Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Calibur, Soul Edge, Taki, Mitsurugi, Sophitia or Cassandra. These all
belong to NAMCO. Such a pity--they won't let me have them. Oh well. But this fanfic is mine.
Viator: By Your Side
The Sequel to Requietum:A Journey Home
by jin long
lycan11@yahoo.com
Chapter 4
This was just not a good day to be beyond the borders of Greece.
Cassandra breathed in deeply, eyeing the bandits before her, nervously gripping at her sword and
shield. One bandit, she could probably defeat, two maybe so as well. But five? This was so not her
day, the young Greek thought, backing up until her back met with a tree and the five bandits
cornered her, grinning maliciously. Years of training intended as discipline under a harsh ex-hoplite
were rendered useless at this very moment.
"Damn," Cassandra muttered under her breath. How the heck had her older sister survived
travelling alone outside Greece? How had Sophitia manage to wield this sword and shield with
barely any training at all?
Oh, right, she remembered sarcastically. The gods were with Sophitia all the time. The gods were
*always* looking out for Sophitia's welfare. They always looked out only for Sophitia. Always, just
always it had to be her sister that everyone cared about.
Even herself. Cassandra cursed silently. Why had she bothered to take up Sophitia's sword and
shield for her? Why had she worried so much when Sophitia had left for the second time to
pursue this.... Soul Edge? Why had she even cried?
Why had she cared?
It was good riddance! Good riddance! The plague known as her older sister, that person to whom
all things came so irritatingly easy, would have been gone!
The sword and shield began to feel light in her hands as her anger began to rise. Sophitia, always
Sophitia! Sophitia who was praised to the skies by her mother and father. Sophitia whom the gods
favored! Sophitia who could do no wrong!
Cassandra gritted her teeth. She'd show those gods! She'd show everyone!
This was just not a good day.
"I don't need gods!" Cassandra screamed in her mind.
From the corner of her eye she saw one bandit come in close to her, just within striking range of
her sword. She waited until he was well and truly within striking range before she lashed out, the
bandit crying out and stumbling back as his blood fell on the forest floor, followed by his severed
forearm.
"You bitch!" the now one-armed bandit yelled, though he was lucky Cassandra didn't understand
him. "You fucking bitch!"
Cassandra growled, rushing at him and slashing, managing to rend his chest deep from his
shoulder to his abdomen. The young Greek woman followed up her initial attack with a strike to his
abdomen, drawing blood yet again. The target of her misdirected anger fell back, clutching at his
stomach as he struggled to stand.
A second bandit rushed in from her shield-hand side, but she was too quick for him and smashed
her shield into his nose, breaking it. The bandit howled in pain, clutching at his nose, blood oozing
out from between his fingers. Cassandra didn't stop there, slamming her foot into his knee,
effectively dislocating the joint and causing the bandit to crumple to the ground.
She was too slow to recover from the attack, however, and the hilt of a short sword met with her
nape. Cassandra grunted, falling to her knees as he weapons clattered to the ground, then gasping
for breath as one of the three remaining bandits immediately rammed his foot into her stomach.
The young Greek clutched at her abdomen, almost feeling like throwing up right there and then.
"I told you! She had a goddamn sword and shield on her, you idiot!" she heard one bandit yell at
his comrades in very broken Greek. "Little fucking bitch would know how to use them, I said!" he
yelled, and Cassandra felt his fist smack into her face, cutting her lip, disorienting her and knocking
her down.
"Well, make her pay for hurting our buddies then, if you're so goddamn upset over it!" the young
Greek heard another bandit say, albeit not understanding the language it was said in.
"Hell yeah!" replied the bandit who had been striking her, and Cassandra looked up to see the
bandit cock his fist for yet another blow.
"Omae wa, baka yaro da!"
A hand caught the bandit's fist before it could even begin its descent, surprising both the bandit
and Cassandra as it pulled back on the rogue's arm while its owner kicked the rogue down to the
earth, making the bandit gasp with the suddeness of the blow.
Cassandra watched as the bandit smacked with a very audible thud into the ground, knocking up
earth and debris as the owner of the hand, now revealed to be a muscular oriental man on
horseback, grinned with mixed disgust and amusement at the unfortunate bandit.
