Title: Unfaithful 1/3
Author: Archangel
Pairing: RuFuji, RuSen
Genre: Romance, Slight Angst, Happy RuSen ending
Archive: Spellbound, FF.net
Rating: PG
Type: Multi-chapter fiction
Summary: What is a man to do when he finds out he had no more love to give? What is a man to do when he finds someone who he desperately falls in love with? What is a man who ties himself up with another loses his love and met another left to do? It all lies in being unfaithful...
A/N: This is most likely my third to the last fic and one that is for once, solely for my site and of course, SenRu Central. This is also an experimentation of the RuFuji pairing, it just popped out of my mind so there you go, a RuFuji! This is also the first installment to the trilogy of Unfaithful.
Dedications: To everyone at AKML especially Chache-chan and an ultra-delayed addition to the RuSen fics posted on RuSen day.
Unfaithful 1/3
by Archangel
Rukawa's POV
They said that we ought to be faithful to the one person we love.
They said that once we get into a relationship, no force on earth can destroy that bond.
They said that in a relationship, loyalty is the element that counts the most.
They said this and they said that…but are they really true?
They said so much but never did they understand why a man like me would be brittle enough for lack of love.
They said so much but they just merely said them.
And never will they understand why I chose to be unfaithful to the man I once loved.
"Hey there, Super Rookie! Mind playing ball with me?"
"Hn, I don't. Your ball, first to 21."
"Try and stop me then, Rukawa."
Every move. Every step. Every beat.
"Why? Can't read my moves?"
Each stride. Each swing. Each turn.
"Why the look, Rukawa-kun?"
Damn, Sendoh.
"12-8. Your ball."
You're killing me…
"Nice game, Rukawa. Treat me lunch?"
Because in every move…
"In your dreams, Sendoh."
In every step…
"Com'on, that's fair enough. It's not like I'll order everything, right?"
There goes another heartbeat.
"Whatever."
In each stride…
"Take me to McDonald's then."
In each swing…
"Hn…whatever."
You turn towards my heart.
"Is 'Hn' and 'Whatever' the only things you can say?"
Darn it, Sendoh.
"'Duh' and 'get lost'."
Why is it different when I'm with you?
"Oh…I see."
Ch. Bastard alarm clock goes ringing again.
Such a pest.
4:11 AM.
"Kenji…"
"Good morning, honey. Why are you still awake?"
And never will they understand why I chose to be unfaithful to the man I once loved.
***
"Did Kenji tell you something that he really likes or something?" I was speaking to Toru Hanagata on the phone.
"I mean, really really like. I've been asking him for days now, he wouldn't tell me."
Kenji and I have been together for a couple of years now. And since its Christmas, I thought it would be sweet of me to get Kenji something…for a change.
"Will his schedule permit a vacation perhaps?" Yes, a vacation. Ever since Kenji was promoted to that Senior Executive Officer position shit, he's been out the whole day only to go home at 4 AM. He leaves by 9 and goes through the same sickening routine. Damn, I couldn't even get an active sex life for Christ sake.
"I don't know, but could you arrange for a decent room overlooking Kanagawa or something like that?" Is that sweet or is that really sweet? God, it's so unlike me. But what can I do? I need Kenji more than ever now. Especially since I just run into someone who's so damn…damn…shit. Stop it, Kaede. You must not be thinking about him now.
I hear Toru on the other line talking about some fancy five star hotel in Tokyo. I couldn't quite understand. But nonetheless the idea sounds great. But will Kenji come? "I don't know. I'll talk him into it."
I wonder if Kenji would like that. A date in a fancy hotel overlooking whatever city and stuff like that.
Or maybe I should get him a what? A ring? Nah…it isn't the right occasion, besides the technique is overused. And though Kenji is the type to mush over the clichés, I wouldn't risk being uncool. I hate clichés and unoriginal and worn-out moves.
How about a pet? Ch. He doesn't go home so the end line would be me taking care of that bastard just in case. How can I be thinking of that?
What if I get a cook book, wear an apron and do my own cooking? I'll kill him…that's for sure.
