This is finally the FINAL chapter! I can't believe I made a single day last that long! I had a lot of fun writing it though. And it all started with a challenge! lol. I hope you all liked it! Now to find out how Sirius's long awaited birthday party turns out and the finale pranks! Enjoy!
Don't forget to read the author's note after the story!
Disclaimer: some of this belongs to j. k. Rowling and maybe a movie. Please don't sue!
Chapter 4: One Heck of a Birthday!
"Hey Sirius!"
"Want to dance?"
"Come on Sirius, Dance with me!"
"Happy Birthday Sirius!"
Sirius grinned widely. He loved all the attention. He was surrounded by beautiful girls, music was pounding in his ears, what else was there to make this party better? The presents of course!
" 'scuse me ladies, I've got some business to take care of!" said Sirius excitedly.
He shoved his way out of the crowd and looked around the common room. On the other side of the room sat James, butterbeer in hand and a group of giggling girls around him. He was obviously showing off his Quidditch battle scars again. Even though the girls had heard the stories and even seen some of them they gasped in horror just the same.
"Hey Jamsie Poo!" cried Sirius," Presents! Presents! Presents!" He began jumping up and down clapping like an idiot.
"Sirius, calm down!" yelled James, In a minute!"
"But…"
"Shut up Sirius!" James said annoyed.
"Fine!" Sirius huffed sarcastically, "I feel the love."
He sat next to his mountain of presents and waited. He sighed and leaned back in his chair to look at the ceiling. His "So called friends" had made a banner for him. –Present haters!- Sirius thought impatiently. Anyway the banner read:
Once a Marauder, Always a marauder!
-Haha! At least I have friends. Unlike Snape. Haha!- Sirius thought laughing out loud.
-Even if they are losers! Haha, haha, hahaha!-
-James's POV-
"Is there something wrong with him?" asked Julia from 7th year as she pointed at Sirius.
James looked over at his friend who was laughing hysterically.
"No" He replied, "He's always like that. We think he was dropped on his head a few too many times. Anyway…."
-Sirius's POV-
2 seconds later
"Buzz buzz!" Buzzed Sirius, "Haha, I'm a fly! Buzz buzz!"
4 seconds later
"Ribbet, ribbet!" Sirius hopped up and down, "Haha! Now I'm a frog! Ribbet ribbet!"
6 seconds later
Buzz Buzz (a real fly)
"Bloody flies!" muttered Sirius as he swatted, "Almost got him that time! Wha.. Ahhh"
Thump….. Sirius had fallen off his chair in his crazed attempt to kill said fly.
"Bloody fly!"
8 seconds later
- Wow I'm bored. What's taking them so long? They are so slow! Whoa! Did I just read my mind? - Sirius laughed – This is so cool! I did it again! I'll have to tell James about this! -
10 seconds later
- I think I'm going to whistle.- Thought Sirius. He began to whistle, loudly and rather out of tune.
"Shut up Sirius!" Someone yelled.
"Well!" said Sirius to himself, "They don't know PURE talent! I am the best bloody whistler ever! I am the whistler king!"
Whistle whistle.
"Shut up!" Remus picked up a tomato and threw.
"Ah! Tomato!" screamed Sirius.
SPLAT!
Sirius's face was immediately covered in the red juice. He licked what he could reach of the sweet juice.
"Ah, the miracle of tomatoes."
12 seconds later
"Hey Jamsie! You done yet?" Sirius yelled
"Hey idiot! It's only been like a minute!" James yelled back and turned his back on the ever-annoying Sirius.
"Oh. Ok, my bad. Continue!" Sirius yelled.
He began to hum. Then suddenly, a shocked expression filled his face.
"Hey! I resent that!" He yelled angrily jumping up.
14 seconds later
"I'm going crazy! I can't handle the wait!" yelled Sirius as he fell to the floor and started rolling around, pounding his fist on the ground, and nearly pulling out all of his hair.
"Syco fire monkeys are eating my brains! Ahhhh!"
Remus looked up from his book and rolled his eyes. After all this was a daily activity for Sirius. He calmly shut his book and walked over to James.
"He's a bit more hyper than usual."
"Yeah. Think we should just let him open his bloody presents before we have to put him in a straight jacket?" James asked standing up.
"I think we're to late."
James walked over to stand above Sirius. He shook his head.
"Ok Sirius, It is the sacred time of present opening!" James cried. Sirius shot up. "After a toast"
"Ok!" yelled Sirius hopping up and running for the punchbowl. He scooped up a glass full of punch and ran back to where his friends were standing.
