Liz- Yay!

Miss Effie- Yes! FAR too many Monty Python references. I own the movie and I felt like it was the only thing that could be said! That'll be it for MP I hope… lol

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Chapter Four = And the Horror Began Again

And it came to pass, when men multiplied on the face of the earth, they took it a little too seriously… Adam had had FAR too many children like Cain and FAR too few children who were like Abel.

And the world was filled with many complaining men. And the Lord God decided he was sick of the shrill whining,

"I shall destroy man whom I have created -especially Adam."

But on the day God had decided he would create fire again, Noah had bought God a very nice hat with a feather on top. And God blessed the feather hat as holy and said unto Noah, "Ok Noah… buildeth a boat. Really, really big. And puteth all of your family in it."

And Noah asked, "Why Lord?"

And God replied, rolling his divine eyes, "Cause I'm going to drowneth everyone else. Obviously."

And Noah said, "Good idea, oh Lord! But what about the animals?"

And God was examining the hat, "The what?"

"The animals, Lord! Creepy creeping and all…"

"Hm? Oh! Oh yes… the animals… well… geteth a bunch of those too then." God returned to his hat.

And Noah did as God commanded.

Though it certainly wasn't as easy as Noah had thought it would be…

And after Noah had collected all of the fluffy, cute animals, he began work on the more dangerous ones. When all had been finished, Noah was about to board the ship when…

"Oy! I forgot the unicorns!"

So Noah did run out into the wilderness and hoist two fat, one-horned horses onto his back and did begin to run back to the ark.

But along the way Noah did drop one unicorn into a large, bottomless pit (which there were many of, for God had forgotten to finish such places) as was left with a single one. And Noah looked over both shoulders and tossed the other into the hole.

And Noah did return to the Ark and board it. And immediately after he did, the Lord God dumped a bucket of water on the earth and it was instantly flooded.

And the days on the Ark were long, for the Ark was smelly and putrid and not a single board in the ship wasn't covered in shit.

And after about one week the humans on the Ark began to get a little hungry.

And after about one week the animals on the Ark began to get a little hungry.

And it wasn't long after that that Noah began to go crazy. And Noah did sharpen knifes and forks and sporks and did mutter ceaselessly about flying monkeys and their size relative to dinner plates.

And finally God looked upon the earth and said, "Oh shit! I left the tap on again!"

And got turned off his tap and hopes nothing went too wrong down there.

And so Noah noticed the rain had stopped and he put down his knives and forks and sporks and flung one of the doves out the window of the Ark and said, "Find. Land. Now."

And the dove flew away.

And Noah didn't see the dove again for a week until it finally returned. And Noah rejoiced seeing that in it's beak was a Burger King wrapper. And suddenly the Ark hi land and Noah and his family removed the covering of the Ark and looked upon the land they came to.

And Noah took a stoat and made it into a hat and plucked a feather from a peacock's behind and made a hat and gifted the Lord with this hat.

And the Lord God said, "Let this be a token of the covenant I share with you."

And Noah asked, "And what about the whole destroying the world thing?"

And the Lord paused a moment, "Um… I won't do it again." And the Lord God crossed his mighty fingers behind his back.

And thus the horror was started all over again.

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There! Hopes you all like it! Review if you can, I really enjoy reading them! Next chapter I'm going to skip ahead until Moses' time.