But if it's Sendoh that I'll be giving a pet, a fish would be enough and I bet he'd go mad with joy. Low maintenance pets would do for Sendoh and besides even if I cook the most horrifying of foods, he'll definitely eat them, Sendoh is always…
No…I can't be thinking of Sendoh at a time like this. "I'll still go check out some romantic spots for you. I'll call you by then." I hear Toru-san say on the other line.
"Right. Thank you, Toru-san." I gently put down the phone only to think about someone who I shouldn't be thinking of…Sendoh Akira.
Again, here you go into my mind, messing my inner peace...
Ch. I might as well head for the mall.
***
It's unexplainable…why do I feel like this?
After 2 years, here I go and meet an acquaintance from long ago then all of a sudden I…it's killing me. Do I like Sendoh?
Darn it. Am I unfaithful now?
"Hey, look who's here? I didn't think you'd be hanging out in a place like this."
Am I blind? Am I stupid? Is this a coincidence? Is this fate? Or is this what you call the misfortune of a man without an active sex life? Why the hell do you have to be here now, Sendoh?
"What a way to assume my personality." I sarcastically replied.
"Gomen ne, Rukawa." I hear him say.
I know it's stupid and completely impolite to be looking at some lifeless trash can while someone's talking to me, but what can I do? There seems to be no way in escaping this…whatever thing that is happening to me. If I look at him, everything will go 'hell-unfaithful' again. I can't do that. How in the world could I get out of this…now that I don't even know how I got here in the first place…?
"By the way, what are you doing here?" Darn it, Sendoh. Stop talking.
"I'm looking for a gift for my…my…" My what? My boyfriend? Should I be telling him that Kenji and I are together? Will he like me then if he knew that? Will there ever be a chance for me and him to…if I –
"Girlfriend? Wow, I guess I really don't know you much about the Rukawa-kun that I admire, ne?" Admire. What the fuck am I thinking? Is this a dream? Am I so much into you, oh great Sendoh Akira that I'm having hallucinations of you?
"No." I replied. "I'm not into…I mean I don't have such kind of relationships as of the moment." Shit. Unfaithful.
God, I'm unfaithful.
"Then why are you here. Maybe I could help. I'm not doing anything right now. I'm on a sick leave."
"Sick leave?" Damn. I looking at him straight in the eyes. It's automatic, I…darn it, Sendoh. "Why are you here then?"
"I'm using all my vacations by the end of the year. I do that yearly." Then you winked at me. Oh to hell with being unfaithful.
"Oh…" was all I could say. Damn you're hot.
"So tell me, what is she like?"
"Who?"
"The person you're gonna give a present."
Right. What is Kenji like anyway? "She's stupid. She's naughty. She's an asshole. A major pain in the ass. She's a little gluttonous. She's cute. She's always smiling. She's enjoyable to be with. She's great in basketball. She's sweet. She's –"
"– someone you love, isn't that right, Rukawa-kun?"
"No…I don't." Now that I think about it…it's not Kenji. He's not stupid or naughty. Neither is he an asshole and a major pain in the ass though at times when…why do I have to think about that right now? Well, Kenji is not gluttonous, definitely not. Though he's cute and is always smiling, he's enjoyable to be with especially in the olden days. He's no doubt good in basketball and he's sweet…but he's not…he's not what I've just said. He's just not it…its Sendoh. But why?
"I don't get you, you know? Com'on," You took my arm and dragged me into the department store. "Let's go check out some girly gifts."
I was left with nothing more to say.
Because I am weak. I deliberately had myself dragged inside that cursed department store and I consequently dragged him straight into my heart.
Because I am weak. I played innocent, denied my relationship with Kenji.
I am weak. Because I know I am being unfaithful.
These past few days, all I ever think of is Sendoh Akira. Damn. I'm not supposed to.
***
And as my conscience can no longer bear the guilt, I need to patch things up with Kenji before it becomes irreparable.
But why? Why can't I drive Sendoh Akira away? Why am I being weak all of a sudden?
How? How am I suppose to patch things up with Kenji when I cannot take Sendoh off my mind in the first place.
If it was back in high school, I could've driven him away with just one stare but look at me now? I can't even look at him…fearing I might fall deeper into him.
Damn.
