New year's resolution
You know, you would think that if you really try to focus on not doing a certain thing, you would succeed, right? Wrong. Well, for me anyway.
You see, I tried not to think about him, I really did. But I can't help it! Everything seems to trigger off some kind of thought-- or more recently-- an image of him. If I'm looking through the window, at the sky, I see his eyes. Then, when I hastily shift my eyes to the wooden window pane, I see his hair falling into his eyes. I'm really messed up in there. There's a knock on my door and I quickly compose myself; you know, with all the drooling and all. It's my hikari, Yugi. He wants to know why I'm sat here all by myself. I just shrug.
"Yami, it's bad to be secluded in your room all day, you know. Especially since it's new year "
I look at him suspiciously. "Is this heading somewhere?"
"Well, now that you mention it, yes it is." he looks ecstatic while I get nervous as I don't really like surprises. "Mokuba just phoned and asked us to come to his new year's party. He's invited the whole gang, too! Won't this be fun, Yami?"
I now look at him doubtfully. I don't think it's a good idea to go to his house, especially with my state of mind. I might pass out, you know! I explained to Yugi that I wanted a quite new year, since Christmas at Malik's place had gone a bit out of hand, but of course that was predictable since Bakura was on the guest list.
Yugi looks at me with his cute big eyes that are impossible to say 'no' to. "Please, Yami. I really wanted to go." Oh God, he's starting to tear now. Honestly, he must practise the Cute Look everyday. Just like Seto must practise the Cold Look. See, there I go again. Stop thinking about him, dammit!
I give in and say that we'll go. He almost knocks me over as he hugs me, then runs out to get changed. I slowly drag myself to my wardrobe and pick out a red hooded jacket with a normal pair of jeans. I still think this is all a big mistake. I don't know if I can control myself when he's in the same room as me. It's different in school. I have distractions. But now I might have to converse with him. Plus there's this obsession with mistletoe going around. It's frightening, thinking about all the ways in which I can mess up.
"Yami--! Hurry up, already!"
This is easier than I thought. Seto's nowhere to be seen. Despite the fact that this is a good thing, I feel kind of disappointed. He should be here, this is his party after all! Now I'm all depressed again. I've sat down on the couch, away from the rest of the gang, nearest to the fireplace and the Christmas tree. It looks beautiful, with all the decorations shining in the firelight. Unfortunately, the tranquillity is broken when the gang enter the room.
"C'mon, Yami, it's almost midnight!" shouts Yugi.
"Yeah, which means you better find the person who you want to kiss" adds Honda and receives a dirty look from Otogi. Those two make me laugh. It's obvious they have feelings for each other, I don't see why they have to do the whole I-love-Serenity charade. While I'm too busy over the love lives of my friends, I completely fail to see the object of my affection enter the room.
"Big brother! Finally, you're finished!" Mokuba hugs Seto. Geez, what I wouldn't give up to be that kid right now. Seto's wearing a light blue polo-neck-- which enhances his intense blue eyes-- with jeans, which show off his extremely long legs. He smiles at Mokuba and nods a sign of acknowledgement to the rest of us. I notice his gaze doesn't even pass me. Why on earth did I agree to come here in the first place? Everyone is now talking about their new year's resolution. Mai asked me what mine was. Inwardly, I said to stop thinking about Seto, but to her I said something about school work.
"Guys" Ryou looks at his watch. "It's two minutes till midnight!"
"Jou, could you switch the lights off, since you're the closet?" Mokuba asks.
"Sure." Jou flicks the switch off. Suddenly I'm really nervous. Seto's in the same room as me and even better, he's probably a few steps away. If I kiss him now, he can't blame me because it's dark and I could just say I was looking for Anzu. Gods, this is just too good of an opportunity to miss. Suddenly coming here doesn't seam like such a bad idea after all. A glow lights up from the corner of the room, as Ryou checks his watch.
"20 seconds everyone!" my heart beat suddenly increases and I move soundlessly across the room, looking for Seto. This is the moment I've fanaticised probably a thousand times and it's finally going to happen!
"10, 9, 8, 7" I feel someone close to me and it possibly might be Seto!
"6, 5, 4, 3" everyone has joined the countdown. This is it, it's finally going to happen!
"2, 1, Happy New Year!" everyone screams and I lean forward to kiss Seto. His lips are sort of dry, but whatever, I can deal with that. Someone switches the lights on and I let out a soft scream. I knew this was too good to be true. I had not in fact kissed Seto, but Malik instead.