"Ok a toast…" Began James.
"Yes a toast!" yelled Sirius, "To peanut butter!"
Blank faces starred at him.
Cricket Cricket"What?"
Cricket Cricket
"Hey stop cricketing James!" said Sirius loudly. James smirked. Sirius continued proudly, "I just happen to like peanut butter."
"I think he's finally lost it." Said Remus sadly shaking his head.
"No" James said turning his head to one side, "I think he lost it a long time ago."
"No I didn't! The peanut butter is up in my trunk." Sirius patted James on the back, "Don't worry."
James slowly started to back away. Everyone in the room starred at Sirius for a long time.
Then James spoke up, "Right… A toast to peanut butter… and my best friend and fellow marauder who is now 16!" Everyone cheered as Sirius bowed.
"I'm so proud of you padfoot!" James faked a sob, "You made it!"
"I know mate. Don't worry. We'll make it!" Sirius put his head on James's shoulder and did a very convincing fake cry.
Sirius looked up at the crowd and said, "We are having a very emotional non gay moment!"
Lily Evans looked on in amusement and stood up. She couldn't help it! She said, "Are you quite sure about that?"
James looked up at her and glared. "You think you're funny Evans but your not!"
Lily rolled her eyes and walked back over to her friends. Once she got there she burst out laughing.
"Oy padfoot!" James threw his hands up, "Why in the world did you invite her! Were you sleep walking or something?"
The room was silent for a moment. Actually silent. Weird.
"Ok. well." Sirius started." Presents! Presents! Presents!" Everyone laughed as they watched Sirius make a fool of himself…. again. Life with Sirius was never boring. He ran over to the mountain of presents and tore threw one after another.
After an hour the pile was half gone. Some of the guests had fallen asleep while others were barely hanging on to conscious. Remus and Peter had started a game of chess. The Sirius Black fan club was watching intently, taking notes on a pad of paper. James was asleep on a couch yelling about the pancake man.
And then there was Sirius. He had a crazed expression on his face, tearing through present after present.
He was muttering to himself, "Presents. More presents, must open!"
1 more hour later
Sirius was in the middle of the common room lying flat on his stomach, starring at the last present. Everyone else was asleep. He sat there starring at the last present with large bags under his eyes. His normally perfect hair was a mess and he couldn't see straight.
"Too many presents." He panted, "Can't open… last one…But I must." He crawled over to the last present and began to open it.
Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light. It was so bright the rest of the room woke up. A strong wind began rustling papers. A bottle rolled across the floor. A tornado of wrapping paper formed right in front of Sirius. People began screaming all around. Sirius couldn't see. He was being lifted from the ground. He screamed as well.
With a loud crack Sirius was thrown into the wall. He fell crumpled to the ground. As suddenly as it started the wind stopped and the paper floated to the floor. The Gryfindors began inching out of their hiding places to see what had happened. They formed a circle around the lump on the floor that was the birthday boy.
"Sirius? You all right, mate?" James asked as he looked down on his friend who was presently covered by a dark robe.
"Mmph"
Sirius slowly rolled over and looked up into the stunned faces of his fellow classmates.
"Sirius, You're hair!" Said James sympathetically.
"Oh my god!" Whispered the leader of the Sirius Black fan club.
Lily Evans, who had just forced her way threw the crowd started giggling uncontrollably. She stumbled into the onlookers unable to stop giggling. Who should catch her but…
"Ahh! Get away from me Evans!" James yelled as he dropped her to the floor with a thud.
"What about my hair?" Asked Sirius.
"Ummm… Well, mate it isn't that bad." James said but not looking truthful. He winced as he looked at Sirius's appearance. "I'm sure it will grow back."
"I'm bald!" Sirius yelled as his hand shot to his head. He felt hair and sighed with relief.
"Not exactly." James started slowly, "But at least it's the least of your worries."
All the members of the Sirius Black fan club were crying hysterically by now. Everyone else just gaped, backing away slowly as if his appearance were contagious. Lily Evans was still laughing however.
"This is great!" She shouted. "The downfall of the infamous Sirius Black! Someone got you good! I'll have to remember to thank them one day. Anyone have a camera?"
James glared at her. "You know what Evans?" He sneered, "You need to bugger off!"
"Ohhh! Someone save me." Lily said sarcastically.
"Is it really that bad?" Sirius whimpered.
