A Darkened Whisper
A/N: This is my first fic, so please try to be a little gentle, alright? Umm-if you are wondering why Faust tends to repeat
things that he has once said, it is because people who have suffered a loss tend to repeat things, as if trying to force back the
death or grief that has overtaken the moment…Yes, I do read psychology books, and please do not stuff me in a locker as they do so kindly at school…deathglare I hope you enjoy the story, though it is terrible, terrible angst!
Disclaimer: Look, I have carpal tunnel, my eyes are messed up from staring at the computer screen for hours, and I still don't
own Shaman King, are you jaunty now?!?!?! Faust: It's alright consoles me Me: nn (consoled)
Chapter Four: The Regret That Visits In My Dreams
The time went on, I do not know how many days, or months, or weeks…Or even years, that passed me by during that period of time. Everyday I practiced Necromancy, and it became a regular ritual—no, wait…--an obsession. An obsession of love-the love beyond the grave-that consumed me. Many a time I had heard the phone ring, and knew it was a concerned family member in question of either my well-ebing or sanity, both of which were quite dismal, and did not answer it. With a slight simper, I wondered occasionally, what my dear relatives would think of me… 'probably some sort of odd necrophilliac?' I surmised with a rather unclean image in my mind.
I had not slept, or done much anything else save speak to my dear Eliza and continue the vigorous work on Necromancy, I was not as strong as I should have been, and it ate at me, so to speak. In the book, I had learned that, with proper use, the magicks of Necromancy could control the corpses and skeletons of the dead and mobilize an army. I wanted that. I wanted that power for revenge. To kill the one who had killed my sweet, dear, perfect rose of a woman…Beautiful, perfect, Eliza.
Over time, her remains dwindled down to nothing but ivory bone, which I kept polished every day, however, in my mind, she was like a crystal flower. Nothing could bring her down. Nothing could corrupt her.
My mind, delving in its own loneliness, began to wonder, if all of this bloodlust, this insanity, this regretful, crazed mourning, if it was indeed worth it.
No. I said to myself. It is. It is.
By what appeared to be the second year, relying solely on the shafts of light and darkness that crept from the slit in the stone wall to keep time, to my horror, I felt Eliza's soul growing painfully dimmer. She was growing weary of the desire to live once more.
If she left now, all of my work and sacrifice would have been to no avail, life would have been empty, I would have lost my purpose, and I would have failed.
"NO!" I screamed. "YOU WON'T FADE AWAY!! YOU WILL NOT! STAY WITH ME, ELIZA!!!!" I screamed myself hoarse and my voice trailed off weakly… "Please…please…stay with me." I felt her presence wrap around me like the light that wraps around the glass bead of earth, and I felt as if I were blanketed in something warm…It was a sign of her wanting to stay with me.
As if out of nowhere, I saw her glimmering figure. She was clothed in a sparkling gown, and smiling the most loving smile I could remember. Eliza walked toward me, arms spread open, and welcoming embrace.
She drifted into my arms, and consoled me, stroking my dirty blonde hair, which had darkened due to lack of sunlight.
"Oh, Johann, my love…You've grown so pale and sorrowful…Forgive me…" her melancholy voice rung throughout my head, I felt as if I had been shot in the heart. How could she ever think it had been her fault?!
"No Eliza, please don't say that. Please don't blame yourself…It was my fault entirely, I just want you to remain as you always have…Don't change…Don't change as I have…Don't become---" I said, with a thoughtful pause at wondering what to call myself. "Don't become—dark…" I murmured into her ear, softly deciding what I had become with a pang of sadness.
Eliza looked into my eyes, giving me warm solace, "I'll keep my promise…Just,…please do not change too much either, because I want you always to be my Johann, my husband…My warm, wonderful, kind husband…I love you." she said, moving out of our embrace and floating back to the dark tunnel, her shade engulfing my own.
As she turned to leave, I looked into her eyes, one last time, reluctant to say farewell…But those couldn't be her eyes…could they really?
They were blank. White…And so dead…Dear god, they were horrifying.
I fell to the ground.
"ELIZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
End of Chapter Four