I pick up the phone and dialed Kenji's firm. I badly needed to talk to Kenji…
"Yes, Mr. Fujima's office please." I requested the operator. Soon after, I hear my Kenji's voice.
And I don't know if I should put down the phone, be guilty for what I have done. I don't not deserve such an angel, dammit. Or should I feel nothing and be the bastard that I am?
I guess I have chosen the second, I badly need to straighten things with Kenji. "Kenji, are you free from work tonight? I was wondering maybe we could dine out or something –"
"That's so sweet, honey but I can't." Damn. "I have a dinner meeting with a client. The one I was telling you last night, the man who's planning to invest a big amount of money on the firm – well, I need to get this client. I don't think I can –"
"Do you always have to do this, Kenji?" I said. The bastard inside of me shed off its shell and made its presence known to Kenji. Damn. "Do you always have to do this? Let me cook my own dinner and eat it by myself? Let me wash my own back and sleep on an empty bed? Tell me, Kenji, do you always have to do this?"
"Kaede –" From his voice I know he's hurt. Kenji is sensitive, I know and I'm a bastard for doing that. I'm being unfaithful and all and this is what I would do to someone who loves me so dearly. God, I'm being such a crap.
"I'm sorry, Kenji. I guess I'm just missing you so badly." And yes, maybe I just do. "Try to come home early. I'll be waiting. Ja ne."
Damn.
I look at the cursed phone silently…and as if I had no control of myself, my trembling fingers run across the numbers of Sendoh Akira's home.
"Konnichiwa! This is –" Sendoh.
"Are you free right now?" I hurriedly asked. I don't know why I did that, I just hurriedly did so.
"Rukawa? Yeah, guess I'm free. Why? What's the matter?" God, I didn't even bother to tell him who I am. What kind of crap is that?!
"Let's meet at the court from before. I'm on my way there right now." And I put down the phone, walked briskly to my destination forgetting everything – my house keys and my wallet, everything. I didn't care at all.
And damn…I'm being unfaithful.
***
"You know what, Sendoh? You make me feel like shit."
"How's that? Oh! Maybe because I made fun of you in court back when we were in high school."
"Damn you."
"And probably because I was chosen MVP before you."
"Talk about crap, man. I deserve that more than you did."
"Okay, okay. Calm down now, you drank too much. What's you're problem anyway?"
"Nothing."
"Com'on, spill it out. Secret's safe with me."
"You promise?"
"Swear…com'on, tell me."
"I love you. That's my problem."
Ch. Darn alarm clock.
12:25 PM, it says.
12…25?
I shoot up from my lying position. "Where the hell am I?" I look around and eventually I figured out I'm in my room.
But how? I was supposed to be with Sendoh…by the beach after we played basketball. Why am I here now?
"Oh God…" Oh God. That's right, I got drunk…now how did I get inside here? I don't have my keys with me…
"Kenji…" Fuck.
And all of a sudden, as if a whirlwind had entered my brain…all the things from last night came back into me.
Damn, what the hell did I say?
"I love you. That's my problem."
Shit.
Is Sendoh still here? What the hell did I say now? I need to see Sen–
As I opened the door to run quickly out the house, I see my dear Kenji by the porch reading his daily newspaper.
"You're finally awake, honey. Hungry now?"
Oh God.
"Sendoh-kun brought you home last night…I mean, a while ago, early in the morning."
Silence. What the hell is happening to me?
"Kaede," Kenji…he embraced me from behind and buried his head on my back. "I took a leave. Let's start anew, ne? I miss you too."
"H…ha…hai." Was my bewildered reply.
Did Kenji know about my activities with Sendoh? What now?
***
Kenji was true to his word. He took a long leave to be with me.
He did his best to keep me.
But why?
Why am I like this?
4:11, says the clock…I look at his gracefully naked form, and I wonder…
Do I still love you? Do I still love you, Kenji?
Yet the answer was clear…I find no spark at all…
And now I ask, Akira…why do I love you?
In my current state, why do I allow myself to love another? Why did I let myself to love you?
And loving you, Sendoh Akira…is my biggest problem.
Because…I don't think I love Kenji anymore.
TBC…
[December 24, 2003 ^ 5:40 AM]
Postfic notes: Please review! Happy holidays everyone!