A Darkened Whisper
A/N: This is my first fic, so please try to be a little gentle, alright? Umm-if you are wondering why Faust tends to repeat
things that he has once said, it is because people who have suffered a loss tend to repeat things, as if trying to force back the
death or grief that has overtaken the moment…Yes, I do read psychology books, and please do not stuff me in a locker as they do so kindly at school…deathglare I hope you enjoy the story, though it is terrible, terrible angst!
Disclaimer: Me no own Shaman King, cordially…And me still have carpal tunnel…It's rather sad, is it not. --
Chapter Five: The Way We Were
I woke up breaking out in a cold sweat, snippets of hair clinging to the nape of my neck.
"Oh—a dream?" I said to myself, pausing. "No—it was a nightmare."
At first I had been surprised at the fact that I had slept….It had been so long. Still a bit shaky from the night's events, I felt the rather random and matterless need to look at myself in a mirror, to see if I had kept my promise to Eliza and not changed too much.
I had not kept my promise.
My face was pale and pasty, there were immense, deep blackish bags under my eyes that had become permanent from lack of sleep…I felt guitly at not keeping my promise, and it took time to reconcile my sin to Eliza.
I rubbed my face on her empty skull.
"I'm sorry dearest…but this change is only for you, and when I revive you, we will go back to the way we were…" I gripped tightly the scalpel that was my security blanket, the one I had used to cure her of the disease. "This promise…I'll seal it in my own blood."
I made a small incision into my ring finger with the scalpel, which, I was surprised to say, was still as sharp as a cold rapier despite its many years of faithful use. Small drops of blood oozed from the self-inflicted laceration dripped from my finger to Eliza's, and I touched my skin with her bone, sealing the promise in my own blood.
During the next few months, I was far too shaken to attempt Necromancy, wherein all of my concentration, and a tight rein on my own emotions was prerequisite. Instead, I tested the limits of the human body, using myself as a specimen.
I found a saturnine pleasure in seeing my own blood instead of someone else's, and constantly amused my twisted thoughts by seeing how much blood I could afford to lose before falling into a short coma or possibly knocking upon death's door.
It was…nearly hilarious.
But yes, I knew it would worry Eliza much more than even a natural disaster could, and when I felt the sticky, metallic blood lingering in my mouth, I felt horrible about it…However, I saw it…as a sort of punishment upon myself for being unable to rescue my maiden from the depths of darkness…The regret is always gnawing at my soul, but, then again, so is the desire to become stronger.
End of Chapter Five
A/N: The Author's Notes disappeared in Chapter Four, simply because I was far too lazy to write one…I'm numb from sitting in this chair all day, but Faust shall prevail! Only five more Chapters to go, and if you review, I might get done before midnight arrives! Oh, happy happy joy joy! And—please review, or the last chapter may suddenly be put off by a mysterious circumstance….winks at Faust
Faust: thumbs up Mien Gott!
Me: Bah, ich weiss nicht!
Faust: Oh, no…Sehr hubsch!
Me: Really?! starry eyes
Faust: Oh, but not as much as Frauline Eliza.
Me: I know…But we share the strange link of being able to speak three languages and mixing them together, therefore confusing the masses and becoming…
MeFaust: STARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sparkly lights
Ja Ne! (I shouldn't be doing A/N in script…sweatdrop)