"Aww shucks, Yami. I didn't know you cared!" he laughs as he pats me on the back. I laugh uncomfortably, while looking around the room. Where the heck is Seto? He's disappeared! Unbelievable! The one chance I get and he has to spoil it. I'm really frustrated now. I need to get some fresh air.
"Hey Mokuba? Is it okay for me to go out onto the balcony?"
He turns round. "Sure! It's on the first landing towards the left"
"Thanks" I head towards the stairs. As I reach the balcony, I notice the doors are already open-- but that might be to let some air come in-- so I don't go any further into it. The balcony overviews the gigantic garden, filled with lots of beautiful flowers, fountains and benches on the pebbly spaces. It's nice. "You should just forget about him, you know." I tell myself out loud. "There's no point in keeping hope, he just doesn't feel the same way about you. He must have a thousands girls after him, God knows he's handsome enough. Then there's the fact that he's rich and he probably has some blonde tart or something." I sigh as I close my eyes, breathing in the cool air. All of a sudden, there's a warm presence on my right. I turn around and jump about ten foot in the air.
"S-Seto? What are you doing h-here?" I stutter, being surprised and all.
"I live here" he says obviously.
"No, I-I mean" I take a deep breath to calm down. "How long have you been here?" I ask fearfully. What if he heard all of that? Gods, if he did, I'll…I'll jump off this balcony! To run away, or course; I'm already dead.
"Oh you know" he shrugs as if it doesn't matter. "So, how's the party?" I stare at him in shock. That's the last thing I want to talk about. I need to find out how much he heard, dammit! I'll have to carry on as normal though.
"Um, the party's great. Thanks for inviting us." he slightly waves his hand as to say 'no big deal'. There's a disturbing silence now.
"Have you decided on a new year's resolution yet?" he asked casually. My mind went blank. Seriously, he does that to people. It's that gorgeous voice that's so distracting.
"Um…" I didn't really feel like lying to him, though I'm sure even if I had wanted to, I couldn't. "I need to stop thinking about someone."
"Oh?" his voice laced with interest. "Who?"
"Oh just someone I loved, but I'm sure that person doesn't feel the same way about me." I sighed.
"And why do you think that? Has that person told you that?"
"No…but it's obvious that that person doesn't"
"What does that person do, that makes you believe that the person doesn't like you?"
"Well, I don't know. I guess it's what that person doesn't do" I'm confused. Why does Seto care about all of this. Though it is sort of amusing, since I'm talking about him.
"And what doesn't that person do?"
"The person could tell me how they feel. That would be a big giveaway, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess." he starts to walk a bit closer to me now. I automatically take a step back, a bit surprised. "But what if that person was feeling the same way as you and was too afraid to speak out their feelings?" he looked directly into my eyes.
I noticed I was getting closer to the edge, and pretty soon I'd have no space to move back. He was still getting closer to me and my brain stopped working. "…He's not like tha--" Shoot! Why did I have to say that! I'm done for…
"Oh, so that person's a 'he'?" I look away on to the floor. Ahh, my cheeks are on fire! Despite the fact that this is heaven, I need to get out! Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if I don't.
"It's cold out here, I should be get--" before I could even attempt to get out, Seto grabs my hands and starts to walk towards the wall.
"What's the rush? I haven't even finished saying what I was planning to say." Oh my God, he's going to embarrass me, isn't he? I've really got to escape now.
"Wait, before you say anything, let me just clarify that--" in all the anxiety, I didn't even notice when Seto leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. This is the moment where I pull my Blank Act, but gladly it was only for a second. I kissed back hungrily, though not violently; I don't want to hurt him. His lips are so soft; I could just kill myself for thinking Malik was Seto.
After what seems like eternity, we break apart for air. My cheeks are glowing again, and his are tinted a faint rose. I'm lost for words so I just stare at him.
"How big was that giveaway?" I blush--if possible-- even more and look back to the floor. I can't believe what's just happened! "Oh, and by the way, blondes are not my type. I usually go for tri-colours." It takes me a while to figure out what he's just said--me being dense, and all-- but when I do manage to, I'm about to protest that he shouldn't have been listening to that, but Seto has another idea. Once again I'm silenced by his lips. I guess this is a happy new year.
Happy New Year guys!