Anyway…
To "bob" (horseluver54:
I'm sorry to hear that I may have offended you; it was not my intention. I am not adding on the bible, however, I'm merely writing a story that's based on it. I love the bible, it has so many wonderful things to teach people! You're not being rude in any way. Please understand though, that this is not meant to be taken seriously. Also, I believe Jesus was fully human and fully divine. That's what I was taught. Every once in a while, even Jesus makes mistakes because was a man as well as God. People often forget that. Maybe if you had read this you'd understand… don't judge a story by it's title.
To " ! ":
I don't believe I will be judged on this... one lives a sad life always fearing judgment from an angry God. I am trying to add some laughter to this sad and lonely planet's population. What are you doing to help? Fear and worry are two things we do not need any more of, my friend... love, laughter, and forgiveness are certainly things to be added though. Why not try seeing that perspective instead?
To "Boggsley:
Why thank you, I suppose. I'm glad you liked it. However, this is an alternate universe in which I make the rules. (Laurelland or Laurelania if you please) and so this doesn't rewrite the Third Eye. I myself am quite in tune, and so I would notice something while writing. I don't fear God. I'm merely one of those people who thinks God could use a few laughs up there in the big white oblivion. Must be boring. That's why I wrote this. Glad you liked it though! I'm working on the next chapter right now! By the way, I'm not Christian (I'm a very spiritual person though, without any specific religion). So don't try to 'freak me out' by claiming this is Satanic.
To "Almost Insane":
I was unable to find your previous review… but no matter. You are allowed to hate my story, of course, so I don't mind. Thank you for reading!
I believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I am not Christian or any other religion; I am my own person with my own beliefs. Spirituality is personal so I do not think I have the right to try and change others' ideas on life, even if I disagree. I will, however, give my opinion. The above is my opinion, the below and all other chapters are pure nonsense. Let's not fight over who is going to hell because it's not our place to decide what it right and wrong. God alone reserves that right. I think you for being concerned, I apologise for seeming offensive if I ever have, and I thank you for taking the time to read my story!
Chapter Eight The Chocolate, Sugar, and Puppy Factory
And it came to pass that Jesus grew into a child. And Jesus was a good child, except when he had excessive sugar, for Jesus was the son of God.
And one day Jesus was sitting upon a hill and 'lo and behold and other exclamations; the clouds did part and a voice could be heard from the sky. And Jesus did look up and did cry out, "Holy sh-"
And God did roar, "Whatcheth your language!" And God did cross all of his holy arms and say, "Jesus Christ… whateth did I tell you about not cleaning your room?"
And Jesus did sigh, "Cleaneth your room or I shall smite you good."
And God did nod and sayeth, "And why haven'teth you cleaned your room?"
And Jesus did whine, "But dad… I don' wanna…"
And God did furrow his brow and Jesus did mutter and go to clean his room.
And it came to pass that Jesus' Sunday School waseth having a bringeth-your-parent-to-school day and Jesus did plead with God and God did reluctantly cometh. And God did sit upon a tiny plastic chair and did listeneth as the other parents did speaketh about their various jobs. And God was bored again…
And when God did go up he did say, "I am the Lord your God!" And lightning did striketh and sheep did baa and waters did part across the lands. And the children did ooh and ahh-eth and God was much loved. Again.
And then Timmy's father did goeth next and he did own the chocolate, sugar and puppy factory. And the children did ooh and ahh-eth and Timmy's father was saideth to be much cooler than God. And God did grumble.
And one day Jesus waseth walking to school and he did hear someone crying. And Jesus did seeth a girl who had stubbed her toe and Jesus, being new at the whole miracle thing, did maketh her entire foot disappeareth. And Jesus was proud of his work, but the girl did freaketh out, so Jesus decided to work on that one later.
Not very long, I know… but I'll try to update again soon.