The bandit's comrades were not dissuaded though, and one still rushed at the oriental swordsman,
even if the asian had a very apparent advantage in mobility and height upon the horse. The
mounted warrior drew his sword, scabbard and all, and in one quick motion simply smacked the
bandit silly, knocking him away like a rag doll.
"Che... aho da..." the Greek heard the oriental mutter as he replaced the sword and scabbard
at his belt.
A second oriental, this time a woman, came into view and eyed the scene in front of her. She
seemed quite amused, then spoke to the oriental man in a language that Cassandra found
impossible to decipher.
It was obviously something funny though, as the mounted swordsman laughed then spoke in what
seemed like a retort, looking over his shoulder and gesturing at the remaining bandit, who was
bewildered as anything.
The two orientals then eyed the last bandit, grinning diabolically. Cassandra watched as the only
remaining bandit took the hint then ran as far and as fast as his feet would take him. She couldn't
help but grin a little.
Not so tough once you're up against more than one, are you, Cassandra thought, watching as the
rest of the bandits - one with a smashed nose, one staggering with a hand clutching his stomach
and one with a big bruise on his head - that were able to flee did.
"Ne, You okay?"
Cassandra looked up at the oriental woman, who had dismounted from her horse and had her hand
extended towards the young Greek. "Y-you speak Greek?" the bewildered occidental girl said,
taking the offered hand and being pulled to her feet. "How is it that you know Greek?" Cassandra
asked, curious, since she'd never met someone outside Greece that could do so.
"I travel a lot," the oriental woman answered. Then Cassandra saw the Asian woman grin
sheepishly. "My apologies! Here we are saving your life and you don't even know our names!" she
heard the oriental woman say in slightly accented Greek. "I'm Taki, and my companion over there
is Mitsurugi. And you are?" Taki asked, motioning towards her.
Cassandra wondered wether or not to answer. Everyone outside of Greece, most especially Asians
like the Ottoman Turks, were barbarians to her mind. Unpredicatable barbarians, in fact, gods know
what they would do once she answered.
But then again, they did aid her, and besides, they did seem a nice pair. For barbarians, anyway.
They still were kind of gruff in Cassandra's opinion.
"Cassandra Alexandra," she finally said.
At the mention of her family name, Cassandra noticed that Taki's eyes somehow lit up with a sort
of recognition as the Japanese woman mumbled the name again. "Alexandra...? You're an
Alexandra?" Taki asked.
"Well, yes," Cassandra said. She began to wonder. Perhaps Taki had encountered her sister a long
time ago? After all, gods knew where Sophitia ended up those days. "You seem to be familiar with
my name, at least my surname. Have you met anyone before with the same family name?"
Cassandra finally asked.
Taki shrugged it off, though Cassandra noticed that the dimissal seemed half-hearted, and that
the oriental named Mitsurugi had arched an eyebrow in response to Taki's answer. "Maybe. It's
been years since I've last been around these parts," the ninja answered.
Cassandra watched as a smile returned to the kunoichi's face. "Anyway, what's a young woman
like yourself doing traveling these roads? And with these as well," Taki continued, holding up the
Omega Sword and Elk Shield as if they were the lightest of things in the world.
"I uh... I deal in antiquities... er, deliver them anyway," Cassandra lied, hoping Taki would not
see through it. "This was going to a buyer in, er, Italy..." the young Greek trailed off.
"Uh huh," she heard Taki mumble as the Japanese woman raised the sword to the light, looking
it over with what seemed to Cassandra an experienced eye. What puzzled the Greek, however,
was that the ninja also whispered an enigmatic "Not the same..." while eyeing the blade.
"You have experience with swords?" Cassandra asked, and was surprised as Taki answered with a
"Yes. I do a bit of smithing, here and there."
How odd, Cassandra thought, a woman smith. Hephaestus granted the skill to women as well? But
then again, Cassandra mused, Hephaestus had also sent a woman running around the barbarian
world in search of a cursed artifact, a dark sword to be exact.
Or rather, he had aided that woman, her sister. Cassandra crossed her arms over her chest. So
much for the gods. She'd had to manage everything, take care of herself by herself all the way to
the borders of this godforsaken barbarian land.
"Here."
The word snapped Cassandra out of her reverie and she decided to focus on the moment instead.
Taking back then sheathing the Omega Sword, Cassandra looked briefly for her shield then
strapped it to her back upon finding it.
