you're against the grain in the pain of a world
you don't speak a sound or walk around in anymore
full of silent expectations no one could have known
so how would I?

September 1st 7AM

Darkness stretched out all around me as I hovered gently in the air. Suddenly the darkness shifted and I found myself in a strange room. A gigantic mirror stood a few feet away and I walked toward it to get a better look. I stared into the mirror but instead of seeing my own reflection, a small, green-eyed boy with messy black hair was smiling back at me. On his left an image of a tall, skinny man with a turban wrapped around his head appeared. The man lunged for the boy and I jumped away from the mirror. I could feel myself falling toward the floor but instead of making contact I continued to fall.

The scene shifted and I was standing in my own yard. I was seven years old and my father was wrapping a scarf tightly around my neck. Lucas came running over from next door. He grabbed one of my gloved hands and pulled me towards his home. We played in the snow for a few minutes until he sent a snowball flying my way. I backed up towards a tree, preparing to dodge, but my feet slipped in the snow and I fell backwards into the tree. But the tree had disappeared and was replaced with a dirty stone column.

I looked around nervously in confusion. I had never seen the place before; it was a huge room with stone walls. I didn't have much time to investigate as a gigantic snake came slithering across the ground toward me. On the right hand side of the room I saw a huge circular opening. I ran to the opening and jumped inside. My stomach flipped and my heart pounded in my chest as the room disappeared.

My fists were bloody from pounding on the backdoor that led into the house. "Please let me in," I whispered. I sank to the ground and waited. Soon I heard my father on the other side of the door speaking to Lucas' mother in hushed tones. He said something I couldn't make out and a few minutes later the door swung open and I leapt into his arms. He carried me through the doorway and I was immediately deposited onto the floor as he vanished before my eyes, along with everything else around me.

"Help!" I yelled into the empty void, "Someone please help me!" No help came and I screamed as my surroundings changed once again. I was in my father's workroom, surrounded by his paintings. My eyes wandered to the painting directly in front of me. I gasped in fright and then stared at it silently. Two gigantic red eyes surrounded in black stared back at me.

My mind began to tear itself away from the nightmare as I heard two angry voices off in the distance. I lay still for a few moments and feigned sleep as I listened to the argued conversation.

"I have told you ten times already Severus," an irritated female voice exclaimed, "She was not poisoned. I have run every magical scan possible and not one of them turned up any indication of poisoning."

"I know a poison when I see one!" snarled Severus, "A student gave her pumpkin juice on the train and she has been feeling ill since then. It had to be laced with something."

"I'm sorry Severus," the woman sighed, "but there's nothing more I can do. Albus will be down after breakfast; perhaps he can help explain all of this."

The sound of retreating footsteps echoed around me and I flinched slightly when I heard a door slam off to my left. Severus let out an exasperated groan and began to leave. I opened my eyes and turned to watch him, attempting to call out a greeting before he left. Instead of words a gurgling sound escaped me and Severus stopped in his tracks. His eyes widened in surprise as I leaned over the side of the bed and began to cough. A moment later a small pool of blood had formed on the clean white tile.

"Pomfrey!" Severus yelled as he ran toward me, "Pomfrey! Get out here NOW!" Madam Pomfrey flew out of her office and rushed to my side while Severus moved to the other side of the bed and gently rubbed my back as I began to vomit. Madam Pomfrey's professional mask was fading and she began to grow hysterical as the blood continued to drain from my mouth onto the floor.

"I don't know what to do Severus!" she shrieked, "It's as if she's bleeding internally but every magical scan I have run shows that there is no internal damage." She grabbed a basin and placed it on the floor to collect the blood. "I'm going to run some tests using her blood but it will take at least an hour."

"We don't have an hour," Severus growled, "At this rate she'll bleed to death." The door to the infirmary suddenly opened and I faintly heard the sound of someone walking in.

"Professor Snape, sir," a youthful female voice called out nervously, "Professor Dumbledore asked me to come and check on Jenny. Is she going to be okay?"

"Does she look as if she will be okay Miss Matheson?" Severus snarled, "Go to the headmaster and tell him to come to the infirmary immediately!" He barked the last words loudly and for a moment I was sure that I could hear Miss Matheson's heart thumping loudly. She let out a small squeak and ran out of the infirmary.

The coughing fits and vomiting finally subsided and I was able to take a nice, long deep breath. My lungs rattled slightly and my head felt as if it was caught in a vice. I groaned as Severus gently maneuvered my body so I was lying on my back. Immediately I began to choke on the blood and bile leftover in my throat. I heard him mutter something I couldn't quite hear and suddenly the bed shifted so I was sitting up. I grunted in approval as the coughing stopped once again.

I wanted to ask what was wrong with me but I found myself too afraid to speak. It felt as if my whole body was rebelling against me and despite my mind's protest I attempted to remain as still as possible. My eyes moved around the room slowly as I tried to make out anything I could. Everything seemed to be a white blur, with the exception of Severus hovering over me; he was a black and white fuzzy mass.

"Sev," I managed to whisper.

"Shhhhh," he said softly, "Just rest, when Albus gets here he'll know how to help you."

"But Sev," I pleaded. I desperately wanted to tell him that there was something wrong with my eyes. Tears ran slowly down my cheeks as fear gripped me. What if I was going blind?!

"Hush," Severus said sternly, "You can talk when you are feeling better." The infirmary was completely silent except for Severus occasionally muttering a curse word under his breath.

