Chapter Nine

Seto straightened, feeling a slight ache in his back after being hunched over his scroll for so long, and ran his hand through his hair. Was…was his heart pounding…? Yes, it was. Because of what he'd just read…

Seto tried to get control of his thoughts. "So finally he decides to tell me what's so important about the dungeons," he commented aloud, sarcastically. "After a whole week of reading this stupid thing…" But it took some effort just to summon up that sarcasm. His mind was mostly focused on the journal… and on how clearly he could see in his mind everything he'd just read…

He couldn't wait for Isis to come home. Over the week in which Seto had had the journals, it had become a habit for the two of them to meet every evening and discuss his discoveries. Isis always seemed so interested in what he'd learned… and as strange as the idea was to Seto, he actually liked being with her. Maybe she would help him think of what he'd found today as simply information… rather than…

Isis was glad to be home, as usual. Glad to get a chance to talk with Seto. She went straight to the library. "Good afternoon," she said as she reached the library door.

Still distracted by what he'd read, Seto nodded distantly at the Egyptian woman as she entered and sat down at the table he used.

"Did you find out anything interesting today?" she asked him lightly.

He nodded again and, wondering where to begin, glanced down at his journal—no, Priest Set's journal. Why had he suddenly thought …?

Isis saw that Seto's brows were furrowed. "Not bad-interesting, I hope."

Seto shook his head, clearing it of the thought. "Just… really strange-interesting," he muttered. "Did you know…" He trailed off.

"Know what?" Isis prompted.

"…that a person's Ba and Ka can combine?"

Isis shook her head. "No, I had no idea," she said as her mind grasped the surprising information. "…Do Kisara's do that?"

Seto nodded. Normally, it was only a person's Ka that went into their soul monster, if they were indeed strong enough to have one. But in Kisara's case, her Ba, her consciousness, was part of her dragon too. "That's what makes Blue-Eyes so powerful," he explained.

"That's good to know," Isis said. "That bothered you before, didn't it? How her soul was so weak and her monster was so powerful?" Seto only shrugged, to Isis's puzzlement. "It didn't bother you?"

"Yes, it did," Seto said, a little too hurriedly. It had certainly bothered him at the beginning of the week—how Kisara's demeanor contrasted with the supposed strength of her Ka. But since Set wasn't concerned with such things, it had started to matter less… much to Seto's annoyance.

Isis noticed Seto's frown. Time to abandon this trail of conversation. "So…" She cast her mind about for something to bring up. "Did Set get to see the Blue-Eyes, or was Kisara just talking about it?"

"He got to see it," Seto replied. "Kisara doesn't know it exists."

"She doesn't?"

"It only comes out when she's unconscious. Because it's her Ba and her Ka."

"Oh, right." Isis nodded. Both would have to be available for the two to merge, and if Kisara were conscious, her consciousness wouldn't be available. That made sense. "May I ask why the Blue-Eyes was revealed?"

"Because Akunadin—that guy I told you about—is a jerk," Seto said shortly. "A selfish jerk."

"…Oh." Isis was surprised by Seto's very succinct answer.

But then Seto continued, "He knew about the dragon's power because one of the other priests told him. So he decided he needed to test it."

"Test it?" Isis repeated in alarm.

Seto spoke brusquely, with closed eyes, letting the foreign memory progress in his mind. "In the dungeons, he had a system where he set criminals against each other and hoped their soul monsters would get stronger. He decided that Kisara needed to be part of that."

"Was she okay?"

"Well, when she first entered the 'arena,' she just gave up. Just stood there, didn't even try to run." Set had been shocked; Seto could feel the emotion as if it were his own as he related the story. "…I summoned my own Ka-monster to help."

I…? Isis noticed Seto's use of first person, but didn't mention it.

"I had my Ka cut through the chains holding up the platforms and grabbed them before I fell. But one of the bandits had a spider-monster, so it spun a web and not only saved himself but also tied up my Ka."

"And Kisara…?"