"Thank you for your help," she told the two orientals. "I must get going now, though. It's getting
dark, and I had better get close to civilzation or at least an inn along the way."
"Actually, kid," she heard Mitsurugi say, "we were thinking that maybe you should travel with us."
Cassandra eyed him cautiously. "What makes you say that?"
At this, Mitsurugi laughed, stopped only by a admonishing yet soft look from Taki. "You said it
yourself. It's getting dark, and you need to get to an inn fast, right?" the swordsman asked in
heavily accented Greek.
Cassandra nodded. "Your point being?" she asked, though trying to be polite, funny as it was, to
this.... barbarian.
"Well, my pal and I just happen to be travelling on horseback," Mitsurugi continued, "and it looks
like it's a long way out of this place." He scratched his nose, then smiled. "On foot, you'll probably
never make it out before dusk is over, and who knows what may happen to a lone kid like you."
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," Cassandra said, although she knew that
Mitsurugi did have a point. "And stop calling me 'kid'! I'm twenty-one years old, for crying out
loud."
"Sure.... kid!" Mitsurugi laughed, ordering the horse to turn then begin a slow trot. Cassandra
listened then watched as the swordsman spoke to Taki in that language she couldn't understand
yet again, then waited as Taki mounted her own horse.
"Well, you coming?" Taki asked, offering Cassanda a hand as she made the horse go to the Greek's
front. "We'll leave you at the next village we come to, if you like," Taki said. "But you'd better come
with us for now. If how you handled those bandits is any indication, you're going to need some....
aid getting to the closest village."
Cassandra found herself agreeing with this foreigner's logic, then later in the saddle behind the
asian woman, arms clasped tightly around Taki's waist as the Japanese woman urged the horse
into a steady gallop.
"So," she heard Taki say, "what do you think of us 'barbarians' now?"
Cassandra was surprised. "You could tell that I was thinking that?"
"I've met a lot of people on my way here that thought the same. You all had that same look."
The Greek looked at the ground, embarrassed. "Oh. Well, sorry, then..."
"Hey, no problem, kid."
"Just please don't call me 'kid', Taki."
------------------
to be continued...
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*Preview*
Half-Assed Productions Presents
The Fourth Fanfic by jin long
Sophitia Alexandra
BILL WILL
Volume = Area x Height
*Sophitia brandishes the Omega Sword like a katana. She is wearing a yellow and black outfit.*
Sophitia:O-Range Wishi! You have a debt to settle with me! In blood!
*In front of her is Taki, dressed all in white with her hair tied back. Taki holds Rekki-maru and
Mekki-maru in her hands, still sheathed*
Taki:Dumbass Caucasian bitch likes to play with goddamn Hoplite swords. *smirks*
Sophitia:This is a Hephaestus' Hand-a sword.
Taki:Fuck yeah?
Sophitia:I defeated your personal bodyguard, No-no!
*Elsewhere, totally bloody and covered in bruises, Mitsurugi sneezes.*
Sophitia:And your personal army, the Nutty-99!
*Elsewhere, totally wiped out, the Fuuma clan sneezes*
Taki *scratches her head*:Yeah, I guess you fucking did.
Sophitia:Now it's your turn!
Taki:Well then, Black Samba, *draws Mekki-maru and Rekki-maru* En Guarde!
*They fight. Taki manages to cut Sophitia's back*
Sophitia:Owww! Heavens to Megatroid, that'll hurt for weeks!
Taki:Not to mention the blood will be hell to wash out.
Sophitia:Oh dear god! And this is my favorite outfit! You're going to pay!
*They fight again. Sophitia manages to strike Taki's leg. Taki manages to hop away*
Taki:Owww! Godfuckingdamnit! Blood is so hard to get out of white!
Sophitia:Hah! We're even!
Taki:Wait a minute, why are you fighting me again?
Sophitia:Because you, Coppertone, Rewinder and Metalgearsolid snake, the Not-Good-For-You
Vipah Killer Comrades, ruined my sister's wedding!
Taki:What wedding?
Sophitia:The one where the church looked like Swiss Cheese because of all the lawn darts you
guys threw.
Taki:Shit... THAT fricking Wedding!
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BILL WILL (He owes me something!)
Volume - Is-really-loud-right-now-turn-that-thing-off-dammit!
