Chapter Ten

As she walked home from work, Isis was thinking about Seto. It was hardly a rare thing these days. Most of the time her thoughts were consumed by the Japanese boy, more often now that she had discovered her love for him.

But when she'd tried to confess that love… Isis shuddered, remembering Seto's expression. He'd looked so angry and revolted. So since that time two days ago, Isis had tried to quell her love for him. He doesn't like me, she told herself firmly. It's just a stupid "crush" that will get me nowhere.

It did absolutely no good. No matter what logic she used, she still loved Seto. Even when she reminded herself that Seto had to leave in less than two weeks, she felt no change in her affections.

She reached the tomb and pulled open the trapdoor slowly. Today she was less willing to see Seto. Less willing to hear him talk about the blue-eyed girl, Kisara. Lately, whenever Seto mentioned her name, his eyes would light up and Isis would feel a twinge of something… jealousy? Isis almost laughed at the thought. There was no reason to be jealous of Kisara. She had been dead for three thousand years. At best, she was reincarnated in a form that Seto had yet to meet. There's no way Seto would fall in love with a girl he's never met. That just wasn't in his character.

Closing the trapdoor behind her, Isis walked down the stone steps with a little more confidence. Kisara was… not insignificant, but unimportant, to Isis at least. Except for the fact that the memory of her had driven Seto to research at the Ishtars' home, she couldn't affect Isis.

By the time she reached the library, Isis's worry was gone.

"Good afternoon, Seto."

Seto only nodded, his eyes on the scroll. Isis walked in, sat at her usual chair, and waited for him to start talking.

After about a minute, Seto raised his eyes and leaned back. He spoke carefully. "He really loves Kisara a lot. But I don't think she thinks of him as any more than a master." He paused for a moment, then inclined his head with a barely-perceptible smile of what Isis thought was probably relief. Seto had used "he" to refer to Set, rather than the "I" he had struggled with before.

"They ate supper together for the first time." Seto closed his eyes. His face took on a thoughtful, slightly troubled look, as though he were remembering something. After another minute, he spoke again. "I kissed her."

Isis bit her lip, wondering if she should point out Seto's slip into first person. Deciding it was better not to, she asked, "What was her reaction?"

Seto shook his head, eyes still shut. "She didn't react at first," he explained. "Not until I…" His troubled look grew more pronounced. "Not until I tried to… to undress her," he said lowly. He sounded ashamed. "Then she jumped in fear, and I noticed. She still wouldn't have done anything though. She kept saying she was my servant. I didn't want her to be my servant, I wanted her to love me. On her own will, naturally, but I wanted it so much…"

A terrible thought started to run through Isis's mind. If Set loved Kisara that much… in the past… then what about now? Isis was used to the circular nature of time. What if Set's feelings were reborn in Seto…?

With some nervousness, she asked, "So… nothing happened, did it?"

"No," Seto replied, sounding a little sad. His eyes opened and he sighed. "Nothing happened. I felt really bad though. I had almost…" Then he stiffened. After a pause, he gritted his teeth and asked Isis, "I did it again, didn't I?"

Isis nodded sympathetically. Seto didn't need to specify what "it" was: using first-person. "Should I have mentioned it earlier?" she inquired, worried.

Seto shook his head. "Just… next time…" He shook his head again, eyes closed, a scowl on his face. "Can you go away for now?"

With a nod, Isis stood, not offended by Seto's abrupt request. It was hard for him, she knew, to have his past self's memories. For those memories to be strong enough to seem like his own…

Just before Isis reached the door, Seto spoke from behind her. "Wait." Isis turned back in surprise. Seto's fist was clenched and he was staring at it as if it was the only thing that existed. "Isis, will you help me with something?" he asked.

Isis nodded, realized Seto couldn't see that, and said quietly, "What would you like?"

"Is there any way…" He trailed off.

"Any way to what, Seto?"

Seto bit his lip. "Is there any way that I could find her reincarnation? Like you found Yuugi and me. I want to find Kisara. I want to meet her."

