Helsing. "Yes, at last I do see."

"And so you had better tackle Hannah. Um— bad choice of words. Don't hit me."

"What he means is," interjected Tamerlaine, "perhaps Hannah would respond better to you because— because— well, inspiration gives out, but the general gist of things is neither Carl nor I can get her to help us in terms of provisions and, well, not calling the police. Perhaps you can do it. No, not it. Perhaps you can do better." She folded her hands and tried a smile on him.

Van Helsing stared at her. "Well, if you two have failed, I suppose I have no choice," he grumbled, and went to the door.

Tamerlaine and Carl looked at each other.

"'It?'"

"'Tackle Hannah?'" said Tamerlaine sarcastically.

Carl grinned like a wolf. "Van Helsing is taller, faster, stronger, braver, and more successful than I. I have to take what shots I can get and hope, when he falls, he doesn't land on me."

"Very philosophical," Tamerlaine observed.

"Well, I am a friar, you know."

"Aren't you due for a— what is it— promotion?"

"Not unless someone does away with the Cardinal. Jinette hasn't exactly taken a shine to me, you see, and until a more Carl-friendly Cardinal appears— I'm stuck."

"Sounds like fun."

"It's a living." Carl shrugged. "Not a very good one, but better than the alternative."

The door opened and Van Helsing came back in.

"You're not running," said Carl, "or crying. That's a good sign. What did she say?"

"She said you're to have whatever you want," said Van Helsing, complacently, sitting down.

"What did you say?"

"What did you do?" Carl wanted to know.

"None of your business," said Van Helsing.

Tamerlaine and Carl exchanged glances, then examined Van Helsing, who was looking introspective.

"I wonder what he's thinking?"

" 'Thank God Hannah doesn't wear lip rouge,' probably," said Carl.

The two of them emerged rather hastily from the dining room and went off in separate directions, Carl to put clothes into packs, Tamerlaine to speak to the cook about provisions.

Van Helsing sat behind and glared at the table.

Manly charm.

Hah.