Coming soon to Fanfiction.net
belong to NAMCO. Such a pity--they won't let me have them. Oh well. But this fanfic is mine.
Viator: By Your Side
The Sequel to Requietum:A Journey Home
by jin long
lycan11@yahoo.com
Chapter 4
This was just not a good day to be beyond the borders of Greece.
Cassandra breathed in deeply, eyeing the bandits before her, nervously gripping at her sword and
shield. One bandit, she could probably defeat, two maybe so as well. But five? This was so not her
day, the young Greek thought, backing up until her back met with a tree and the five bandits
cornered her, grinning maliciously. Years of training intended as discipline under a harsh ex-hoplite
were rendered useless at this very moment.
"Damn," Cassandra muttered under her breath. How the heck had her older sister survived
travelling alone outside Greece? How had Sophitia manage to wield this sword and shield with
barely any training at all?
Oh, right, she remembered sarcastically. The gods were with Sophitia all the time. The gods were
*always* looking out for Sophitia's welfare. They always looked out only for Sophitia. Always, just
always it had to be her sister that everyone cared about.
Even herself. Cassandra cursed silently. Why had she bothered to take up Sophitia's sword and
shield for her? Why had she worried so much when Sophitia had left for the second time to
pursue this.... Soul Edge? Why had she even cried?
Why had she cared?
It was good riddance! Good riddance! The plague known as her older sister, that person to whom
all things came so irritatingly easy, would have been gone!
The sword and shield began to feel light in her hands as her anger began to rise. Sophitia, always
Sophitia! Sophitia who was praised to the skies by her mother and father. Sophitia whom the gods
favored! Sophitia who could do no wrong!
Cassandra gritted her teeth. She'd show those gods! She'd show everyone!
This was just not a good day.
"I don't need gods!" Cassandra screamed in her mind.
From the corner of her eye she saw one bandit come in close to her, just within striking range of
her sword. She waited until he was well and truly within striking range before she lashed out, the
bandit crying out and stumbling back as his blood fell on the forest floor, followed by his severed
forearm.
"You bitch!" the now one-armed bandit yelled, though he was lucky Cassandra didn't understand
him. "You fucking bitch!"
Cassandra growled, rushing at him and slashing, managing to rend his chest deep from his
shoulder to his abdomen. The young Greek woman followed up her initial attack with a strike to his
abdomen, drawing blood yet again. The target of her misdirected anger fell back, clutching at his
stomach as he struggled to stand.
A second bandit rushed in from her shield-hand side, but she was too quick for him and smashed
her shield into his nose, breaking it. The bandit howled in pain, clutching at his nose, blood oozing
out from between his fingers. Cassandra didn't stop there, slamming her foot into his knee,
effectively dislocating the joint and causing the bandit to crumple to the ground.
She was too slow to recover from the attack, however, and the hilt of a short sword met with her
nape. Cassandra grunted, falling to her knees as he weapons clattered to the ground, then gasping
for breath as one of the three remaining bandits immediately rammed his foot into her stomach.
The young Greek clutched at her abdomen, almost feeling like throwing up right there and then.
"I told you! She had a goddamn sword and shield on her, you idiot!" she heard one bandit yell at
his comrades in very broken Greek. "Little fucking bitch would know how to use them, I said!" he
yelled, and Cassandra felt his fist smack into her face, cutting her lip, disorienting her and knocking
her down.
"Well, make her pay for hurting our buddies then, if you're so goddamn upset over it!" the young
Greek heard another bandit say, albeit not understanding the language it was said in.
"Hell yeah!" replied the bandit who had been striking her, and Cassandra looked up to see the
bandit cock his fist for yet another blow.
"Omae wa, baka yaro da!"
A hand caught the bandit's fist before it could even begin its descent, surprising both the bandit
and Cassandra as it pulled back on the rogue's arm while its owner kicked the rogue down to the
earth, making the bandit gasp with the suddeness of the blow.
Cassandra watched as the bandit smacked with a very audible thud into the ground, knocking up
earth and debris as the owner of the hand, now revealed to be a muscular oriental man on
horseback, grinned with mixed disgust and amusement at the unfortunate bandit.
The bandit's comrades were not dissuaded though, and one still rushed at the oriental swordsman,
even if the asian had a very apparent advantage in mobility and height upon the horse. The
mounted warrior drew his sword, scabbard and all, and in one quick motion simply smacked the
bandit silly, knocking him away like a rag doll.
