Disclaimer: ...Me no own...don't rub it in...

A/N People always call Kikyo a heartless bitch who should rot in hell, however do they ever think how she feels? You know, It's truly not her fault that she is driven by hatred. She didn't ask to be reawoken, she know that IY hadn't really betrayed her. And it's not her fault, other than the fact that she stumbled away, thatthe only has a little bit of her soul left to her was hatred.
I personally like Kikyo better than Kagome...this is my opinion, and should anyone flame me for my opinion, then they're being stupid. If you're a Kikyo hater, then why are you reading this?!

I wonder...
By: Cringe

I wonder…
I wonder why….
Why are we so different?
I am her
She is me
We are the same person
So why is it, that we are so different

How is it that we are the same,
Yet, she is more accepting towards others?
She is…kinder…more naïve
Than I was…than…I am…
Perhaps she is me, as I would have been
Had I not had all the responsibilities of a priestess
Piled upon me

I look at her, and feel my fake body go numb
I hear her laughter, and Inuyasha's response, and feel deaf
I see their hidden love for each other reflected in their eyes,
The trust
And feel a pang in my feeble, fake heart
I see them with their friends
I watch them squabble and fight
Then make up,
I feel my soul tear in two
I feel hatred for him well up inside me
I feel this hatred within me
I wish to drag him to hell
Yet, I still love him in my own twisted way
I love him, yet I do not love him

It is a past love, yet still haunts me
He has moved on, or rather
He will move on
While I'll
I'll stay the same
I'll stay the same for forever,
This small section of a soul
A terrible mimicry of the pure soul I once was
Trapped within a body of soil and clay…
How can I not hate him?
He was to have perished
Sealed forever to that sacred tree
We were both to be dead
Yet he cheated his death and was awaken by none other than…me
He escaped unscathed, apart from inner emotional turmoil…
While I…
I was resurrected into a dead body
A body of soil from my grave, and the ash of my flesh and bones

I hate him, yet I do not hate him
How can you hate
One you love eternally?
I wonder
Why I could not accept him
For him

That girl
My reincarnation
Loves him for who he is
Yet I asked him to turn human
For my own selfish desires
Why is it?
Did I really love him?
Yes I did…I still do
Did I simply wish to become a normal girl?
Yes…
Was that the true meaning, of why I asked him to turn human?
To use the jewel?

I wonder,
Is it because I did not accept him for who he was,
That our trust was so fragile?
Our love not so strong as we believed?
That girl is remarkable…
She brought him out of his shell

Yet still I can't help wonder…
Wonder what-ifs, and whys
Wonder why I took care of that accursed thief
What if I had never met Inuyasha
Would I still have died?
I now think, and I believe I would have still died
My fate was sealed the moment I took the responsibility of guarding the sacred jewel.

Little good my wonderings will do for me
Now that I am dead
Yet I still wonder
I wonder whys and what-ifs
Is it bad for the dead,
To wonder and reflect on their past, on their life?
I truly wonder, if I had not taken care of Onigumo
If I would be the one, to sit beside Inuyasha
To look at him,
And gaze at him
To see my love for him
Reflected back at me in his golden eyes.

I wonder
Why I let the anger and betrayal consume me
When we met at my revival
I wonder why I had such a strong urge to live, when I was dead
When that girl called my/her soul back, why did I resist?
Why did I not just sink back into oblivion, and rest?
Is it because I could not truly rest in peace because I needed no revenge
But and understanding of what had happened?
Yet then why did I stumble away?
And let my drive on life to be one of rage and anger?

Now I know
Yet I still seek revenge,
But this time by plotting the downfall of the demon Naraku
Yet I still hate him…I still hate Inuyasha
Yet I still love him…
I wonder why?

-End-

A/N: If you liked this, then read my other IY poem called "Till I met you" Follows this Poem style, is a lot better, and is from Inuyasha's POV.