"Well…" James started as he fidgeted with his butterbeer bottle, "Let's just say you look like you just walked through the forest with out a wand, dropped into a pit of nifflers, and was sent to fairyland for a makeover." Sirius winced.
"Can we get a mirror?" James asked. Someone from the crowd ran upstairs to get a mirror.
"Hey James," Sirius said cross-eyed, "Why is there a blinking light down there? And by the way, since when has this room been tilted?"
"You don't want to know mate."
Sirius's eyes grew big and considering his present state that looked pretty weird.
"Here's the mirror."
"Great!" Said James. He turned to Sirius, "Ok now Sirius. Don't go syco on us. I'm sure we can fix everything."
"Just show me already!" Sirius yelled.
James turned the mirror around.
"Ahhhhh!" Sirius screamed, "Th… But… wha…no… Snivellous is dead! A dead man walking! Road kill! Mincemeat!"
"Like that" James sighed.
Sirius was not a pretty sight indeed. The red light happened to be his nose. His normally perfect nose was three sizes to big and his ears, well let's just say he looked like Dumbo. His eyes were, well, lopsided to tell you the truth. Lastly his hair. It was bright neon green with the words Snape is Supreme Ruler shaved in it. Lily once again forced her way through the crowd.
"You look like a picasso!" She shouted.
"What?" Sirius snapped, but Lily was already laughing to hard to answer.
"Hey James, you think you could help me out here?" Sirius asked.
"Sure, but the only problem is that I don't know about the ears." James replied. After about a half-hour working on Sirius's appearance all that was left abnormal was the ears. Sirius felt his ears and smiled mischievously.
"I think we can fix this." he said, "Now we have a party to crash!"
James ran to the dormitory to grab his invisibility cloak from his trunk while Remus grabbed some duck tape. Meanwhile, Peter was brewing a quick, simple potion. They quickly fixed Sirius's ears.
As they were heading out Sirius cried, "I'm brilliant!"
Sirius quickly peeked around a corner. The others were behind him. His ears had been folded back and ducktape wound around his head holding them in place.
He signaled for his friends to follow with a wave of his hand. The marauders ran down the dark, empty hall. Near the end Sirius slipped out of the safety of the cloak and rolled across the floor. He reached the corner and inched up the wall with his wand held in front of him. He began humming the James Bond theme song while running around the hall dramatically.
"Sirius, what the heck do you think you are doing?" Whispered James hurriedly.
Sirius turned slowly to look at James. "Haven't you ever seen James Bond mate?" He asked in disbelief.
James made a face, "No! Now get under the cloak!"
Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, "You need to get a life!" He walked back to the corner and began humming again. "Now shut up! You'll blow our cover!"
James, Remus and Peter walked up to their crazy friend slowly as if he were about to pounce or something.
"Why are we friends with you?" James asked.
Sirius glared at him then turned back to James Bond mode. He peeked around the corner then gasped in surprise. His shocked expression quickly turned into a smile as he pointed his wand at something and whispered, "Stupify."
"Sirius! What were you thinking?" Remus nearly shouted as he, James, and Peter walked around the corner to find Mrs. Noris lying peacefully on the ground.
Sirius began jumping up and down, clapping his hands while singing, "Roasty, toasty kitty! Roasty, toasty, kitty!" He stopped when he found his friends starring at him.
"Sirius, mate are you sure you're alright?" Peter asked.
"What are you going on about!" James yelled.
Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Roa-sty, toa-sty, kit-ty." he said while pointing at the cat.
"Obviously Sirius is going to become a crazy serial killer." Said Remus amusedly, "We'll be visiting him in Azkaban." Sirius glared then began to walk down the hall.
"I know that you all must think that I am just some deviously handsome bloke with no purpose in life" He began, "But there is actually a brain behind the beauty." He turned around waiting for a reply but was facing an empty hall.
"Guys? Guys this isn't funny!" Sirius frowned.
"Yes Mr. Black, this is a very grave event indeed."
Sirius's eyes widened. He turned around slowly to find himself face to face with none other than a very angry Filch.
" Well hello Filch old buddy. Long time no see. How are you doing this wonderful evening?" Sirius replied turning on the charm.
"None of that hogwash will work on me you little hooligan!" Filch sneered, "You killed my cat!"
Sirius reached for the cat and held it up. "Naw, it's just sleeping." Mrs. Noris's head rolled back. "Well, as you can see it is a very deep sleep."
Filch chuckled eerily. "I've got you now Black. I'll have you expelled this time! Mark my words!"