"Che... aho da..." the Greek heard the oriental mutter as he replaced the sword and scabbard
at his belt.
A second oriental, this time a woman, came into view and eyed the scene in front of her. She
seemed quite amused, then spoke to the oriental man in a language that Cassandra found
impossible to decipher.
It was obviously something funny though, as the mounted swordsman laughed then spoke in what
seemed like a retort, looking over his shoulder and gesturing at the remaining bandit, who was
bewildered as anything.
The two orientals then eyed the last bandit, grinning diabolically. Cassandra watched as the only
remaining bandit took the hint then ran as far and as fast as his feet would take him. She couldn't
help but grin a little.
Not so tough once you're up against more than one, are you, Cassandra thought, watching as the
rest of the bandits - one with a smashed nose, one staggering with a hand clutching his stomach
and one with a big bruise on his head - that were able to flee did.
"Ne, You okay?"
Cassandra looked up at the oriental woman, who had dismounted from her horse and had her hand
extended towards the young Greek. "Y-you speak Greek?" the bewildered occidental girl said,
taking the offered hand and being pulled to her feet. "How is it that you know Greek?" Cassandra
asked, curious, since she'd never met someone outside Greece that could do so.
"I travel a lot," the oriental woman answered. Then Cassandra saw the Asian woman grin
sheepishly. "My apologies! Here we are saving your life and you don't even know our names!" she
heard the oriental woman say in slightly accented Greek. "I'm Taki, and my companion over there
is Mitsurugi. And you are?" Taki asked, motioning towards her.
Cassandra wondered wether or not to answer. Everyone outside of Greece, most especially Asians
like the Ottoman Turks, were barbarians to her mind. Unpredicatable barbarians, in fact, gods know
what they would do once she answered.
But then again, they did aid her, and besides, they did seem a nice pair. For barbarians, anyway.
They still were kind of gruff in Cassandra's opinion.
"Cassandra Alexandra," she finally said.
At the mention of her family name, Cassandra noticed that Taki's eyes somehow lit up with a sort
of recognition as the Japanese woman mumbled the name again. "Alexandra...? You're an
Alexandra?" Taki asked.
"Well, yes," Cassandra said. She began to wonder. Perhaps Taki had encountered her sister a long
time ago? After all, gods knew where Sophitia ended up those days. "You seem to be familiar with
my name, at least my surname. Have you met anyone before with the same family name?"
Cassandra finally asked.
Taki shrugged it off, though Cassandra noticed that the dimissal seemed half-hearted, and that
the oriental named Mitsurugi had arched an eyebrow in response to Taki's answer. "Maybe. It's
been years since I've last been around these parts," the ninja answered.
Cassandra watched as a smile returned to the kunoichi's face. "Anyway, what's a young woman
like yourself doing traveling these roads? And with these as well," Taki continued, holding up the
Omega Sword and Elk Shield as if they were the lightest of things in the world.
"I uh... I deal in antiquities... er, deliver them anyway," Cassandra lied, hoping Taki would not
see through it. "This was going to a buyer in, er, Italy..." the young Greek trailed off.
"Uh huh," she heard Taki mumble as the Japanese woman raised the sword to the light, looking
it over with what seemed to Cassandra an experienced eye. What puzzled the Greek, however,
was that the ninja also whispered an enigmatic "Not the same..." while eyeing the blade.
"You have experience with swords?" Cassandra asked, and was surprised as Taki answered with a
"Yes. I do a bit of smithing, here and there."
How odd, Cassandra thought, a woman smith. Hephaestus granted the skill to women as well? But
then again, Cassandra mused, Hephaestus had also sent a woman running around the barbarian
world in search of a cursed artifact, a dark sword to be exact.
Or rather, he had aided that woman, her sister. Cassandra crossed her arms over her chest. So
much for the gods. She'd had to manage everything, take care of herself by herself all the way to
the borders of this godforsaken barbarian land.
"Here."
The word snapped Cassandra out of her reverie and she decided to focus on the moment instead.
Taking back then sheathing the Omega Sword, Cassandra looked briefly for her shield then
strapped it to her back upon finding it.
