This chapter includes a bunch o' stuff.
Boggsley- I'm glad you liked my story, I'd say more but I replied in a review after yours, You can read there if you like!
Kralia- Here's your 'more soon'!
Miss Effie- Glad you liked it.
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Chapter Three = And his Limbs all Hacked and Mangled
And Adam and Eve were cast from the garden of Eden (which wasn't really all that bad for it hadn't gotten very good TV reception) so they did leave and did go out into the world.
And Adam discovered that the world sucked because God had spent all of his time making the garden and spent about twenty minutes making the rest. Adam also discovered that this part of the world did not have Strawberries or Bananas.
And this did piss Adam off.
So Adam did go to the gate of Eden and did say, "Hey! You!"
God looked at Adam and said, "Me?"
"Yes you!"
"Well, what?"
"LET ME IN!"
And Adam threw chickens at the gate of Eden, though not for very long because Adam wasn't in very good shape after eating all of those Strawberry Banana Splits. Finally Adam gave up and went back to Eve and never tried to get into the garden again, for he had decided it was far too much work and that cherubim laughing at him didn't help any.
After a while they didn't even think of the garden… except when God threw big parties celebrating their exile every Friday, of course.
And one day Eve had a child whom she called Cain, because she had loved God's pet snail Gerry.
And then later she bare Abel, obviously his brother for there were no other men than Adam, sadly.
Abel was a keeper of sheep and Cain was a farmer.
And God did like Abel because Abel was also a maker of Strawberry Banana Splits (which God had blessed as holy). But God did not like Cain because Cain was whiny, like his father.
And one day Cain came to God and said, "Why art thou favouring my brother over me?"
And God said, "You suck."
And Cain said, "I do not!" in a fairly whiny manner.
And God said, "Yep."
And Cain did furrow his brow and did glower at the Lord and did say, "…Nya!" And Cain did stalk off.
And it came to pass that Cain and Abel were talking in the fields and arguing over which was better, Leafs or Sens. And Cain did rise up and strike his brother with a large chicken leg.
And Abel did fall to the ground. And Cain whacked at Abel's limbs until they were severely hacked and mangled. And God came around the corner and stared as Cain spat on his brother's corpse and said, "Leafs."
And God screamed, "Cain! What haveth you done!?"
And Cain hid the chicken leg behind his back and said after a moment, "Nothing…"
And God said, "But I just saweth thee hacking your brother to little tiny bits with a chicken leg!"
And Cain replied, "He is resting."
And God scoffed and pointed at the disfigured body, "No he isn't! Looketh at him! His limbs are all hacked and mangled!"
And Cain looked down at Abel and said, "It's just a flesh wound."
And God said to Cain, "You are cursed among people! Now go away!"
And Cain did go away.
And God walked off.
And Abel's body started to attract vultures…
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Ha ha ha… not very long this time. Meh. Next will be the flood and Noah and stuff.
Boggsley- I'm glad you liked my story, I'd say more but I replied in a review after yours, You can read there if you like!
Kralia- Here's your 'more soon'!
Miss Effie- Glad you liked it.
========================
Chapter Three = And his Limbs all Hacked and Mangled
And Adam and Eve were cast from the garden of Eden (which wasn't really all that bad for it hadn't gotten very good TV reception) so they did leave and did go out into the world.
And Adam discovered that the world sucked because God had spent all of his time making the garden and spent about twenty minutes making the rest. Adam also discovered that this part of the world did not have Strawberries or Bananas.
And this did piss Adam off.
So Adam did go to the gate of Eden and did say, "Hey! You!"
God looked at Adam and said, "Me?"
"Yes you!"
"Well, what?"
"LET ME IN!"
And Adam threw chickens at the gate of Eden, though not for very long because Adam wasn't in very good shape after eating all of those Strawberry Banana Splits. Finally Adam gave up and went back to Eve and never tried to get into the garden again, for he had decided it was far too much work and that cherubim laughing at him didn't help any.
After a while they didn't even think of the garden… except when God threw big parties celebrating their exile every Friday, of course.
And one day Eve had a child whom she called Cain, because she had loved God's pet snail Gerry.
And then later she bare Abel, obviously his brother for there were no other men than Adam, sadly.
Abel was a keeper of sheep and Cain was a farmer.
And God did like Abel because Abel was also a maker of Strawberry Banana Splits (which God had blessed as holy). But God did not like Cain because Cain was whiny, like his father.
And one day Cain came to God and said, "Why art thou favouring my brother over me?"
And God said, "You suck."
And Cain said, "I do not!" in a fairly whiny manner.
And God said, "Yep."
And Cain did furrow his brow and did glower at the Lord and did say, "…Nya!" And Cain did stalk off.
And it came to pass that Cain and Abel were talking in the fields and arguing over which was better, Leafs or Sens. And Cain did rise up and strike his brother with a large chicken leg.
And Abel did fall to the ground. And Cain whacked at Abel's limbs until they were severely hacked and mangled. And God came around the corner and stared as Cain spat on his brother's corpse and said, "Leafs."
And God screamed, "Cain! What haveth you done!?"
And Cain hid the chicken leg behind his back and said after a moment, "Nothing…"
And God said, "But I just saweth thee hacking your brother to little tiny bits with a chicken leg!"
And Cain replied, "He is resting."
And God scoffed and pointed at the disfigured body, "No he isn't! Looketh at him! His limbs are all hacked and mangled!"
And Cain looked down at Abel and said, "It's just a flesh wound."
And God said to Cain, "You are cursed among people! Now go away!"
And Cain did go away.
And God walked off.
And Abel's body started to attract vultures…
========================
Ha ha ha… not very long this time. Meh. Next will be the flood and Noah and stuff.