June 15, Monday

10:00 a.m.

Really need to go downstairs and find tape so can wrap it around my head in manner of Christmas present. Some may see this as odd, but there is actually a very logical reason as follows: so when Mum traps me in a corner and tutors me in the fine art of bath towel folding again, the little bits won't go flying everywhere when head suddenly explodes. Simple matter of cleanliness, really. Must get out of the house. Will go over to the Burrow and remind self what nice, normal family is like.

3:00 p.m.

Upon arrival, Penelope Clearwater was in the living room with her tummy swollen and hands on her back bracing herself. Looked as if she had simply stuffed large pillows under robes, but with Percy's sudden gain of confidence that was surely there if only because Penelope's swollen stomach and maternity robes were undisputable evidence of his sex life, doubted the pillow theory could hold its own. Tried the chit chat thing and found that I had absolutely nothing in common with a woman three years my senior who has already decided that being a medi-witch's assistant in training is the closest thing to a career she will ever need as she would much rather prefer sitting at home knitting socks and raising snot nosed children while her husband, a dignified brown-noser for the ministry, brings home the bacon. Who would have thought? Was very relieved when Ginny appeared and dragged me outside in mid breath intake before I went into full rant mode. Felt very hypocritical about Penelope's reliance on her male counterpart when Ginny informed me that Professor Lupin had stopped by to see Harry earlier in the morning. Of course, her mother had informed him that he looked like a bag of bones and would be present for dinner whether he liked it or not so it would be best if he cancelled any previous engagements. Love Mrs. Weasley. Didn't even bother saying goodbye, simply apparated with a tell tale crack back to my bedroom. Sure Ginny will understand. Only have three hours to perform some kind of miracle. Must manage to look sexy, but not tartish, mature, but not in manner of menopause all in an effort as to somehow reverse effects from Firday Night of Embarrassment. Perhaps will even bring purse as carrying a purse is somehow a sign of womanhood. Used to carry purses when I was a child, yes, but the insides were only filled with crayons in order to mark my territory (restaurant tables, walls, tapestry, etc., etc.) whenever saw fit. Will fill purse with womanly things such as… Am simply not feminine enough. Know Ginny always carries around a brush, but the thing upon my head is where hair brushes go to die. Through out rogue after run in with Ron in the Great Hall so have no Muggle cosmetics to fit smugly into mature woman like purse less the miniature hot pink lipstick and matching nail polish that received for birthday when seven (and still, sadly, in the drawers of the vanity somewhere as could no leave them completely empty) still count. Hmm, must work on becoming more feminine. Turn creature on top of head into flowing mane of elegantly wound curls and the like, perhaps do something about breasts, or rather, lack thereof.

6:00 p.m.

Bloody shit. In three hours time, have accomplished absolutely nothing. Am naked except for towel with nothing to wear as while was in shower, wardrobe was consumed by bulimic monster who suddenly felt fat and regurgitated contents in manner of small but very specific natural disaster.

6:30 p.m.

Am late and only have one bloody shoe. Where is my other shoe?

6:37 p.m.

Alright. Accio shoe! managed to cause every other shoe in possession that weren't needed (boots, sandals, mules, really hard to tell as they were flying at me at mach speeds) only to hit the wall, leaving particularly nasty marks. But did find silver lining in form of other shoe, hoorah. Will deal with wall later.

7:30 p.m. Does it really matter? Am in love.