"I was holding her. She was unconscious, though. And that's when the Blue-Eyes appeared, saved the day, etc." Seto opened his eyes and added, "Then Akunadin said I—" He stopped, his eyes widening. Quickly, he ran his mind over what he'd just said. His heart sank. He'd used "I" to refer to Set the entire time.

Isis could guess why Seto had paused. "It doesn't matter, Seto," she said softly.

Scowling deeply, Seto continued his story with a fierce determination. "Akunadin said that Set should be the new owner of the Blue-Eyes, and that all they would have to do was remove Kisara's soul so I—Set could absorb it with the Millennium Rod. I found—Set found that utterly ridiculous, because that would kill Kisara. But Akunadin still wanted m—him to have the dragon's power." Seto found that his fists were curled, and he was breathing harder than normal. Why do I keep saying "I"?? We're different! I'm not him!!

Isis looked at the young man in pity. Each time he had "corrected" himself, putting his story in third person, his voice had grown louder and more desperate. "Seto…"

Suddenly, Seto snapped. "What?! Are you going to tell me that it's a part of my past that I can't escape from? Going to tell me that it's fate, I should just accept it?!"

Slightly surprised by Seto's outburst, Isis didn't reply for a moment. Then she said quietly, "No, I'm not going to say that, Seto." How could I? I love you. I don't want to hurt you. She met his eyes; they were angry, glaring, but also afraid. "I know this is hard for you. And… as much as the past is important to me, I wish… for your sake… that you didn't have to go through this."

All the energy seemed to go out of Seto at once. He slumped over the table, resting his forehead on one hand as he pushed his—Priest Set's—journal away with the other. I… I'm not Set. He's… not important to me. I don't need his memories. And I don't want them!! But he couldn't fight them off. No matter what he did recently, Set's memories flooded his mind.

He was trembling. He felt his eyes burning with… tears? Yes. Angry, frustrated, confused tears.

"Seto…" Isis said softly. This is so hard for him. He doesn't deserve this… Oh, Seto, I'm so sorry you have to feel this way… "It's alright," she whispered. Hesitantly, she reached out her hand and placed it on Seto's shoulder.

He started at her touch and stood so quickly that his chair fell over. Isis withdrew her hand immediately, looking up to discern Seto's expression. "Seto…!" Did I offend him? Is he angry with me? I… I shouldn't have touched him…!

Seto refused to look at her as he strode to the door of the library. I can't let her see me cry… I can't—!

"Please wait, Seto!" Isis exclaimed.

Seto stopped, but didn't turn around, didn't turn his face towards her. "What?" he asked, in a voice that mercifully showed no sign of his tears.

"I…" Isis's heart was pounding as she stood. "I… Seto, I really…" Seto, I love you. "I r-really… c-care about you." She was stuttering. "I… I lo…"

Finally Seto turned, meeting her eyes. He had managed to control his tears for a moment, but he knew the fear and anger still showed on his face. What is she saying? Seto wondered, bewildered. She can't mean that she…! His eyes widened in realization. No, please, I don't want to deal with that right now.

Isis bit her lip as Seto's eyes met hers. He looks like he's disgusted with me! she thought, alarmed. Does… does he hate me that much? She lowered her gaze in humiliation. "I really feel sorry for you, Seto," she whispered. "That's… that's all I wanted to say." Then she sat down at the table again—her legs wouldn't hold her up anymore. Seto turned away sharply and went straight to his room.

Isis buried her head in her arms. Now it was she trying not to cry. Her shoulders shook as she tried to control herself. The way he looked at me… like he didn't want to hear me at all… like he thought I was a nuisance… He must hate me……

Still trembling, Seto sat down on his bed, ready for the tears to come.

But now they didn't. Now he was confused. She… she was going to say… that she loves me. He was certain of it. But why did the thought make him glad? Was it possible that he… he loved her? No! I… I can't! We're… too different… and… and besides, I love Kisara—wait, no I don't! Priest Set loves Kisara… and I… Then Seto thought of the way the priest's emotions pressed at him, forcing their way into his heart.

I do love Kisara… he admitted helplessly. But Isis… I… I like her too…