Chapter Thirty-Four: Faith
And if the journey never ends
If my life goes ever far
The light refracted jumps and bends
My home is wherever you are
Five days later they had journeyed to London, in a carriage this time. It had taken a while, but Tamerlaine finally recovered from the backlash of emotions— after spending a day crying in her hotel room, she emerged weak but smiling.
"So ends the sad career of Tamerlaine Gentle, murderess and mental patient."
"It is too bad we could not pin the blame for those crimes where they belonged," commented Carl.
"He took them to his grave," said Tamerlaine. "I think that's enough."
"I'm anxious to see what they make of the scene down there," admitted Van Helsing. "I know its morbid of me, but honestly. Bodies of Edward Gentle and Simon— whatever his real name was— found in the valley, along with the wreckage of a strange machine? House totally demolished? The press should have a field day. I'm glad my name won't enter into it, for once."
Tamerlaine looked from him to Carl, who was smiling purely from the pleasure of being near her again. She smiled back.
"Well," she said, "what shall I do? Presumed dead by everyone, no relatives, I've a chance to make a new life for myself. Shall I take it?"
"Actually," said Van Helsing slowly, "I've spoken to your solicitor, Mr. Toddey. Very nice man, very understanding." He gripped Tamerlaine's shoulder. "He's never believed that you could have done such things," he said gently. "He's willing to maneuver things so you can still collect your inheritance. It will set you up in a new town, with a new name, and a new chance— provided you remain in England."
Tamerlaine turned to look at Carl. Van Helsing caught the look and the thought crossed his mind that he had better things to do.
"Must go see about lunch," he said, and made his escape.
Left alone, Carl and Tamerlaine sat and looked at each other thoughtfully.
"They don't allow women in the Vatican, do they," she asked. "Bit of a man's job." Carl shook his head. "I wonder what Van Helsing thought he would do if he brought back his Anna with him."
"Most likely he wouldn't have come back. He'd have gone off, perhaps, started fresh."
"Are you sure?" asked Tamerlaine.
Carl sighed. "How can I be sure of anything? I realize that Van Helsing and I are alike in that our entire lives, as near as we can remember anyway, have been spent in the Vatican, doing what we do now. How do you give up a quest that has consumed your whole life?"
"That's what I thought," said Tamerlaine.
"But I think I could give it up— for perfection."
"Are you referring to marriage, Carl?" Tamerlaine laughed. "There's nothing perfect about marriage. Trust me, I've been married."
"Yes, to Simon."
"And what of it? Do you still resent him? I do too, actually. But he did die to save me— and so I believe we must count him redeemed."
"Redeemed? Sorry, was that before or after he tried to kill me, 'redeemed'?"
"After, of course," said Tamerlaine equably. She smiled suddenly, and captured his hand. "Carl, I love you more than anyone, more than I can say. And that is why I cannot ask you to give up your life's work. You have accomplished so much more than I have, than I ever will— I cannot ask you to deny all that. And I will not."
Carl said, quietly, "What do you ask of me?"
"To love me, I suppose. To think about me when you get lonely, and wish me there again by your side."
"Well," said Carl. "I've been doing that my whole life. I guess I can simply carry on."
They went to the opera that night, for a change of pace, to get lost in a world not their own. But even there they caught emotions and truths that applied in their lives.
Ah, must I leave thee here, in endless night to dream
Where joy is dark and drear, and sorrow all supreme
Where nature day by day will sing in altered tone
This weary roundelay—
He loves thee
He is gone—
In the dark, Tamerlaine's fingers curled around Carl's hand. They sat shoulder to shoulder, side by side, and faced forward.
Van Helsing sat alone, his face set, his eyes blank and heedless of what went on before him. In his mind was the echo of a woman's voice.
And so it all comes to a finish.
I have made the world, thought Van Helsing, a little safer. And yet here I sit on my own.
Well, said the voice, there's always Hannah.
The audience was startled by the sudden sound of Van Helsing's loud laughter.
The world was a better place, and this story was over.
It was over a year later when the parcel came for Carl at the Vatican. It was postmarked London, and his fingers shook as he opened it slowly.
Van Helsing noticed. "Carl, its not as though she's going to suddenly pop out of a package that big. I sincerely doubt that she's mailed herself to you."
"Hush," said Carl authoritatively. With Van Helsing looking over his shoulder he undid the last string and pulled back the brown paper wrapping.
It was a book.
A book bound in the simple style that was the trademark of the most prestigious of London publishers, with the title stamped on the front in gold.
Life, it said, and Other Works of Fiction.
Below that it gave Tamerlaine's name as the author, with a slight difference— Tamerlaine G. Hampton.
Carl smiled, big and brave, tears seeping from the edges of his sky blue eyes. He opened it in the middle and flipped through it slowly.
Tirra-lirra, to speak sooth
No-one knows the awful truth
The road is long, the sky is grey
I've saved my hope for another day
Live in the moment, my child, hold on
Blink just but once and the world is gone
The road has been so long and rough
I have not seen life long enough
We must not go too far, too high
We've lost our wings, we cannot fly
I dreamed that once I was loosed free
Don't touch me, do not look at me
I turn to you in deepest night
To make the darkness take to flight
I've loved, I've lost, I've followed down
The captain and his crew...
There's not much left to be left behind
All's left to me and you
Lead me on the paths I ought to walk
Speak for me when I cannot talk
When once again I am loosed free
I in the darkness finally see
That at last the game is done
With my last breath the day is won
And if the journey never ends
If my life goes ever far
The light refracted jumps and bends
My home is wherever you are
"A book of poetry," he said. "She always used to write poetry when we were little."
"Is there a dedication?" asked Van Helsing curiously. "Look in the front."
"No there isn't," said Carl.
"You didn't even look. No 'for my beloved Carl and his little friend Van Helsing'?"
Carl showed him. As he had suspected, apart from title and publishing information, the pages were blank until the book proper began.
Carl smiled once more. Everything was alright. He needed no reassurance, he didn't need it to be tied down with words, to know that she belonged to him.
Now, and always.
The End
Thanks for sticking through it all, everybody! I know this was a really bloody long fic, and I didn't intend to make it so when I started, but then things just kind of got out of hand... anyway thanks again.
Especially to my reviewers: OhTheConfusion, aka HomicidalChild (and aren't you glad we finally got the not-really-incest thing worked out? I am :), MariAmber (who is starting a fan website for my fanfiction, can you believe it?), bloodredcherry, fanfictionfanatic, RogueCajunOzsGrl (who writes some pretty hilarious fics, check them out), Lady Sirinial, Carnicirthial, Nfinity Nite Monaghan (who likes Dom! Yay!), anonymous eris, Nikoru Sanzo, Lady ot Rings (who I think followed me over here from my LOTR fics), szhismine, tristar3149 (who I think wanted a major love scene or something), LalaithCat (who has a cool name), katter (where'd you go, kat?), FlutterbyButterfly, trecebo (who gave me my first review for this fic), the Hobbit Lass, word junky, and one lone review from axicana. Thank you thank you thank you for putting up with my obfuscations and branching plot points. Its been a tough ride but I think we finally brought the bronco down.
I think I will post the Lost Episode with Van Helsing and Hannah. I had some people request it anyway, so I think I'll go ahead and put it on here. But thanks again, everybody! Oh, and you can read me now on fictionpress, my penname is foxfirelightswitch. Thanks!