Unfortunately, lack of punctuality was punished quite harshly as was seated by Penelope as was only available seat. Couldn't I have been seated next to troll or ill tempered house elf? Certainly would have been better than having Penelope lecture me on the necessity of finding a proper husband before biological clock gave up and crocked as she gorged herself with mashed potatoes as if they were a proper substitute for oxygen. Fortunately, Professor Lupin had been seated diagonally from me, allowing me to sneak glances over bites of ham as everyone else was engulfed in conversation. Thus, provoking fantasies about those corduroy trousers and a button up shirt that left me creating a small mathematical equation in head to figure out how many seconds of attention each button would require before…

Train of thought had been permanently derailed when eyes wondered up that shirt only to meet the Professor's stare and his signature raised eyebrow. Had been caught mid fantasy. Considered a memory charm, apparating to the nearest cliff in order to jump off and everything in between. Sure, worse things have happened (a particular Friday night comes to mind), but Penelope's attempts to recruit me into the Settle For Any Chap And Procreate As Soon as Possible Club combined with the embarrassment was too much to handle. But thankful couldn't even describe what I felt for the child bearing, mashed potato stuffing woman when she decided it was at this point in time that she should demand Percy to fetch some jalapeno peppers to go in her curry with a disturbingly determined pounding of her fist against the table. Fetch, Percy, fetch.

"Oh, look at the time." I declared in a high pitched voice that reminded me far too much of my Mother's, as Percy rushed off in the direction of the kitchen. "Really must be going." I continued, squeezing my way past Ginny, Harry and Ron who have all thought I was mad from the get go.

Stomped outside into the garden, preparing to apparate back to the hellhole that is my parent's house but not before properly introducing my palm to my face. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"You're hardly stupid." A voice declared from behind me. Was Professor Lupin. Heart jumped out of chest and scrambled off somewhere under the bushes as couldn't handle the excitement, but hardly cared. "As I recall, I've personally told you otherwise. Brightest witch of your year, or something along those lines. Nothing you haven't heard before."

Oh, that voice. Love it. Not silk smooth like French male breathing heavily into ear with foul cigarette breath as he fumbles with bra hook (don't want to talk about it), but not harsh and rough like Moodys where it could be sworn that he gargles with charcoal every morning simply for effect. It's simply Lupin.

"Anyway, I don't mean to keep you. I simply noticed you left this behind." At which point he handed me my little purse, but not before weighing it in his hand, "You must travel light." He said with a smirk. Of course, purse was empty. Bringing it was important, but failed to decide on contents before coming to dinner.

Wanted to say something witty, remarkably funny, but all that managed to come out was a weak "Thank you." After a small pause, he turned around to leave, as did I. Took every bit of self control to not tackle him like a thuggish rugby player, hold him down while confessing my adoration and beg him to whisk me off to his flat where we could live happily ever after in manner of modern fairy tale (or at least have a good shag, am very sexually frustrated and him wearing those trousers aren't helping the situation), but reminded self that I must retain some amount of dignity as most had been lost where the Professor had been concerned. As prepared to apparate to the hellhole that is my parents' house, saw him turn around with a smile and say "My invitation for the World Cup still stands." Looked quite surprised, as he must have noticed as he added quite cheekily, "I won't bite. Full moon isn't for a few more weeks"

Was so shocked that concentration was faltered and ended up apparating into parents bedroom to witness the beginning of what could have been the conception of a younger sibling. Am considering performing memory charm on self, but don't want to risk losing memory of Lupin and that cheeky smile. Am so giddy that am going to absolutely explode if I don't tell someone right away. Can't exactly go downstairs, sit Mum and Dad at the table and explain from the start:

"Well, you see, there's this boy. Actually, he's not a boy as he's very near 40, and happens to be a werewolf as well as a former Professor, but I see past that, you know? He's actually quite intelligent, very kind, and very shaggable if I do say so my self. The only problem is he thinks I'm a complete twit, but rightly so, as on a whim, I decided to dress up in a manner very similar to a school girl meets prostitute and throw myself at him, but that was silly, of course. Oh no, of course he refused my advances. Well, actually, I'm not very sure. Was very embarrassed as while I was in a skirt with a hem up to my ears, he came out with cleaning supplies, so I ran off. But then tonight, he offered me to share his tent. Very complicated indeed."

Simply won't do. Perhaps will pop over to Neville's and see if he's off work yet.

Midnight

Neffile is vury funny, but I do lurve Lupin, I do! Urmph, fell off chair. Sleepy. Beddy time.