"Thank you for your help," she told the two orientals. "I must get going now, though. It's getting
dark, and I had better get close to civilzation or at least an inn along the way."
"Actually, kid," she heard Mitsurugi say, "we were thinking that maybe you should travel with us."
Cassandra eyed him cautiously. "What makes you say that?"
At this, Mitsurugi laughed, stopped only by a admonishing yet soft look from Taki. "You said it
yourself. It's getting dark, and you need to get to an inn fast, right?" the swordsman asked in
heavily accented Greek.
Cassandra nodded. "Your point being?" she asked, though trying to be polite, funny as it was, to
this.... barbarian.
"Well, my pal and I just happen to be travelling on horseback," Mitsurugi continued, "and it looks
like it's a long way out of this place." He scratched his nose, then smiled. "On foot, you'll probably
never make it out before dusk is over, and who knows what may happen to a lone kid like you."
"I can take care of myself, thank you very much," Cassandra said, although she knew that
Mitsurugi did have a point. "And stop calling me 'kid'! I'm twenty-one years old, for crying out
loud."
"Sure.... kid!" Mitsurugi laughed, ordering the horse to turn then begin a slow trot. Cassandra
listened then watched as the swordsman spoke to Taki in that language she couldn't understand
yet again, then waited as Taki mounted her own horse.
"Well, you coming?" Taki asked, offering Cassanda a hand as she made the horse go to the Greek's
front. "We'll leave you at the next village we come to, if you like," Taki said. "But you'd better come
with us for now. If how you handled those bandits is any indication, you're going to need some....
aid getting to the closest village."
Cassandra found herself agreeing with this foreigner's logic, then later in the saddle behind the
asian woman, arms clasped tightly around Taki's waist as the Japanese woman urged the horse
into a steady gallop.
"So," she heard Taki say, "what do you think of us 'barbarians' now?"
Cassandra was surprised. "You could tell that I was thinking that?"
"I've met a lot of people on my way here that thought the same. You all had that same look."
The Greek looked at the ground, embarrassed. "Oh. Well, sorry, then..."
"Hey, no problem, kid."
"Just please don't call me 'kid', Taki."
------------------
to be continued...
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*Preview*
Half-Assed Productions Presents
The Fourth Fanfic by jin long
Sophitia Alexandra
BILL WILL
Volume = Area x Height
*Sophitia brandishes the Omega Sword like a katana. She is wearing a yellow and black outfit.*
Sophitia:O-Range Wishi! You have a debt to settle with me! In blood!
*In front of her is Taki, dressed all in white with her hair tied back. Taki holds Rekki-maru and
Mekki-maru in her hands, still sheathed*
Taki:Dumbass Caucasian bitch likes to play with goddamn Hoplite swords. *smirks*
Sophitia:This is a Hephaestus' Hand-a sword.
Taki:Fuck yeah?
Sophitia:I defeated your personal bodyguard, No-no!
*Elsewhere, totally bloody and covered in bruises, Mitsurugi sneezes.*
Sophitia:And your personal army, the Nutty-99!
*Elsewhere, totally wiped out, the Fuuma clan sneezes*
Taki *scratches her head*:Yeah, I guess you fucking did.
Sophitia:Now it's your turn!
Taki:Well then, Black Samba, *draws Mekki-maru and Rekki-maru* En Guarde!
*They fight. Taki manages to cut Sophitia's back*
Sophitia:Owww! Heavens to Megatroid, that'll hurt for weeks!
Taki:Not to mention the blood will be hell to wash out.
Sophitia:Oh dear god! And this is my favorite outfit! You're going to pay!
*They fight again. Sophitia manages to strike Taki's leg. Taki manages to hop away*
Taki:Owww! Godfuckingdamnit! Blood is so hard to get out of white!
Sophitia:Hah! We're even!
Taki:Wait a minute, why are you fighting me again?
Sophitia:Because you, Coppertone, Rewinder and Metalgearsolid snake, the Not-Good-For-You
Vipah Killer Comrades, ruined my sister's wedding!
Taki:What wedding?
Sophitia:The one where the church looked like Swiss Cheese because of all the lawn darts you
guys threw.
Taki:Shit... THAT fricking Wedding!
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BILL WILL (He owes me something!)
Volume - Is-really-loud-right-now-turn-that-thing-off-dammit!
Coming soon to Fanfiction.net