Sirius smiled and then looked around himself frantically for an escape. His eyes brightened as he realized where he was. Just around the corner was the secret passageway hidden behind the one eyed Barnaby.
He turned back to Filch, "Well I'd love to stay and chat about detentions and what not, but I have business to attend to. So if you'll excuse me." Sirius turned and bolted around the corner and fell into the passageway. This is where he found his fellow marauders.
"I was wondering when you would figure it out!" James said while laughing. They heard Filch shout in frustration just outside the portrait and his hurried footsteps disappear.
"Yes, this genius mind never stops" Sirius replied, "Now onwards!" He pulled out his wand and waved it like a sword in front of him. He and the rest then set off sprinting down the tunnel that led straight to the dungeons.
It's funny how the thing or things you are looking for turn up right where you want them. This is how they found Snape that evening. He was right in the center of the Slytheryn common room with only a few of his ghoulish friends. Aside from them the room was quite empty.
"Obviously Snape isn't the most popular of the lot." James laughed, "Imagine if the whole house turned up for the party. It'd be a miracle."
They had taken a passage they found around winter second year that led to an invisible door in the wall to the common room. It put them in the perfect position to set up Snape's birthday party properly.
They quickly rehearsed the plans and put them into action. James slipped under the invisibility cloak and crept toward the small group. Remus and Peter began preparing a colorful banner, which called for a lot of difficult charms and loads of concentration. Sirius was stationed at the entrance to the passage, which was cracked just enough for him to peek out of. He stood there whispering enchantments and pointing his wand at different parts of the room, which changed as he spoke.
James reached the extremely small party with no problems. As quietly as he could he reached into his pocket and withdrew a small potion vile. Snape seemed to have heard him because he stopped his incredibly boring talk about the different potions he'd mastered and starred in James's direction. James held his breath as Snape starred but soon realized that Snape seemed to be starring past him. He remembered he was invisible and nearly hit himself in the forehead for being so stupid.
Once Snape had turned back o his friends James opened the vile and added its contents to each of the party drinks. He turned around and hurried back to the passage. He found the others whispering on the floor.
"What took so long prongs?" Sirius whispered.
"Snivellous nearly caught me" James replied.
They sat whispering quietly waiting for a sign that their plan had worked. Soon they heard the sounds of a toast closely followed by a shout.
"Excellent" Sirius whispered. They all crept back into the common room and preceded with the decorations. When they were done they climbed back into the passage. Sirius stopped at the door and wished Snape a Happy Birthday.
As Sirius entered the Gryfindor common room he was bombarded by questions on how he got his revenge. He and the rest of the marauders recounted in full detail, with a hint of exaggeration, the events of the evening. People gasped in places and laughed in others. By the end they were cheering for the marauders who had gotten the best of the Slytherins once again.
Remus finally convinced Lily to change Sirius's ears back since only she knew how. They told her it was her present to him and if she didn't change them back they would blame it all on her. She finally agreed. Sirius fell asleep that night with a smile on his face and a mountain of presents by the foot of his bed.
I think I shall end my story on a less happy note. You all must be dying to know what happened to dear Snape and his friends. He is not dead for the few of you who had their hopes up. The marauders would never do such a thing as commit murder. And of course it would be all wrong according to J. K. Rowling. Sirius has merely made the party a little more interesting.
The walls of the Slytheryn common room had changed to the colors of Gryfindor, including everything inside. A picture of the marauders hung on the wall smirking and waving. To anyone not in Slytherin this portrait would depict a scene of snakes trying to kill each other. How appropriate. A banner hung from the ceiling changing colors and shouting out the words written on them. These words read:
Happy Birthday Greasy Slime ball
Loved the Present
Snape observed all of this from his chair, as did his ghoulish friends who were hardly ghoulish anymore. To them these new additions seemed incredibly large.
"I despise Black!" squeaked Snape, "I'll get him back! But first we must find a way to change ourselves back to normal. Follow me!"
He made his way to the edge of the chair leaving a small slime trail behind, for Severus Snape was now a slug.
A/N: Hey everyone! Now. I liked writing this story. It was fun. If you want me to do another birthday tell me and make suggestions!
Sparkling silver angel wings: Sure go ahead and take one of those ideas. I don't care. Cha cha slide!
No name, lol: Gotta love the cha cha slide!
Amandika: Welcome to the club!
Now. I know all of you want to go and click that little button that says review! That counts as you official membership in the cha cha club! lol.