Severus and I both jumped as the swinging doors to the infirmary flew open and the headmaster quickly rushed toward us. Even with poor eyesight it was hard not to recognize Dumbledore as he was wearing the ugliest robe I'd ever seen. It was bright purple with huge yellow dandelions pictured all over the front.

"Severus, what has happened to Miss Riddle?" he asked as he studied me closely.

"I'm not sure," Severus said in a shaky voice, "She woke up and began coughing and vomiting blood." Dumbledore gasped.

"Miss Riddle," he said softly, "Can you hear me?" I nodded my head slowly. "Can you speak?"

"Barely," I whispered hoarsely.

"Are you in pain?" he asked.

"Yes," I mumbled, "and I can't see clearly." Dumbledore waved a hand in front of my eyes.

"Are you able to see how many fingers I am holding up?"

"Yes," I said with a nod, "I see two fingers but they're all blurry."

"Headmaster," Severus interrupted, "Do you know what is wrong with her?" Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

"I have an idea but I do not know for sure," he explained, "Can you tell me what happened last night when you fainted?"

"I felt dizzy," I mumbled, "and sick. Arms and legs…went numb. The staircase was moving…" My voice trailed off into a quiet whisper as I fought to stay awake.

"Headmaster…"

"I heard her Severus," Dumbledore stated grimly, "I was afraid something like this might happen when she arrived."

"What is it?" I asked hesitantly. Dumbledore moved to sit in the chair on one side of the bed. Severus sat on my other side and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"The castle is draining your energy," Dumbledore explained. Severus gasped and his grip on my hand tightened considerably. "Unfortunately the only thing that can be done at the moment is to move Miss Riddle out of Hogwarts. She cannot stay here another night," he stated in a stern voice.

"But why is Hogwarts doing this?" Severus asked unbelievingly, "Jenny is as much an heir of the founders as Potter, shouldn't it be protecting her?"

"It would seem," Dumbledore stated gravely, "the castle is trying to save itself. As I told you both last night, the castle can survive as long as at least one heir remains. It knows Harry is still alive which means that Jenny is expendable at the moment."

"But how can it do this?" I wheezed.

"It is using the same bond that it formed with Harry," he explained, "You share his blood and even your magic signature is nearly identical to Harry's own signature. The problem arises with the bond itself. Harry and Hogwarts share a two-way bond, which means they share energy equally. You do not have a bond with the castle Miss Riddle, so while the castle can use your energy, you cannot use the castle's energy in return."

"It is ironic," he added, "that the very bond that saved your father so many times is now slowly killing you."

"I don't understand," Severus growled, "If the castle and Potter share a bond and they can use each other's energy then aren't they both doomed." Dumbledore seemed to think on this for a moment.

"I'm assuming you are wondering how the castle and Harry would survive if Harry was brought back here considering that they are both close to death?" Severus and I both nodded at the same time.

"Hogwarts is near death due to its depleted magical reserves and without Harry here it has no way to build those reserves back up," Dumbledore explained, "Harry's condition is different. I'm almost certain that he has used very little magic in the time he has been away. He is not dieing due to magical drain. He is dieing due to the fact that he has been away from his bonded for so long. The two cannot exist without one another."

"So if my father hasn't used magic in nineteen years," I said as I turned toward the tall blurry figure sitting next to me, "then what would happen if he was brought back here?" Dumbledore brought a blurry hand up to scratch at his bearded chin.

"I'm not exactly sure," he stated, "With nineteen years of magic built up inside Harry we could be in for quite a surprise."

"But first things first," he said with a clap of his hands, "We need to get you out of Hogwarts. I would move you to Hogsmeade but I fear even that is to close. The Burrow would be a logical choice but I'm not sure if the constant hustling and bustling would be good for your current condition."

"If I might interject Albus," said Severus, "I might know of someone who would be able to take care of Miss Riddle for the time being."

"Severus," Dumbledore warned, "I think I know of whom you are speaking of and I don't know if that would be the best place for Miss Riddle to be at the moment."

"But you know Jenny would be safe there," Severus pleaded, "and she would take good care of Jenny. You know she would do anything to keep Harry's daughter safe." I looked back and forth between Severus and Dumbledore as they argued. It seemed as if they had forgotten I was there.

"Who are you both talking about?" I asked and neither seemed to hear me.

"And when was it decided that we would tell her that Harry had a daughter?" Dumbledore questioned in a slightly threatening tone. Severus swallowed audibly.

"She may have…met Jenny already," he offered in a shaky voice, "and she might have recognized that Jenny is Harry's daughter."

"Recognized or was told?" Dumbledore asked angrily and I cowered further into my pillow. This was a side of the old wizard that I hadn't seen yet and I suddenly understood why he was known as the most powerful wizard in the world.

"Excuse me," I whispered but Severus and Dumbledore just glared at one another. "Um hello," I said a little louder as I waved my hand weakly between them. They both snapped out of their silent standoff and seemed quite surprised when they realized I was still in the room.

"Can someone please tell me who in the world you are talking about?" I questioned, glancing at them both with a puzzled expression.

"Khalida List," Severus stated anxiously.

"You mean the vampire we met in London?"

"Miss Riddle," Dumbledore interrupted, "I do not think it would be a good idea if…"

I held up one hand to cut off Dumbledore's explanation. I shot Severus a wry grin which turned into a smirk as I turned to tell Dumbledore my thoughts on the subject.

"I think that's a fine idea."