Isis held back a surprised gasp. "Wh… what do you know about her that might help?" She had been about to ask why he wanted to meet her, but she changed her question at the last moment. It shouldn't matter to Isis if he wanted to find the blue-eyed girl. Kisara was part of his past, so she would be part of his present. That was how things worked.

Seto sighed. "I know her name was Kisara. I know she has silver hair and light skin and blue eyes. I know she became the Blue-Eyes White Dragon."

For a moment, Isis was torn between pity for Seto and a strange relief for herself. She let the pity show on her face. "Seto, if she became the Blue-Eyes, as you said, then it's more likely that she has no reincarnation, especially with the Blue-Eyes born again as a card."

Seto shook his head. "Well, it's not so much that she became it…" he said hesitantly, sounding as though he were just now trying to figure out another word for it. "Her Ba and her Ka combined to form it."

Isis's pity intensified. "That means she became it, Seto," she said gently. "The two parts of her soul are intertwined now. She can't be reborn."

Seto stood abruptly, wild-eyed. "But I have to find her!" he cried. "I—I have to!"

"Why?" Isis exclaimed. She was… afraid. And it was showing. Why is he asking me this? Why would he care about her?! She tried to get control over herself as she continued, "You've already found her. You have her soul as the Blue-Eyes. Why would you need her to be human?"

"Because I—" Seto stopped in the middle of his sentence. His face, so taut and determined before, now seemed to sag with… helplessness? "I love her," he whispered. He sat back down, looking very weak. "I love her. I want to find her."

Love…! Suddenly Isis was very aware of the dull thump of her heart. It was all she could feel. Other than that constant beat, she was completely numb. There's no way Seto would fall in love with a girl he's never met. The thought came back to mock her. She swallowed hard. "You love her…?"

Seto must have seen her shock, because he bowed his head, but not before Isis could see his cheeks flush deep red. Still numb, Isis whispered, "How? How can you love her?"

Seto gave a great shudder and covered his face with his hands. He didn't speak for a minute. Then, in a trembling voice, he said, "I… I can't help it… It isn't my love, it's because of him…" Shoulders quivering, he gave a choked sob.

The sob brought Isis out of her unfeeling trance as another fierce stab of pity wrenched her heart. "Oh, Seto…" she murmured, her voice wavering a little. Seto didn't look up; he only hunched over further, as if protecting himself. For a few moments, Isis stared at him uncertainly. Then, knowing only her deep sympathy for Seto, she closed the gap between the two of them with a few halting steps. She placed a tender hand under his chin and lifted it so that his eyes met hers.

She caught her breath. Who was it that had said eyes were the window to the soul? Seto's were far more than that. Deep and captivating, they were a ship's portals, looking out into a deep sea of emotion. Waves of confusion and fear tumbled over one another as he held her gaze.

But fighting its way to the surface of Seto's tumultuous stare was an unfathomable longing… the same longing that filled Isis as her eyes searched his, asking, begging, is this okay?, but in the end it didn't matter because she bent towards him anyway and her eyes closed and her lips met his in a soft kiss. A warm feeling filled Isis and she let herself fall into it. Seto's hand slid around her neck as he began to return her kiss. Ohhh……

When Isis finally straightened, she was smiling faintly. Seto's caressing hand withdrew slowly from her neck; she missed its warmth.

Then they both seemed to realize at the same moment what they'd just done. As wide eyes met wide eyes, Isis saw her own feelings reflected in Seto's: trepidation, shock, and a bewildered, overwhelming question of what just happened? For almost a minute, neither of them moved.

Then, trembling, Isis turned and fled.

She ran all the way to her room and threw herself on her bed. How could I do that how could I oh gods I just… oh gods how could I do something like that? She raised a shaking hand to her mouth. She could still feel Seto's lips on hers…

I kissed him, Isis thought, stunned. Then, No… we kissed. That was more accurate, because he had kissed her back.

Isis's heart was pounding. Oh gods, how could I do that? Right after he said he loves Kisara, I just… I kissed him…

But… if he loves Kisara, then why…? Does he love me too…?!

Isis covered her face with her hands. She was so confused…